Ahh, the sweet joy of karma. Nothing sounds more harmonizing, looks more appealing, and tastes sweeter than good friend Karma.
As soon as we get past the depression stage of a breakup and transition into the anger stage, boy do our feelings change.
Suddenly, our mentality switches from a desperate state to a more self-respectful one, giving us an opportunity to finally see our exes for the people they are.
That means we get to stand up for ourselves and take care of ourselves. We may still want our ex back, but now, we want justice for our exes’ dishonesty and treachery. We don’t just want our exes to go through what we did.
We want more.
We expect our exes to pay dearly for the pain they’ve caused so we can feel that we’re not suffering alone and that our exes can take responsibility. Responsibility for treating us worse than a stranger.
In the anger stage of a breakup, we’re so angry that we demand immediate punishment for those who humiliated us, abandoned us, and knocked us down to the ground. We think to ourselves “I have suffered for days and weeks because of you. Now it’s your turn to pay.”
Little do we know that our ex’s suffering won’t make fix what our ex has broken. It might put a bandage on our wounds, but it won’t heal them and help us develop ourselves into stronger, maturer, and more successful people.
But if you’re wondering, “Will karma get my ex for treating me badly,” rest assured that it will. The only problem is that it won’t happen when you want it to. It will likely happen when you’re already mainly or fully over your ex and don’t care about the things your ex said and did to hurt you.
This post is for people who want karma to hit their ex and validate their feelings.
I want karma to get my ex so badly
Dear reader, I understand exactly how you feel because I went through a painful rejection as well. If karma was tangible and I could have bought it, I would have sold all my belongings and run into the first shop to buy all the karma I could afford.
I honestly believed that as long as my ex-partner was having an amazing time without me, I would never be content on my own. I thought that my ex didn’t have the right to be happy when I was miserable, so I wanted to take matters of justice into my own hands.
As I yearned for revenge and justice for her bad post-breakup treatment, my heart raced and my mind became blurry. I came up with 100 different ways for my ex to get hit by karma and expected her to pay for her wrongdoings.
I am not ashamed to admit that I have visualized many bad things happening to my ex and would sometimes contemplate her running back to me to say she’d made a huge mistake.
But when I realized what my crazy obsession with revenge and karmic justice was doing to me, I reluctantly took a step back and asked myself. “Why would my ex’s unhappiness bring me joy? It would certainly make me feel better in the heat of the moment but not after I’ve calmed down. It would just make me into a vengeful person who hurts others to get a kick out of it.”
And that would make me no better than my ex. It’d make me impulsive and vengeful, so I chose not to take revenge. I knew that I shouldn’t be the person to punish my ex because there are plenty of people out there who would do the dirty job for me.
Those people would teach my ex lessons whereas I would just look petty and give my ex another reason to stay away from me.
Plotting revenge on your ex
Had I decided to take matters of karmic justice into my own hands and do something despicable, like post my ex’s pictures online, I would end up being the bad guy. My vengeful actions would show my ex that she’s gotten to me and that I lack control over my actions.
Not only would my ex tell her people what a bad person I am for doing something nasty but all my bad actions would sooner rather than later come flying back at me. My family and friends would find out what I’ve done, mutual friends would side with my ex, and I would feel horrible and blame myself even more.
That’s why if you’re plotting revenge on your ex, I strongly encourage you not to do it. It’s okay and normal to wish bad things to happen to your ex as this is something you’re doing to cope with your ex’s unfair actions.
But don’t act on those plans or you’re seriously going to regret it. Ask anyone who’s done something nasty. He or she will convince you that revenge is for the weak-minded and that stronger people walk away with dignity.
If you’ve already done something bad, though and your ex hasn’t blocked you yet, then at the very least apologize to your ex. Say that emotions got the best of you and that you’ll be focusing on yourself from now on.
Revenge is satisfying
Is revenge sweet? Yes, it is. It tastes like the sweetest candy this world has to offer.
But is it short-lived? You bet!
I’m sure you can think of many ways to bring your ex down to his or her knees and make him or her sorry for ever crossing paths with you. You can do that and get your justice today – probably this very moment from the comfort of your home.
But before you do that, know that your bad actions will definitely affect you and your good karma.
Provided you care about your image, you will without a doubt regret taking revenge and wish you’d just left your ex alone. Revenge isn’t just about teaching your ex a lesson – to be smarter in the next relationship. It’s personal as your goal is to destroy your ex’s life and force your ex to struggle emotionally.
You, therefore, need to control yourself even if your ex cheated on you and monkey-branched onto someone else.
It’s what your loved ones expect you to do and what you should do if you respect yourself.
By acting on impulse, you won’t prove that you’re a badass and in control. You’ll prove that you lack control and that you’re vengeful and a danger to yourself.
Your friends and family will probably find out what you did—and something tells me you’ll care about that once you’ve calmed down and collected your thoughts.
So instead of completely ruining your image of the person you are and wish to become in the future, don’t go down that path. There are many more suitable ways to vent your frustrations and remain a person of high value.
A great way to start detaching and transforming yourself is by commenting on this article or by joining the community on the Magnet of Success Discord channel.
There are a million things you can do to turn your attention away from unwanted thoughts and feel better as a result. I urge you to focus on improving yourself rather than destroying your ex.
When you cool off and recover, the work you’ve invested in yourself will decide whether you’ve grown, regressed, or remained the same.
Keep in mind that karma always strikes—whether it’s because you’ve done something terrible or because your ex treated you badly. The undeniable fact is that it hits people when they least expect it.
Yes, karma can be that sneaky.
Sometimes all that needs to happen is for enough time to pass for bad karma to build up. Once it’s built up, it strikes hard and unexpectedly. And that’s when people normally learn their lessons.
Well, at least those who reflect on their behavior.
How does karma work?
People who get hurt by the dumper they trusted demand immediate punishment. They want karma to hit their ex the very moment they get hurt.
If it were possible, dumpees would immediately pick up the phone and call the God of punishments to make misery rain down on their ex.
In doing so, they would get even and bask in their ability to manipulate their ex’s feelings. This is what dumpees want. They want to know that they can influence their ex. They especially want to see that they can take happiness away from their ex because doing so reassures them that they matter.
It’s the dumpees’ belief that by doing something mean, their exes would quickly regret their actions and express sorrow. But karma, unfortunately, doesn’t work that way. The dumpee isn’t the bringer of justice. He or she lost the ability to teach the dumper a lesson a long time ago.
The only thing who can teach the dumper a valuable lesson is life itself. Life can help your ex ignore the need to work on himself or herself and encourage your ex to get involved with someone who doesn’t tolerate the kind of behavior you did.
That’s when karma will punish your ex for thinking he or she can get away by refusing to grow.
I’ve spent countless hours looking for the best explanation of karma and learning how it works, and finally, I believe I came across the best explanation by Earl Nightingale.
In his book Lead the field, I have found the most reasonable and realistic definition of karma I could find.
Earl Nightingale describes karma as a boomerang. All actions—good or bad come back to us.
He says, “Every time a person does something dishonest, he is in effect tossing a boomerang. How far out it will travel, no one knows. How great or how small a circle it will traverse, only time will tell. But it will, eventually it must, finally come swift and unseen around behind that person and deliver its never-failing and painful blow to the back of his neck.”
If a person thinks positively and does positive things, he or she gets positive results. And if a person thinks negatively and does negative things, he or she yields negative results. That’s why you can be certain that karma will hit your ex. You can’t expect it not to.
Especially if your ex is severely undeveloped.
Hit and run
People don’t usually hurt someone and then never do it again. Sure, some convicts learn their lessons and become better people, but your ex is no convict. Your ex got away without paying a price for it and will, therefore, have to pay for it eventually.
So really, your ex is in a completely different category.
Your ex thinks of himself or herself as a victim, which means that your ex cannot and will not change at all.
If convicts take years of confinement to change their belief system (or don’t at all), don’t think that your ex can do it in a day.
It’s preposterous to think the dumper will sit down and try to grow from this experience. Your ex just wants to focus on self-distraction and moving on. He or she has no time and patience for personal development. Your ex is not ready for it. Not until karma strikes him or her hard.
Changing one’s belief system takes time—a lot of time. It takes appropriately 21 days of a conscious effort to develop or erase a bad habit.
Moreover, it takes three times that long to make it a permanent part of us without us. So theoretically, the amount of time it takes to correct bad karma depends on how much he or she has sinned.
I can’t say how long it will take your ex to correct his or her bad karma because I don’t know your ex. I don’t know what your ex has done and what he or she is doing to grow right now. But I can say that if your ex is focusing on enjoying himself or herself that your ex won’t improve karma at all.
Your ex will just carry certain behavioral patterns into the next relationship and act similarly as before.
As you sow, so shall you reap
What you give is what you get. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.
If your ex thinks, feels, speaks, acts, and reacts in a certain way, you can expect the same from this person in the future. You can expect your ex not to change these things because your ex lacks the will or need to change them.
He or she is focusing on moving instead.
One does not change his or her beliefs simply by moving on. As you know, people are creatures of habit. We are controlled by our thoughts and follow certain patterns. That’s what makes us us.
We can control negative thoughts and emotions if we choose to do so, but oftentimes we don’t. Not when we’ve developed ourselves in ways that we merely react to them.
Biologically, we are wired to think, talk and act in a way that makes it the easiest for us. And what makes it the easiest for us are the patterns we subconsciously form with our thoughts—and further reinforce with our emotions.
Once we’ve created a thought and empowered it with emotions, we make it into a permanent belief and later pattern.
So remember that your ex isn’t sitting at home crying and trying to improve his or her behaviors and patterns. Your ex is too busy doing the things he or she loves the most. This includes self-distraction and the enjoyment of relief.
You on the other hand, probably want to improve as you got hit by the breakup blues. You want to learn about the reasons behind the breakup and understand the breakup dynamics.
This sets you on the path to self-discovery.
Before your breakup, you didn’t care much about any of this breakup stuff. You probably didn’t even know it existed. You had your own hobbies and activities you enjoyed and didn’t think about what you’d do if you broke up.
The fact that you are reading this post means that you’re open-minded and ready to absorb information. You don’t need to memorize this post word by word to improve. All you have to do is take in the information you find valuable and you’ll slowly rewire your brain and improve in ways you need to.
The same goes for your ex, but your ex isn’t reading or learning anything. Your ex will probably become interested in self-improvement much later when your ex gets hit by karma and has no choice but to improve.
Will karma get my ex?
Karma will unquestionably hit your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time before the roles reverse and your ex pays for his or her wrongs.
Continuous bad actions always catch up to you and smite you when you least expect them to. This normally happens when you’re in your most vulnerable state and don’t see karma coming.
Just to remind you, the most vulnerable state doesn’t always mean that you are depressed and out of luck. You usually become the most vulnerable when you are the happiest and don’t see karma coming.
So bear in mind that karma hits cheating ex-girlfriends, narcissists, liars, thieves, and anyone harming others.
It plays no favorites.
When you do a disservice to others and live a selfish life, bad results always come back around to you. It’s the law of attraction.
So if your ex treated you poorly and left you for someone else, he or she is will have to pay for it in one way or another. It might take time, but eventually, your ex will cross paths with the wrong person and feel his or her wrath.
And even if your ex hides in the basement and doesn’t interact with anyone, your ex will still get hit by karma. Just in other ways.
Drug dealers, criminals, and various dangerous people are aware of their improper behavior. They know they have completely destroyed their karma a long time ago, so they must now live in fear, worry guilt, shame, and self-doubt and hide.
Your ex might not get affected to that degree, but the same principles apply.
Your ex still:
- Commits karmic injustice
- Feels good for feeling empowered
- Realizes what he or she has done
- Feels guilty
- Temporarily ruins his or her karma
I say temporarily because people can redeem their karma. They just have to learn from their mistakes and swear an oath not to make the same mistakes in the future.
Although chances are small—especially right after the breakup, your ex must first get punished for what he or she has done. People don’t really learn the nice way, and neither will your ex.
Not for as long as he or she is happy and doesn’t regret anything.
Always remember that your ex could one day get hit by karma and you won’t even know about it. Your ex could just check up on you to see how you’re doing and then disappear again.
My ex hurt me badly
I understand that your ex has hurt you severely once or multiple times and shattered your world. He or she likely acted coldly toward you during and after the breakup and refused to give you closure. Your ex probably even destroyed your self-esteem and coincidentally, ruined your dreams with his or her selfish actions.
Because your ex has hurt you horribly, you now want him or her to experience hell. I get that. You think that if you could just punish your ex that your ex would understand how much the relationship meant to you and how hurt you are.
It’s truly unfortunate that your ex doesn’t care much about how much he or she has hurt you right now, but you shouldn’t worry about that too much. Dumpers are in a completely different world after the breakup. They’re focusing on things they want to do, and as a result, forget about their ex.
It’s hard to understand how someone you love or loved can hurt you so much, but breakups can get very ugly. They bring out the worst in people and hurt both dumpees and dumpers in different ways.
You’re likely asking yourself, “Why doesn’t my ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend care? Why am I the only one hurting?
The truth is that your ex was in pain before the breakup. It wasn’t the kind of pain you’re going through now, but it was some kind of discontent nonetheless. For that reason, your ex is now tired of the relationship and needs some alone time.
Here’s a question from me to you. Do you know what the most difficult part of the breakup is?
It’s not just losing a person you care about. It’s seeing that your former boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t care about you. The most awful feeling is when you know that your ex left you behind and moved on – possibly with someone else.
That’s a devastating punch to the gut.
Can you wish bad karma on someone?
As Earl Nightingale says, give karma enough time to get your ex and deliver the never-failing and painful blow. Your ex will get hit by karma. I can guarantee you that.
Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your preferences, you will not care about it when it happens.
Karma does not care, nor does it listen to anyone. The more you want something bad to happen to someone you know, the more negativity you will attract into your own life.
Wishing karma on your ex is dangerous because you can become obsessed with seeking justice. And when you become dependent on your ex’s misfortune for your happiness, life gets really, really sad and miserable.
You stop worrying about yourself and try to bring your ex down just to feel better.
That’s not a productive way to live. You should focus on making your life better rather than your ex’s worse.
I want my ex to suffer
If you’re hoping your ex gets hit by karma, you’re putting your own good karma at risk. You’re deliberately stooping to your ex’s level and expecting the laws of the universe to deliver the punishing blow.
Wanting your ex to suffer the way you did, however, will not bring you justice, nor will it make you feel better forever.
The most you will get out of it is a quick adrenaline rush and an evil grin on your face. And that’s it.
So trust me when I say that if something really, really bad happens to your ex that you’ll realize you don’t want your ex to suffer at all. Not even if your ex slept with your best friend and betrayed you more than anyone before.
This is true even if your ex absolutely diminished your worth and scarred you deeply. You just won’t find joy in seeing your ex suffer once he or she finally gets hit by karma.
Wishing bad karma on your ex is, therefore, very bad for your own conscience and your healing process.
It holds you back from moving on and leaving the past where it belongs – in the past. You don’t need more negativity in your life, do you? I reckon that the breakup was traumatic enough and that you’d rather attract good things into your life.
Things that actually matter.
Seeing your ex suffer as a result of bad karma would only add more weight to your already-sinking boat. At the moment, your boat has holes in it so you need to fix it.
Dear reader, you don’t need to wish bad karma on your ex. If your ex hurt you badly, karma is already on its way to your ex. It might have a few other stops to make first but it will eventually come knocking on your ex’s doors.
The scary part about karma is that it doesn’t always knock. It comes barging through the doors, hitting people in the face.
No signs, no warning, only payback.
Forgive an ex that’s hurt you
To forgive means to forget and to forget means to forgive. One cannot occur without the other. It takes great strength and courage to forgive those who hurt you, but you need to do what’s right, not what feels right.
You must go against your nature (if it’s telling you to punish your ex) and let go of vengeful thoughts.
Forgiving an ex that’s hurt you badly won’t be easy and it will take little time. But rest assured that the reward will be worth the effort.
Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
Keep in mind that it doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting karma to get your ex. You’re obviously hurt and need reassurance. But it does, however, make you a great person for forgiving your ex for hurting you.
Are you hoping that karma will hit your ex? Let me know whether you want your ex to suffer for dumping you and hurting you in the comments section below the article.
And if you’re looking for someone to knock some sense into you so you don’t act on instinct and regret it later, get in touch with us here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
We were in a relationship for two years. Before getting into the relationship I said to her if you cant marry then I don’t even want to be your friend. But she agreed on everything. After few months she said ill be with you only whatever happens. I sacrificed a lot of things to be with her. I was working in a company. To perceive higher studies at that time I wrote an exam by quitting my job. I cleared it and got selected for a top college. But my girlfriend got tensed and said to me if you go my parents will make me married to someone else. So I couldn’t see her like that and I promised her though God says me to perceive my higher studies I won’t go. Days passed she got a govt. job, at that time I even said her “your level has changed(cos I was still working in a private sector) if you want you can leave me now itself cos I love you truly and If you leave me later ill suffer a lot”. But she was like don’t worry im with you. After that, I begged before my father about us and he agreed for our marriage. To get a govt. job I quit my job and returned to my home town to study my self. I studied for 15-16hours a day without waking up from a place. Whenever I used to sleep her face used to come before my eyes and I used to getup suddenly start studying by saying myself that Im not allowed to cheat her and im not allowed to lose her. I wrote many exams but none of my exams was getting cleared. Finally, I wrote an exam which went well and I was waiting for the results to come. Days passed her arents started searching for a guy. She said she’s Manglik(she said me before also about this) and she’s a year elder to me and these two may create problem. I was really tensed. When she started saying about manglik I started getting irritated cos I don’t believe in such things. We were getting into fight. Later she asked her parents about us and they said no. When they said no she called me and said she cant go against her parents. She said one relation has come and even he’s manglik and hes having govt job. She even said she met him when her parents forced her to meet. I was literally broken cos I left one more opportunity of a job in CANADA with 2.36Lakh salary a month. I didn’t go to that job since she had govt. job. And I wanted to stay with her only. Still she was with me only for a few months. But she started neglecting me. And she even said her parents gave her number to that guy with her permission. Later she stayed online late night being with me. When I asked her she used to give silly reasons. One day my father got admitted to hospital and it was around 4 o clock in the morning but she was still online. When I asked her about this she said she slept in the afternoon so she’s not getting sleep. After few days she started saying me im not sure about my parents and I don’t want to marry anyone. I felt there is something wrong. My father was in hospital for a month Alongside situation was literally bad. I had to concentrate on him.Alongside my gf started talking with someone on call till 5am in the morning. I was literally broken. One side my fathers tension and on the otheride, I was getting cheated upon. I begged her to be with me cos I was in the worst phase of my life. But she said these things will make you strong don’t worry. I begged don’t talk to any but she finally said me shes talking to the one to whom she should marry and don’t irritate and annoyed her. I cried a lot and begged before her like anything. She never listened to me and started saying me like “we aren’t meant for each other. I hate you from the core. I don’t want to make my life hell by coming to back to you”. I was broken so badly and I felt like quitting my life. Is this what I deserved even after being so much dedicated towards her? Won’t i get hurt after sacrificing a lot? Was i meant for such thing even after being loyal towards her? Won’t karma teach such kind of people for cheating? She used my feelings and literally moved towards that guy. When she got full feelings toward him she dumped me. Won’t karma teach them a lesson for doing such things?
Is karma real? Will i be happy?
My boyfriend and I were together for about 4 years. We were different in many aspects such as career, income, values, education, morale, etc. – i was the one doing better. But i loved him with all my heart and gave him everything i had, paid for rent, bought him clothes, took care of him every single day. Though i always felt he was living a double life, 2 years into our relationship i was certain he was cheating on me (not picking up his phone for hours, disappearing), but he always said he was helping his parents and that i was paranoid and bad for suspecting him. He made me question myself as a person, i thought i was a bad person for years. Tried to give him everything and wanted to create a family with him. He was telling me he wants that too, that we will get married, have babies, all will happen for us. He then proposed to me with no ring, said the ring was hidden and i will eventually get it. However,10 days after he proposed and after 4 years of dating, he told me he doesn’t want to marry me and i forgave him, said it was okay, took him back, thinking i was bad for wanting marriage. Then, we started dating on and off, he was living both with me and his parents (1 day with me, 1 day with his parents), was telling me there was no other woman, he is home alone, but i had a feeling he’s lying. A few months after he told me he doesn’t want to marry me, he left me on my birthday saying i am not right for him. My present for my birthday was a breakup and i paid my bill at the restaurant.
I knew he was lying for not having anyone else, but he told me i was crazy and that we cannot be together with me being such a bad person and suppressing him so badly. And so, through social media i found out he is with another woman, he is doing drugs, constantly drunk out of his mind, and these were all posts his new “friends” and new company were constantly uploading. I also found out that he has been doing drugs while we were together, lying to me about it. I found out that he was saying to people he doesn’t have a girlfriend and when someone asked him about me, he said that he doesn’t care about me. I gained weight and have been severely depressed because i genuinely thought i was a horrible person that doesn’t deserve any happiness in this world, i thought i was hurting him.. Then, i found out he has been telling other people that knew we were together that all i do is sit on the couch and get fat, that he is suffering because of me.
I never lied to my ex, never ever thought of cheating on him, never even looked at another man, i was giving all my salary for our rent, food, his car gas, even giving him money. I loved him dearly and wanted to give him the world, wanted to help him with his career, and even when i was dealing with a family loss i was helping him with his job problems, always giving advice, always being there for him. Started going to therapy because i thought i was so bad and i needed to change, that i don’t deserve him.
I then confronted him directly, after he again told me there was no one else, there won’t be anyone else as i am the love of his life.. and i told him i knew and saw him with another girl. He did not respond to me for 10 days and then a message came through saying that he didn’t know how i’ll react, because i am such a bad person and he was afraid of me. That was the last of our contact.
I then spent months trying to pick myself up. A lot of people came to me (some of whicharen’t even friends of mine, they were just trying to help me get better) and told me stories of how they’ve seen him doing drugs, cheating, getting drunk while i was home alone crying and thinking what i bi*ch i am.
I was 100% honest with him, sure i made mistakes, i engaged in fights, i was not always happy, i was not always willing to go out to the places he was going, i was sometimes mad at him, but i was always next to him when he needed me, always offering trips, hobbies, entertainment, i created a home for us and gave my last cent for it. Never cheated. Never lied for anything.
So, if anyone reads this, please tell me.. did i deserve this? Will his actions receive a reaction from the universe? I don’t want to hurt him, i don’t want revenge, i don’t want to ever see or talk to him again, i forgave and am trying to forgive now. But will all this love i gave come back to me? Why does he receive another person and maybe happiness, after all he’s done and i am the one suffering?
You did not deserve this. Not at all. Straighten your crown and work on you.
My ex left me after 10 months of dating. He was the one who approached me after my engagement breaking and vowed to work things out no matter how difficult it all got in between.
He after several months started to ignore and not give me enough time where as lately he has been barely sleeping for 5 hours! He gave me a cold shoulder during his brothers wedding and did not introduced me to his extended family as his gf!
He out of the blues wanted to break up and was determined! I begged, pleaded, told him how much I love him and looked up to him to being the one – he walked away saying I ruined everything by not giving him space!
And I killed every bit of the feeling he had for me! He was not willing to even give us a second chance!
In anger I asked for all that I paid for and when he returned the money – he mentioned that my true colours popped out (because I asked for my money) and that Karma hit me for me leaving my ex fiancé for him! Where as he fully well knew I was cheated on and he was a support to me to heal!
He out poured feelings when my heart was weak and broken!
He got in touch with his ex and hid this from me! He lied to me many times and yet I was so honest to him even being a broken person I made sure I loved him and took care of him!
He made fun of my health, said I made up stories every time!
He went for a wedding last night and was the centre of attraction to women! But when I used to be around he would not want to dance or have fun! But last night he was so happy, dancing and clicking pictures!
I do not want bad for him but I’ve been praying he realises and resolves our issues!
He understands what all I’ve done and how much I loved him even though I could not love myself but did all I could for him! I’m praying that the Lord listens and brings him back to me with forgiveness if I have hurt him and to forget the bad days he bestowed upon me.
I see him happy and not regret the pain and trauma he put me in! I can’t wish bad for him because I really fell in love with him and saw a future he showed me! My ex Jonathan is not a bad guy but does bad things because it was done to him!
Please pray for him and for our relation restoration that we reunite and love each other again! It seems impossible but prayers work miracles!
Please pray that we reunite and he realises that he should have not put me through so much knowing I loved him with all my heart and chose him to live all my life!
I cannot bear the pain and see him with another! God answers prayers – please pray for us 🙏🏻
Please pray that God can heal him and make him understand that I was the one for him and my heart has been broken with what he has done and said but yet the love is true and sincere that even after being humiliated and said ill things to I still am holding on to the last string of hope for a miracle to love him and be loved again!
People call it living in denial – but I know that God listens and if prayed for he will work miracles for he is the Lord of love and no one is above him ❤️
Where was this “Lord of Love” when I had to bury my 3 month old son, causing me unimaginable suffering and giving me PTSD? I prayed that he would be revived and, instead, he was taken to the morgue. Prayer doesn’t work because God is nothing more than mythical, like Santa Clause or the tooth fairy. The sooner you accept that and let go of the delusions that praying, aka talking to yourself, the sooner you’ll realize the world isn’t fair and things don’t always work out for the best in the end.
hey! I loved it. Thanks a lot ♥️
I was in a relationship for 4 years he was really good and we were happy with each other !
As we wanted our future to be good I told him to do masters in Ireland and he agreed to that and went Jan 2019 ! I cried my heart out when he left because I didn’t know how to be without him but I never had doubts on him that he might cheat on me. Never it even crossed the corner of my mind or heart.
After a month he started ignoring me but my gut feeling also told me something’s wrong and I cried and begged him to tell me if he’s doing something bad there he lied he kept on lying! I had a gut feeling that something’s bad is happening with his project partner! But I never thought he’s capable of it!
I Was traumatised continuously for 3-4 months before I even knew what’s happening but after that we were good but one day I turned out to text (September ) the girl he was close with and it shocked me to death where she told that she’s ashamed that she did this to me and they were together for 3 months and had a physical relationship and then she told him this is all wrong and stopped it! she told I know il be hit by a karma. I knew you guys were in a relationship and I still did. I’m sorry.
But at that moment Too I didn’t believe her because I trusted this guy more than myself but later she sent me pictures of them,I couldn’t move when I saw the pictures and texts . My heart broke. I never even thought he was capable of such things. Because I feel no human can do such bad things to another human. it’s too bad!
I caught him he lied again and again then I sent the pictures that she sent me then he told “ Sorry I never wanted to leave you, I thought you will never get to know so I did those things and I knew it was just for few months”
It’s been a year since he left to masters I missed him the whole time while he was f****** around and lying to me on my face.
I can’t sit alone for 15 min because I will break out . My friends helped me to get out of anxiety and depression but deep down I know it’s all still there and when I’m alone it all hits me like a wave
I feel bad that he still thinks it’s all so cool and you know it’s not a big deal il just move on! He still ignores me and I’m such a dumbass to sit and wait here for him to turn into human.
Even now he treats me so bad every single second and tells me “guilt doesn’t allow me to treat you good and be normal” but he goes and parties with his friends and tells I differentiate between my personal and social life” really? When he wants to enjoy it’s social but when he wants to put effort then it’s ME.
How can he still give me such lame reasons? I’m here to forgive him but he’s still there giving me such reasons which triggers me so so much!
Yes as you said it’s too hard for me to even get out of the bed but I’m also trying to do well in my life. I have visa interview in 2 days if it goes well then IL be leaving to US for my masters in this month.
But Will he get his karma for doing such awful things to me? I badly want him to get hit by a karma and I tell him the same that karma will hit him.
Get out get out get out get out get out. This person is toxic, emotionally absent and WILL NOT CHANGE.
Sorry for typo…word is ‘protecting your hear’:)
Thanks for thorough and detailed articles. Eastern cultures deeply believe in karma, and you reap what you sow. I have always avoided casual relationships because i believe in the sacredness of commitments. As an encouragement to readers, the more you practice delaying your own gratification, the opportunuties to experience karma are constant, protecting your heart. Gaurd your hearts and test peoples intentions!
I have ran into and caught guys with lousy intentions with their side/rebounds literally next to me. They feel so weak and helpless in that moment.That is the best feeling you can get after doing the right thing by treading carefully. You are a valuable human being here on earth benefiting the world.
Lin, this is so beautifully put! I whole-heartedly agree.
my gf left me for someone else after 1 yr r-ship. we went to another city to work there, I went 2 months later there and she already had a new boyfriend and never told me. i found it out accidentally.
will karma hit her?
Hi Fred.
Karma always hits people who continue making the same mistakes. So if your ex hasn’t learned anything since she left you, she will without a doubt repeat the same behavioral patterns.
Best,
Zan
I was in relationship/9till 2015) for 3 yrs..my gf left me for someone.she even left him and now is getting married to totally 3rd person…i was shattered but later on got engaged to a girl who hided her 10 yr old affair..so did her parents..after four months of engagement she left me for that guy… does karma really exist?? as i consecutively got cheated??!!
Hi Ashwin.
It certainly does.
Karma strikes those who continuously hurt others. And those who get hurt, often retaliate with the same or higher intensity.
Stay strong and don’t lose hope in people.
Best,
Zan
Loved reading this article. My ex husband ended our marriage over the phone approximately 2.5 years ago. I never got an explanation or to have a face conversation with him… he simply disappeared. I went through the roller coaster Of emotions detailed and it faded over time.
It took a lot of strength from myself to move forward with my life and I’m at a point where I rarely think about him.
I have discovered that the relationship he is in now (found out our marriage ended because of his new relationship), is not all so peachy and happy. Although I believe this is my karma moment and I instantly recognised it as so, my instant thought is to his partner and how much sorrow I have that she is going through something similar. I can only hope he identifies his poor behaviour this time and works hard on improving himself.
Hi Sarah.
Thanks for the comment.
No relationship is perfect, and your ex definitely needs to work hard to keep it going.
Whether he will try harder with his new relationship we don’t know.
We do, however, know that his behavior, no longer concerns you.
His self-improvement is in his hands.
Kind regards,
Zan
My ex, unbeknownst to me, recorded me while we were having sex and sent it to his friends. He then rewarded himself with a cross-country trip with his new gf… Whom he obviously was persuing while we were together. He is happy and care free. I’m miserable. This has affected me in every aspect. I’ve been hospitalized, more depressed than ever, distracted at work and school and can’t seem to move on with someone I’m really interested in. I want more than anything to forget and to move on but I can’t. I’m angry and hurt.
Thank you for this amazing article – my husband of 33 years walked out on our marriage and our future with no explanation. My first half year was a real struggle especially watching him enjoy his “freedom”. I think I read close to 25 books on relationships, spirituality, growth, forgiveness – now 2+ years later I see that I am the one who received the gift of freedom to become myself and do what I am meant to do with my life. I did not even realize I was living in a prison of trying to please him, and never being able to. I could not see what my future would hold in the early days, but feel gratitude every day and a deep sense of knowing that the pain was necessary for my growth. There are moments when I still slide into that “I sure hope he learns something” and then I realize-not my problem. He is not part of my life anymore, and I am very happy with that.
Hi Tricia.
Thank you for commenting.
You’re absolutely right.
Your ex-husband’s growth is no longer your concern. He craved freedom and left, but this also has its advantages. Now you also have more time for improving yourself and your shortcomings which I’m sure you already worked on.
I’m glad you’ve found your happiness and managed to get the most out of your breakup.
Kind regards,
Zan
Is it bad that I am sensitive? Is it really immature that I want her little time or I take all her sarcasm talks by my heart.
It started 3 months ago. My Aunt told me about her thatbher ex boyfriend hurted her by cheating. I was interested from that moment only in her that I will take ger all pain in my heart and we will live happily but you know in India we have society and have caste problems. She told my Aunt her family have no such issues and neither was mine. It was all good until her father told her. “I have given you freedom that doesnt mean you take it in a wrong way, I can’t bare anything silly where we have to leave you or you have to.” After that also, we were talked like nothing happened. She met my sister, brother and we assumed her our new member. We use to talk a lot, I did her all the stuffs as I was told. I helped her in her studies and many more. But, it looks like I owe her. She started controlling me, not to tell all our stuffs to my mom, Aunt, not to play games on mobile, keep distance with my best friend. She was very pretty and use to tell me “you never had a women like me so pretty so never look like that to me” it annoyed me. I got hurted and she again said all the time you get hurt and start weeping like I have no heart only you bear heart in your body. Some weeks ago she went with me for shopping and on the very next day she was with me in my aunt’s house her mother knew about us. But, suddenly after some days her actions were uncertain. She use to ignore me, not replying my messages. When I use to call her she only has 4 words “what do I say”. It hurted me a lot, I use to give her surprises but she never given one but I didnt wanted, I just needed her care, love. I use to tell her”I miss you very much” and she use to reply me “Hmm”.
It was my birthday she never wished me only on whatsapp, I was in a expectation that she would wish me 1st. But never mind. She came and told me I cannot give you time because my family will never accept you so let’s end here right today. You are a gentle and good guy but my mom said that my family will never accept you. Sorry.
I was keep following her on every social apps. She was online use to be on call upto late night at 2.30AM daily which use to be our talking time. Am I wrong that getting hurt and take these “small”things by my heart?.
According to her. I am in hell right now I called after that I begged her please dont leave me I cannot able to bare this pain. But, she replied ” Dont talk with me any more, My family will never accept you “. I then asked her why did you told my aunt that you family have no such issues? Then she started all her non sense that I told you what my dad said that day and all.
Now, kindly suggest something it very hard to bare this pain. Will my karma hit me again as I did something wrong with her. As she did the same as her ex-boyfriend did to her before me. Now, she is with somebody else maybe. Only, I am in hell waiting for her to come and understand my pain and hug me.
I’m thankful that I happen to read your article.. Yes I do wish my ex husband his karma. My husband left me with someone who is also married.. with so much anger in my heart everyday I wish that Karma will come to them soon. I imagine that the husband of that bitch will find out about their relationship and He will go crazy hunting them down, turn them to the police station and put the two behind bars, or I wish that he will hurt the two badly that they will end up in a hospital.. somehow In my head, I’m creating a scenario for their karma, and I said to myself, if all these things will just really happen I will be able to move on completely and be happy for them.. But as your article said and as many people around me who advise not to think like that, Maybe I just really need to focus on my self-worth and go on with my life after all people like them are like garbage.. I hope God will forgive me of thinking this way.. ANd I pray that someday I can forgive them..
Hi fortune.
Vent out your frustrations if you need to. But don’t let your ex’s bad actions affect your future relationships. It’s not worth sacrificing your future over a bad relationship.
Forgive and forget instead!
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi there I have the same problem but worse I need advice on what to do I. My current situation. I dated my recent Bf named Daniel who is now my ex I left him even thought I dint want too because he was Bri ting me down. He had extra baggage from his previous ex’s and he also dealt with weed off and on and oringally a nice guy and person . It wasn’t until four months in he became a different person and was controlling over me and would demand that I go drive to his place and see him right away or at his school. We met as friends through my friend Jennifer back in high school he is now a senior this year I’m now a college student . I dumped him last month due to his selfishness and controlling behavior and something else . He told me in a text he was going on a date with a girl who happened to be my friend Jennifer from school . I at first was stunned and upset he didn’t text me back until dinner time . Anyways I texted her a month later saying that I knew about the date and my Bf Danny told me not to tel her that they had the date and that he gave her a speech she needed and almost cried. She told me she didn’t want to get into our relationship and told me to talk to him next thing I know he found out from her and he starts cussing me out and blames me for talking behind his back and going after someone he cares about and he called her his sister . I still feel guilty about this I’m unsure if I did the right thing I told him that I felt he was hiding something and I wanted to know if anything happened and that she was my friend I thought she would tell me the truth instead of avoiding talking to me . He stopped any contact with me and so did I and basically said some hurtful things to me about karma for me . Please comment to my issue and let me know what I should do next I’m trying to move on in my life but I’m really hurt 😞 because I thought he was the right one I was in love with him
Hi Katherine.
He seems like the impulsive, immature type who loses his marbles if he can’t control everything.
I don’t think you did anything wrong.
But do try to stay in no contact from now on and give him the freedom he so badly craves.
You’ll find someone better. You’ll see.
Best regards,
Zan
Loved this article. After a 17 year waste of time, I realized that I seen the red flags. I knew it was a partial commitment from the ex. After a long horrible relationship and to be dumped like trash was …………life altering.
Its now a year later and I’m in a wonderful relationship. Its like walking out of hell and into heaven. I had to see the worst in order to know what the best looks like. I had no doubt he was the one for me. I have never in my life been happier.
There is still a dark cloud of hurt at times and I then hope he is suffering. He is. He still lives with his mom and has went through 2 back surgeries. His new gf is single mom living in a trailer that sells 2nd hand stuff on fb. They are both missing some teeth and he is still the same old ex. I do hope he hits the bottom and karma kicks his butt. Not so he suffers but so he can see and fix himself, like I did. I did not respect myself enough to get out earlier and I paid for it. I have treated myself like crap and allowed other too also.
Maybe he will see his mistakes one day and apologize. Maybe he never will. I still hope he hits the bottom and grows to be a good person one day and that he is as happy as I am now.
It would be nice after a 17 year relationship to be able to just sit and have a civil conversation. I don’t hate him or want him hurt. That hate he has for me has to be heavy for him. I gave him 17 years and I let him break me and then I let him go. Now he hates me for moving on and being happy. He hates that he doesn’t matter to me anymore. He tries to turn our boys against me and they see what he does too. He is sinking and it hurts to watch.
I am getting married in November to my Mr. Perfect. All I know is that all the crap I went through led me right to my future husband. You know when its right. There is no doubts and nothing from that old hurt could stop it. He will be forgotten but that clear vision and the lesson I learned from all of it made me level up. Trust karma to handle it, and worry about your own karma and path.
Hi Samantha.
Thank you for your amazing comment.
Karma always delivers its blow.
I’m glad you’ve found someone you get along with.
Kind regards,
Zan
I don’t even have words. I was married and my husband committed suicide. My ex was the guy who was with me.through everything. We ended up together for 5 years. Three of those were long distance. He was suppose to move to be with me and it always got pushed back. Only suppose to be one year… then 2… then broke his promise again and when I was devestated… I found texts from a “coworker” in his phone. One day he just stopped telling me he loved me, stopped talking to me, and when I rightfully got upset and heartbroken… all he said was “you’re driving me insane”. I stopped talking to him.. and then after a few.weeks tried texting me every day and one day I said stop contacting me. I later called him and forgave him for what he did to me.. for me. And he had the nerve to not say a thing. No sorry… he actually said “I did everything. You blocked me and wouldn’t talk to me”
Like are you kidding!? So after all he did he twisted it all to everyone and himself that I left!!!!! I said do you want me to give up on you and move on and he wouldn’t answer it. I asked if he indeed loves someone new and said no. He won’t answer anything on purpose just to be an ass so I can’t get closure and move on in peace knowing anything clear cut. So I have to live in pain wondering what I ever did wrong. I feel abandoned. And the worst part… his family posts stuff on social media about karma and this and that. Like they ALL literally cut me out of their life when all I ever did was love him and try to be with him in person. After everything I went through after losing my husband…. he left me like I meant NOTHING. How can anyone be so cruel. He told me he wanted a family with me and this and that and made me believe it all. All to waste my time making me believe he was going to be with me and then do that.
I want karma so bad… because I feel I will never love.or trust anyone ever again. He saw me lose my husband and grieve the worst pain a person can feel… and he still did that. If a.person is that heartless… there is no such thing as love. And it.makes me.sick to.think he will move on and get married and have a life I always wanted… a family. Children. I always wanted to be a mom. And now I’ll never have that because I’ll. Never trust anyone or.love again. He ruined my life. While he can Go do anything. It’s not fair.
Hi there.
I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through. It must have been difficult.
Everyone has the right to do anything but that doesn’t make it the right thing to do.
The fact that he cheated on you and treated you badly afterward shows what kind of a person he is. If I were you, I’d be glad it happened now than later when you had a family of your own.
He’s cruel because he found a different person to care for and it’s not really your fault. You didn’t tell him to find another person so don’t blame yourself. It was his mentality to take an opportunity if it presents itself – so he did.
You will get over this, but whatever you do, don’t close yourself off from others. You must trust others to be trusted again when the time is right.
Kind regards,
Zan
Hi Zan,
I so hope you are right, and I must say that it is giving me a little bit of hope among all of my confusion.
Just over a month ago, my partner of 7 years ended our relationship. I have needed constant support throughout the breakup and what has emerged significantly when working through his behavior with counselors is that it appears to them that he has been ‘gaslighting’ me for a very long time. I am currently on medication as he said that I kept going ‘crazy’, couldn’t remember how I was acting and what I was saying and of how I was becoming overly emotional, negative and irrational over trivial things.
.
When he ended the relationship, he did the whole ‘you’re the love of my life, we’re soulmates, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me’. While then proceeding to berate me and invalidate my emotions when I was struggling to cope with him still living in the home I own and sharing my bed even after he chose to end it. When I took the control of the breakup back, it was met with even more ‘gaslighting’ behavior.
I was desperate to know what was going on, what was being said about me to his friends so I looked through his phone, and to discover that he has already got his eye on another woman was so painful. This woman is a friend of one of his closest female friends who has been helping him throughout our relationship ending by supporting and believing him whenever he told her how he was struggling to deal with me going ‘crazy’ because I was not looking after myself. I was doing everything he asked of me, and the only one trying to save the relationship. His friend has been taking the bait that he is the ‘victim’ in the relationship, and I can only assume that she will actively help him to try and find the ‘love’ that he deserves. Her friend is positioned perfectly to help him fill that desire.
He did tell me that my behavior didn’t end the relationship, but that his issues did. It is instances like that which make me think that he is reading through articles like this and will work on his abusive behavior so that he can get the new girl and keep her for longer than 7 years. I cannot help but be frustrated that he may find happiness again after eroding my self-confidence, self-esteem and having me question my sanity repeatedly. I am still recovering from the ‘gaslighting’ and so I cannot help but think after reading your article, does he deserve ‘karma’ or am I the one that has done wrong, and this is my karma?
I am trying so hard to focus on myself however I can still hear his voice in my head abusing me. It is still very raw, so it is hard right now to even consider forgiving him, wishing him well and wishing for happiness in life and love.
Hi, Zan!
I hope you’ve been doing well!
About a month ago I shared my story in a comment under your GIGS article. Basically, my ex decided the grass would be greener with his older coworker who I wasn’t supposed to be worried about.
It’s been a good month for me. I’ve been coming back to your articles whenever I feel sad or angry about the way my ex ended things. They’ve really helped me understand why he did what he did and I’ve come to truly wrap my head around the fact that there was nothing I could have done to stop him from looking the other way. If he chose to throw away a loving and functional relationship of 5 years for someone he barely knew, that’s on him.
He did reach out to me a couple of weeks ago. I had texted his mom for her name day and although she replied (a lovely reply btw, I teared up when I read it) and thanked me, a few hours later I got a text from my ex as well. He too wanted to thank me for texting his mom. Apparently, I had made her day and he was grateful for that. It was a very sweet message. I have no idea why he felt the need to text me when his mom had already thanked me, so if you have the time, I’d love to hear your take on the situation.
The reason I’m sharing this with you in a comment under this article is because yesterday was my ex’s birthday. The weeks prior his birthday I was absolutely sure it wouldn’t affect me in any way and that I would be strong enough not to text him. I did end up not texting him, but I was a mess from the minute I woke up to the moment I went to sleep. It’s his first birthday in 5 years that I was not the first person to call him, wish him all the best, and tell him how much I love him. It’s his first birthday in 5 years that we did not get his favorite ice cream cake. It’s his first birthday in 5 years that we were not together. I was… sad, to say the least.
Then I opened your blog and saw this article – on point, just like always. Yes, my ex did betray me and our relationship. Yes, he did leave me for someone else and yes, he did lie about it during the breakup. He was never mean to me, but he did make me feel like it was all my fault – unintentionally or not. Yet, I was never thirsty for revenge. After the initial shock of hearing the real reason why he left dissipated, I knew his actions will have consequences – but it’s not my job to serve justice. I’ve always believed that people reap what they sow and I’ve seen it play out in many situations to many people – including myself. In the moments I hurt the most, I did wish for karma to get him quickly, but ultimately I knew this would lead to nowhere.
So today I feel at peace. Yes, I admit it broke my heart to not text him for his birthday, but I think it was the right decision in this situation. It’s not a form of punishment for breaking my heart, but it is a consequence of his actions. Just like feeling like shit about it is a consequence of my choice to keep loving him, though not in the same way I used to, despite what he did to me and to our relationship.
Thank you for writing this article. It came at the exact time I needed it the most.
Best wishes,
Hanna
Hi Hanna.
I’m doing well and I hope you are too!
I do not think your ex had any ulterior motives by messaging you. I honestly believe he was trying to show sincerity in return for your kindness. Perhaps he is very close with his mom, saw that it made her incredibly happy and wanted to tell you he appreciates your efforts. You simply gave him a good reason to reach out.
As far as his birthday goes, I completely agree with you and support you with your decision not to reach out. He doesn’t deserve your kind wishes or your messages anymore. He didn’t from the moment he betrayed you and left you for someone else.
It must have been hard for you to remain strong on his birthday as it likely brought back lots of nostalgic memories. Good job for holding on and keeping it together. You’ll get over this mess, one day at a time. And when you are, it’ll be up to karma to do its work.
Kind regards,
Zan
Another great article Zan, thanks.
Having revengeful feelings to my ex for me, although gives a bit of comfort short term, but being filled with hate only puts me in a mindset that ruins my recovery and definitely hinders me from ‘becoming the best version of myself’.
Im over 3 months NC and I do have angry thoughts towards my ex sometimes, which I know is all part of the recovery process but I have to also work really hard to ‘forgive’ her actions and accept that I got to see the whole person and look for the lessons that perhaps my karma is trying to show me, that I need to learn and grow from for my future.
Nobody is perfect and although I still miss my ex, I want my future GF, if she does ever hurt me by mistake, to accept the hurt she caused me and work together with real empathy and never do it again.
I did try in my last relationship and I was very proud of myself, because I did want to talk about how she was hurting me and us, only to have her blame me and keep saying I was needy and too sensitive.
Through your supportive articles and whilst Ive maintained NC, Ive come to accept, I wasn’t needy or too sensitive but in fact, I was looking for true intimacy, whereby 2 partners can discuss their feelings in a safe and non-judgemental fashion and be loved for sharing those feelings and supported in healing from them. I didn’t get that and thats a big lesson Ive learned to look for in my future GF.
This article is again, totally honest and hard to accept but needs to be, whereby Im working on myself with self development and she’s probably not, so Im improving myself, gaining my self respect, learning to put up healthy boundaries and if she ever reaches out to me in the future, she’ll probably be the same whole person I got to see, but Id have moved on.
What goes around, comes around and I accept that is what Karma does, so I try to make sure I only do good things to others.
Once again Zan, you seem to write these articles especially for me and I can’t wait for the next one.
David
Hey David. Thanks for the comment!
Wishing karma on your ex is perfectly normal. We all go through this process and I’m glad you’ve realized that too. As you say, it does ultimately prevent you from reaching your full potential so it’s best to learn, live and forget. Only when you’ve forgiven your ex for hurting you, you can forgive yourself. Once these two things are in harmony, you will notice a big change in your life. You will no longer feel held back in life by unwanted thoughts and emotions. Your mind will have become clearer with joy and positive thinking. When you are free of the burdens—which is your past traumatic experience, you will be able to kickstart your life by applying the lessons and experiences you’ve learned post-breakup.
As for the karma—you don’t need to hope, you don’t need to pray. It will always reward those who do good deeds and “punish” the perpetrators of wrongdoings.
Stay strong, David!
Zan
well I believe we all want karma for the most part because we were badly hurt. i also believe that we should not dwell on it and let it happen like you said. It will happen and we might not know it. I also believe our brains from time to time bring up revenge but does not always if at all act up on it. i just feel let the cards fall where they may.
Hi Gary. I absolutely agree with you. Thanks for the comment!