If you’re trying to get your ex-girlfriend back and it seems impossible because she’s unreceptive to you, you probably opposed the breakup and tried to reason with your ex.
You thought that your ex could be won over with promises, pleading, and a lot of perseverance—and that it’s only a matter of time before she comes back.
If this is the path you chose, you’ve, unfortunately, gone at it the wrong way. Exes don’t come back when you make your life all about them and appear desperate to be with them. It’s quite the opposite actually. They come back when you stop trying to prove your worth and give them space.
And that’s because space gives them time to focus on themselves and forces them to compare other people and experiences to you. It also lets them ponder about you and makes them doubt their decisions if they fail on their quest for self-discovery.
Getting back with an ex who developed a lot of resentment for you isn’t easy. It’s an extremely difficult and painful task because other than minding your own business, there’s not much you can do to make your ex see you in a better light.
Only she can do that. But she must really, really want to.
Most detached and victimized exes, unfortunately, don’t want to change the way they feel about their ex-boyfriends. They like viewing their exes the way they did prior to the breakup because doing so gives them power and control. It makes them feel in charge of their lives because they think they didn’t have much of a say in the relationship before.
Only the most mature and self-aware people who’ve done the work on themselves know that holding grudges is unhealthy and unfair to their exes. That’s why such people respect their exes and treat them fairly even if their exes sometimes ask too much of them.
If your ex-girlfriend isn’t treating you well and has very little if any respect for you, you have to understand that your ex-girlfriend has a self-centered mindset. She doesn’t understand or care about the pain she’s directly or indirectly causing you and just wants to get rid of you so she can focus on herself.
An ex like this is, unfortunately, of no use to you. She’s a burden to you as her actions affect your emotional health and healing. They make you feel unworthy of respect and recognition and worsen your obsession with your ex.
So if you want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible, start by getting out of panic mode and focus. Focus not on your ex, but on crafting a strategy that leaves your ex alone and gives her what she wants.
Luckily, there are already thousands of these ex-back strategies on the internet.
They’re called the no contact rule. Of course, don’t follow just any no contact rule because some of them are scams. Follow the strictest no contact rule called the indefinite no contact rule and all the rules of no contact that come with it.
If you avoid breakup mistakes and preserve your worth, there’s a chance that your ex will come back even if it seems hopeless right now.
I’m not saying this to give you false hope, but some dumpers treat their exes badly and still come back after a while. Such dumpers realize that they aren’t happy, so they lower their pride and come back to leech off their ex’s happiness.
I probably could have worded that better, but it’s the truth. Exes return because they realize their life with their ex was better than the life they lived apart from their ex.
Keep that in mind so that you remain strong in no contact and let your ex deal with her demons and discover your worth if she wants to. No one can predict whether your ex will fail badly without you, but if she does, rest assured that she’ll come back even if you did some pleading at first and tried to get back with her.
The topic of this post is how to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible. We’ll talk about the things that could hinder your ex’s return and things that could make your ex come back.
Things that could make getting back with your ex-girlfriend difficult
Before we talk about how to get back with your ex-girlfriend even if it seems impossible, we need to mention that certain things could complicate your ex’s return.
Those things are:
- disapproving friends and parents
- trust issues, commitment issues
- unresolved childhood issues
- avoidant attachment styles
- unhealthy thoughts and behavioral patterns
- poor emotional intelligence and a lack of ability to process resentments
- meeting someone who isn’t much better nor worse than you
- making a lot of post-breakup mistakes and getting back at your ex
If your ex-girlfriend is severely developed, she could basically self-sabotage her personal growth and develop herself into a person who thinks poorly of her exes. That would prevent her from regrowing respect for her exes (you) and ultimately, make getting back with her extremely difficult if not impossible.
So bear in mind that dumpers often have a low of issues they need to overcome before they can acknowledge their ex’s worth and seek that worth. They have to go through the breakup with the right kind of mentality and be open to changes and improvements.
How to get your ex-girlfriend back even if it seems impossible?
Getting a stubborn, unreceptive ex-girlfriend back is not easy because it’s not about you doing something to get her back. You already value her and want to be with her, which is why it’s about your ex and her feeling the same way about you. She has to be the one to discern your worth and ask to be a couple again.
If it’s the other way around (you asking your ex), your ex will never want to be with you. She won’t have a reason to because romantic interest and power will be critically imbalanced. They’ll be in such disharmony that you’ll desire your ex and she’ll feel repulsed by it.
The only way your ex will ever feel something for you is if she desires you as much (or preferably) more than you do.
So what does this tell you? If you’re having trouble figuring that out, it means that your ex mustn’t know you’re dying for her love and recognition. She mustn’t know you’d do anything to be with her because if she does, it will scare her, empower her in a bad way, and repulse her.
It will make her detach further, making it even harder for you to get close to her.
All your ex needs from you is some space so that she can see you won’t chase her (or continue to chase her if haven’t given up on getting back with her). When she notices that you respect yourself, she’ll begin to process the breakup and see that you love yourself enough not to settle for friendship or something you don’t want.
With your ex, it has to be all or nothing. If she can’t commit to you, she doesn’t deserve you and needs to leave you alone. The same goes for you. If you’re afraid of letting your ex go because your ex stopped caring and you’re afraid she’ll find someone else, you have to be brave and let go so you can find your own strength and independence.
It won’t be easy to walk away from your ex, but if you settle for friendship, you’ll have an even harder time getting out of the friend zone with your ex. You’ll most likely get stuck in it for months and keep hoping your ex will return and love you again.
Unfortunately, your ex probably won’t come back if you’re still around. Dumpers don’t just redevelop feelings for their ex through friendship. Not very often, anyway. Most exes who come back do so after meeting other people and rebounding/failing with them.
That’s when they come running back faster than a speeding bullet.
To get your ex-girlfriend back when it seems impossible, you, therefore, have to act as if it were impossible. You have to give your ex what she’s asking for (space and time) and allow her to see what life is like without you. If the relationship was toxic and she doesn’t regrow her love and respect for you, your ex likely won’t come back. She won’t need to because she’ll be fine on her own or with someone else.
But if she gets in trouble and suffers because of it, she could quickly improve her perceptions of you, let go of the past, breadcrumb you, and come back.
A lot can happen when your ex discerns your worth. But the main thing you can expect from your ex is for her to break no contact and reach out.
With that being said, here are 5 things to do if you’re wondering how to get your ex-girlfriend back when it seems impossible.
Respect yourself and stay in no contact forever
The most important thing to do when you’re dealing with a difficult breakup is to stop forcing things and let the breakup unfold naturally. Letting fate take care of the breakup is the best thing you can do because the breakup is no longer in your control.
You had control when you were still with your ex-girlfriend, but now that the breakup has happened, you lack the power and the ability to persuade your ex. If you try to persuade your ex to come back, you’ll only bring out your ex’s repressed anger or resentment and force her to associate even more negativity with you.
For your ex to come back, you have to remember that she needs time to process the breakup. She has to go through the dumper stages and figure out on her own whether the relationship was good for her.
If the breakup just happened, your ex won’t be able to see the good points of the relationship. She’ll be so focused on the things that weren’t working for her that she’ll make the whole relationship seem like a waste of time.
But if you distance yourself from your ex and let her wonder what you’re doing and where you’re at, she could slowly process the breakup and see you as the person you were before she painted a black picture of you.
This could, of course, take time, so let your ex be. Let her have so much space that she’ll wonder if she ever even meant anything to you.
I know this seems manipulative, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Think of it as a means of protecting your worth and easing your separation anxiety and fears.
When you leave your ex alone and enjoy your life without her, you’ll prove that you’ve got your life and emotions under control and that you’ll be just fine with or without your ex. Seeing that your self-esteem and confidence are above-average, your ex could secretly respect you for it.
She probably won’t tell you that she does, but she will because you’ll let her enjoy her post-breakup life the way she wants to enjoy it.
Give up on your ex and get over her
Giving up on your ex and getting over her serves two purposes.
- Firstly, it gives you your happiness back.
- And secondly, it makes your ex see that you don’t want her, which can, in turn, make her want you more as a result.
Bear in mind that your ex won’t become nostalgic and crave your attention the moment you get over her. That’s not how breakups work. She’ll miss you only when something or someone influences her and changes her opinion of you.
That’s when she’ll remember the good times she had with you and check up on you to see how you’re doing.
If she notices that you’re heartbroken and miserable, I can tell you that she won’t talk to you for long. She won’t have a reason to because you won’t impress her and be able to help her.
But if you’re doing really well and show her (not tell her) that you don’t need her because you’ve got plenty of other things and people in your life to entertain you, you could make her respect you and envy you.
Reconciliations require a lot of strength. Do your best to remain strong at all times so that you’re ready to deal with any unpredictable situations quickly, confidently, and painlessly. The more prepared you are for your ex’s breadcrumbs and the happier you are without her, the better you’ll handle your ex’s reach outs and the quicker you’ll heal.
That’s why it’s so, so, so important that you focus on getting over your ex. It will put you in a position of power if/when you finally hear from your ex, minimize the number of mistakes you make, and make you sound less desperate for reconciliation.
Confidence is what will pull your ex toward you whereas inviting your ex out, asking for closure/explanations, and prying into your ex’s life will repel your ex and cause you more unnecessary pain and suffering.
So if you want to know how to get your ex-girlfriend back if it seems impossible, my advice is to accept that you might never get back with your ex. Don’t just accept it, get over it too because when you do, you’ll be in the most attractive state you can be in.
In the state of not being emotionally dependent on your ex.
Invest in yourself rather than your ex
The purpose of no contact isn’t just to leave your ex alone. It’s also to improve your shortcomings and grow as a person. Doing that won’t necessarily make your ex realize what a dummy she was for leaving a guy capable of growing so much and so quickly. But it will make it possible for you to get along with your ex if she comes back in the future.
Investing in yourself will make your next relationship better (hopefully stronger) because you’ll know how to handle your emotions and understand your partner’s wants, needs, and triggers.
Don’t postpone self-growth until your ex comes back. You likely won’t grow much when she comes back because you’ll lose the incentive (anxiety) to grow. Instead of feeling anxious, you’ll feel happy and relieved—and will go through a brief love phase.
As you probably know, happiness doesn’t change people who need to change. It makes them stay as they are.
This means that your time to grow is now that you’re hurting and that your ex’s opportunity for growth will be later when she’s in pain and wants you back.
So for now, get your ex off your mind and focus solely on yourself. Identify your flaws and the things that need polishing. Do that not just until you’re satisfied with your improvements, but forever.
Personal growth is a lifelong process. If you give up on yourself at any point in time, you could put yourself on autopilot and get dumped again.
Let it be your ex’s idea to get back together
Breakups suck. They’re one of the hardest things people have to go through. But the reason they suck so much is that they’re completely out of your control. You’re used to having control in your life, but now that your ex is gone, you’ve lost power and authority and feel worse than ever.
If you want your ex to respect you and of course, to respect yourself, you must resist the temptation to rush your ex and learn to be patient. Patience is what no contact is all about as most of it consists of growing within and waiting for your ex to express a wish to bond with you.
So play your cards right from the beginning and wait. Your ex might not discern your worth and come back, but trust me that you won’t care about that much longer if you put yourself first and focus on learning and improving. If you do that, you’ll outgrow your ex and raise your dating standards so high up that you won’t need nor want to be with your ex anymore.
I know you don’t think that could happen right now, but give it some time.
No contact is powerful. It changes even those dumpees who suffer from extremely low self-esteem and a loss of direction. The only dumpees no contact doesn’t influence are those who refuse to follow its rules and try to prove to their ex that they have changed and that they can make their ex happy.
Such dumpees tend to waste their precious self-improvement time and more often than not repeat their mistakes in their next relationship
I hope that this article has shed some light on how to get your ex-girlfriend back when the odds are against you. You probably hoped that you could say or do something to win your ex back, but that’s not how breakups work.
There’s nothing to prove to a person who’d given up on you and went her own way. The only thing to do is to value yourself enough to know it’s time to call it quits.
Let me know what you think about “winning an ex back” in the comments below.
Furthermore, if this article didn’t answer your questions and you’d like to share your story with us, subscribe to personalized coaching here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.
All I have to say is wow. This article is so spot on. You are very wise. After reading this I was begging and pleading. It’s extremely hard but I will reread this. Your words are so empowering. We had a misunderstanding and said some things we didn’t mean. Nothing malicious or anything. We really never even argued to be honest. But that simple misunderstanding she said that she was done. It was just an honest mistake. But she gave up so easily after all i invested into the relationship and she really contributed nothing.
What really made me this was the point you made that, there is nothing to prove to someone who has given up on you.
Thanks for this article. Have no idea how helpful this was.
Hi Napoleon.
I’m glad you enjoyed the article.
She probably had doubts and was waiting for something to push her over the edge. Eventually, that something came in the form of a misunderstanding and made her give up. As you now know, you shouldn’t beg for anyone’s attention and forgiveness. A simple apology is all you should give. If it doesn’t change your partner’s mind, you should give her space and preserve your worth.
Kind regards,
Zan
You are wise beyond your years Zan and I just want to thank you for all your help. Your advice is spot on and even the ways you describe the other person feelings is completely accurate as well. I have never read someone who has so much understanding of relationships and breakups and then explains it all, including how you should act with perfect detail. I can’t thank you enough for being willing to share your knowledge! Thank you again Zan
Thank you, Wayne.
I love writing in-depth content the most. If I don’t explain things thoroughly, it leaves room for confusion and I feel a bit disappointed with myself.
Thanks for your kind words, Wayne!
Kind regards,
Zan
Doug , people think and deal
With emotions in strange ways . That shows immaturity in her behavior. I went through something similar recently , a year and a half after the breakup , I have been contacted this year 3 times and each time length of contact and romantic substance seemed to increase only to be ghosted out of the blue after 6 weeks of communication on the last contact . To say it’s puzzling would be the understatement of the century .
Sorry to hear that, Dan. I’m sure you had gotten your hopes up that you two could work it out. I definitely had hopes of making it work. But my girlfriend has emotional issues. I recognized that while in the relationship. But I didn’t think she’d resort to ghosting. So childish, cruel and cowardly.
One of the greatest things about reading Zan’s wisdom is watching his exponential growth as a writer over the years. I started reading his work in 2019. It was just after I got broken up with on Christmas Day, by text. My ex advised he was moving another woman he had met down to Tampa to live with him. He knew I had a daughter in junior high school—and that I had to keep a smile on my face that day. It was especially cruel. The right thing to do would’ve been not to date me in the first place, as his “real” relationship progressed to the living together stage—that obviously predated from way before I met him. So he was a cheater—so what. I even thanked him for his honesty like the low self esteem person I was lol. That was that.
Fast forward to 2020 when I met someone else. That relationship also ended when this new guy sent me a picture of himself in bed when I was out of town. It was obviously taken by someone else and meant for someone else. So I ended it. I contacted Zan personally to get some perspective on what seemed to be a pattern with me, why was I attracting men like this? I’m in my early 40s and the men I dated were early to mid 50s. Zan advised it was my low self esteem. My biggest fear I told Zan, was that I would have to put up with this kind of behavior or be alone. Zan advised it was because of the fact I didn’t set boundaries early on, and that I had continued to cultivate these men from the first red flag. Zan advised to show such men the door early on and keep looking, instead of remaining faithful until the time I would get screwed over by someone with no problem treating me like that.
Anyway, reading Zan’s work and watching his writing get even better, is life changing. I hope he continues his contributions for the betterment of humanity. He is truly a master at conveying emotions and how to deal with the bad things that people do to us, and helping up to grow strong!
By the way—Zan’s first language is Croatian I think. So he’s writing here in English. Can you imagine the genius of being able to write this complicated material in a language other than your native one? All I can say is keep teaching us Zan—thank you.
Hi Claire.
I hope you’ve been well since we last spoke.
Self-esteem is definitely something you needed to work on. But you must also remember that it wasn’t your fault you attracted the wrong kind of men. Sometimes you can’t control who you meet. It was, however, your fault that you stayed with guys who weren’t right for you. I think that self-esteem and hopeful thinking prevented you from leaving them.
Now that you know how important it is to set healthy boundaries right away, you’ll be able to get identify red flags quicker. Especially if you’ve worked on your self-esteem.
You’re a wonderful person, Claire. You’ll soon find someone with similar values who treats you well. My advice is not to rush things and to not overuse dating apps. Try to let guys come to you naturally.
Also, my first language is Slovenian, but Croatian is very similar.
Kind regards,
Zan
I heard on your article for how important is to follow the strictest no contact rule called the indefinite no contact rule. I was scared at once but then I was ready with your heels.
I’m so so grateful ❤️
Yes, Linda.
I know I talk about the indefinite no contact rule too much sometimes, but it really does help. If it doesn’t bring the dumper back, it brings your happiness and health back.
Kind regards,
Zan
I think this a very good article. Like Zan states, breakups are the worst. It has been over 18 months since I was dumped. I did not do any break up mistakes like begging or pleading. My ex came back and insisted we be friends even though he did not want a relationship. I was in the friend zone for awhile and then decided to just go no contact. I blocked his number and was fully recovered. I then unblocked him after four months and he weaseled his way back in again. Still the same b.s. I know have not blocked him, but have not returned his communications because I don’t see this going anywhere. I am not a kid, and neither is he. I am waiting for someone who wants me in their lives full time. Some days it is hard because he really is fun to hang out with or talk to, but I need better.
Great reminder Nicole- “I am not a kid, and neither is he. I am waiting for someone who wants me in their lives full time. Some days it is hard because he really is fun to hang out with or talk to, but I need better.” Needed to read this for myself today.
Hi Nicole.
You mustn’t let your ex get his way. Remember that he likes you as a person but not as a romantic partner. If you keep that in mind, you should be able to keep your distance and indirectly encourage him to pester someone else.
If you want to be more direct, however, you can just tell him that you need some time to yourself and that you’d appreciate it if he didn’t reach out anymore. That will forcefully keep him away and make you feel a lot better.
Kind regards,
Zan
So what this mean, on some way she attract her ex back or he decide to back with her and still she need to refuse. That mean that is impossible to be again in relationship when one person decide to cut bond or what?
Hi Nesh.
I’m not sure I understood you. Would you mind rewriting your question?
Thank you,
Zan
Here’s a situation I’d love to see more blogs address: What if you’ve gone No Contact, you’ve become your best self, you’ve done nothing to indicate desperation or pining or anything pathetic, and she’s not seeing anyone new, but she’s still just plain NOT INTERESTED?
Because it’s not witchcraft. No guarantees. Not by a long stretch. But it’s your best chance of getting her back if there’s still something there between you. If she’s decided that what you had was over, was a period in her life, and that she’s 100% ready for something new, there’s nothing you can do about it. So, at that point it’s time to look toward the future. Other, possibly better, things await you if you soldier on.
Hi Jaycie.
That would be that your ex is moving forward and hasn’t found a reason to reflect/love you again. You need to keep growing and leaving your ex behind. If you do everything right, you’ll outgrow your ex and won’t want her back much longer.
Best,
Zan
Can you write a full post on this topic? Most blog posts on “I’ve tried everything and (s)he’s still not coming back” assume you haven’t actually tried everything, namely going No Contact/leveling up. More people need to be warned that some exes are done no matter what, often for perfectly legitimate reasons.
Hi Jaycie.
I mention this all the time. Some dumpers can’t let go of resentments and learn to respect their exes again, so they never come back. But I suppose I could write a separate topic on this.
Thanks for the blog suggestion.
Best,
Zan
Hang on. There are plenty of reasons for a dumper to be done with a relationship that have nothing to do with resentment or a lack of respect. Sometimes it comes down to accepting fundamental incompatibilities, such as questions of religion or children or where to live. Sometimes it’s a complete dissipation of attraction. Sometimes an ex ends up finding their partner for life relatively soon after a breakup. It’s not healthy for a dumpee to believe that a dumper is staying away because of some emotional hangup. That just keeps the dumpee waiting for the dumper to get over themselves.
Hi Jaycie.
You’re right. It’s not always resentment that leads to the breakup. Sometimes there are other fundamental reasons. It’s just that in long-term relationships, it’s usually a lack of willpower, relationship skills, and the ability to cope with unwanted emotions that lead to detachment, and ultimately, the demise of the relationship.
Best regards,
Zan
My Girlfriend and I have just recently broken up again. She cheated on me about a month ago and I cut ties with her. A few days went by and I had not given her a chance to voice her problems with the relationship and I felt like I never got the closure I needed. We talked for hours about her needs and what led to her cheating etc. This huge break through moment practically convinced me that I could still be with her and she still had my best intentions and with communication we could repair what we once had, which was a very passionate deep love for only being a young relationship.
I told her that I didn’t mind her continuing to talk to other guys if she wanted to, AS LONG as I always came first. Well weeks later I began having the feeling that I was slowly sliding into 2nd place and was losing the closeness we once had. We had our heart to hearts a few more times before we basically decided it would be best if we just cut off the relationship. It was very mutual even though for me it was coming from a place of not wanting to be hurt and anxious anymore, and for her not wanting to be tied down anymore.
Within hours we were texting each other again about how hard the idea of non contact would be and despite our problems how difficult it would be to never see each other again. I flew home to visit my family for a few days and during this period it was obvious that she wanted contact with me again. She offered me rides to and from the airport, to watch my dog, etc and I took the bait.
Ive made some of the post break up mistakes by offering her assurance that we’d still keep what we had whether its friends or an opportunity to repair our broken relationship. She seemed interested but continues to put me in 2nd place. This is what lead me to Magnetofsuccess.com particularly the article about being hurt that your S.O. is already dating someone new.
Is it too late to initiate Indefinite no contact? I am confident that I am the best BF she has ever had and probably ever will have and time with others will only display that further (hence why I was ok with the open relationship in the first place). Its a scary thing initiate no contact especially when we have slid into this comfortable spot of not being together but still providing each other with physical and emotional support. Would love anybody’s feedback at this point. Just looking for perspective and reassurance.
This is a very unhealthy situation. She’s not ready for a serious long-term relationship. She wants her cake and to eat it too. You’re just going to get hurt in the end. And badly. Stay no contact – it’s never too late to start – and move on. You’ll find someone much better in time.
Hi Tyler.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
It’s never to look for indefinite no contact. You need to do what you initially wanted – to relieve your pain, fear, anxiety. You won’t be selfish, but self-caring. That’s why I encourage you to cut ties with her by saying something like, “On second thought, I think it’s best we get some space from each other. We both need to spend some time away from each other so we can process things and see things from a different perspective.
Your ex has lost feelings for you, Tyler, so don’t agree to friendship. She needs to know that you’re done being friendly with her.
Kind regards,
Zan
I had the strangest ‘break-up’ last time round. I had broken up with her then reached out in hopes of us both working on our shortcomings and getting back together. Thing seemed to be going quite well. Then one day she said she couldn’t go get lunch because she was sick. Then a couple of days later she said that she was too ill to be in a relationship. I freaked out thinking she was seriously ill. Our relationship was rocky, but I still cared for her enormously. After her text, I never heard from her again. It’s been six months. I sent plenty of texts and emails trying to get her to tell me what was wrong. I also tried to tell her how much she meant to me. No pleading or anything, but a number of texts over a few weeks. Three months ago I sent an email just saying if she has a change of heart, I’m here. Three months no contact. But it’s been six months since I was ghosted. I have no idea if she was actually ill. Probably not. No contact hasn’t seemed to have an effect. Just keeping busy, moving on with my life.
Hi Doug.
It’s unlikely that she’s “too sick to be in a relationship.” She just didn’t want to be in one, so she ghosted you to be able to do what she wants to do and handle her emotions better.
Stay in no contact for good now. No more checking up on her and wishing her well. It’s her turn to do that.
Best regards,
Zan
Zan, how disturbed is it to tell someone whom you know cares about you deeply that you’re seriously ill, rather than simply say I don’t think we’re right for each other? Am I mistaken in thinking that this reflects a great deal of emotional immaturity on her part? We were serious for a year. Just bizarre
Hi Doug.
People with a lot of hatred in their hearts tell their exes mean things. They feel extremely victimized, so they think they have the right to defend themselves. I’m with you on this one, Doug. Your ex definitely has a lot of maturing to do. If only she knew.
Best,
Zan
Astute observations, Zan, without ever having met her. She had a lot of hostility, unresolved trauma, ego, would suddenly become very angry with me, curse me, and I would have no clue what for (I’m a pretty easy going, nice guy – get along with almost everyone). It’s sad. We were great on many levels. But time to move on. I did my best.
Hi Doug.
She probably saw you were patient and forgiving and got angry with you because she knew she could get away with it. Think about her worst behavior when/if you’re struggling to cope.
Best regards,
Zan