There are many great methods to get back at your ex-girlfriend. But before we talk about those methods, you need to understand that most of those methods have very little (if anything) to do with your ex.
They have everything to do with you because they enrich your life and in the process, also maximize the chances of affecting your ex once life gives her lemons and forces her to check up on you and covet what you have.
If you want to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend for making a fool out of you, bear in mind that the best revenge in life is massive success. If you succeed in life and genuinely become happy, that on its own is the most satisfying revenge you can get.
Why?
Because you’ll demonstrate that despite her losing respect for you, treating you poorly, and wanting you to fail, you still managed to pick yourself up and achieve things she could only dream of. So forget about doing something to hurt your ex-girlfriend directly.
I’m sure you can think of hundreds if not thousands of vicious deeds that will show your ex who’s boss and give you immediate justice. You can probably get revenge from the comfort of your home on your phone or computer.
But that’s not what life is about. It’s not about bringing your ex to her knees and making her regret doublecrossing you. That kind of revenge will likely destroy your reputation and end up hurting you more than your ex-girlfriend.
The best way to get revenge on a cheating, lying, ghosting, and downright cruel ex-girlfriend is to not be like her. You heard it right. Controlling your fury won’t hurt her back, but it will help you gain control over your anger and allow you to deal with similar emotions better in the future.
If you ask me, that is a form of revenge because you’ll learn from your ex and become a better version of yourself. You’ll improve even though your ex is no longer a part of your life.
Do you even know how many couples argue because they’re angry with each other? I’m willing to bet that more than half of you reading this reacted angrily to relationship arguments and handled them poorly at times. Instead of controlling yourselves and suggesting healthy remedies, you let your partners bring out the worst in you and made things worse.
That’s why your ex’s betrayal has a silver lining to it. If you don’t react to it by controlling your thoughts and emotions, it will transform you into a person with a high level of emotional maturity and make your next relationships much better because of it.
So is it really worth getting back at your ex for the things she did to you?
It probably feels that it is right now because you don’t care about the future. You’re enraged and want your ex to feel the pain she’s making you feel. You probably want her to feel worse—and that’s understandable.
But if you do your best to ignore your emotions for a minute and look at the big picture, you’ll see that the lesson she’s forcing on you is priceless.
I’m not even exaggerating. One of the hardest things in life is to control emotions. And when someone forces you to control them, that person indirectly helps you in one of the strangest, yet best ways.
So don’t think that the anger you feel needs to be justified with revenge. It just needs to be transformed into healthier emotions that will soon enable you to live peacefully and have loving relationships with yourself and others.
The purpose of this post is to dissuade you from getting revenge on your ex in some sick way and to show you that there are way better ways to get revenge. You can get revenge without causing pain to your ex. At least not on purpose.
When is it possible to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend?
Before you can get revenge on your ex-girlfriend, your ex must meet 1 out of 5 conditions.
She must:
- Care about you.
- Desire you.
- Be in competition with you.
- Want something only you can give.
- Or do poorly in areas of life that you succeed in.
As long as your ex sees that she’s not as happy as she could be or was in the past, your ex can get hurt and regret some of her actions. She can even become nostalgic and miss you.
Your ex, can’t, however, regret her actions and get hit by karma if you take revenge by:
- posting your ex online
- trastalking her on social media
- telling your friends what a bad girlfriend she was
- sharing her secrets
- and telling her new boyfriend not to date her
If you do these things, you’re only going to show how low you’re prepared to sink to ruin your ex’s life.
So instead of hurting your ex and yourself, bear in mind that you’ll get true revenge only if you don’t meddle with your ex’s life anymore and leave her alone. That’s the only way you’ll prove that you’re no longer thinking about her and that you’ve got more productive things going on in your life.
With that said, let’s now talk about how to get back at your ex-girlfriend for mistreating you and hurting you.
1)Become ambitious at work
One of the best ways to get back at your ex-girlfriend for taking you for granted is to enjoy your work. This may seem unimportant, but work occupies your mind for at least a quarter of your life. It’s what you get up for in the morning and what puts food on your table.
If you wake up tired every morning because you have to leave for work, that won’t impress your ex nor anyone who knows you. Instead, it will make you very unhappy. So much so that you’ll leave a trail of unhappiness behind you wherever you go and infect others.
So if you’re eager to prove your ex-girlfriend wrong, do it by going back to school, getting a job you like, or excelling at work. You don’t have to be the best of your colleagues, but you certainly have to be passionate about it.
When you’re passionate, you’ll lose track of time and be home before you know it. And if you really like what you do, you’ll also ponder about your next exciting project before you drift off.
This is one of the most important things you can do. I know it’s hard to be excited about your job if you don’t like what you do. But know that you don’t have to stay where you are now if you aren’t happy and can’t grow at your job.
Committing to a job that stresses you and makes you miserable is like committing to a toxic relationship. It’s a recipe for disaster because it will waste at least 8 hours of your life a day and likely bring that unhappiness to your home.
As they say, work changes you. So make sure your work is healthy and that it changes you in a good way.
When you live with purpose, you’ll show your ex that you’re set on contributing to the world and prove that you’re a highly-valued individual who enjoys what he does for a living.
According to various surveys I found on Google, you would be in the top 20% of all people who actually love what they do. Wouldn’t you agree that a person like that is rare and highly desirable?
I can tell you that passion is what most ambitious employers look for. If you have the passion to make a difference, you’ll have an advantage over other applicants or start your own successful business.
According to Earl Nightingale, my favorite author on character development, the reason why most people fail is because don’t know what they want. Or if they do know what they want, they don’t want it badly enough, so they just wait for something good to happen to them and waste their time.
Such people don’t find a lot of success in their professional and personal life. They tend to stagnate through life and let more ambitious people replace or overtake them.
I encourage you to listen to the audiobook called Lead the Field by the abovementioned author. This audiobook is the reason why I’m passionate about what I do.
The link is an affiliate and points to Amazon. You can listen to it for free with Audible trial.
2)Get to know yourself and get over your ex
If you’re trying to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend, your ex-girlfriend has clearly hurt you very badly. She used you, abused you, disrespected you, took you for granted, or all these things combined and triggered your self-defense mechanism, which is to get revenge.
With revenge, you intend to get even and make yourself feel better.
But that’s not all. There’s another reason why you want revenge. And that reason isn’t about your ex’s poor behavior and attitude. It’s about your emotional health, perceptions and expectations, understanding of injustice, and the way you tend to respond to difficult emotions such as anxiety, depression, fear, and fury.
If you don’t understand where your anger comes from and lack control over your emotions, you’ll have a very difficult time letting your ex’s betrayal slide. You won’t consider your ex’s attitude as something she badly needs to work on, but rather as her directly attacking you and trying to hurt you.
When you think that your ex is at war with you, you’re almost certainly going to go to war with her and fight ugly with her. Before that happens, you need to remind yourself that it’s not worth reducing yourself to your ex’s level.
Fighting her head-on won’t make you win the post-breakup battle nor make you feel any better. It’ll just prove that you like to fight fire with fire—which will then delay your healing and prevent you from growing as a person.
As I mentioned many times before in other posts, the breakup is an opportunity for you to become a better person. Don’t waste it by taking revenge and becoming someone who easily loses control over his actions.
Try to become happy instead. Do the things you like—and you’ll soon forgive your ex for hurting you and move on knowing that not taking revenge was the right thing to do.
So if you’re trying to get revenge on your ex, do it indirectly. Get to know who you are, develop self-control, improve your flaws, and let go of any resentment towards your ex. Doing so will prove that you’re a strong rational individual who turns the other cheek and rises higher from difficult situations.
Your ex can feel angry and victimized if she wants to. That doesn’t mean you have to do the same. You can be smarter than her and in control of your actions. Isn’t that what you’re trying to prove?
3)Become more social
If you want to know how to get back at your ex-girlfriend, you mustn’t skip this part. Becoming more social is extremely important because it will boost your confidence, self-esteem, immune system, and happiness.
It will enable you to surround yourself with people who are into the same things as you and allow you to grow with them.
Make sure to find people who contribute to your growth though. If you just find a bunch of drinking buddies, they won’t let you grow with them. On the contrary, they’ll likely drag you down with them and ruin the whole point of being social.
People thrive when they’re around other like-minded people. Others give us meaning and encourage us to chase our dreams. Especially friends because they have our best interests at heart.
So if you want to transform yourself as much as possible, show your ex that you’re leaving your old life behind. Do that by meeting a lot of new people, making new friends, and being social.
If you’re an introvert like me, you don’t need to be in the center of attention. But you should still get out of your comfort zone and expand your social circle. Your ex could respect you for it, but try to do it for yourself rather than her.
4)Date someone better than your ex
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should date someone new just because you want your ex to be jealous of you and regret dumping you. Your ex won’t be jealous if there’s nothing to be jealous of.
She’ll get jealous only if (1) you’re a decent guy and (2) she can’t find someone to date long-term. That could make her covet your stability whereas rubbing your new relationship in your ex’s face and making snarky remarks on Facebook is going to make her lose remaining respect for you.
Your ex will be certain you still haven’t moved on as she’ll see that you’re dying for a reaction from her and that you wouldn’t need a reaction if you were truly happy with your new partner and with life in general.
People who have things to prove to their ex are far from being free from their ex. They may not have romantic feelings for their ex, but they still think about their ex a lot and let their ex influence their feelings.
This is why it’s important that you don’t play jealousy games and other mind games with your ex. If you try, your ex likely won’t take the bait. She’ll just see that you’re miserable and tethered to the past, which will, in turn, make her pity you.
So let me ask you this. Do you want to be pitied by your ex? Do you want her to tell everyone she knows that you’re dating someone just to be loved and prove you can find a person to date?
You probably don’t.
That’s why you must date someone else only when you got over your ex, developed yourself, dealt with your fears and insecurities, and became ready to date someone because you’re ready to contribute to that person’s life.
You’ll know you’re ready to date when you’re no longer hurting over the breakup and feel satisfied with your life again. That’s when you’ll be able to attract like-minded individuals who are similar to you behavior-wise and want the same things in life.
When you’re finally emotionally ready for a relationship, you’ll no longer want to get back at your ex and see her react strongly to you. You’ll just focus on finding someone better and enjoy your time with that person.
That will put you in the strongest position you can be in. Not only will it show that you’ve chosen a person to date carefully this time, but it will also show that she’s a great person who makes you happier than your ex-girlfriend.
The idea is to take your time to heal and improve so you can find a person who is a big upgrade to your ex, makes you happier, and brings safety and stability to your life.
If you can find a woman like that, you’ll get your revenge. Your revenge will be that you’ll have learned from your mistakes, grown as a person, become emotionally stronger, and found someone who can give you what your ex wouldn’t or couldn’t.
5)Ignore provocations and kill your ex with kindness
If your ex is severely underdeveloped, your ex could try hard to bring you down. She could spread rumors about you, refuse to give you your stuff back, play jealousy games, post happy quotes on social media, and do anything to hurt you and bring a reaction out of you.
To handle the breakup maturely and show her you don’t care about her anymore, you mustn’t react to your ex’s provocations. You must instead be a good human being and refuse to give her what she wants.
By doing so, you’ll prove that you’re emotionally stronger and more mature than your ex and that she no longer controls how you think, feel, and act.
Now that you’re no longer a couple, she’s no longer important to you and a part of your life. And she needs to realize that so that she goes away in peace.
The reason why being kind to your ex and making her go away in peace is one of the best ways to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend is that you won’t teach your ex any lessons. You won’t make her life miserable, which will in turn, make her carry on with the same behavioral patterns and maturity as before.
This means that she’ll soon treat someone else the same way she treated you and possibly bring out the worst in him. That’s when she’ll get hurt and may or may not finally learn her lesson.
So really, one of the best ways to get revenge on an ex who cheated on you or did something horrible to you is to step away peacefully. Show her you don’t need her—and by doing so, encourage her to remain exactly as she is .
If you do that, it’s only a matter of time before her old habits anger someone less patient than you and cause him to react with fury and destruction.
I hope you’ve learned how to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend. Let me know what you think the best revenge is by commenting below.
Moreover, if you need help processing your breakup and controlling your impulses, sign up for coaching here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.
Always having the best advice from you 🙂
I’m so lucky to have one on one session with you, Zan
Thank you ❤️
Always happy to hear from you, Linda.
I hope things are going well!
Best regards,
Zan