How To Forget About Your Ex And Be Happy Again?

If you want to forget about your ex and be happy again, know that moving on from your ex could take a lot of time. I can’t say exactly how long it will take because everyone processes emotional pain differently, but one thing is for certain.

The speed at which you’ll recover will depend on two main factors.

1. On how you think of yourself.
2. And on what you’re doing after the breakup.

If you’re talking to your ex all the time and you’re desperately trying to get back with your ex, you obviously won’t get over your ex very quickly. Your ex will unknowingly and unintentionally continue to give you false hope and constantly pull you in and push you away.

This hot and cold treatment will subsequently toss you back and forth with your ex and hurt you in the process. Your ex will do this until you either get used to being treated like a friend or until you pull away and start following the indefinite no contact rule.

Which path you take is up to you. But if you respect yourself and want the best for yourself, you’ll agree with me that talking to your ex after the breakup is opening your wounds and stringing you along.

It’s making you desperate for recognition.

So make sure to take your focus off your ex as soon as your ex breaks up with you. It may not be something you want to do because you’re hurting, but it will help you forget your ex.

This post is written for dumpees who are wondering, “How to forget your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend and move on without regret.”

How to forget about your ex?

If you want to forget an ex who dumped you and be free of stress, start by getting rid of unhealthy reminders of your ex that make you feel nostalgic. This includes photos, jewelry, letters, perfumes, souvenirs, and everything that connects you to your ex.

There is simply no use in holding on to sentimental gifts. Especially not if they make you take a trip down memory lane and hurt you. You’re far better off putting such items out of sight and stopping yourself from thinking about your ex.

Once you’ve made your home free of unhealthy reminders, make sure to also unfollow your ex on social media. Delete your ex’s pictures and make your social media only about you and your friends.

However, if that doesn’t help much because you keep checking up on your ex, then you’ll probably need to take a different approach. You’ll need to delete your online accounts and by doing so, force-stop yourself from analyzing your ex’s actions.

Feel free to also delete your ex’s phone number as you don’t want to drunk-dial your ex when you’re having a difficult time moving on. You want your friends and family to be your shoulder to lean on. Not your ex.

These are just the basics. You can learn more about the rules of no contact here.

As you stay in no contact, you’ll often feel tempted to break it. You’ll feel a strong force pulling you toward your ex, telling you to message your ex. Whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, it’s important that you don’t message your ex.

If your ex is the dumpee, your ex needs to heal from the breakup and move on. And if your ex is the dumper, he or she either doesn’t want to talk to you (needs space) or doesn’t want to get back with you.

Either way, it’s your responsibility to find out how to forget about your ex as your ex most likely won’t voluntarily help you. And even if he or she does, there’s not much your ex can do about it.

Your ex could tell you that it’s not your fault and that you’re a great person, but all in all, getting over an ex is a journey that doesn’t include your ex. The point is to forget about your ex, after all.

So instead of leaning on your ex for support, talk to your friends, family, or a mental health expert. They will help you overcome grief

Here’s how to forget an ex who dumped you.

Why can’t I forget my ex?

When we do a task well, our brains immediately release chemicals (happy hormones) and reward us for a job well done. But when we make a mistake and visualize the consequences of our actions, our brains do exactly the opposite.

They punish us by triggering our longing for happiness and cause us to feel a variety of negative emotions. Emotions such as fear, regret, loneliness, and most importantly, sadness.

The reason why sadness stands out is that when you’re hurt, sad, or depressed, you immediately want to stop hurting and feel better. You want to get well, so you instinctually look for solutions to your problems.

Now, when you’re happy, you don’t necessarily have anything to compare your happiness to. You’re already happy, so you just continue to focus on the present.

But with sadness, that is not the case. Focusing on the present is painful, so you tend to remember the times when you were happy, and as a result, crave that happiness from the past.

This, of course, makes you feel extremely nostalgic as you remember that your ex made you happy at times.

So if you’re still wondering why you’re having a difficult time forgetting your ex, the truth is that you’re comparing the past to the present. You’re not happy or detached yet, so you keep wishing you were.

I’d like to point out that nostalgia can be extremely deceiving at times as it can make average memories appear better than they actually were.

How to forget an ex who has moved on?

To forget an ex who has moved on, you have to understand a few things.

Firstly, you have to understand that it’s normal for dumpers to be over their dumpees the second they pull the plug on them. They normally think about leaving their exes for weeks before they actually do it.

When they finally muster up the courage to leave, weight is quickly lifted off their shoulders, making them unrecognizable to others.

Many dumpers start going out a lot and turn into party people while others, feel sad and guilty for breaking their partner’s heart.

Everyone reacts differently to smothering emotions. But how people react usually depends on their moral values. The better the values and the more they care about others, the more regretful they appear.

At the end of the day, sympathetic dumpers may indeed help you move on, but the speed at which you forget an ex who’s moved on is still in direct proportion to your self-esteem and personal power.

If you’ve worked on your self-esteem and ambitions and established healthy relationships with friends and family prior to the breakup, you’ll suffer significantly less than someone who hasn’t. You’ll still be in pain because breakups hurt like hell, but you won’t feel like the world is ending.

You’ll know you’ll be alright.

So if you’re thinking about how to forget an ex who has moved on, my advice is to not take the breakup personally. Yes, your ex has left because of your imperfections. But your imperfections most likely aren’t as big as you think.

It’s highly likely that your ex just made them look bigger by breaking up with you and hurting your self-esteem.

Bear in mind that your ex’s lack of love doesn’t necessarily have to be your fault. Sure, you’ve made some mistakes throughout the relationship, but don’t we all? As far as I’m concerned everyone does, so don’t beat yourself up for saying or doing something you shouldn’t have.

You especially shouldn’t blame yourself if your ex fell in love with someone new and left you for that person. In that case, it’s not you who caused the breakup, but rather your ex’s inadequate relationship mentality.

Your ex stopped valuing you because his or her ways of thinking weren’t good enough for a healthy relationship to carry on. So convince yourself that you’ve done everything in your power to love your ex and that your ex took you for granted despite your best efforts.

5 ways to forget about your ex

As you know, forgetting about an ex takes time, effort, and strength. Here are a few things you can do if you want to forget your ex as quickly as possible.

1)Forget your ex by getting busy

Every person needs to have interests or ambitions that serve others. Of course, you don’t need to start your own charity, but as long as you focus on the happiness of others, your happiness will soon return.

It is by giving that we receive the most.

If you don’t know how to help people, join our Magnet of Success Discord server. There you’ll find many people you could help and get helped by. I encourage you to join.

Getting plenty of daily exercise will also help you forget your ex. It will fill up your brain with happy hormones and release your anxiety. Make sure you get at least 30 minutes of moderate daily activity.

You can do anything from jogging, cycling, hitting the gym, or doing pushups at home. Possibilities are nearly endless.

2)Meet new people and hang out with friends and family

If there’s one thing that can keep your mind off your ex, it’s got to friends and family. They are the ones who will keep you busy.

As long as you’re using your brain to think about something other than your ex, rest assured that you’re doing yourself a service. You’re actively working on distracting yourself and being happy.

And that’s exatly what you need to forget your ex.

You need to be happy so that you can think only about yourself for a little while. During that “self-centered” time is when your mind accomplishes the most as it detaches from your ex and forms new healthier, non-obsessive habits.

3)Resist the urge to reminisce about your ex

If you’re in no contact, you’ll likely have many ups and downs. You’ll have semi-detached days when you feel good and setback days when you suffer.

It’s extremely important that you familiarize yourself with the 3 painful stages of no contact so that you know what personal difficulties you can expect on your journey to recovery.

We won’t talk about all the post-breakup difficulties today, but some of the typical problems you can expect to find are emotional knockbacks.

When you encounter these knockbacks or setbacks, you will likely feel depressed and very nostalgic. You’ll want to contact your ex and apologize or beg for another chance.

When/if that happens, remember that just because you’re feeling sentimental, doesn’t mean your ex does as well. The law of attraction doesn’t work that way.

So keep your sentiments to yourself.

4)Don’t blame yourself

Self-blame certainly can’t help you forget about your ex either. If anything, it just keeps you in the past and makes you susceptible to stress and depression.

If you’re serious about moving on from your ex, you’ll need a much stronger mindset. A mindset that encourages you to accept your mistakes and enables you to self-prioritize.

5)Date someone new

Please be careful with this advice!

If you get involved with someone new too quickly, you’ll most likely rebound with him or her and suffer more than you can imagine.

You’ll probably end up getting even more depressed. So just don’t do it. Don’t start dating another person if you’re still hurting over your ex. Focus on healing instead!

But, if it’s been a long time since your ex had left and you still think about your ex, then dating someone new can help you leave your ex behind. If you’re 95% over your ex, it can take your mind off your ex and allow you to open your heart to someone new.

It can give you a new beginning.

But again, don’t do this unless you feel ready! You should only date someone new to move on with your life. Not to get over your ex.

How to forget your ex-songs, likes, places, friends…?

The best way to forget your ex songs and everything you associate with your ex is to stop negatively empowering them every time they pop up on your mind.

Whenever a song you recognize comes up on the radio, simply acknowledge it. Refuse to give a negative meaning to the thoughts and feelings the song creates and just dismiss it.

Do so by telling yourself that it’s okay to be reminded of your ex because you used to spend a lot of time with your ex. You used to be close, but now that you’re not, you must move forward with the reminders that you occasionally get.

You’ll probably struggle for a little while, but it’ll get a lot easier with time as you detach. No contact and self-focus will make sure of it. They will gradually and steadily take your reconciliation hope away and eventually make you immune to nostalgia.

Just be patient and have faith. Your sentimentality will soon wane. And when it does, so will your ex-dreams and the weight they carry behind them.

Here are 4 quick tips on how to forget your ex-songs, memories, dreams, and reminders.

1. Understand that they occur because you’re hurt or recently got hurt. They’re still on your conscious, so they need more time to process.
2. Refuse to give meaning to them and brush them off whenever they appear. The less you react to them, the quicker they will disappear.
3. Accept any and all reminders and send positive emotions their way. Convince yourself that you feel yourself healing and getting stronger.
4. Once you get the hang of it and you think of your ex, distract yourself with something that requires your immediate attention.

Did you learn how to forget about your ex? Do you have any tips for people reading this? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.