The First Text After The No Contact Rule

First of all, you’re badly mistaken if you think that the first text after the no contact rule is yours to send.

I know some people say it is, but those are generally the people that care more about your money than they do about your health.

The 60, 45, or 30-day no contact rule is an absolute bogus and will manifest additional heartbreak and disappointment if you attempt it.

You must understand that your ex most likely won’t be ready to talk to you after such a short period of silence.

He or she likely needs months and not days of alone time. So try not to sabotage your chances and your health—and stay in no contact.

If you don’t and your ex rejects you, you will sink so low the second time that you’ll undoubtedly regret reaching out and extorting validation from your ex.

Your ex’s lack of love will hurt you again—forcing you to regress badly. And as a result, it will take you up to a few weeks of time to get back on track with your healing progress.

So avoid reaching out to your ex first no matter how much you crave your ex’s attention. It won’t ever work if you try.

Even if your actions are genuine and you merely want your ex to talk to you in a friendly manner, you can’t force your ex to be ready before he or she is actually ready.

You can’t do it no matter how good you are at influencing, persuading, and enticing. So let your ex get back to you on his or her own terms and send you the first text after the no contact rule.

And when he or she does, you will respond appropriately based on what your ex says, wants, or needs.

In this article, we’ll talk about the first text after the no contact rule and go into more detail about how you can respond in a nice manner without pushing your ex away.

The first text after the no contact rule

The first text after the no contact rule will likely be difficult to interpret and respond to because of your overwhelming anxiety.

But despite feeling nervous due to the fear of your ex that you develop in no contact, you mustn’t lose your emotional control and do something your ex isn’t prepared to see or hear.

You will probably shake and sweat like you’re on fire, but don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

If you let them control you, your ex will notice your weakened mental state and realize you’re unbelievably nervous and insecure.

And that’s just not something your ex will find appealing. Especially not now that your value has plummeted so low.

So do your best not to let your ex know that you’ve been dying for his or her text.

Instead, show that your ex’s first text after no contact doesn’t bother you one bit.

When you portray secure, alpha traits, your ex will no longer feel threatened by your post-breakup mistakes and might want to converse with you on equal terms.

He or she could think of you as an equal—a person of self-respect and value and might perceive you in a non-threatening way.

Depending on what your ex’s goal is, your ex might, of course, only breadcrumb you, check up on you, or attempt to alleviate his or her guilt.

But whatever your ex’s intentions are, there’s a good, a bad, and a horrible way to reply to your ex’s first text after the no contact rule.

That’s why you must respond to your ex in a way that doesn’t make your ex regret contacting you.

Sounds simple, right?

The first text after no contact rule matters a lot!

It takes some dumpees months and others years to receive the first message from their ex.

But 90% of them will at some point hear from their ex again. And they won’t see it coming when they do.

They will suddenly experience anxiety like on the day of the breakup.

Or perhaps slightly less (depending on how long it’s been since the breakup).

But almost all dumpees will undoubtedly experience some sort of dissatisfaction when they hear from their ex.

Due to their high expectations after the first text, dumpees often switch to their anxiety mode in which they overanalyze every syllable of the text.

They go borderline insane by trying to understand what their ex feels internally and what the dumper intends to do with them.

But to no avail, they can’t figure it out no matter how long they’d known their ex for. They just can’t read their ex’s mind.

So if that happens to you as well, do your best not to obsess as it’s only going to make your situation worse.

As a matter of fact, overanalyzing your ex is going to make you sick to the stomach and cause you to lose your appetite and sleep.

It could cause you extreme obsession over your ex and/or over his or her new partner.

So try not to develop an ex-obsession by practicing various relaxation techniques.

Here are a few chronological rules to follow when your ex sends you the first text after the no contact rule.

Be the best person you can be

When your ex texts you out of the blue and you don’t know whether you should wait, ignore, or seenzone your ex’s message, rely on your core values for guidance.

In other words, do what you would do if you were the kindest and at the same time the most confident person in the world.

You really can’t go wrong by saying and doing what emotionally mature people do.

So don’t listen to anyone who tells you to act dishonestly. They are typically the people who don’t care about anyone but themselves.

And if you need some time to decide what to say to your ex after no contact, that’s completely fine.

Taking a minute or two to think about how you want to reply isn’t ignoring, nor is it dishonest.

You have every right to ponder before you come up with a response and hit the send button.

Just make sure that what you’re going to say is respectful and confident.

You’re not going to make your ex lose his or her respect for you if you treat him or her well.

And you’re certainly not going to push your ex away.

You can only do that if you show a lack of respect for yourself as well as toward your ex.

This includes:

• begging and pleading
• getting angry
• crying hysterically
• ignoring
• appearing pretentious
• lying and deceiving

Examples of the first text after the no contact rule

We could include hundreds of examples of the first text after the no contact rule.

But we’re only going to mention just the most common ones today.

Here are 10 examples:

1. Hey!
2. Sup?
3. How are you?
4. Have you seen my toothbrush?
5. Hey, what’s my Netflix password?
6. Hi, I just wanted to check up on you.
7. Do you want your microwave back?
8. Do you still have the books I gave you a while back?
9. How’s the dog doing?
10. Can you fix my computer?

The dumper’s first text after the no contact rule is usually a funny quote, a random picture, an unimportant question, or a silly remark.

That’s why you shouldn’t take your ex’s outreach literally when he or she is trying desperately to break the ice.

Don’t judge or question your ex either.

Try to understand your ex’s real motive instead and listen to what your ex has to say.

You don’t need to plat detective. Just pay attention and help him or her feel comfortable.

How do you respond when your ex reaches out

There’s no right or wrong way to reply to your ex’s first text after no contact.

Unless you say something that offends your ex or pushes him or her away, your response won’t make your ex lose respect for you.

It can’t when you act like a respectable human being.

So reply in a way that reflects your best personality traits and show your ex that you’ve improved.

Here are some examples of how you can reply to the first text after the no contact rule.

They are the replies to when your ex reaches out.

1. Hi.
2. Sup?
3. I’m good. How are you?
4. I haven’t seen it anywhere.
5. Your password is XYZ.
6. Hi. I’m doing good. Thanks.
7. That would be great. Drop it off at my parents’ place, please.
8. I don’t have your books anymore. Sorry.
9. The dog is doing fine.
10. I’m a bit busy this week. I can have a look on Saturday.

As you can see, replying to your ex’s first text is no rocket science.

Only your anxious brain makes it seem that it is.

So whenever your ex breaks the no contact rule and messages you first, make sure you wait a few minutes to collect your thoughts.

Your ex wants something from you

You must remember that your ex’s first outreach has a purpose.

It could mean that your ex is guilt-ridden and wants to apologize to you for his or her unfair treatment.

Or perhaps your ex just wants to check up on you and see how you’re coping without him or her.

Whatever your ex’s goal is, it might be in your best interest to provide your ex with what he or she is after.

So if it’s guilt your ex is trying to alleviate, take your ex’s guilt away. If it’s validation your ex seeks, give him or her a healthy amount.

Don’t shower your ex with needy comments, of course, but do show your ex that you’re still the best person around.

Moreover, if your ex is looking for a favor that you’re okay helping with, assist him or her with that too.

Your ex is aware of the fact that you’re his or her ex who got rejected.

But what your ex likely doesn’t realize is that if he or she feels good about himself or herself and toward you, he or she could develop feelings for you again.

Your ex just has to get rid of the negative associations toward you and continue talking to you on a frequent basis.

So don’t think that your ex will friendzone you or think less of you if you take your ex’s fears, anxiety, doubts, guilt, and bad feelings away.

Contrarily, your ex will probably feel more positive feelings toward you and coincidentally be happier around you.

And when he or she is happy, relaxed, and having a good time with you, your ex will likely want to spend more of his or her time around you.

What do I do when I get the first text from my ex?

Depending on what your ex says and does, you either do nothing or something.

If your ex tells you that he or she enjoys your company, say you enjoy his or her company too.

And once you’ve said that, wait for your ex to take the lead.

Don’t make a fool of yourself by inviting your ex out. It’s probably too soon for that unless your ex expresses the wish or shows signs to go out with you.

So wait and be patient.

When your ex wants to see you, talk to you, or do anything at all with you, your ex will open up the topic.

He or she will hint it or say it directly, so you don’t need to play the guessing game.

Not when your ex is decisive and knows what he or she wants.

However, if your ex reaches out for little to no reason at all and doesn’t show any signs of interest, you don’t have a choice but to go back to no contact.

Your ex is only sending you breadcrumbs and isn’t open to communication yet.

And that’s why he or she needs more time to find a reason to converse with you.

So “wait” for him or her to find it.

If your ex never reaches out

Consider yourself lucky if your ex never reaches out to you.

Sure, you may never reconcile with your ex, but your ex will nonetheless make your recovery easier for you.

You basically get to avoid your ex’s wishy-washy post-breakup behavior, dodge breadcrumbs, and learn how to love yourself properly.

When your ex never reaches out and sends you the first text, you’re given a golden opportunity to heal and recover without any false hope and anxiety.

Your breakup recovery simply keeps getting better one day at a time, whereas your ex texting you can string you along and keep your wound open for months.

So if your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, husband or wife never talks to you after the breakup, cut your losses and “thank your ex” for leaving you alone.

You’ll be able to get over your ex and connect to someone else much quicker.

Are you still thinking of sending your ex the first text after the no contact rule or are you going to do what’s best for you and wait for your ex to text you first? Let me know what you intend to do in the comments section below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.