Why Would My Ex Unblock Me?

If your dumper ex unblocked you sometime after the breakup, you’re probably wondering why he or she did that. You want to know who or what changed your ex’s thinking and made your ex unblock you all of a sudden.

Although every dumper’s reason for unblocking is different, the most common reason for unblocking is guilt. Dumpers tend to cool off after a while and see that they blocked their ex on impulse. They felt smothered, pressured, angry, or judged and decided to stop interacting with their ex to prioritize their emotions and well-being.

They felt they had no choice but to push their ex out of their life and focus on things and people that made them respected, happy, and free.

When they get their freedom and enjoy it for a while, they don’t always keep their ex blocked. Oftentimes, they unblock their ex because they process their pent-up frustrations and start feeling bad for mistreating their ex.

They begin to feel bad for cutting their ex off, focusing on themselves, and ignoring their ex’s (hurt) feelings.

Sometimes they unblock and reach out—and other times they just unblock and keep their distance. What they do depends on what they want or need from their ex.

If they just want to do the morally right thing and clear their guilty conscience, they unblock their ex and leave it at that. They don’t see the need to converse and give their ex unnecessary hope.

However, if they need forgiveness, they tend to reach out and engage in conversation with their ex. Usually, they talk about random things and catch up. Rarely do they directly apologize and ask for leniency and support.

When they do apologize and appear anxious and remorseful, they usually do so because they want their ex back. That’s proof that something went bad for them and made them realize their ex’s worth.

So keep in mind that an ex would unblock you when he or she feels a desire or need to unblock you. Desire may stem from feelings of guilt, shame, or curiosity, while need might be driven by pain, regret, sorrow, or depression.

If you want your ex to come back, you want your ex to need you back. You want every fiber of his or her being to compel your ex to gravitate toward you and fix the mess he or she has made.

Unblocking on its own sadly doesn’t do that. It doesn’t prove that your ex regrets leaving and feels a sense of urgency to come back before you’ve moved on and met someone new. All unblocking does is show that your ex has cooled off and realized that he or she went too far.

It shows that your ex should have handled breakup emotions maturely instead of avoiding them and blaming you for them.

Therefore, blocking is a sign of unhappiness whereas unblocking is a sign of the end of that unhappiness. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your ex is happy to talk or be with you but that your ex no longer feels the need to protect himself or herself from you.

Now that some time has passed and you haven’t done anything to put your ex in a tight spot, your ex feels safe and ready to do the right thing, which is to unblock you.

I can’t say if your ex wants you back, but you’ll find out soon. If your ex needs love from you, your ex will contact you in a matter of days to obtain forgiveness or validation. Your ex won’t wait long because his or her self-forgiveness or self-love will depend on your validation.

If your ex doesn’t contact you after unblocking you, though, then the lack of initiation will tell you that your ex hasn’t had an epiphany yet and that he or she merely wanted to unblock you and prove to him/herself that he or she is not a bad person.

Also, it’s possible that your ex unblocked you to allow you to reach out in case of an emergency. Some exes leave a communication channel open for the dumpee to reach out if he or she really needs to.

Don’t mistake unblocking for a desire to speak. If there is no reaching out after the unblocking, your ex doesn’t want, nor need to communicate with you. Your ex wants you to continue giving him or her space and mind your own business.

Your ex may be curious about you, but curiosity alone may not be enough for your ex to reach out. At the moment, your ex is fine with no communication as he or she is still processing the breakup and passively (indirectly) looking for a reason to talk to you.

When your ex finds a good reason to converse, you can be certain your ex will contact you and try to get something from you. I don’t know what that will be, but it could just be a breadcrumb.

In this post, we discuss why your ex would unblock you.

Why would my ex unblock me?

Your ex unblocked you because unblocking gives your ex certain privileges or feelings. First of all, it allows your ex to see what you’re up to. And secondly, it lets your ex think he or she is a moral person who permits exes to reach out.

Unblocking essentially lets your ex check up on you once in a while and encourages you to text or call if something urgent happens; something like a death in the family that your ex may want to know about. 

Your ex might also have unblocked you to discuss important matters and obligations such as children, shared assets/finances, belongings, and things you need to talk about before you completely part ways.

It would be irresponsible to keep you blocked when it’s necessary to finalize the breakup and communicate about things that tie you to each other.

Your ex could always converse with you through someone else, but that would be a hassle. It would inconvenience others and increase the chance of misinterpreting each other.

Texting can be difficult as exes often misread each other’s emotions and intentions and fight over insignificant things. 

That’s why it’s possible that your ex has processed anger and become open to important topics.

If your ex needed help with something or wanted to be your friend or more, your ex would have reached out immediately or shortly after unblocking you.

He or she wouldn’t wait days or weeks for you to realize you got unblocked and reach out yourself. Always remember that dumpers (especially regretful ones) are in a hurry to communicate and reconnect. They’re in a hurry because they need their ex to acknowledge their worth and give them what they’re looking for.

And what they’re looking for is either friendship, friendship with benefits, an ego boost, or love (a romantic relationship).

Hence, your ex’s unblocking on its own doesn’t mean much. All it means is that your ex’s negative post-breakup emotions have subsided and that your ex doesn’t hate you. Your ex has some respect for you and may find a reason to converse in the future.

It could happen when your ex gets lonely, bored, curious, nostalgic, anxious, sad, or scared.

If it took your ex many months or years to unblock you, your ex probably experienced something negative recently and improved his or her perception of you. Your ex decided to unblock you and check your social profile/s.

But because your ex was able to deal with his or her issues without you, your ex stayed in control of his or her emotions and refrained from reaching out. He or she decided that unblocking was enough.

Don’t immediately assume that your ex is on his or her way back to you and that your ex wants you to put in some effort too. Unblocking can’t be considered an effort because your ex unblocked you willingly to help him/herself feel better.

When it comes to investing in each other, your ex is still lagging behind.

He or she still needs to:

1. initiate
2. apologize
3. show improvements
4. promise to do better
5. ask for friendship or reconciliation 

As a dumpee, you’re not responsible for any of these things. Your job is to heal and get your happy self back. When you’ve recovered and discovered you still want to talk or be with your ex, you must continue to focus on yourself and “wait” for your ex to show interest in conversing.

You must remember that your ex didn’t want to be reminded of you and that it’s your ex’s responsibility to get back in touch. If you reach out to your ex, your ex could get more power from you and feel smothered.

And when your ex gets power and feels smothered, chances are your ex will choose to run away from you and ignore you or block you. That could force you to take your ex’s behavior personally and make you feel unworthy of communication.

So bear in mind that your ex unblocked you because your ex got something out of it. Whether it was information, reassurance, forgiveness, or relief, your ex unblocked you to feel differently about his or her actions or conscience. 

Your ex figured that unblocking would make things right and that it’d let him or her keep moving forward.

With that said, here’s why an ex would unblock you after the breakup.

Why would an ex unblock me and then block me?

Some dumpers block their ex after they’ve unblocked him or her. They do that because they check up on their ex and see something they don’t like. Because they don’t like it and don’t want to feel the way they do, they block their ex again and push their ex out of sight.

This is how they stay in the dark about their ex and control what kind of thoughts and emotions they experience.

Blocking and unblocking are common dumper behaviors. They’re typically incited by conflicting/changing post-breakup thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.

When dumpers feel curious and guilty, they unblock their ex. And when they’re scared, angry, or vengeful, they block again and keep their ex out of sight and mind.

Don’t overthink blocking and unblocking. Consider your ex a person who gets hurt at times and thinks the best way to deal with pain is to block you.

Your ex obviously isn’t ready to see reminders of you (especially if those reminders make your ex feel insecure or angry). Your ex is still in the middle of processing the breakup and waiting for something to change his or her perception of you.

If your ex permanently changes the way he or she sees you and stops thinking you’re a threat to his or her happiness and well-being, your ex will stop making these impulsive decisions to block and unblock you.

Your ex will see that there’s no point thinking about someone he or she is no longer romantically involved with. It may take a while for your ex to adopt this belief, but when your ex does, your ex will either block you or leave you unblocked.

So what should I do when my ex unblocks me?

You may feel tempted to reach out to your ex and pour your heart out as soon as your ex unblocks you, but don’t forget that your ex doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. Your ex fell out of love before you even knew something was wrong.

If you show or tell your ex how you feel just because you got unblocked, you’ll trigger your ex’s repressed feelings and make your ex want to evade you again. You’ll leave your ex with no choice but to ignore you, block you, or get a restraining order against you.

That will make you blame yourself (again) and make it harder for you to love yourself and reattract your ex.

So don’t do anything that pressures your ex and stops him or her from enjoying life. Don’t show your ex you’ve been waiting to get unblocked so you can continue to pursue him or her.

Always remember that dumpers don’t want, nor deserve to be persuaded. They deserve to be left alone to focus on their new life and figure out what they want and don’t want.

If they experience something bad and discern they need their ex to be happy, they come back on their own and ask their ex to forgive them, trust them, and give them one more chance.

You don’t need to do anything before your ex reaches out and tries to get back with you. You just need to stay in no contact and preserve your worth as a human being.

If you do this right (and your ex gets in trouble), your ex won’t just feel tempted to unblock you but also want to talk to you and discover the secret to your happiness and success.

If your ex is very unhappy, your ex could also try to win you back.

So don’t think unblocking means the end of no contact. No contact ends only when your ex wants you back or when you’re ready for friendship. You’ll know it’s safe to end no contact when you can no longer get hurt by your ex.

Why do you think an ex would unblock you? Share your views in the comments area below the post.

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