What Happens When Your Ex Sees You Moving On?

When your ex sees you moving on, your ex probably won’t react in any significant way. Your dumper ex will be okay with you taking care of yourself and enjoying your life as seeing you moving on will reassure your ex that you’re doing fine and that he or she no longer needs to feel bad for leaving you and hurting you.

The dumper will just focus on his or her own emotions and problems and prioritize things and people who make him or her feel positive feelings. Normally, the people who empower your ex and keep your ex busy are the ones who support your ex and motivate your ex to keep moving on.

Such people encourage your ex to get the most out of his or her newfound relief and freedom and make it easier for your ex to start anew.

You, on the other hand, don’t do that. You may be moving on, but that’s not enough for your ex to regret leaving you and want you back. Your ex still needs a good reason to reconnect with you emotionally and want you in his or her life exclusively as a partner.

That reason has to include emotions of regret, anxiety, fear, a need for validation, and a desire to bond.

If your ex has processed the breakup already and stopped feeling relieved, your ex could reach out to you and try to be friends with you. Your ex could send you all kinds of breadcrumbs that confuse you and show no interest in being anything more than platonic friends.

That may indicate that your ex has lost romantic feelings and that he or she thinks you’ve accepted the breakup and won’t try to get back together. Your acceptance of the situation would show you’ve detached and prove it’s safe for your ex to start talking to you and acting like you were never a couple.

And that could get you strung along and make you wonder about your ex’s intentions.

Even though your ex could move on with a clear conscience after seeing that you’re moving on (or have moved on already), you shouldn’t try to make your ex feel guilty, ashamed, or afraid. Making your ex feel negative emotions won’t prevent your ex from moving on and finding someone else.

Some dumpees think that it will, but it will actually just stop your ex from focusing on things your ex wants to focus on and worsen your ex’s poor perception of you and foster resentment.

Anger, bitterness, and other emotions of power are not the kinds of emotions you should make your ex feel. These emotions will destroy your ex’s impression of you and make your ex want to take his or her negative emotions out on you.

And yes, not every dumper loses his or her cool and treats dumpees poorly, but your ex could still feel trapped in a situation he or she doesn’t want to be in. And when your ex feels trapped, there’s a decent chance your ex will want to escape your manipulation tactics and hurt you unintentionally in the process.

You probably already know that strong negative reactions from your ex will make your ex lose respect for you, reinforce your ex’s decision to dump you, and decrease the possibility of getting back together. They’ll make your ex think that breaking up with you was the best decision ever.

So if you don’t want your ex to think that way, don’t do anything that gives rise to negativity. Don’t argue with your ex and explain what you did and wanted to do.

Your ex needs to see you moving on. Seeing that you’re doing well could take some pressure off your ex and prevent your ex from thinking you’re in denial and feeling guilt-tripped.

But on the other hand, moving on alone won’t make your ex miss you or impress your ex. This is just one small step in the process of improving your ex’s perception of you and getting back together.

A more significant factor in reconciliation is your ex experiencing life after the breakup and getting hurt. Negative external factors unrelated to the breakup are much more likely to make your ex realize that the life he or she envisioned is idealistic and not going to happen.

Such realizations could create regrets necessary for nostalgia and fear to kick in.

In today’s article, we explore the question of what happens when your ex sees you moving on.

What happens when your ex sees you moving on?

When your ex sees you moving on, your ex will either have mixed feelings, feel indifferent, or be glad that you’re moving on.

If your ex is glad you’re moving on, a weight will be lifted off your ex’s shoulders, enabling your ex to sleep with a clear conscience.

And if your ex feels indifferent or not sure how he or she feels, your ex will continue to self-prioritize as before and not care about how you feel and why you feel that way.

Either way, nothing will change in terms of reconciliation as your ex’s perception of you will remain the same or very similar. This depends on the mistakes you’ve made after the breakup (how you presented yourself and how badly pressured your ex) and the reasons behind the breakup and the emotions they created.

As a dumpee, the most important thing you need to understand is that your dumper ex wants to see you moving on. He or she wants to know that you’re keeping yourself together and getting over the rejection.

If your ex doesn’t see you’re handling the breakup well (that you’re anxious, sad, and desperate for reconciliation), your ex will likely feel trapped, smothered, or manipulated, which is the opposite of what your ex needs to think positively about you.

This will, in turn, make your ex associate even more negative thoughts and feelings with you and perhaps even force your ex to project them onto you.

Depending on how desperate you appear and what your ex is like as a person, your ex could treat you poorly for a while and then switch to being nice to you.

This transition between hot and cold behavior would indicate that your ex doesn’t want to converse with you but that he or she is forced to due to your ex’s morals and your lack of emotional strength and capacity to move on.

So remember that the dumper can’t be less attracted to you and respect you less when the dumper sees you moving on. The dumper can only improve his or her perception of you and feel better. He or she can notice that you’re not going to chase and that you aren’t as clingy or needy as he or she may have thought.

And that should be your breakup objective. You should strive to both feel and appear emotionally strong and in control of your life. Doing so will empower you and make you look strong, reliable, and mysterious to your ex.

You may feel tempted to beg with your ex, but your dumper ex can’t think or know that you’re dying inside. Seeing you in pain could mess with your ex’s conscience and make your ex talk to you for the wrong reasons (to alleviate guilt).

And guilt is not something you want your ex to feel and reach out for. Not on purpose anyway because your ex will soon realize that it’s hindering him or her from living a healthy life.

Dumpers expect to be happy after the breakup. They don’t expect to deal with negative emotions created by their ex. It doesn’t matter if those negative emotions are created directly or indirectly (without contact). Dumpers don’t want to be unhappy, regardless of who or what makes them unhappy.

Some dumpees fear that by appearing uninterested, they’ll make their dumper ex forget about them quicker. That’s why they act on the fear of their ex moving on and try to make their ex feel some kind of strong emotion.

Such dumpees are happy about inciting anger or other negative emotions because they think that strong negative emotions are better than indifference.

Sadly, that’s just not true. Provoking anger in their ex almost always makes things worse as it often causes the dumper to lose respect and harbor resentment. And as you may know, resentment isn’t the easiest emotion to successfully deal with.

It often requires therapy, a complete emotional reset, and a lowering of pride.

If the dumpee persistently tries to alter the dumper’s thoughts and feelings, he or she may also force the dumper to feel revolted. And that would probably be the final nail in the coffin as disgust would kill all and any remaining attraction.

Your only option, therefore, is to avoid making your ex feel uncomfortable by decreasing the risk of your ex’s suffocation turning into anger, resentment, and ultimately, disgust.

You can demonstrate to your ex you’re moving on in a very simple way. All you have to do is focus on yourself and look forward to life ahead of you. Your ex will know you’re moving on if you’re not reaching out and interacting with your ex or your ex’s friends online.

Your ex will feel your confidence and like it. But hopefully, your ex won’t like it so much that he or she feels prompted to reach out and tries to discover the reasons for your happiness and success.

I suppose you’ll deal with that when it happens. For now, you have to understand what happens when your ex sees you moving on. You have to understand what to expect so you don’t get your hopes up or conversely, your hopes crushed.

The following infographic may help you with your concerns.

What could make your ex see that you’re moving on?

Now that you know that moving on is essential, we need to discuss how you can make your ex see that you’re moving on. I’ve done a lot of research on this topic, and I strongly believe that the most important things that showcase you’re moving on are your behavior and attitude.

These are crucial indicators of emotional independence as they constantly communicate with your ex. They tell your ex how you deal with difficult/painful situations and perhaps even more importantly, how you think of your ex.

Nothing makes a better impression on the dumper than indirect communication. Indirect communication doesn’t mean that you leave your ex clues and try to manipulate him or her into wanting to be with you. It means that you let go of control and let your absence speak for itself.

Your absence is your strongest weapon. It’s the only thing that makes your ex think about you on his or her terms and that doesn’t make things worse in the process.

So keep in mind that if your ex is observing your behavior, your ex will interpret your lack of interest and communication in a positive way. Your ex will think you’re strong and that you respect yourself as well as him or her.

And on the other hand, if your ex isn’t keeping tabs on you online, in person, or through mutual friends, then your ex is probably too far gone to care about your feelings and behavior. Your ex may start caring about such things later when life gives him or her lemons.

The good thing about all of this is that you won’t know whether your ex is checking up on you or not. You’ll be focusing on things that matter to you and continue to heal with the power of ignorance.

Exes can sense when you move on. They can tell how you feel because they also go through separation processes. The biggest difference between these processes is that for them, it happens in reverse and much quicker. They start by feeling pressured and relieved whereas you start with anxiety, uncertainty, and fear.

When they process the breakup, they notice they could have treated you better and that you may no longer care about them. That’s when they normally reach out.

Anyway, if you’re not reaching out and bothering your ex, there’s a chance your ex might think that you don’t find him or her attractive anymore and wonder why. That alone won’t be enough to reattract your ex (unless your ex has a very high ego and wants to feel validated), but it will do something just as important.

It will encourage your ex to shed outdated perceptions of you and see you in a more positive light – as someone worthy of love and commitment.

At that stage, reconciliation will become a waiting game as your ex will still need to go through a negative experience (such as another breakup) to miss you romantically. You need to be patient and willing to wait as long as it takes even if it takes years.

Nobody can predict how long it will take your ex to:

• experience gut-wrenching pain
• reflect
• and recognize your romantic value

Not even your ex knows this because your ex’s realizations depend on his or her maturity, coping mechanisms, and failures. These things are out of your and to some degree, even your ex’s control.

So if you want your ex to understand you’re moving on, bear in mind that your ex may do so most successfully through failure and pain.

When failure and pain hit your ex, your ex could start paying attention to your behavior and attitude and wonder how you’re doing.

Your ex could see that you’re:

• Happier and more confident
• Spending time with friends, family, and new people
• Focusing on happiness and self-improvement
• Posting about your new experiences, goals, hobbies, and positive outlook on life
• No longer reaching out to your ex and talking about the breakup
• Moving on from past memories and hurt feelings
• Okay with the breakup and wishing your ex well
• Dating someone else
• Enjoying your own company

A lot might happen when your ex sees you moving on. As for your ex’s reactions, they could be both good and bad. They depend on what your ex does and how you perceive your ex.

For example, if your ex messages you and says he/she missed you, you might get your hopes up and think to yourself, “Wow, my ex finally reached out and wants to be with me. I need to ask my ex out.”

You wouldn’t know that your ex just breadcrumbed you and has no intention of showing or expressing interest in regaining your trust and working on the relationship.

So when you’ve learned what happens when your ex sees you moving on, make sure to also learn more about dumpers’ behavior. That way, you’ll know what your ex’s responses and actions mean and how you can protect yourself against them.

What do you think happens when your ex sees you moving on? Do you think your ex cares, becomes nostalgic, and feels hurt or does your ex just continue to move on? Share your thought in the comments below.

And if you’re still having difficulty understanding your ex’s behavior and have unresolved questions, visit our coaching page to get in touch.