The Best Response To Being Dumped By Text

There is no best response to being dumped by text. The perfect response doesn’t exist because your experience is unique. Your response should vary depending on your ex’s behavior and whether you need closure and can get closure.

For example, if your ex broke up with you and blamed you for everything, you won’t be getting any closure no matter how hard you try. You’ll be getting accused of things that are not true or that are half-true and feel unworthy as a result.

In such cases, you should avoid taking things personally and shouldn’t converse with your ex.

As long as your ex thinks of himself or herself as a victim and feels resentful, talking to your ex will only make things worse. It will suffocate your ex and make him or her even more defensive. 

But if your ex says or looks like he or she is capable and willing to have a closure conversation, then you should probably take the opportunity and get closure. Find out what went wrong in the relationship and how you can do better in your next relationship.

Don’t tell your ex you hope he or she can forgive you and get back with you in the future as it will pin expectations on your ex and prove you’re willing to put your life on hold for him/her. But do show you’re ready to grow and that you’ll leave your ex alone as soon as you get the answers you’re looking for.

You can say something like, “Thanks for letting me know how you feel. I just have a few questions if you don’t mind. I promise I’ll leave you alone afterward. “

If your ex sees you’re in control of your emotions and not trying to change his or her mind, your ex is much more likely to give you closure.

This is true whether your ex broke up with you in person or by call or text. The means by which your ex initiates the breakup doesn’t change the fact that you need to know what went wrong. Closure (whether it’s given to you by your ex or found on your own) is necessary for you to let go of your ex and prepare for what’s ahead.

As a dumpee, you need to look after yourself. You need to prioritize healing as your ex probably won’t give you closure on a silver platter (the majority of dumpers don’t). You need to be smart and choose an approach that is respectful, non-pressuring, concise, and of course, successful.

You’ll need to get what you need from your ex as quickly and politely as possible by discussing unfinished business such as joint bank accounts and personal belongings. This is important so you don’t get breadcrumbed (contacted about random things) weeks or months down the line.

You don’t want your ex to contact you and destroy your healing just to discuss something that should have been discussed during the breakup. What you want is to get the most out of your breakup.

You want to:

• get closure
• talk about unfinished business
• avoid annoying, hurting, and pressuring your ex
• minimize your separation anxiety and pain
• and retain your worth in your and your ex’s eyes

Every dumpee has different things to discuss after the breakup. Some dumpees want their belongings back, some need to talk about their kids, mortgage, and mutual responsibilities, some have to discuss their work dynamics, and some (or the majority rather) want to say and do things that increase their chances of reconciliation.

If you want to know what the best response to being dumped by text is, figure out what you want or need to accomplish now that the relationship has ended.

If you want to get your ex back, your conversation should be brief and straight to the point. You should respectfully ask for an explanation as to why the relationship ended, thank your ex for explaining things, and wish your ex well.

The conversation should include only essential things you need to accept the breakup and leave your ex alone.

If you have no unfinished business with your ex, the best response to being dumped by text is to simply acknowledge the breakup and end the conversation. The less emotional you get and the less you say, the stronger and more attractive you’ll appear.

Always remember that dumpers despise strong emotional reactions and that they don’t typically want to talk and help those who overwhelm them with emotions and expectations.

Sure, they sometimes help their ex if they’re moral/developed people and feel bad for their ex, but if the dumpee smothers and pressures them, they more often than not react negatively or ignore the dumpee.

How they react depends on them and their dumpee’s reaction to the breakup.

So if you want to know what the best response to being dumped by text is, know that there is no best response as every dumpee’s story is different. There are only responses that avoid bothering the dumper, retain your value, and maximize your chances of success, whatever your definition of success may be.

If you’re just trying to get your stuff back, the perfect response for you would be a response that respects your ex’s decision and sets up a date and time to collect your things.

In this post, we talk about the best response to being dumped by text, depending on specific situations.

What’s not a good response to being dumped by text?

Before we talk about good responses, let’s talk about bad ones. Some of the worst things you can do as a dumpee are get angry, call your ex a spineless coward for breaking up with you by text, demand explanations/closure, and post things about your ex online.

Acting on anger and unwanted emotions is considered a huge breakup mistake. One that will make you look impulsive and unattractive.

If you want your ex back and/or respect yourself, you should control your emotions and remember that your ex doesn’t have much patience anymore. He or she lost it during or even before the breakup and will likely lose respect for you, resent you, or resent you more if you act on pain and anger.

Getting broken up by text isn’t ideal as you don’t get to see your ex’s expression. You can’t tell if your ex even cares about you as a person and wants to talk about the breakup.

This kind of breakup is very impersonal and painful as it forces you to feel unworthy of being broken up with properly (in person) and makes it harder for you to ask questions and feel cared for.

Sympathy is something a dumpee urgently needs from the dumper.

If he or she doesn’t get it (which is often the case in breakups that happen by text), the dumpee may suffer much more than if he or she got dumped in person. This is because, in person, the dumpee can see the dumper’s reaction (guilt and pain).

That doesn’t stop the dumpee from feeling rejected, but it does make the dumpee feel somewhat respected.

Dumpers should avoid breaking up over text when possible (it’s not possible when couples are super long-distance). They should keep in mind that their lack of physical presence will make their ex feel little and that their ex will have a difficult time talking about emotions and ruined expectations over the distance.

In other words, the dumpee won’t get closure or won’t get it in sympathetic ways, which will hinder his or her healing.

Anyway, a bad response to being dumped by text is any response that makes you look immature, reckless, immoral, and vengeful. Likewise, an inappropriate response makes the dumper feel unpleasant emotions. 

Some of those emotions include:

• anger
• guilt
• shame
• disgust
• anxiety
• jealousy
• unworthiness

Since your ex chose the safest option for him or her to break up with you, you need to understand why your ex chose this option. When you understand that your ex was afraid of hurting you and receiving a negative reaction from you, you’ll understand that your ex is a coward who put his or her safety and happiness before your well-being and healing.

Your ex did what was best for him or her and ignored your need to talk about your concerns.

Due to poor moral values, care for you, and understanding of breakups, your ex ran away from moral obligations and let you interpret the breakup in whichever way you wanted. If you wanted to blame yourself, your ex was fine with it as long as you didn’t make your problems his or her problems.

It can feel tempting to get angry with your ex and make his or her life miserable just like your ex made yours miserable. Pain can bring out the worst in you and tell you to hurt your ex back. But no matter how mistreated you feel and how badly you want to punish your ex for dumping you by text, don’t do it.

Don’t show your ex that emotions got the best of you and that you don’t care about your behaviors and actions.

If you let your ex control you like that, you’ll become a vengeful person who’s okay with punishing people who hurt you. And that will make you into a worse, more self-destructive person.

So don’t respond in ways that go against your nature or that make you into someone you don’t want to be. Think about your future self and the way your ex and those around you will perceive you.

Positive thoughts should deter you from doing things you’ll regret in the future.

That being said, here are some ways not to respond to your ex when you get dumped by text.

• I’m disgusted and furious that you broke up with me over text. I expected better of you.
• I want you to know you’re a coward and hope you get dumped in the same way.
• Ok (it shows you’re hurt, disappointed, and pretending not to care).
• I hope that we can still be friends (you’re not ready for it)
• Is there someone else? What does he/she have that I don’t?
• You’ll pay for this!

Let’s now talk about the best responses to being dumped by text.

What’s the best response to being dumped by text?

Now that you know that your response should change depending on what is possible to achieve and what you need after the breakup, let’s dive right in.

First and foremost, all dumpees should imply 3 things:

1. That they accept the breakup.
2. That they respect their ex.
3. That they respect and love themselves.

They must convey these messages so they can alleviate their ex’s guilt, anger, resentment, fears, and disgust or at least not make these emotions worse. Their ex may not matter anymore, but if they make their ex feel stressed, their ex could retaliate and make them stressed back.

And because they’re dumpees, they’d get stressed much more than their ex. They’d get their feelings hurt and hope for reconciliation destroyed. That would trigger their anxiety and fears and complicate their recovery even further. 

My advice is to not fight your ex after the breakup. Your ex may not have chosen the best way to dump you and it may not be fair, but you need to stay in control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You need to treat your ex better than he or she treated you and others.

That’s how you’ll evolve and become the best version of yourself.

With that said, here’s how to respond to being dumped by text.

When your ex is willing to talk about the breakup

“Thanks for agreeing to talk to me about this. I only have a few questions, so I’ll make it quick. I’d like to know why you decided to leave. Please be honest so I understand where I went wrong and what I can do better next time.”

When your ex seems cold, unreceptive, or unwilling to talk/give you closure

“Thanks for letting me know how you feel. I wish you the best.”

When your ex blames you for the breakup

“I understand why you feel this way. We need time to process things and see things clearly. Let’s give each other some space.”

When your ex has stuff at your place

“I understand, thanks for telling me. When can you collect your belongings? I can ship them to you or have someone deliver them on Friday.”

This response is great because it shows you’re not going to beg and that you want to get things over with as quickly as possible.

When your ex cheated and you want or don’t want your ex back

“I saw it coming, so I already accepted the breakup. I’ll need some time to myself to think things through. I hope you understand. Take care”

When you work together

“I hope the breakup won’t affect our productivity at work. I think we should discuss boundaries.”

When you have kids/live together

“It might be difficult at first, but we need to put our emotions aside and prioritize our kids. We should discuss co-parenting and rules for bringing other people into the house.”

Dumpers sometimes avoid talking about responsibilities and returning dumpees’ belongings. They do this because thinking about their ex makes them uncomfortable and stresses them.

Despite that, they need to cooperate so dumpees don’t wait longer than necessary and think their ex may want them back.

As soon as you get closure and/or decide how the breakup is going to unfold, you need to initiate no contact. Cut your ex off so your ex doesn’t think you’ll settle for friendship and allow him or her to use you for selfish benefits.

Feel free to take some time to reply to your ex’s breakup text. A delay of a few hours won’t alter the outcome, but it will assist in creating a more logical response. A response that you’ll be proud of once you’ve recovered from the breakup.

What do you think is the best response to being dumped by text? Share your thoughts in the comments below. We’ll respond shortly.

However, if you’re enjoying our articles and are looking for breakup guidance, visit our coaching page to get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.