Signs He Regrets Hurting You

Although your ex probably won’t tell you that he regrets breaking up with you shortly after the breakup, he might give away something nearly as good.

Your ex might give you signs he regrets hurting you and treating you badly after the separation.

And that’s something you might not want to miss as a broken-hearted, validation-starved dumpee.

Provided your ex is a good human being who cares about his actions, your ex might eventually feel guilty for hurting you.

This may not happen when you want it to immediately after the breakup because your ex needs some time to process the breakup first.

But if your ex eventually does, chances are you will sense your ex’s regretful post-breakup behavior a mile away.

Your ex probably won’t directly express guilt and regret. That would be too easy and would prove that he was wrong.

It would also be a big blow to your ex’s ego and could hurt his pride.

That’s why your ex will instead give you subtle signs that he regrets hurting you.

That’s when you’ll get to decide whether you care about his apologies or if you’re just too detached from your ex to bother detecting the signs.

So if you’re curious about how you can tell if your ex regrets causing you pain and putting you through hell, this is the article for you.

Just note that it’s written from a female perspective and that it applies to both genders.

1)Asking how you are all the time

One of the best signs your ex regrets hurting you is when your ex keeps asking you and your friends about your emotional well-being.

When your ex keeps digging and asking whether you’ve recovered from the pain of the breakup—you can be certain your ex feels guilty.

He can be guilty for:

• the way he broke up with you
• his post-breakup behavior
• breaking up with you and causing you pain

Continuous questioning about your health is a sign that your ex cares about you as well as himself.

The reason why it shows that he cares about himself is that your emotional well-being shows how badly his selfish actions have affected you.

It’s necessary for you to understand that a person with self-respect doesn’t like hurting others. It just doesn’t feel good to be deemed as a bad person because it ruins one’s good karma.

And the same goes for your ex.

The more hurt you appear, the more difficult it becomes for your ex to converse with you and bear the pressure of his intentional and unintentional actions.

Contrarily, the less hurt you seem to be, the more weight you take off his shoulders, and the easier it is for your ex to talk to you.

In simpler terms, if your ex sees you’re doing okay after the breakup, he can feel better about himself and his post-breakup actions. He can talk to you in a normal manner and enjoy the conversation too.

So if you’re trying to eventually get back together with your ex, don’t make your ex feel guilty for dumping you.

Drowning in pity will probably make your ex hate talking to you and force him to avoid you like the plague.

2)Texting long apologetic texts

The second sign your ex regrets hurting you after the breakup is when your ex texts you long apologetic texts which really sound like poems.

These texts essentially contain endless apologies for his pre-breakup and post-breakup behavior and demand karmic validation in return.

They look like this.

When your ex confesses to you where he went wrong and turns inwardly, he basically expects care and sympathy from you.

Your ex demands things that only you and nobody else in this world can give him.

Forgiveness, respect, and validation to name a few.

So don’t make your ex even more guilty by saying how much he’s hurt you.

Tell him you’re doing okay instead, and that you’re enjoying life again.

3)Avoids the breakup topic whenever you bring it up

If your ex knows how much he’s hurt you, he will do everything in his power to avoid talking about it.

He will be so afraid of hearing the truth from you that he’ll steer clear of the breakup topic and avoid making himself feel bad for hurting you.

A regretful ex knows that talking about your health could bring you back in the past, reopen your wound, and coincidentally, hurt your ex as well.

And that’s something your guilty ex-partner has had enough of.

He’d rather just change the topic whenever things start looking sour and talk about something other than the breakup.

And you should too.

4)Saying it’s not you, it’s him

This is one of the classic breakup excuses dumpers often say in order to take the blame for the breakup.

By saying, “It’s not you, it’s me,” dumpers single-handedly try to stop their dumpee from getting too emotional.

And there’s a reason why they do it, so pay close attention.

When your ex says it’s not you, it’s him, you’ve got one of the best signs he regrets hurting you.

This line is essentially a psychological technique that can alleviate guilt by making the dumpee react better than he or she otherwise would.

It’s really just a sly strategy for the dumpers to get away with causing pain by saying that they are the crazy ones for breaking up with the dumpees and that they should be the ones who got punished—and not their ex.

It’s not you, it’s me translates into, “Please don’t blame yourself because you will make me feel guilty and I’ll blame myself more than I already do.“

Here’s what this line really means.

5)Hiding his new partner from you

This is an ambiguous sign that can mean a lot of things for your ex.

But all in all, it can also be one of the greatest signs he regrets hurting you.

When your ex hides his new girlfriend from you, your ex could do so out of your protection. He might be afraid of hurting you and perhaps even being perceived as a cheater.

This is especially true if your ex monkey-branched straight into a new relationship as soon as he ended his relationship with you.

So pay close attention to the way your ex talks to you.

Does he avoid bringing up his girlfriend and mentioning the things they do together?

If he does, you’ve got a sign he feels guilty for hurting you.

6)A change of behavior

When your ex suddenly becomes incredibly restrained, your ex might be at a loss of words for a reason.

He could regret hurting you so much, he’d rather not say or do anything that hurts you further.

If that’s the case, your ex will instead just stay silent in order to stop himself from saying the wrong things.

Similarly to how nervous people behave, guilty dumpers overthink too and end up not saying anything.

If you notice your ex feels uneasy around you and doesn’t appear to be his regular self, your ex probably regrets hurting you.

Either that or your ex just feels embarrassed and forgot how to act around you.

7)Breadcrumbs

One of the less obvious signs your ex regrets hurting you is when your ex sends you breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs are the sneaky version of your ex checking up on you during no contact because you likely won’t know that your ex is only after reassurance.

You must understand that your ex might regret hurting you even if he doesn’t reach out and say it to you directly.

We all have things we regret saying and doing in our lives, but that doesn’t mean that we’re always going to actively seek forgiveness.

Especially not in a direct way that would damage our pride.

A lot of people would rather just accept their mistakes internally and work on making better choices in the future.

Your ex could be one of those people.

So don’t seek a direct apology from your ex if he doesn’t willingly offer it.

8)Something bad happened to your ex

Dumpers often feel guilty for hurting their dumpee when something bad happens to them.

This can be anything from a failed rebound relationship to karma striking them hard.

So remember that your ex can become one of those guilty dumpers too when his life doesn’t go as planned.

No matter what kind of injustice your ex experiences, he will probably apologize to you for everything he’s ever done wrong and seek redemption.

He will intend to purge his soul from all his misdeeds and attempt to better his choices in the future.

That’s because pain is one of the better—if not the best way for the dumper to realize that he wasn’t perfect, and as a result, improve as a person.

It’s truly unfortunate that something bad has to happen before your ex has an epiphany, but that’s just the way dumpers are.

They don’t learn their lesson unless they are put in some miserable situation that forces them to do some introspect.

So if you know your ex is going through something emotionally painful, chances are he will apologize to you for hurting you because he’s hurting himself.

9)Your ex is texting and calling you for no apparent reason

Another sign he regrets hurting you after the breakup is when your ex talks to you on his own accord for “no reason.”

When your ex initiates contact, sends you memes, pictures, quotes, and random things that you couldn’t care less about, your ex is giving you signs that he feels guilty for hurting you.

He’s probably trying to get you to open up so that he sees you don’t hate him—which would give him the kind of validation a person with decent moral values should have.

You probably know that an ex who doesn’t respect you as an equal won’t talk to you “as a friend” and look for you to validate his behavior.

Your ex will instead stay quiet and live his life to the fullest without you in it. He will likely appear happy on his own or with someone else and mind his own business.

So if you have a feeling that your ex is trying to talk to you even though your relationship has ended, it’s possible that your ex has unfinished business with you.

He could feel guilty for hurting you and regret treating you badly after the breakup.

10)He says he regrets hurting you

It doesn’t get more obvious than when your ex tells you that he regrets hurting you. It’s the best sign you can get from an apologetic ex as it proves that your ex regrets acting the way he did.

If your ex gives you obvious signs of regret, your ex directly seeks mercy from you.

He doesn’t just want to apologize to you to make you feel more valuable.

He actually needs to say he’s sorry so that he can move on with his life without any bad conscience on his hands.

So if your ex seeks forgiveness from you, know that you’re the one that gets to decide whether you want to forgive your ex for hurting you or to leave him alone to his demons. ?

The choice is yours.

But if you choose to forgive him, you will have an easier time forgiving yourself and moving on as well.

Did your ex give you any of the 10 signs he regrets hurting you? Comment below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.