Updated on September 4, 2025
If your ex got married only months after the breakup, your ex either skipped the new relationship stages and rushed the marriage (which is a bad idea) or got to know the new person behind your back while you were still a couple. Either way, getting married within months of breaking up isn’t the wisest idea.
It takes approximately half a year of moderate dating to truly get to know a romantic partner. It often takes even longer to see how a person behaves under stress, anger, doubt, or fear. Many people regret committing to their partner when they learn that their partner hid unattractive characteristics or secrets from them. That’s when they encounter problems and question their decisions and feelings.
Marriage after a few months of dating is very risky because couples are still in the honeymoon (infatuation) stage of a new relationship. Everything’s new, so they feel excited to bond and learn more about each other. They shouldn’t be making any major promises and commitments that they aren’t willing to fulfill unless they’re happy.
They should be figuring out whether they’re truly compatible with each other, setting their boundaries, and building a strong foundation.
A honeymoon stage can last a few months or longer. Things may feel exciting, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay that way forever. At some point, the relationship will get old, lose the initial excitement, and demand effort. When that happens, they’ll be forced to get serious and treat the relationship, well… seriously. They’ll have to express themselves mindfully, handle their emotions maturely, and make decisions that benefit both of them.
If they aren’t ready to deal with relationship issues when they arise, they could struggle to get along. Married or not, the relationship title alone won’t change the fact that they took a big risk and got married before they fully understood each other.
Again, they may have the same goals and get along, but it’s too early to tell if they’ll get along when they start to encounter disagreements and emotionally challenging situations. Chances are, they’ll handle them poorly and be forced to reduce the pace of the relationship.
They won’t necessarily break up, but they could stop acting like everything’s perfect and take a more cautious approach. Like all couples, they’ll need to take off their rose-tinted glasses and face reality. Reality that may be difficult for them to accept since they’ve been on a high since the start.
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup, keep in mind that your ex had a blind marriage. Your ex acted on excitement and got married without fully thinking things through. Your ex doesn’t know how the new person handles difficulties and how it will affect him or her mentally and emotionally.
That means they got married purely on attraction and chemistry and took a huge gamble. Yes, they have some things in common; otherwise, they wouldn’t have felt so eager to take the relationship to the final stage so quickly. But rushing is often a sign of impulsivity, insecurity, and fear of the relationship slowing down. It may suggest that the couple is very compatible in the short term but not prepared for a lasting relationship in the long run.
Always remember that the newness and the attraction of a new person don’t determine the success of a romantic relationship, at least not long-term. Once they discover each other’s hidden sides and stop feeling elated all the time, reality will set in and force them to adapt quickly. They’ll need to accept each other’s flaws and learn to work with each other while they’re married.
It won’t be impossible, but it will be a challenge since they’ll need to become aware of their emotional changes and the change of pace in the relationship. Not only will they have to become aware of it, but they’ll also have to accept it and work with it.
In this post, we’ll discuss what it means if your ex got married only months after the breakup. You’re probably feeling shocked, insecure, and anxious, so you might find some solace in this article.
My ex got married only months after the breakup
It’s never easy to see someone you love starting a new relationship soon after the breakup. The shock of seeing your ex move forward with a new, random person instead of back with you (the one your ex shares a history with) can be gut-wrenching. It can make you feel extremely unworthy and easily replaceable by the person you’re willing to sacrifice everything for.
But when your ex gets engaged or married within months of a breakup, that’s even harder to process. A quick engagement or marriage is hard to accept, especially if you’ve been working on yourself and trying to get back with your ex. You might interpret it as your ex finding someone much better than you, and that your ex doesn’t regret leaving you.
Before your self-esteem takes a nosedive, remember that your ex detached a long time ago and that his or her marriage has nothing to do with your worth. It shouldn’t because your ex’s new relationship is between them. They chose to get married so quickly, not because you were such a bad partner, but because they felt a strong need to move quickly.
Whether it’s because they caved in to societal pressure (wanted marriage or kids), acted on feelings of excitement (infatuation), or feared stagnation or loss of interest, they decided to fully commit without thinking about how marriage might affect them. They just knew that they wanted to take the relationship to the next level and see how things went.
They truly took a shot in the dark.
That’s true even if they partially got to know each other before your ex officially ended things with you. The truth is, they thought things would stay great (or get better) if they got married and stayed on cloud 9.
Marriage likely prolonged their infatuation phase for a while, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay euphoric forever. Sooner or later, they’ll be forced to come back to reality and deal with all kinds of challenges life throws at them. Challenging moments will reveal whether they’re truly a good fit for each other and if it was worth getting married so quickly.
I know it’s difficult seeing your ex getting married just months after the breakup because their marriage killed your hope for getting back together. I won’t lie and say that they’ll definitely break up and get a divorce. But since they rushed into it, their relationship resembles the characteristics of a rebound relationship.
Now, people usually rebound when they enter a new relationship quickly after getting dumped. But if your ex didn’t get dumped, but dumped you instead, your ex probably isn’t in a rebound relationship. Your ex is in a normal relationship that was rushed for some reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but it may not be anything good. It may indicate that there are deeper issues they may not be aware of.
If they don’t resolve those issues, the relationship could become unhealthy or end altogether. The future is impossible to predict, but usually, people who rush into new relationships and skip phases do so for a reason. A reason that isn’t usually good for the relationship.
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup, remember that your ex doesn’t even know his or her partner’s habits, characteristics, family, and everything a married person should know. All your ex knows is that they’re currently happy and that they want to stay together. For now, they aren’t thinking about all the potential problems they’ll face as a couple. That’s something they’ll deal with when they get to it.
They won’t just be forced to face problems and deal with them, but they’ll also have to discuss important relationship topics, such as kids, living arrangements, finances, and ways to resolve disagreements. A marriage isn’t any easier than a relationship. Some would say it’s even harder because they consider it the end of their relationship journey and expect it to magically prevent or solve all their problems.
Your ex probably talked about relationship and life goals a few times, but there’s a lot more to talk about. They also have to make concrete plans for the future and ensure they’re on the same page.
No one wants any shocking surprises later. Later, it might be too late to compromise and change.
That’s the path they chose, so they have no other option. If they want the same things and/or are willing to adjust, that’s great for them. But if they want different things and refuse to compromise and make sacrifices, then they’ll likely fail to stay emotionally close to each other.
That’s why it’s important to discuss relationship matters before getting engaged or married.
Your ex made an impulsive decision to get married
Every rational person knows that couples shouldn’t rush into marriage without first discussing their relationship goals and expectations. If they act on elation and rush into marriage, they risk discovering unpleasant/unwanted things while they’re married—and get shocked and hurt. Pain may break them up if they don’t find healthy solutions to their differences.
Unfortunately, some couples break up shortly after marriage. They learn things they didn’t expect to learn, so they argue and fail to find a solution. Such couples realize that they got married too quickly and that they should have taken the time to ask important questions and see how they function together.
It’s no secret that new couples portray themselves in the best light. They accept each other’s differences, tolerate misunderstandings and mistakes, and express lots of love and compassion. They do these things naturally because they want to get along and impress each other.
Things start to change months into the relationship when they stop feeling validated and seeing the need to try hard. That’s when they stop pretending to be perfect and let their guard down. Soon, they experience their first problem and show how they deal with it.
If they resolve it maturely, they move forward. And if they handle it badly, they cause pain, confusion, and doubt. The more often they fail to resolve problems efficiently, the more damage they cause to the new relationship. Too much damage can obviously break a fragile relationship.
Your ex probably doesn’t realize that it’s impossible to stay excited about a new romantic partner forever. At some point, the relationship will get out of the infatuation phase and stop being super exciting. That will be the make it or break it phase for them because they’ll either get overwhelmed by each other’s real personality traits or learn to work together.
They can communicate properly and keep the relationship fresh, of course, but that takes effort. If they’re not prepared to put in the effort, feelings alone may not be enough to save them from feeling hurt and giving up.
Why did my ex get married only months after a breakup?
Guessing the exact reason for your ex’s quick marriage can be difficult, as there are many possible explanations.
One of the reasons is that your ex finally found someone who makes him or her feel understood. This may be due to your ex’s unhappiness in the relationship with you, and his or her focus on your negative traits.
If your ex convinced him/herself that you were the problem, your ex may now see the new person as the complete opposite of you – as someone who can guarantee long-term love, safety, and purpose. The new man or woman connects with your ex and provides your ex with certain benefits, so your ex is trying to secure them through marriage.
Another possible explanation is that your ex’s time is ticking. Your ex might be in a hurry to settle down and have what his or her family or friends have. Whether your ex has certain religious beliefs, is being pressured by family, or wants to be married or have a family on his or her own, people over 35 often start to feel societal pressure and find someone new to date quickly.
They decide to get engaged and married and state they want kids by a certain age. This works for someone who is in a similar stage in life and also wants what they want. It doesn’t work for an avoidant or cautious person who wants to take his or her time in getting to know people.
It’s also possible that your ex lacks relationship experience and is mistaking physical attraction for long-term compatibility. Your ex may be in a hurry to marry because he or she expects the relationship to stay empowering forever. If that’s the case, your ex is in for a rude awakening as soon as the relationship slows down and faces issues that require work.
Another explanation for your ex’s quick marriage is that your ex is afraid of being alone. Whether it’s due to the breakup or a difficult childhood and anxious attachment style, your ex craves security and stability. Your ex sees marriage as a way to feel needed and desired..
Lastly, consider the possibility that your ex’s new partner pushed him or her to get married. Due to one or multiple reasons above, he or she expressed the desire or need to get married quickly. Your ex felt he or she had no choice but to go along with his or her partner’s wishes.
That said, here’s why your ex got married only months after the breakup.
People make promises and commitments when they’re the happiest
Your ex probably promised you the world and said that he or she had never felt so happy, understood, or loved by anyone before. Your ex said those nice things when the relationship was new and the most functional.
Things changed when your ex encountered problems and felt sad, anxious, or angry. Unpleasant emotions made your ex forget all the promises and feelings he or she said and felt at the start of the relationship.
The same principle applies to your ex marrying someone new only months after the breakup.
Your ex is essentially projecting his or her thoughts, feelings, and needs onto his or her new spouse. Ironically, your ex doesn’t realize that this initial elation is temporary and will eventually fade. When it does, your ex will get hit with the realization that keeping his or her promises and commitments will require tons of willpower and conscious effort.
If relationships were as easy as falling in love, there would only be “ever afters.” But relationships and marriages are far from easy. Nearly 80% of couples experience breakups, and around half of all marriages end in divorce. That’s a lot of unhappy relationships and failures.
Don’t think that your ex’s marriage will go smoothly just because they married quickly. If you ask me, a quick marriage is a serious concern because it means they didn’t fully get to know each other (especially each other’s bad points) and made an emotional decision to get married. Their rushing could end up backfiring.
My ex got married, but still contacts me
If your ex got married but still contacts you, your ex probably thinks of you as his or her friend and relies on you for emotional support, advice, or boredom. Your ex still considers you to be “of use,” so your ex contacts you to get something from you.
This could include attention, care, support, validation, or anything a married person shouldn’t seek from an ex-partner. This kind of behavior likely gives you hope and messes with your moving-on process.
You shouldn’t let your ex contact you whenever his or her heart desires. You must remember that your ex lost feelings and interest and replaced you with someone else. This new person is your ex’s top priority, so don’t tolerate your ex’s reach-outs and hope that your ex comes back. Instead of letting your ex treat you like a friend, consider his or her reach-outs as breadcrumbs and prevent your ex from messing with your heart.
You can do that by cutting your ex off, distancing yourself from your ex, and allowing your ex to focus on his or her spouse instead of you. Your ex must be left alone to prioritize his or her new relationship and see what life is like with that person. That’s the only way your ex can compare you to his or her new partner and learn if leaving you was worth it.
If the new relationship is fulfilling or similar to yours, your ex won’t come back. Your ex won’t have a reason to return because your ex won’t have any regrets. Your ex will come back only if the new person turns out to be incompatible and makes your ex realize your value.
My ex is married, and I still love him/her
It’s normal to still have feelings for your ex, especially an ex who recently became your ex. His or her getting married doesn’t stop you from having strong romantic feelings and expectations. If anything, it increases them because it hurts you and makes you feel insignificant.
Despite feeling miserable and not wanting their relationship to progress, it’s important not to meddle with it. Your ex has made his or her decision, and you must do your best to respect it. You must show that you respect yourself and won’t go cause a scene.
Do this by starting a no contact period. No contact will let your ex focus on the new person and preserve your value as an ex. It won’t instantly change your ex’s feelings, but it will make it easier for you to keep your sanity and stop comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner.
The sooner you stop talking to your ex, the sooner you can expect to recover emotionally and leave the past behind. Your feelings will wane with time. It won’t happen overnight because breakups leave a void in the dumpee’s chest, but if you handle the breakup gracefully, you’ll stop caring about your ex and start caring about yourself.
Your life will become a priority, urging you to focus on your happiness, growth, and sense of accomplishment.
So don’t think that you’ll stay in love with your married ex forever. As soon as you detach and start seeing things from a more rational standpoint, you’ll stop craving your ex’s recognition and thinking that you can’t do better than your ex.
The truth is, you currently don’t want anyone different. You want only your ex to love you and complete you. This means that you’re still attached to your ex and need more time to detach.
Give it time, and you’ll see that you deserve someone better. Someone who sees your value, loves you, and can’t get enough of you. Of course, don’t date because you’re not ready for a new romantic connection. Date only when you’re over your ex and don’t care whether your ex is single, in a relationship, or married.
Did your ex get married only months after the breakup? How many months did it take for your ex to get married? Share your experiences below.
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My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
After 12 years together she dumped me right before Thanksgiving and was engaged to the guy she was cheating on me with by Christmas. I have no friends or family to rely on for support. I have tried to focus on myself but we still live together and have a joint bank account/lease/credit card, etc… so it is nearly impossiblle to ignore her. I became so emotionally and financially dependent on her and I can’t even ask her to leave since I can’t afford to live on my own. I feel like I’m trapped in a prison.
Hi,my ex is got engaged after 5 days of break n gettting married within 2 month,dat too on my birthday he decided to marry.and now suddenly he realized dat he can’t be without me.wat can I do now.
Atleast that person has that realization . Mine is
Gonna give a little backstory because I think it will feel therapeutic to type it out. Apologies in advance for my bad punctuation. So my ex and I started dating early 2017, and it was a great relationship. We were both busy independent people with jobs and lives so we gave each other plenty of space, while still spending enough time together to keep the spark going and the relationship happy. 2 years went by, and even though we were happy and in love, she had personal issues arise which caused her to have to move back home to family a few states away. We weren’t going to let that stop us, and continued dating long distance for a year. We took turns going back and forth to see each other with the plan being that I would move there once I found a suitable job. However, applying for jobs that are states away is very difficult especially in my field. I thought about saying screw it, just moving anyway, and grabbing some random part time or service job to make things work. The problem is I went to school for several years to acquire a couple degrees and I wasn’t prepared to throw all that away by leaving the job I had worked so hard to get. Not too long after she moved back to family, she acquired a few jobs for herself and moved into her own tiny one bedroom apartment, which I thought was great and I was happy for her. It was a nice little place, but she kept trying to put the pressure on me to leave my family/friends/career behind at the drop of a hat to come move into this little place with her (I had no say in her getting this apartment by the way even though it was a place I was expected to come live in.) I figured once I eventually found a job, I would move there and then we would get a place for the both of us. Well, after a year of taking turns traveling, many nights spent on facetime, and who knows how many ignored job applications, she finally said she was tired of waiting on me. She said if it was something I really wanted, I would have made it happen by now, and that she would have left everything behind for me had the roles been reversed. In the end I wasn’t able to give up things I had worked hard for, to move states away in hopes everything would work out. We ended up breaking up, it was civil, and it was heartbreaking even though it felt like the right thing to do at that point. This happened a month before the pandemic and right after valentines day.
OKAY. So fast forward about 3 and a half months, we haven’t talked much at all other than checking in on each other due to covid and making sure our families are okay and so on. We are friends and still follow each other on instagram and laugh/comment at each others stories. One day I see her post a story with a new guy, and I think “awh good for her I’m happy she’s getting back out there” because I’ve had time to sort through my feelings and move on like an adult. They seem happy and I don’t pry because it’s none of my business and I’m happy that she’s happy. Fast forward again to about a week ago, and there it is, an instagram post with a ring on her finger saying he popped the question. WHAT. WHAT. They could have only been together for maybe 5 or so months at best and have hardly posted anything together since I initially saw them together. I try to not take social media too seriously or “stalk” but when you’re someone that posts semi-frequently, are you really gonna marry that guy you have like 4 pictures with so far? And have had only a few months to spend time together and go on like one trip with? I didn’t care about her moving on at all but this really hurt me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for her and wish her the best but can’t help but feel like she’s rushing this based off sheer infatuation or the fact that he’s there with her 24/7 when I couldn’t be. I’ve been letting it consume me for the past week to the point of finding this thread and writing this post. She seems so happy and all her friends seem to be in full support. I can only base what I know of her now on what I see on social media since we don’t text or talk, so for all I know the relationship could be all wrong, or it could be the perfect thing. She was a very smart and level headed person when we were together so it’s hard to believe she would say yes to something like this without being 100% sure. I guess only time will tell.
If you’re still reading, I guess I don’t even know what I hope to gain from typing all this. I’m going to try to stop thinking about it, but its hard to not compare myself or feel jealousy. We weren’t meant to be, and I know that, but it really cuts deep when someone that was such a big part of your life becomes an even bigger part of someone else’s life in just a fraction of the time. I have had a few failed attempts at texting people and gone on one (1) date in the few months its taken her to get engaged. I’m just gonna keep doing me and whatever happens, will happen. I’m 27, I’m young, and I for one am in no rush to say “I do” yet. Thanks for reading.
Super sad. My wife and I have been together for 11 years, married for 6 (Still legally married). We have three young children, 11, 7, 5. Just after moving into new home at the new year (2020), my wife became secretive, hiding on phone, upstairs chat sessions, etc….not the same lady. On our wedding anniversary, (7/25/2020), she had me watch the kids so she could visit her mom in Irvine Ca. Came home and I KNEW she was cheating. She admitted to staying in a motel with a guy she had been chatting with for months and had worked with 16 years ago. They stayed in motel for 4 days (Wedding Anniversary). Said she was having an affair, and that she loved him. I was crushed, as our relationship was strong with deep love and attraction, ( I thought). Short story long, a week later, she left again to visit “mom” again. Was supposed to be gone for four days as I watched the kids. She came home 17 days later. I found her luggage tags that said “Detroit”. This is the home of her affair. She took advantage of me watching kids and stayed at this guys house in Michigan for 17 days. Again, admitted much infidelity. Began talking on phone with him, right in front of me, she didn’t care. On August 30, 2020, she said she was taking kids to Vegas for family for two weeks. She got on a plane and MOVED into this new guys home after chatting with and briefly knowing him. I see now, that after living with him for two and a half months, they’re engaged. SHOCKED!!!. I sometimes talk with my kids, but I’m still missing them and still shell shocked that my one time, loving, caring, demure, sweet, affectionate and beautiful wife could betray a guy she has always claimed was the “greatest Love of her life, soulmate, the whole nine yards. I was played. Now she post pics all over social media of them two together. My poor kids must be so confused. I wonder if she’ll ever realize just what hurt she’s caused to a one time super tight family. She has told me that I’m a great husband and a great Father, but her heart as moved on and she loves the new guy—-Oh well, only time will tell.
Thats rough.
My ex and I were together for 8.5 years doing the long distance thing. We took turns and saw each other every 6 weeks or so for a minimum 5 days but longer breaks up to 3 weeks or more when work allowed. We also video chatted, and talked every day. The plan was for me to move when a job came up, my specialty is difficult to finds jobs in, especially in the smallish country town he lived in. We didnt want kids and had agreed not to, so it’s not like it didnt matter if i had a job because id be staying home with the kids.
Fast forward and 1 night he calls me and tells me he wants kids, has been thinking about it for 6 months and that’s it, we’re over, no further discussion. In his mind thats it because he’s been thinking about it for 6 months, nevermind that I’ve only had 10 minutes to process this information. We had even visited several friends with kids from newborn to toddlers during this time period and not once did he bring it up! I should mention that 2 hours before this conversation I had applied for a job in his town and was looking at properties…
Initially he agreed to meeting up to talk with me then told me it wasn’t a good idea to “reopen everything” – nothing had closed for me yet because I was completely blind sided by the break up!
Im not active on social media and only very rarely check it. Recently I saw he started dating someone 3 weeks after we broke up from an 8.5 year relationship! At 3 weeks post break up i was still in shock and pretending it hadn’t happened. They were engaged at 9 months and will marry at 14 months. Now I know why he wouldn’t meet up and talk. They got together the week we were supposed to be away on a holiday with my family.
I still struggle to figure out what happened in our relationship for me to have got it so wrong to be planning our future only 2 hours before hes ending our future. Just hit me in the guts at how easy it was for him to move on whilst I’m still struggling. I’ve always been a little anxious but managed to control it with exercise. I’ve been on anxiety meds since we broke up though and its only gotten worse with this latest development.
I get that kids are not a minor issue you can get over in a relationship – there will always be resentment from one party if its felt someone sacrificed too much. I think my biggest struggle is just that it was such a unilateral decision with no conversation, that also coincided with a day we had waited years to arrive. We were always open with communication yet i had no idea of this. I dont feel like I’ve been able to have any resolution.
I do wish him the best, but it doesn’t mean it’s easy…
My ex dumped me at Easter, the second week of lockdown. We had been talking about a futer together the week before. I’ve now just found out she met someone else and got married four months after we split up. Thoughts please?
Met a guy online, he had been separated for about a month but said that he felt like he’s been single for years. We hit it off. He fell hard for me (or so he said). By the second date he wanted to be a couple but I told him he was moving too fast. Before our third date he had already said he loved me, I thought it was the alcohol talking but he said it a few more times. We talked everyday all day long. I tried really hard not to fall for him so fast but I did. He constantly told me how great I was, that he wasn’t used to being treated like how I treat him, and he wasn’t going anywhere. I spent NYE with him. That night it all felt right and I felt like this was it, I finally found my one. We became a couple. The next day he woke up and was texting someone (I’m assuming now it was her) and was upset. I asked if everything was ok and he said yes. We had a nice day but I went home because I had been sick since the night before. He said he understood if I wanted to go home but now I think he just wanted me away so he could talk to her. We talked for a bit when I got home but I noticed that he never texted me to say text him when I got home. Later that night didn’t hear from him. I told him I was going to bed and all I got was “ok babe”. The next morning he texted me and tells me that he doesn’t want to be a couple (mind you he was hell bent on being a couple by the second date) that he just wanted to keep dating and spend time with me but not be a couple that he couldn’t commit, gave excuses about his kids. Few days later didn’t hear from him for a week. He finally replied back to me and gave more excuses, but I believed him because I completely trusted him. We talked off and on for another week. He was supposed to start counseling (or so he said) and said that when he started he was going off the grid to focus on getting himself together. We talked the day of his supposed appointment and after that I haven’t heard anymore from him. I would text him and they were show delivered. I texted him one day and it didn’t show delivered so realized I was blocked. Found out 8 days after our last conversation that he was in a relationship with a girl that he had dated 20+ years ago and had posted pics on social media of them naked in bed together and one picture with the caption starting off with something like “when things don’t work out like you planned”. Um they didn’t work out like you planned because of YOU. Now here we are 7 months later and they just got engaged over the weekend. He is still married and she just got divorced for like the second or third time in October. Seems like they were planning on being together the whole time and he just used me to fill in until she was ready. We weren’t together long at all but he treated me exactly how I have always wanted to be treated and I fell in love, I thought he had too. Or I was the fill-in and he didn’t expect to fall for me. Or he did fall for me but she popped back up into his life. They live in different states right now so I’m sure as soon as they live together and spend more than a weekend together, they’ll see each others true colors. Just really hurts because he knows what I’ve been through in the past and promised he’d never do me like that but he did exactly what he said he’d never do and now I think everything he said to me was a lie. But I truly believe in Karma so what goes around comes around and it’ll bit him in the butt.
Hi I just found this because I can’t sleep. I’m in so much confusion.
Last October my boyfriend of 4 years left me. He said I made him anxious. That he kept thinking he was ready for marriage but he just wasn’t.
I found out he was with a new girl within weeks of us breaking up. But only in December. I was shattered.
This weekend he got engaged. It’s been exactly 9 months. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want him back of course but I’m so terribly hurt. I loved him with everything I had. Can someone please tell me what I’m supposed to do with myself to not think or feel this betrayal every second of the day? It’s insanity isn’t it? He surely knows her
my ex is getting married tomorrow… that’s four months after our breakup.
My ex and I were friends for 30 years and a couple for 14 of those. We moved to a different country together for work. In February 2020 he essentially changed overnight and left me out of the blue. I was completely blindsided. He was within a week dating a 27-year old (we are in our 40s) Colombian (we live in Colombia) that was my friend and is still our coworker. They were living together within a couple of weeks, in an apartment that could be seen from the one I was living in and they knew this. They got a dog a couple of weeks later and now they are engaged after less than 6 months of dating. I’ve been abandoned in a foreign country by the person I had life plans with, during a pandemic that I am now left to isolate alone during. We have been in mandatory isolation for over 4 months and are still in it. I’ve never been so broken or low. I’ve never felt so betrayed by two people I cared about, especially him. It’s like I never existed to either one of them.
My ex was with me for almost 2 years. We met on her birthday when I was DD’ing for a girl i vaugely knew that wanted to take “her gals” to the club. The second I saw her I knew I was in love.
But just January this year after starting her masters halfway through our relationship (we both went to the same uni and she just finished her undergrad when we met) she told me she was too stressed and depressed “to be with me at lesst right now”. I believed her and still do.
Feb rolls around and she meets a guy 7 years older than her and my total opposite far as i can see. By april 1st they began dating. Mid May I saw the ring on her finger during a snapchat story post. They did in 4 months what me and her had planned for 3 years. Its heartbreaking.
I still love her and cant seem to move on. We only vaugely talk anymore and I miss her. I really dont know what to do because not only is this so out of character for her but from everything ive read online he seems like a rebound. I cant help but still want a future, a new chapter in an old relationship, but dont know if that will happen.
2020 went from plans to celebrate 2 years, me graduate undergrad, move in together and buy the ring for next year to quarentine, her breaking my heart, no commencement for graduation and this guy taking everything I ever wanted with her.
My ex fiance and I broke up mid January 2020 …I come to find out he got married Mid March 2020 ..he was calling me like nothing was going on i was totally hurt, i was devastated, the hurting part of it i moved from another state so we could get married , so i am going through this with no friends no family just with the grace of God…i am thinking he never really loved me or he has been messing with her all Along
Hi T. I’m really sorry for what happened to you, I have been in the same situation this year, if you need to vent it out or need help we can talk.
We were together for almost 6 years. We’d been engaged since oct 2016 and broke up april 2019. 9 days post engagement, i found out he cheated on me with another girl at his faculty (we’re in a long distance relationship). We’re still a student, he was in his final year and i still had year and half to finish my studies because we took different courses. Since i found out about the girl, our relationship hit rock bottom. I tried to get him sat and discussed about whatever gaps we had within us but he always refused and i ended up being scolded. I was fully aware that efficient communication is key to every relationship. I hid that fact our relationship had turned sour from my family. According to our plan, we will get married right after i graduated. It was so tiring, devastated, drained and toxic of a relationship. I kept myself occupied with assignments just to escape myself from feeling too burdened by thinking of us. He said he wanted to be alone. He denied on the possibility of having another woman he likes when being asked and i believed. Long story short, i was too tired to hold on longer so i pushed him for an answer. He insisted on us not fit to be together, so we broke up. During the break up event, he did asked my dad if he comes back to me in future, will my dad bother to accept him back and my dad said, he will accept if fate binds us that way. Basically he was giving me hopes. In oct 2019, i was shocked by sudden news that he got married to a girl i never know. I realised that his assurance he before that he wanted to be alone and that he had no girl he likes were all lies. It hurts my pride. I develop anxiety and almost fall to severe depression due to heartbroken. But, one day, I sat and started thinking. I have many goals and big dreams which are still left unachieved. So i started to live my life healthily and happily afterwards. I know one day he will come back to me because he still owes me forgiveness and explanations. I didnt really blame him. It’s okay because at least God taught me something very valuable about life in ways that only He knows. We must cherish every opportunity that comes in our life. We only live once and i really want to live my life to the fullest now without needing to worry on any man anymore.
I was in a relationship for over a year and a half. We were madly in love (so I thought). He said he wanted to marry me throughout our whole relationship. He was picking out a ring a showed my mom. However, months prior to the breakup, he started accusing me of things that weren’t true. He was very insecure and jealous and his thoughts became more negative.
This went on for about 6 months and our communication started suffering. This was in the midst of me loosing my job and not knowing how to make ends meet (we didn’t live together). I started having severe anxiety and decided to break off the relationship to give us time apart. I suggested he see a therapist and work on himself (which he did), and I also needed space to center myself. We were apart 2 months (from end of July to September) but still communicating with texts and phone calls often. He told me I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and wrote me a marriage poem in September.
Then we had a huge fight over the phone because of lack of emotional support which I needed (I still didn’t have a job), and I broke up with him for good, even though I told him I still loved him. I missed him terribly every single day.
I received a text from him 3 weeks after and was really excited and told him I had sent him a little gift for his birthday. That’s when he texted me that he hadn’t been home and had started dating someone. I didn’t have a good reaction at all. I completely flipped out and started panicking. I was so hurt and angry, and asked if I could speak to him but he refused. I sent him a slew of texts telling him how much I loved him, and also angry texts (I didn’t handle this well). He then said he had let me go months before and had moved on. I didn’t understand this since a month prior he wrote me a marriage poem and said I was the love of his life. He said he wasn’t well in the head and he was sorry for leading me on.
He got married to her in December (after being together 2 months) and they got matching ring tattoos. He told me she was his wife and not to contact him again. I feel like I wasted 2 years of my life on nothing.
I forgot to add that he also told me he no longer loved me, which cut through my heart like a knife. That was extremely cruel as he could have said he still cared for me or something kind after all the time we spent together.
I met him he had no job and I helped him build his company. He also had a ton of emotional issues and insecurities which I spent endless energy and time helping him through for a year and a half. When he met this new woman he presented himself as the whole package, even though he was very different when I met him.
Some people aren’t meant to be together, just think about all the bad times you had. If you married you would have been stuck more years of unhappiness
But what if they’re from a culture where getting married within months of knowing each other is the norm? He’s Indian and I’m American and he got an arranged marriage months after dumping me. Note: it’s different from forced marriage — in an arranged marriage he still gets a say in the girl and that’s what kills me.
I’ll marry you 🙂
My ex left me after I moved up to be closer to her. A month later she is getting married and all her friends are super supportive of it. It kind of adds salt to the wound when in all honesty she isn’t thinking about me at all.
My ex and I were together for 6 years. We broke up and he was in a new relationship within a week a month into their relationship they got engaged. I still love him and I want him back.
I had the same thing…we where apart 4 years but now we’re living together and building a future together again.
Distance yourself… if he gets in touch be friendly and don’t comment on her. It will fizzle out. You’ll be fine.
My ex broke up with me and i found out that he has already a new girlfriend a month after we break. During their 1st monthsary he propose to his new gf and got married after 5 mons. Is it really easy for a guy to find new one and got married easily? And now their having a baby.
Charmaine I know how you feel girl I was with my ex for 20 years had 6 kids by him only to separate for 3 1/2 years cause he cheated now he jus got married after one year of knowing someone he met online after cheating and doing another woman dirty..crazy part is the woman he cheated on me with were great friends he sis her dirty to
My ex broke up with me in November. I was in NC. And then he came back crying, we spoke for 3 days, somehow I felt that he was still kind of confused. So I asked him to take some time and that he should get back to me. He didn’t. So I called after 3 weeks for closure. He said he was on his way to a date . He still didn’t give me a straight answer.
I texted him a week or so later and he told me he’s flying out to see a girl and that he maybe getting engaged. It’s been 2-3 months and we have been in contact at some level.
This is really shocking lol.
Hang in there, Arya!
Your ex isn’t worth another shot so you need to move on from him.
Take your time and you’ll soon find someone who can give you what you’re looking for.
Kind regards,
Zan
You left out women who leave their husbands and then get pregnant to their lovers.. so they marry them. That would be the case of my ex wife….
We was living together 11yrs. We broke up four months later he got marry & she live in one state & he’s in another state
Ok. I know it’s tough to hear but usually when this happens its because they were cheating on you for sometime. I have known friends they have done it men and women. For instance I knew a friend since middle school “Helen” she was in a abusive relationship.Since I was a 28 years old attorney I got her a job as a paralegal. She was dating one the lawyers for 2 years ( she didn’t tell me ) also she did an accelerated nursing degree I lied for her saying she is working late nights. After graduating, found a job as a school nurse and new apartment she picked a fight with him. He kicked her and her 7 year old daughter .She gathered her things and left. Five months after she accepted a proposal from the lawyer .Now she is free and happy .
I knew men and women have done it. Some of the reasons are 1) the relationship is dead but they don’t want break up so they drag it. 2) its mostly women – they want to get married and takes the first guy who will offer it. 3) They are passing time with you. 4) you aren’t ideal for them.
On Number 4. I know there are black men dated white girls but families opinions. 😔So they broke up with them. I know girl who are bisexual, date a woman for years but marry a guy. Because its more appropriate. (😔) Another reason which I done. I dated a guy for years and he refuse to finish his college degree in engineering. And he was making minimum pay he didn’t want to advance in his career. I don’t mind being the breadwinner but it’s too much I have two kids and a mortgage to think about .Its the same argument over again, we drifted apart .But I didn’t cheat.
And there other explanations. But I’m telling you when that happens most of time they cheated, for sometime and dragged it. By the time you guys broke up, she was probably proposed by the other guy. Or broke up with you because he proposed .Sorry it happened .
I enjoyed your article. I’m commenting to see if my situation applies here. He broke up with me out of the blue saying that he’d been unhappy for a month out of two years (now I realize it’s because he cheated on me with his wife). Then, I find out that he was engaged 4-5 months later. They also moved in together quickly. I was in shock to say the least. They got married 5 months after getting engaged. So everything happened in under 10 months after our breakup. Is this considered quick? In my mind it is, but maybe 4-5 months is enough time to know if someone is the one (even while I’m typing that, I don’t believe it lol). He had been telling me how he’d never felt this way about someone before, how he loved me so much it hurt, that he loved me more than I him. And then 10 months later he’s married. They bought a house before the wedding and it seems like they’re living happily ever after. Sigh. What do you think?
Can you remove my name??
Hi Anon.
10 months is considered quick.
I think they’re rushing it as they didn’t even get to know each other.
I suggest you let them be for now and stop watching their social media. Completely disconnect from them and focus on yourself.
Your ex will either come back or you’ll meet someone better.
Best regards,
Zan
That’s exactly what happened in my situation except we have 3 kids and spent 9 years together. He never married me… stating that he didnt think it was important. He met a rich younger girl (cheated on me with her) moved directly into her house from mine and proposed and married within 10 months. I’m hurt for not only me but for the kids. I’m reeling from the relationship still and people keep telling me it’s his loss. But now I’m a single mom of 3 kids in a crappy apartment with all the debt we built in our relationship and he owns a house a nice car and has a marriage. It’s not a competition but if it was I lost. I’m not even ready to date yet!
same thing happened for me. ex girlfriend is getting engaged 2 months after getting together with her current. we just broke up in the end of May. whatever it is, just wish them the best. it was not meant to be for your ex and you. I am sure you will be able to find someone more suited and deserving of you, like how I feel for myself. just healing now so I do not treat my next as a rebound the way my ex did.
My LDR ex- girlfriend of 2 years is getting married in 2 months. We spent most of our relationship long distance, due to Covid-19. Within few days after we broke up , she’s with another guy. She clearly lied. Suddenly, he becomes the ONE. I knew she was already seeing him behind. We were a lovely couple. But most times, she couldn’t meet me halfway and I would do all the fighting. She gave me excuses. Staying that “they only recently know each other”. It hurts. I love her with all my heart. Our relationship was far from toxic. It was all due to time apart and uncertainties. But I still kept believing and promise to come. Eventually she settled with someone from her town, someone who works with her.