Updated on September 4, 2025
If your ex got married only months after the breakup, your ex either skipped the new relationship stages and rushed the marriage (which is a bad idea) or got to know the new person behind your back while you were still a couple. Either way, getting married within months of breaking up isn’t the wisest idea.
It takes approximately half a year of moderate dating to truly get to know a romantic partner. It often takes even longer to see how a person behaves under stress, anger, doubt, or fear. Many people regret committing to their partner when they learn that their partner hid unattractive characteristics or secrets from them. That’s when they encounter problems and question their decisions and feelings.
Marriage after a few months of dating is very risky because couples are still in the honeymoon (infatuation) stage of a new relationship. Everything’s new, so they feel excited to bond and learn more about each other. They shouldn’t be making any major promises and commitments that they aren’t willing to fulfill unless they’re happy.
They should be figuring out whether they’re truly compatible with each other, setting their boundaries, and building a strong foundation.
A honeymoon stage can last a few months or longer. Things may feel exciting, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay that way forever. At some point, the relationship will get old, lose the initial excitement, and demand effort. When that happens, they’ll be forced to get serious and treat the relationship, well… seriously. They’ll have to express themselves mindfully, handle their emotions maturely, and make decisions that benefit both of them.
If they aren’t ready to deal with relationship issues when they arise, they could struggle to get along. Married or not, the relationship title alone won’t change the fact that they took a big risk and got married before they fully understood each other.
Again, they may have the same goals and get along, but it’s too early to tell if they’ll get along when they start to encounter disagreements and emotionally challenging situations. Chances are, they’ll handle them poorly and be forced to reduce the pace of the relationship.
They won’t necessarily break up, but they could stop acting like everything’s perfect and take a more cautious approach. Like all couples, they’ll need to take off their rose-tinted glasses and face reality. Reality that may be difficult for them to accept since they’ve been on a high since the start.
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup, keep in mind that your ex had a blind marriage. Your ex acted on excitement and got married without fully thinking things through. Your ex doesn’t know how the new person handles difficulties and how it will affect him or her mentally and emotionally.
That means they got married purely on attraction and chemistry and took a huge gamble. Yes, they have some things in common; otherwise, they wouldn’t have felt so eager to take the relationship to the final stage so quickly. But rushing is often a sign of impulsivity, insecurity, and fear of the relationship slowing down. It may suggest that the couple is very compatible in the short term but not prepared for a lasting relationship in the long run.
Always remember that the newness and the attraction of a new person don’t determine the success of a romantic relationship, at least not long-term. Once they discover each other’s hidden sides and stop feeling elated all the time, reality will set in and force them to adapt quickly. They’ll need to accept each other’s flaws and learn to work with each other while they’re married.
It won’t be impossible, but it will be a challenge since they’ll need to become aware of their emotional changes and the change of pace in the relationship. Not only will they have to become aware of it, but they’ll also have to accept it and work with it.
In this post, we’ll discuss what it means if your ex got married only months after the breakup. You’re probably feeling shocked, insecure, and anxious, so you might find some solace in this article.
My ex got married only months after the breakup
It’s never easy to see someone you love starting a new relationship soon after the breakup. The shock of seeing your ex move forward with a new, random person instead of back with you (the one your ex shares a history with) can be gut-wrenching. It can make you feel extremely unworthy and easily replaceable by the person you’re willing to sacrifice everything for.
But when your ex gets engaged or married within months of a breakup, that’s even harder to process. A quick engagement or marriage is hard to accept, especially if you’ve been working on yourself and trying to get back with your ex. You might interpret it as your ex finding someone much better than you, and that your ex doesn’t regret leaving you.
Before your self-esteem takes a nosedive, remember that your ex detached a long time ago and that his or her marriage has nothing to do with your worth. It shouldn’t because your ex’s new relationship is between them. They chose to get married so quickly, not because you were such a bad partner, but because they felt a strong need to move quickly.
Whether it’s because they caved in to societal pressure (wanted marriage or kids), acted on feelings of excitement (infatuation), or feared stagnation or loss of interest, they decided to fully commit without thinking about how marriage might affect them. They just knew that they wanted to take the relationship to the next level and see how things went.
They truly took a shot in the dark.
That’s true even if they partially got to know each other before your ex officially ended things with you. The truth is, they thought things would stay great (or get better) if they got married and stayed on cloud 9.
Marriage likely prolonged their infatuation phase for a while, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stay euphoric forever. Sooner or later, they’ll be forced to come back to reality and deal with all kinds of challenges life throws at them. Challenging moments will reveal whether they’re truly a good fit for each other and if it was worth getting married so quickly.
I know it’s difficult seeing your ex getting married just months after the breakup because their marriage killed your hope for getting back together. I won’t lie and say that they’ll definitely break up and get a divorce. But since they rushed into it, their relationship resembles the characteristics of a rebound relationship.
Now, people usually rebound when they enter a new relationship quickly after getting dumped. But if your ex didn’t get dumped, but dumped you instead, your ex probably isn’t in a rebound relationship. Your ex is in a normal relationship that was rushed for some reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but it may not be anything good. It may indicate that there are deeper issues they may not be aware of.
If they don’t resolve those issues, the relationship could become unhealthy or end altogether. The future is impossible to predict, but usually, people who rush into new relationships and skip phases do so for a reason. A reason that isn’t usually good for the relationship.
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup, remember that your ex doesn’t even know his or her partner’s habits, characteristics, family, and everything a married person should know. All your ex knows is that they’re currently happy and that they want to stay together. For now, they aren’t thinking about all the potential problems they’ll face as a couple. That’s something they’ll deal with when they get to it.
They won’t just be forced to face problems and deal with them, but they’ll also have to discuss important relationship topics, such as kids, living arrangements, finances, and ways to resolve disagreements. A marriage isn’t any easier than a relationship. Some would say it’s even harder because they consider it the end of their relationship journey and expect it to magically prevent or solve all their problems.
Your ex probably talked about relationship and life goals a few times, but there’s a lot more to talk about. They also have to make concrete plans for the future and ensure they’re on the same page.
No one wants any shocking surprises later. Later, it might be too late to compromise and change.
That’s the path they chose, so they have no other option. If they want the same things and/or are willing to adjust, that’s great for them. But if they want different things and refuse to compromise and make sacrifices, then they’ll likely fail to stay emotionally close to each other.
That’s why it’s important to discuss relationship matters before getting engaged or married.
Your ex made an impulsive decision to get married
Every rational person knows that couples shouldn’t rush into marriage without first discussing their relationship goals and expectations. If they act on elation and rush into marriage, they risk discovering unpleasant/unwanted things while they’re married—and get shocked and hurt. Pain may break them up if they don’t find healthy solutions to their differences.
Unfortunately, some couples break up shortly after marriage. They learn things they didn’t expect to learn, so they argue and fail to find a solution. Such couples realize that they got married too quickly and that they should have taken the time to ask important questions and see how they function together.
It’s no secret that new couples portray themselves in the best light. They accept each other’s differences, tolerate misunderstandings and mistakes, and express lots of love and compassion. They do these things naturally because they want to get along and impress each other.
Things start to change months into the relationship when they stop feeling validated and seeing the need to try hard. That’s when they stop pretending to be perfect and let their guard down. Soon, they experience their first problem and show how they deal with it.
If they resolve it maturely, they move forward. And if they handle it badly, they cause pain, confusion, and doubt. The more often they fail to resolve problems efficiently, the more damage they cause to the new relationship. Too much damage can obviously break a fragile relationship.
Your ex probably doesn’t realize that it’s impossible to stay excited about a new romantic partner forever. At some point, the relationship will get out of the infatuation phase and stop being super exciting. That will be the make it or break it phase for them because they’ll either get overwhelmed by each other’s real personality traits or learn to work together.
They can communicate properly and keep the relationship fresh, of course, but that takes effort. If they’re not prepared to put in the effort, feelings alone may not be enough to save them from feeling hurt and giving up.
Why did my ex get married only months after a breakup?
Guessing the exact reason for your ex’s quick marriage can be difficult, as there are many possible explanations.
One of the reasons is that your ex finally found someone who makes him or her feel understood. This may be due to your ex’s unhappiness in the relationship with you, and his or her focus on your negative traits.
If your ex convinced him/herself that you were the problem, your ex may now see the new person as the complete opposite of you – as someone who can guarantee long-term love, safety, and purpose. The new man or woman connects with your ex and provides your ex with certain benefits, so your ex is trying to secure them through marriage.
Another possible explanation is that your ex’s time is ticking. Your ex might be in a hurry to settle down and have what his or her family or friends have. Whether your ex has certain religious beliefs, is being pressured by family, or wants to be married or have a family on his or her own, people over 35 often start to feel societal pressure and find someone new to date quickly.
They decide to get engaged and married and state they want kids by a certain age. This works for someone who is in a similar stage in life and also wants what they want. It doesn’t work for an avoidant or cautious person who wants to take his or her time in getting to know people.
It’s also possible that your ex lacks relationship experience and is mistaking physical attraction for long-term compatibility. Your ex may be in a hurry to marry because he or she expects the relationship to stay empowering forever. If that’s the case, your ex is in for a rude awakening as soon as the relationship slows down and faces issues that require work.
Another explanation for your ex’s quick marriage is that your ex is afraid of being alone. Whether it’s due to the breakup or a difficult childhood and anxious attachment style, your ex craves security and stability. Your ex sees marriage as a way to feel needed and desired..
Lastly, consider the possibility that your ex’s new partner pushed him or her to get married. Due to one or multiple reasons above, he or she expressed the desire or need to get married quickly. Your ex felt he or she had no choice but to go along with his or her partner’s wishes.
That said, here’s why your ex got married only months after the breakup.
People make promises and commitments when they’re the happiest
Your ex probably promised you the world and said that he or she had never felt so happy, understood, or loved by anyone before. Your ex said those nice things when the relationship was new and the most functional.
Things changed when your ex encountered problems and felt sad, anxious, or angry. Unpleasant emotions made your ex forget all the promises and feelings he or she said and felt at the start of the relationship.
The same principle applies to your ex marrying someone new only months after the breakup.
Your ex is essentially projecting his or her thoughts, feelings, and needs onto his or her new spouse. Ironically, your ex doesn’t realize that this initial elation is temporary and will eventually fade. When it does, your ex will get hit with the realization that keeping his or her promises and commitments will require tons of willpower and conscious effort.
If relationships were as easy as falling in love, there would only be “ever afters.” But relationships and marriages are far from easy. Nearly 80% of couples experience breakups, and around half of all marriages end in divorce. That’s a lot of unhappy relationships and failures.
Don’t think that your ex’s marriage will go smoothly just because they married quickly. If you ask me, a quick marriage is a serious concern because it means they didn’t fully get to know each other (especially each other’s bad points) and made an emotional decision to get married. Their rushing could end up backfiring.
My ex got married, but still contacts me
If your ex got married but still contacts you, your ex probably thinks of you as his or her friend and relies on you for emotional support, advice, or boredom. Your ex still considers you to be “of use,” so your ex contacts you to get something from you.
This could include attention, care, support, validation, or anything a married person shouldn’t seek from an ex-partner. This kind of behavior likely gives you hope and messes with your moving-on process.
You shouldn’t let your ex contact you whenever his or her heart desires. You must remember that your ex lost feelings and interest and replaced you with someone else. This new person is your ex’s top priority, so don’t tolerate your ex’s reach-outs and hope that your ex comes back. Instead of letting your ex treat you like a friend, consider his or her reach-outs as breadcrumbs and prevent your ex from messing with your heart.
You can do that by cutting your ex off, distancing yourself from your ex, and allowing your ex to focus on his or her spouse instead of you. Your ex must be left alone to prioritize his or her new relationship and see what life is like with that person. That’s the only way your ex can compare you to his or her new partner and learn if leaving you was worth it.
If the new relationship is fulfilling or similar to yours, your ex won’t come back. Your ex won’t have a reason to return because your ex won’t have any regrets. Your ex will come back only if the new person turns out to be incompatible and makes your ex realize your value.
My ex is married, and I still love him/her
It’s normal to still have feelings for your ex, especially an ex who recently became your ex. His or her getting married doesn’t stop you from having strong romantic feelings and expectations. If anything, it increases them because it hurts you and makes you feel insignificant.
Despite feeling miserable and not wanting their relationship to progress, it’s important not to meddle with it. Your ex has made his or her decision, and you must do your best to respect it. You must show that you respect yourself and won’t go cause a scene.
Do this by starting a no contact period. No contact will let your ex focus on the new person and preserve your value as an ex. It won’t instantly change your ex’s feelings, but it will make it easier for you to keep your sanity and stop comparing yourself to your ex’s new partner.
The sooner you stop talking to your ex, the sooner you can expect to recover emotionally and leave the past behind. Your feelings will wane with time. It won’t happen overnight because breakups leave a void in the dumpee’s chest, but if you handle the breakup gracefully, you’ll stop caring about your ex and start caring about yourself.
Your life will become a priority, urging you to focus on your happiness, growth, and sense of accomplishment.
So don’t think that you’ll stay in love with your married ex forever. As soon as you detach and start seeing things from a more rational standpoint, you’ll stop craving your ex’s recognition and thinking that you can’t do better than your ex.
The truth is, you currently don’t want anyone different. You want only your ex to love you and complete you. This means that you’re still attached to your ex and need more time to detach.
Give it time, and you’ll see that you deserve someone better. Someone who sees your value, loves you, and can’t get enough of you. Of course, don’t date because you’re not ready for a new romantic connection. Date only when you’re over your ex and don’t care whether your ex is single, in a relationship, or married.
Did your ex get married only months after the breakup? How many months did it take for your ex to get married? Share your experiences below.
However, if you’re looking for help with your ex, feel free to subscribe to 1-on-1 coaching with us here.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Thanks for this article.
My ex and I were together for 8 years. I loved him deeply and fought for him and the relationship. I was 12 years older than him and also a different religion, which was not important to us but very important to his family.
In a lot of ways, the relationship was good. We got along well and rarely argued. We shared similar interests and hobbies. I felt at peace with him and he expressed the same for me.
On the other hand, he was not a good communicator. He was selfish with his time and money, especially at the end. He rarely left our apartment and never made an effort in the relationship, despite telling me he was happy.
At one point he broke it off and then begged me to come back. That was just 3 months before he left for good. He told me his parents put pressure on him to marry someone younger and have children but he was not going to give in.
In the end, his family won. He broke up with me and married a very Jewish girl with the same first name as me. Just 5 months after he left. I suspect it may have been arranged because there would have been no opportunity for him to meet her while we were together. He never left the apartment and spent his free time playing video games.
Although we haven’t spoken in months, I’m deeply troubled. I have regret over wasting so much time. I feel doubts about my self worth. I feel taken advantage of. Mostly I feel deep sadness that I couldn’t make it work.
My only solace is the l that at this point, the girl doesn’t know about his odd behavior, selfish tendencies and inability to discuss difficult things. The mother will probably dictate much of the marriage and they will both be miserable for eternity.
I have since met a man who is the complete polar opposite of my ex. I’m going to focus on him and re-read this article when I’m feeling down.
-Rebecca
Hi Rebecca.
I know it’s tough, but ask yourself if you were happy staying with a guy whose family disapproved of you. They wanted someone younger for him and pressured him for so long that he eventually became doubtful and caved into their demands.
Focus on his bad traits and you’ll pull through this!
Zan
My ex and I were in love, and he was genuinely nice to me. I didn’t think of him in any negative way, and I never wanted to invade his privacy. I trusted him enough that I never suspected anything towards him at all. So, we were together, and he is the type to be emotional about certain things, gets jealous, and understands things in a different way. I was willing to sacrifice because something about me loved who he is from the inside. I used to get excited to call him and receive his calls, and I would visit him as much as I could whenever I got the chance because I loved and cared for him. I knew he made poor decisions in life, so I would worry about him, even though I’m not his mother.
One day, while I was visiting, he told me he didn’t think of marriage until he’s 34, and I had just turned 26. But I understood why he wanted to get married late. He had nothing going for himself—no savings, no green card yet—and had been in the USA for 8 years. On top of that, he was living with his sister and still couldn’t afford his own place.
So, one day, it was August 4, a Friday. I was at my uncle’s visiting, and I was so excited to share the news about my sister’s gender reveal party. I tried calling him numerous times that day, and he never picked up (It was his off day from work). He finally did, and guess what? He was rude and aggressive. I always put up with his attitude, and I respect when he tells me he doesn’t feel like talking. So I told him to call me when he can talk to me properly. He was posting Snapchat stories, so I was responding to them just normally like I always do. Later that day, he called me, saying how many times I told you not to call me, and he was yelling, cursing me out, and telling me how he hates me. He hates everything he did with me, regrets helping me, and told me he can’t believe I have a dirty heart like this. It was hurtful words, and I was still asking for forgiveness. I was in such a vulnerable place, and I didn’t want him to be sad, but then I was going back at the chat to see the messages, and they were beyond hurtful; they were absurd. When I was crying on the phone, he told me, “Yes, yes, cry while I laugh at you.” I wanted to speak with him, and he blocked me from everywhere. I tried reaching out to his family and friends to show that I care, but it turns out he immediately met someone else, and they met online on August 7, which was two days after our breakup. My younger cousin mentioned to me that there has to be a girl in this, and his friends were like, “Who breaks up with someone that they just called, etc.” I was beyond heartbroken, obviously, and no one leaves someone they truly love for a phone call.
Anyways, long story short, he traveled to her on October 27, and that was the first time they met in real life. The next day, he got a tattoo of the day he met her. I heard the news that he got married two weeks ago, which was around November 26 or something like that. But days after, I heard he couldn’t get a job or something like that and asked to go back to his sister’s family to work. But he never disclosed this marriage information with his family yet. I was the one who leaked it to them, and they thought I was lying. But I mentioned to them that the entire street knows; everyone knows about him and his marriage, etc. It turns out only his family had no idea !
Hi G.
He was probably mean to you because of his personality and also because he’d met someone new. He couldn’t focus and invest in you when you called him and stopped him from from bonding, so he got angry and tried to push you away. He had no regret for what he’d done and no empathy. A guy like that is of no use to you. If you talk to him, he’ll only play the victim and hurt you. Things won’t go as smoothly for him as they first seemed.
Best regards,
Zan
Hello Zan,
Thanks for every single word in this valuable article.
I would like to know what did my ex mean by this sentence , when I askend her for closure:” I love you but I cannot marry you. It’s for your benefit as for mine as well. You will get the meaning of that later, but not now.”!!
Thanks in advance
Hi Hannibal.
It means she didn’t love you. Some people throw the word “love” around so casually without understanding what it actually means. They like to give cryptic responses so as not to be too direct and hurt the person they left. They’d rather not say anything.
Sincerely,
Zan
Thanks my dear. I do appreciate that.
Don’t mention it, Hannibal.
I wish you all the best!
Zan
My ex blindsided me when he broke up with me by text. we were together 5 years.. I wanted to work it out and neve could under stand why he would not. We have not been together for 8 months. He just got married I found out to a woman that I asked him about last year as they were texting each other.. He said it was an old friend of his.. I found there were friends and he was always in love with her.
Hi Catherine.
The guy emotionally connected with another woman while you were still together. He essentially cheated and monkey-branched to be with her. I know you’ve been through a lot, but try to let him go. He’s not worth the trouble.
Kind regards,
Zan
Got you beat by one. After over 16 years together and blindsided by being unceremoniously dumped, he started a new relationship with someone he met 2 months later. 2.5 months into their new relationship and she’s pregnant (just pregnant, like 6-8 weeks). So, to sum up 4.5 months after a 16+year relationship he’s in a new one and she’s pregnant.
My ex monkey branched me 2 months ago for a old flame from 40 years ago after a 7 year relationship that included me taking her through cancer. No easy task and I was tossed like garbage. Literally he moved in the day after I left. It was a ruthless and vile breakup and I was blindsided like one can’t believe. 2 weeks later she pledged all her equity in her home to him and they bought a new house 2 weeks later. Now they are getting married.
It has to be the most insane thing I can try to comprehend. I never make rash decisions, I am a risk taker but this is all just crazy.
So for anyone feeling bad over a ex, let it go. I grieve like hell at times but a good therapist helps a lot and helps you realize things about yourself and her that you didn’t realize. For example I now realize she is essentially a narcissist with histrionic traits. Extremely charming (magnetic) and selfish people. Always acting on emotions and impulsive. It explains why every relationship she has had has failed miserably.
So learn who your ex really was. You may, like me, learn the person you loved was just an illusion and was just looking for the next best thing.
Hi DT.
I feel your pain. What your ex did was horrible and unforgiving. Not only did she forget all you’ve done for her, but she also betrayed you by monkey-branching with some other guy. She did that so casually as if you were just a toy.
I hope you see her for the person she is and use that image of her to get over her.
Stay strong, DT!
Best regards,
Zan
My ex recently married 2 months after our breakup.but before she did she asked me to go online in America and find out why her fiance paid to get across the from the USA to mexico.obvious I told her.but I did research anyway.to make a long story short.he had four counts of promotion of child pornography and attempted aggravated sexual assault of a child.she has an 8yeay old daughter.have a nice marriage.
Geesh, can’t make stuff up. My ex lasted 3 months before she learned he had 2 wives in two countries. LMAO.
Hey DT,
I know exactly what you’re going through. Sounds a lot like what my ex fiancé/wife did to me after 5 years but it wasn’t with an old flame. It was a new person. It wasn’t but about a month after we split and sold our home that she was in another relationship. Her and the new guy seem to be engaged or even married after only being “official” for about 6 months. Their relationship has moved at such a high rate of speed. They are even living together as well. I believe she’s a narcissist/sociopath.
Mines new relationship went south after 3 months. He was a overbearing narcissist who pushed her into things and turns out not only wasn’t he divorced but had a domestic partner in another country and a legal union. It’s such a convoluted story you can’t even make this stuff up. Alas, she called me for lunch one day and so I agreed, curious as to what the hell was going on and she told me the entire story and profusely apologized for the way she treated me. He made a complete fool of her and she realized I had been good for her.
I say this because I contributed to the demise by being a insane workaholic and quite frankly, she was lonely. Had she come to me with that I would have changed but she blind sided me and treated me like dirt only to find the grass wasn’t greener, it was poison Ivy.
So we talk now and see each other occasionally, she is still single going on 6 months later. She wants to try again but I doubt I can ever forget the way I was treated and her having moved another man in 2 days after I was forced out. One can forgive but never forget.
Yes, I still love her but my advice is let it go. I’m moving out of state for a new start. She broke my heart into a thousand pieces, I know how you feel. It’s a bad situation but seeking help from a very competent therapist has helped me greatly. Betrayal causes deep scars.
Best of luck. Healing is a very slow and lonely process…
My exes new relationship seems to be going great. It’s hard for me to just let go when we have a kid together. There are times where I am hoping the relationship fails just so I can get an I told you so moment. We had everything together and I did so much for her but then she just jumped shipped and was in a new relationship within a month. Already engaged and living together after 6 months of being together. It took us at least 2 years to get to that point. Sometimes I feel like it’s a slap in the face but this may just really be how she is.
Glad to hear yours reached out. Just take it slow and build things back up. I don’t ever foresee mine wanting to rekindle things and then again I don’t know if I would want to even if she did by that point.
Best of luck. Healing is hard and lonely.
My ex and baby’s father went to visit his brothers in Florida 4 weeks ago. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and we’ve been fighting over the stupidest things… recently in our fights he would say that he’s on his last straw that he can’t fight with me anymore, honestly the fights were so stupid that I thought he was just being dramatic or trying to get his way. I blamed myself because of my hormones and my new lifestyle of trying to be a mom on why I fought with him about money or baby stuff. His dad just passed away and I honestly could have been there more for him, but he didn’t seem to be upset about it. He mentioned an old high school friend contacted him with her condolences and I guess they rekindled their friendship– I mentioned I didn’t feel too comfortable with it, but I didn’t say anything about it again. When he left on his trip 4 weeks ago, we fought over something so small… he said he was done with our relationship. I panicked. I begged for him to come home so we can fix our relationship, he refused. I was so confused and broken. I later found out that he blocked me a month before his trip on social medias, so he can post about her. He said he loved her that she makes him feel happy and he’s even happier that she’s the one doing it. I’ve tried to keep my distance since then. Begging for someone to love me after I gave so much to him, hurt. He gets upset with me about not updating him on the baby’s progress and I tell him, he chose this life for us… sometimes he will miss out on things like doctors appointments and ultrasounds, it’s just how it is now. He calls me to talk about the baby and his new life. It feels good to talk with him about our little girl, like before he left, but then he talks about his new girlfriend and it kills me. He told me he was going to marry her before our baby gets here (2 months). I’m confused. He lied and I’m just so confused that it was all a lie, from the day he met me to the day he left me. He wants her to be there when our baby is born. He says for me not to worry because his new fiance doesn’t want to get in the way or step on my toes… but it’s honestly a little too late for that, I wish she gave so much consideration to our relationship before. I tell him I’m happy for him, I’m happy that he found someone who understands him. It hurts and burns my tongue. I wish with all my heart that he changes his mind. I wish it so much. I relied on him for so long to be there for me to keep me from falling down, it’s so hard to be so alone and see him so happy and already moving on.
Hi Anonymous.
Because it hurts seeing him move on so quickly, you have to stop contacting him and him contacting you. You’ve got to live separate lives and talk only about the baby. If you keep him in his life, he’ll add unnecessary stress and frustration to you and that could affect your and your baby’s health.
I suggest that you cut your ex off even if you want to be with him. It won’t be easy, but once you detach from him, you’ll notice that you don’t need him and that you deserve someone better.
Kind regards,
Zan
We were together 11 years in November, all if a sudden he took a week off from work and went to visit his family ten hours away ( or so I thought) then came back and said he was goi g to move there because of a lot of chaos at our home, my daughter is a meth addict (34) and my son has addiction issues they were always around causing havoc, so we spent the week together as a couple and Friday morning came he wa soaking toeless me he’d most likely be back before the snow, kissing me calling me babe, now for the fun part three weeks later I see a pic of him with a new gf on his lap, she was a mutual friend that lives very close to where he said he was going and they are woth his whole family, then I hear this week they are engaged, all within four weeks the kicker though is he still has a wife from before me two children woth her and two older children woth another but he is still married so he can’t really be serious can he??? If he reaches out to get divorce she will come after him full force for child support which hasn’t paid they are 17 and 14 like what the hell is he thinking and what the hell is his nee supply thinking. I’m sure he’s told her it was something he would brag about, I can’t even wrap my head around this one
Hi Kathy.
It seems that your ex is on the move again. He’s going to the next person, thinking she’s the one. He’s basically chasing highs in his life—and he’s going to have to pay the price for it. The fact that he’s planning on getting married to someone he just started a relationship with is a huge red flag. It’s a sign that he’s rushing (acting on emotions) and that they have a lot to figure out.
They might not work well together when the infatuation phase ends, so it wasn’t his wisest decision if you ask me.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thank you for that, he was still
Telling me he’d be back it’s makes no sense to me at all I can’t wrap my head around it and I’m really struggling… he still has a wife from way before that he never divorced, two kids form that relationship that he hasn’t paid for so he’s going to have a difficult time getting a divorce… he’s not working yet I don’t think he’s just living at her house and she’s sooooo in love
Hi Kathy.
I think he just gave you an excuse (lied) because he didn’t know what else to say. He knew he messed up badly, so don’t take him seriously anymore. If you still communicate with him, don’t do it anymore. Explain that you need space and that you wish him nothing but the best of luck.
Keep in mind that the woman won’t be in love forever. She’ll get through the love stage soon and see him for who he is.
Stay strong, Kathy!
Zan
My ex and I officially broke up 9 months ago. Shortly after, she started coming around again, and seemed to be wanting to fix things. She did great for a few months, but started getting busy with college exams. This was understandable. But she seemed to be focused on some issues, and started asking questions about the chances of us getting back together, and if I would have an issue with her asking me out again, like she’d done when we first started dating. Things were going okay, until she started a new job and she had to travel more. She was more distant due to being tired from her schedule. Again, understandable. Gradually contact becomes less and less, until one day she decides to finally come by after a month of not seeing each other. She caught me on a bad day, and her behavior was all over the place. One second, she’s the girl I fell in love with and planned to marry, then she’s the girl that I broke up with, then she’s back to wanting me to treat her like I’m her boyfriend again. It was too much for me after the day I’d had, and I snapped a bit. I admittedly shut down. Not my brightest moment. This was 2 months ago. She continued to message me once a week for 3 weeks, as though she was feeling me out. Then she went silent, 3 weeks ago. 5 days ago, she pops back up married to an ex from high school. No notice, no ceremony, nothing. Just a Facebook post saying she was married. I was floored. Honestly this reminds me of when she moved in with her rebound 2 months after our first break up, just on a more severe level. I honestly don’t know what to make of this situation. The new husband has already had issues with us sharing a Netflix and Hulu, that I was paying for. So that is no longer a thing. She’s gone silent altogether as of 3 days ago. But the last time she messaged me, she seemed to have realized the consequences her actions now had on us. Essentially “I understand if you don’t want to…. anymore.” My mind is blown. I’m just trying to respect her decision, which was actually the last thing I messaged her back.
Hi Jonathan.
Your ex has the tendency to rush things. That’s why she got married to her ex on impulse, thinking everything will be fine. It’s possible she’s chasing the highs in life without addressing her lack of willpower and commitment.
If this is the case, eventually, she’ll run out of highs and face her issues.
Stay strong,
Zan
Isn’t this what Jasmine did to that black guy and never told her husband? Julie has been all over her social media. Someone snitched bro. Told you these white people are racist.
Me and my ex was engaged for a year dating for 2, my ex and I broke up a day after our anniversary and the next day got with dude and cheated on him twice already before they got married, and it’s been 4 months. Now she doing everything she can to do something to get my attention when I run into her, she calls my job telling my boss she see me around doing my job, she flicks me off, she and her husband smerk when they see me. So Idk what any of that means. But he got a past and they hardly knew each other. But she use to dog him and saying it’s hard to have sex cuz he has no teeth and he’s 33, and lost it cuz drugs. And I treated her like a queen.
I was with mine 4.5 years and he told me he wanted to marry me but couldn’t afford a ring. A month later he breaks up with me. 6 weeks later he meets someone new and they get engaged two months later. On the day which would have been our 5 year anniversary he marries HER! Dated three months and now they’re marred!!!
My ex and I dated for 3 years, it’s been 4 years since the breakup, and it was extremely devastating; literally never felt such pain in my life. We’re both in our own respective relationships with other people for a couple years now, and I found out news he got married quickly into his relationship – only a year later I figured that was true since I’ve been blocking him out mentally, emotionally, and not in anyway trying to know what he’s doing social media wise, etc… my attempt at moving on. Years later tho he messages me out of the blue (he’s been married a year at this point) and “apologizes about how bad our breakup was and wanted to check up on me” but really to sum up why he’s even reaching out to me is about the sex we had in the past and if I missed it too (not surprised he’d bring that up). He kept deflecting his relationship status, and trying to figure out mine. But he wasn’t willing to be open that he’s a married man. He admits that he’s been trying to avoid any contact with me as well, since if he starts to look at photos it’ll provoke him. It really makes me think that is his wife not meeting his sexual needs? He knows he goes down this path of thinking about me in that way often, and he has to be the one to figure that out since he really is committed to his current relationship, and at this point I don’t know if he’ll stop thinking about it.