If your ex got married only months after the breakup, then something doesn’t feel right.
There’s no way your ex could have met the love of his or her life so quickly as it’s impossible to get to know another person inside out after just 2 or 3 months.
Your ex would need at least 4-6 months to get past the honeymoon stages of a rebound relationship. And even then your ex wouldn’t know the real personality traits of his or her husband or wife.
That’s why it’s safe to say that your ex had a blind marriage. Your ex basically refused to try his or her spouse on for compatibility and married a complete stranger.
Your ex probably liked the new person and married him or her for the attraction and chemistry. They must have gotten along fairly well and probably had a lot in common.
But just because your ex likes the newness and the attraction of a new person, it doesn’t mean that this relationship is the best for your ex.
At least not until he or she lives the married life and meets the hidden side of his or her spouse.
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup and you’re feeling anxious as a result, you might find some solace in this article.
My ex got married only months after the breakup
It always hurts to see your ex dating someone else right after the breakup. It especially hurts when you see your ex get engaged or married while you’re still in love with him or her.
But when you hear about your ex marrying someone new a month, 2, or 3 after the breakup, that’s a whole different story.
Since you’re likely still in love with your ex despite him or her getting married, the first thing you must do is remember not to panic.
As a matter of fact, try not to feel jealous, envious or hurt either.
As a dumpee, remember that you don’t have any control over your ex’s actions and that it’s okay.
It’s your ex who’s getting himself or herself into something completely unknown without thinking things through.
Your ex doesn’t even know his or her partner’s habits, characteristics, family and everything a married person should know.
All your ex knows is that he or she is currently feeling happy and that your ex wants to live with his or her partner.
And that’s pretty much it.
If your ex got married only months after the breakup, I can tell you that your ex had made a life-long commitment without discussing some important topics first.
These topics are about the kids, jobs, education, goals and ambitions, family, plans for the future, and a million other things that a married couple should discuss.
Sure, your ex and his or her spouse could have talked about these things once or twice, but that’s not good enough. Not when they’re in an infatuated, elated state and they’re going to (presumably) spend the rest of their lives together.
Your ex made an emotional decision
Every wise person knows that couples shouldn’t rush with marriage until they’ve discussed their preferences and dislikes.
If they follow their elated instincts and rush with marriage, the couple risks falling apart quicker than they got together.
This often occurs because most people in love portray themselves in the best light possible. They pretend to be somebody they’re not until they lower their guard and show their true colors.
When they do, the new relationship either makes it or suffers a terrible death.
And that’s essentially your ex’s worst nightmare.
Since your ex expects his or her marriage to be as strong as it is right now, he or she could be setting himself or herself up for disappointment.
Your ex doesn’t realize that it’s impossible to stay excited about love and romance forever.
A self-aware couple can flourish and keep the relationship fresh, of course, but to keep their marriage alive just because they are feeling attracted toward each other is never going to happen.
Your ex is currently obsessed due to the intense love emotions he or she is receiving from being loved and adored.
But the moment these love emotions normalize, your ex will feel no better than when he or she is reading a newspaper.
Why did my ex get married only months after the breakup?
Infatuated relationships usually don’t last. This is no mystery.
Couples that are overly interested in each other from day one have something going on with their lives.
And I don’t mean this in a good way.
Couples are usually overly excited about their new relationship when they:
- just got out of a long-term/toxic relationship
- have low self-esteem
- rely on strong physical attraction
So if your ex got married only months after the breakup, your ex could be so eager for an emotional connection that he or she over depends on his or her spouse (and vice versa).
Quickly, overdependency could form and the married couple could wear each other out.
Your ex and his or her new married partner could both burn with such intensity, they would steal each other’s air and suffocate from a lack of space and understanding.
People make promises and commitments when they are happy
Your ex probably promised you the world and said that he or she never felt so happy, loved, or strongly about anyone before.
That’s because a happy, lovestruck person will often say and do things based on what he or she is feeling at that particular moment.
This implies that when your ex loved you, he or she expressed his or her feelings to you. And when your ex argued with you, your ex also showed you what he or she felt. Your ex just didn’t appear too happy about it.
The same goes for your ex marrying someone new only months after the breakup.
Your ex is essentially reflecting his or her thoughts, feelings, and needs onto his or her new spouse. And the ironic thing is that your ex doesn’t even know that his or her elated state will eventually end.
When it does, your ex will get hit with the realization that keeping his or her promises and commitments will require some effort.
If relationships were as easy as falling in love, there would only be “ever afters.” But relationships and marriages are far from being easy.
Nearly 80% of couples break up and about half the population divorces.
So if you’re worrying over your ex’s everlasting happiness, you’re wasting your time and emotions. You may as well not do that because you know your ex’s marriage won’t be all magical.
There will be challenges and issues that most couples encounter. So it would be ridiculous to think that your ex is going to skip them.
Your ex just has to wait long enough to get to them.
It’s a gamble when your ex marries quickly
Couples in the early stages of a new relationship often say things that the other person wants to hear. They do it because they want to impress each other.
But they shouldn’t because their true colors will eventually be revealed when they get to know each other. They just need to get accustomed to each other so much that they begin to take each other for granted.
When they do, it won’t matter how strong their love and passion toward each other is.
If the basis for a healthy romantic relationship is lacking, love cannot sustain the difficulties that come its way.
So when your ex starts facing these relationship challenges, the reality of the situation will slowly seep in. And that’s when trust, love, and respect will be put to the test.
Your ex wasn’t thinking when he or she got married
In my opinion, anybody who gets married or makes plans to marry another person immediately after the breakup can’t be in his or her right mind.
They can’t be when they’re doing something so big just because they feel strongly about it.
In my defense, I doubt I’m the only person who prefers to get to know my partner before I take an arrow to the knee.
If I acted merely on my heart’s desire, I wouldn’t know what I’m signing up for and might regret getting married before I even get to know my partner’s parents.
In all honesty, I usually don’t even learn my partner’s last name in the first three months.
But to marry my partner after 2 or 3 months after my breakup, something would seriously have to be wrong with me.
It goes without saying that if I married my exes on impulse, I would have been unhappy and miserable beyond rational comprehension. My exes would be unhappy, my children would suffer, our families would fight, and even the cats would run away from home.
Without sounding too pessimistic, I can almost see my imaginary impulsive marriage in flames, tears, and suffering.
I see this now, but did I back then?
I didn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t even if I wanted to because I was in love.
So chances are your ex is headed for the same fate.
He or she just doesn’t know it yet.
When your ex gets married so quickly, your ex doesn’t know what he or she is getting into
Here’s a question from me to you. “How much could your ex possibly know about his or her partner before marrying him or her?
Provided your ex is somewhat busy and doesn’t have 24 hours a day to dedicate to his or her partnerāmy guess is not much. Your ex probably doesn’t even know his or her spouse’s favorite food, let alone his or her goals and ambitions.
When your ex marries his or her partner only months after the breakup, your ex is essentially marrying the best side of that person.
The bad, dark side is still hiding and doesn’t come out to play until much later.
That’s why your ex’s relationship/marriage could be over before it even started.
So don’t wish bad luck on your ex’s marriage. It’s not worth it when your ex could use all the luck he or she could get.
My ex got married but still contacts me
If your ex got married but still contacts you, your ex probably thinks of you as his or her friend and relies on you for emotional support and boredom.
He or she still considers you to be “of use,” so your ex contacts you to extort something from you.
This could be anything from attention, care, support, validation or anything a married person shouldn’t ask from his or her ex-partner.
This kind of behavior likely hurts you and makes you sad. That’s why the best thing for you to do is to distance yourself from your ex and allow him or her to focus on his or her spouse.
Once your ex does, he or she will lose your support and focus fully on matters at hand.
And if your ex’s marriage is falling apart, your absence and a lack of support will probably indirectly encourage your ex to end the marriage sooner.
My ex is married and I still love him
You may still love your married ex and might want to sleep with your ex, but your ex likely doesn’t because, well… he or she is married. Your ex is probably in love with his or her spouse right now so your ex wants to keep it that way for the time being.
And if by some chance your ex does want to get intimate with you, then something’s not right with his or her marriage.
Your ex’s marriage is likely dead alreadyāso your ex, as a result, craves the excitement that he or she had with you.
If that’s what’s happening and you love your ex despite him or her being married, I strongly suggest you focus on rebuilding the connection and attraction with your ex.
You can do this by emotionally and physically fulfilling your ex’s wants and needs and show your ex that the improved version of yourself can do much better than your old one.
Did your ex get married only months after the breakup? How many months has it been since your breakup? Leave a comment below this article.
My ex and I were in love, and he was genuinely nice to me. I didn’t think of him in any negative way, and I never wanted to invade his privacy. I trusted him enough that I never suspected anything towards him at all. So, we were together, and he is the type to be emotional about certain things, gets jealous, and understands things in a different way. I was willing to sacrifice because something about me loved who he is from the inside. I used to get excited to call him and receive his calls, and I would visit him as much as I could whenever I got the chance because I loved and cared for him. I knew he made poor decisions in life, so I would worry about him, even though I’m not his mother.
One day, while I was visiting, he told me he didn’t think of marriage until he’s 34, and I had just turned 26. But I understood why he wanted to get married late. He had nothing going for himselfāno savings, no green card yetāand had been in the USA for 8 years. On top of that, he was living with his sister and still couldn’t afford his own place.
So, one day, it was August 4, a Friday. I was at my uncle’s visiting, and I was so excited to share the news about my sister’s gender reveal party. I tried calling him numerous times that day, and he never picked up (It was his off day from work). He finally did, and guess what? He was rude and aggressive. I always put up with his attitude, and I respect when he tells me he doesn’t feel like talking. So I told him to call me when he can talk to me properly. He was posting Snapchat stories, so I was responding to them just normally like I always do. Later that day, he called me, saying how many times I told you not to call me, and he was yelling, cursing me out, and telling me how he hates me. He hates everything he did with me, regrets helping me, and told me he can’t believe I have a dirty heart like this. It was hurtful words, and I was still asking for forgiveness. I was in such a vulnerable place, and I didn’t want him to be sad, but then I was going back at the chat to see the messages, and they were beyond hurtful; they were absurd. When I was crying on the phone, he told me, “Yes, yes, cry while I laugh at you.” I wanted to speak with him, and he blocked me from everywhere. I tried reaching out to his family and friends to show that I care, but it turns out he immediately met someone else, and they met online on August 7, which was two days after our breakup. My younger cousin mentioned to me that there has to be a girl in this, and his friends were like, “Who breaks up with someone that they just called, etc.” I was beyond heartbroken, obviously, and no one leaves someone they truly love for a phone call.
Anyways, long story short, he traveled to her on October 27, and that was the first time they met in real life. The next day, he got a tattoo of the day he met her. I heard the news that he got married two weeks ago, which was around November 26 or something like that. But days after, I heard he couldn’t get a job or something like that and asked to go back to his sister’s family to work. But he never disclosed this marriage information with his family yet. I was the one who leaked it to them, and they thought I was lying. But I mentioned to them that the entire street knows; everyone knows about him and his marriage, etc. It turns out only his family had no idea !
Hi G.
He was probably mean to you because of his personality and also because he’d met someone new. He couldn’t focus and invest in you when you called him and stopped him from from bonding, so he got angry and tried to push you away. He had no regret for what he’d done and no empathy. A guy like that is of no use to you. If you talk to him, he’ll only play the victim and hurt you. Things won’t go as smoothly for him as they first seemed.
Best regards,
Zan
Hello Zan,
Thanks for every single word in this valuable article.
I would like to know what did my ex mean by this sentence , when I askend her for closure:” I love you but I cannot marry you. It’s for your benefit as for mine as well. You will get the meaning of that later, but not now.”!!
Thanks in advance
Hi Hannibal.
It means she didn’t love you. Some people throw the word “love” around so casually without understanding what it actually means. They like to give cryptic responses so as not to be too direct and hurt the person they left. They’d rather not say anything.
Sincerely,
Zan
Thanks my dear. I do appreciate that.
Don’t mention it, Hannibal.
I wish you all the best!
Zan
My ex blindsided me when he broke up with me by text. we were together 5 years.. I wanted to work it out and neve could under stand why he would not. We have not been together for 8 months. He just got married I found out to a woman that I asked him about last year as they were texting each other.. He said it was an old friend of his.. I found there were friends and he was always in love with her.
Hi Catherine.
The guy emotionally connected with another woman while you were still together. He essentially cheated and monkey-branched to be with her. I know you’ve been through a lot, but try to let him go. He’s not worth the trouble.
Kind regards,
Zan
Got you beat by one. After over 16 years together and blindsided by being unceremoniously dumped, he started a new relationship with someone he met 2 months later. 2.5 months into their new relationship and sheās pregnant (just pregnant, like 6-8 weeks). So, to sum up 4.5 months after a 16+year relationship heās in a new one and sheās pregnant.
My ex monkey branched me 2 months ago for a old flame from 40 years ago after a 7 year relationship that included me taking her through cancer. No easy task and I was tossed like garbage. Literally he moved in the day after I left. It was a ruthless and vile breakup and I was blindsided like one can’t believe. 2 weeks later she pledged all her equity in her home to him and they bought a new house 2 weeks later. Now they are getting married.
It has to be the most insane thing I can try to comprehend. I never make rash decisions, I am a risk taker but this is all just crazy.
So for anyone feeling bad over a ex, let it go. I grieve like hell at times but a good therapist helps a lot and helps you realize things about yourself and her that you didn’t realize. For example I now realize she is essentially a narcissist with histrionic traits. Extremely charming (magnetic) and selfish people. Always acting on emotions and impulsive. It explains why every relationship she has had has failed miserably.
So learn who your ex really was. You may, like me, learn the person you loved was just an illusion and was just looking for the next best thing.
Hi DT.
I feel your pain. What your ex did was horrible and unforgiving. Not only did she forget all you’ve done for her, but she also betrayed you by monkey-branching with some other guy. She did that so casually as if you were just a toy.
I hope you see her for the person she is and use that image of her to get over her.
Stay strong, DT!
Best regards,
Zan
My ex recently married 2 months after our breakup.but before she did she asked me to go online in America and find out why her fiance paid to get across the from the USA to mexico.obvious I told her.but I did research anyway.to make a long story short.he had four counts of promotion of child pornography and attempted aggravated sexual assault of a child.she has an 8yeay old daughter.have a nice marriage.
Geesh, can’t make stuff up. My ex lasted 3 months before she learned he had 2 wives in two countries. LMAO.
Hey DT,
I know exactly what youāre going through. Sounds a lot like what my ex fiancĆ©/wife did to me after 5 years but it wasnāt with an old flame. It was a new person. It wasnāt but about a month after we split and sold our home that she was in another relationship. Her and the new guy seem to be engaged or even married after only being āofficialā for about 6 months. Their relationship has moved at such a high rate of speed. They are even living together as well. I believe sheās a narcissist/sociopath.
Mines new relationship went south after 3 months. He was a overbearing narcissist who pushed her into things and turns out not only wasn’t he divorced but had a domestic partner in another country and a legal union. It’s such a convoluted story you can’t even make this stuff up. Alas, she called me for lunch one day and so I agreed, curious as to what the hell was going on and she told me the entire story and profusely apologized for the way she treated me. He made a complete fool of her and she realized I had been good for her.
I say this because I contributed to the demise by being a insane workaholic and quite frankly, she was lonely. Had she come to me with that I would have changed but she blind sided me and treated me like dirt only to find the grass wasn’t greener, it was poison Ivy.
So we talk now and see each other occasionally, she is still single going on 6 months later. She wants to try again but I doubt I can ever forget the way I was treated and her having moved another man in 2 days after I was forced out. One can forgive but never forget.
Yes, I still love her but my advice is let it go. I’m moving out of state for a new start. She broke my heart into a thousand pieces, I know how you feel. It’s a bad situation but seeking help from a very competent therapist has helped me greatly. Betrayal causes deep scars.
Best of luck. Healing is a very slow and lonely process…
My exes new relationship seems to be going great. Itās hard for me to just let go when we have a kid together. There are times where I am hoping the relationship fails just so I can get an I told you so moment. We had everything together and I did so much for her but then she just jumped shipped and was in a new relationship within a month. Already engaged and living together after 6 months of being together. It took us at least 2 years to get to that point. Sometimes I feel like itās a slap in the face but this may just really be how she is.
Glad to hear yours reached out. Just take it slow and build things back up. I donāt ever foresee mine wanting to rekindle things and then again I donāt know if I would want to even if she did by that point.
Best of luck. Healing is hard and lonely.
My ex and baby’s father went to visit his brothers in Florida 4 weeks ago. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and we’ve been fighting over the stupidest things… recently in our fights he would say that he’s on his last straw that he can’t fight with me anymore, honestly the fights were so stupid that I thought he was just being dramatic or trying to get his way. I blamed myself because of my hormones and my new lifestyle of trying to be a mom on why I fought with him about money or baby stuff. His dad just passed away and I honestly could have been there more for him, but he didn’t seem to be upset about it. He mentioned an old high school friend contacted him with her condolences and I guess they rekindled their friendship– I mentioned I didn’t feel too comfortable with it, but I didn’t say anything about it again. When he left on his trip 4 weeks ago, we fought over something so small… he said he was done with our relationship. I panicked. I begged for him to come home so we can fix our relationship, he refused. I was so confused and broken. I later found out that he blocked me a month before his trip on social medias, so he can post about her. He said he loved her that she makes him feel happy and he’s even happier that she’s the one doing it. I’ve tried to keep my distance since then. Begging for someone to love me after I gave so much to him, hurt. He gets upset with me about not updating him on the baby’s progress and I tell him, he chose this life for us… sometimes he will miss out on things like doctors appointments and ultrasounds, it’s just how it is now. He calls me to talk about the baby and his new life. It feels good to talk with him about our little girl, like before he left, but then he talks about his new girlfriend and it kills me. He told me he was going to marry her before our baby gets here (2 months). I’m confused. He lied and I’m just so confused that it was all a lie, from the day he met me to the day he left me. He wants her to be there when our baby is born. He says for me not to worry because his new fiance doesn’t want to get in the way or step on my toes… but it’s honestly a little too late for that, I wish she gave so much consideration to our relationship before. I tell him I’m happy for him, I’m happy that he found someone who understands him. It hurts and burns my tongue. I wish with all my heart that he changes his mind. I wish it so much. I relied on him for so long to be there for me to keep me from falling down, it’s so hard to be so alone and see him so happy and already moving on.
Hi Anonymous.
Because it hurts seeing him move on so quickly, you have to stop contacting him and him contacting you. You’ve got to live separate lives and talk only about the baby. If you keep him in his life, he’ll add unnecessary stress and frustration to you and that could affect your and your baby’s health.
I suggest that you cut your ex off even if you want to be with him. It won’t be easy, but once you detach from him, you’ll notice that you don’t need him and that you deserve someone better.
Kind regards,
Zan
We were together 11 years in November, all if a sudden he took a week off from work and went to visit his family ten hours away ( or so I thought) then came back and said he was goi g to move there because of a lot of chaos at our home, my daughter is a meth addict (34) and my son has addiction issues they were always around causing havoc, so we spent the week together as a couple and Friday morning came he wa soaking toeless me heād most likely be back before the snow, kissing me calling me babe, now for the fun part three weeks later I see a pic of him with a new gf on his lap, she was a mutual friend that lives very close to where he said he was going and they are woth his whole family, then I hear this week they are engaged, all within four weeks the kicker though is he still has a wife from before me two children woth her and two older children woth another but he is still married so he canāt really be serious can he??? If he reaches out to get divorce she will come after him full force for child support which hasnāt paid they are 17 and 14 like what the hell is he thinking and what the hell is his nee supply thinking. Iām sure heās told her it was something he would brag about, I canāt even wrap my head around this one
Hi Kathy.
It seems that your ex is on the move again. He’s going to the next person, thinking she’s the one. He’s basically chasing highs in his lifeāand he’s going to have to pay the price for it. The fact that he’s planning on getting married to someone he just started a relationship with is a huge red flag. It’s a sign that he’s rushing (acting on emotions) and that they have a lot to figure out.
They might not work well together when the infatuation phase ends, so it wasn’t his wisest decision if you ask me.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thank you for that, he was still
Telling me heād be back itās makes no sense to me at all I canāt wrap my head around it and Iām really strugglingā¦ he still has a wife from way before that he never divorced, two kids form that relationship that he hasnāt paid for so heās going to have a difficult time getting a divorceā¦ heās not working yet I donāt think heās just living at her house and sheās sooooo in love
Hi Kathy.
I think he just gave you an excuse (lied) because he didn’t know what else to say. He knew he messed up badly, so don’t take him seriously anymore. If you still communicate with him, don’t do it anymore. Explain that you need space and that you wish him nothing but the best of luck.
Keep in mind that the woman won’t be in love forever. She’ll get through the love stage soon and see him for who he is.
Stay strong, Kathy!
Zan
My ex and I officially broke up 9 months ago. Shortly after, she started coming around again, and seemed to be wanting to fix things. She did great for a few months, but started getting busy with college exams. This was understandable. But she seemed to be focused on some issues, and started asking questions about the chances of us getting back together, and if I would have an issue with her asking me out again, like she’d done when we first started dating. Things were going okay, until she started a new job and she had to travel more. She was more distant due to being tired from her schedule. Again, understandable. Gradually contact becomes less and less, until one day she decides to finally come by after a month of not seeing each other. She caught me on a bad day, and her behavior was all over the place. One second, she’s the girl I fell in love with and planned to marry, then she’s the girl that I broke up with, then she’s back to wanting me to treat her like I’m her boyfriend again. It was too much for me after the day I’d had, and I snapped a bit. I admittedly shut down. Not my brightest moment. This was 2 months ago. She continued to message me once a week for 3 weeks, as though she was feeling me out. Then she went silent, 3 weeks ago. 5 days ago, she pops back up married to an ex from high school. No notice, no ceremony, nothing. Just a Facebook post saying she was married. I was floored. Honestly this reminds me of when she moved in with her rebound 2 months after our first break up, just on a more severe level. I honestly don’t know what to make of this situation. The new husband has already had issues with us sharing a Netflix and Hulu, that I was paying for. So that is no longer a thing. She’s gone silent altogether as of 3 days ago. But the last time she messaged me, she seemed to have realized the consequences her actions now had on us. Essentially “I understand if you don’t want to…. anymore.” My mind is blown. I’m just trying to respect her decision, which was actually the last thing I messaged her back.
Hi Jonathan.
Your ex has the tendency to rush things. That’s why she got married to her ex on impulse, thinking everything will be fine. It’s possible she’s chasing the highs in life without addressing her lack of willpower and commitment.
If this is the case, eventually, she’ll run out of highs and face her issues.
Stay strong,
Zan
Isn’t this what Jasmine did to that black guy and never told her husband? Julie has been all over her social media. Someone snitched bro. Told you these white people are racist.
Me and my ex was engaged for a year dating for 2, my ex and I broke up a day after our anniversary and the next day got with dude and cheated on him twice already before they got married, and itās been 4 months. Now she doing everything she can to do something to get my attention when I run into her, she calls my job telling my boss she see me around doing my job, she flicks me off, she and her husband smerk when they see me. So Idk what any of that means. But he got a past and they hardly knew each other. But she use to dog him and saying itās hard to have sex cuz he has no teeth and heās 33, and lost it cuz drugs. And I treated her like a queen.
I was with mine 4.5 years and he told me he wanted to marry me but couldn’t afford a ring. A month later he breaks up with me. 6 weeks later he meets someone new and they get engaged two months later. On the day which would have been our 5 year anniversary he marries HER! Dated three months and now they’re marred!!!
My ex and I dated for 3 years, itās been 4 years since the breakup, and it was extremely devastating; literally never felt such pain in my life. Weāre both in our own respective relationships with other people for a couple years now, and I found out news he got married quickly into his relationship – only a year later I figured that was true since Iāve been blocking him out mentally, emotionally, and not in anyway trying to know what heās doing social media wise, etc… my attempt at moving on. Years later tho he messages me out of the blue (heās been married a year at this point) and āapologizes about how bad our breakup was and wanted to check up on meā but really to sum up why heās even reaching out to me is about the sex we had in the past and if I missed it too (not surprised heād bring that up). He kept deflecting his relationship status, and trying to figure out mine. But he wasnāt willing to be open that heās a married man. He admits that heās been trying to avoid any contact with me as well, since if he starts to look at photos itāll provoke him. It really makes me think that is his wife not meeting his sexual needs? He knows he goes down this path of thinking about me in that way often, and he has to be the one to figure that out since he really is committed to his current relationship, and at this point I donāt know if heāll stop thinking about it.