My Boyfriend Keeps Breaking Up With Me

If your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you and coming back, you have a sign that something fundamental is missing in your relationship. Something like patience, willpower, devotion, perseverance, trust, love, and respect. These are the basic things that your boyfriend has lost or nearly lost and couldn’t or didn’t want to redevelop.

He didn’t feel like redeveloping them because you’ve always accepted him back. You’ve let him know that you’ll always care about him, love him, and forgive him even though he’s hurt you and disrespected you numerous times before.

Since your boyfriend is aware of your eagerness to be with him, your boyfriend now abandons the relationship whenever he wants to. He knows that the doors are always open to him and that you’ll welcome him back with open arms. All he has to do to get on your good side is reach out to you and apologize for acting so dramatic.

If you wish to have a successful relationship with this person, the dynamics in your relationship have to change radically. They have to improve significantly otherwise your boyfriend is going to keep perceiving you in a way that he always has and eventually leave for good.

It may not be next time or even the time after that, but eventually, your boyfriend is going to get tired of being with you and run out of commitment for you. He’ll fancy something new. Something that will distract him, take his pain away, and make him feel wanted and respected as an equal.

The only way your flaky boyfriend can stay with you long-term is if he develops respect and becomes afraid of losing you. This is because respect and fear can help him realize that you’re valuable and that he has to try much harder to impress you and make you want to stay with him.

Right now, though, that isn’t happening. Your boyfriend has left you multiple times (more than once), which means that he isn’t afraid of losing you. His actions show that he’s operating from a place of power and discontent and that he’s going to latch on to that power and leave the moment he encounters doubts, stressors, or temptations.

That’s when your boyfriend will turn into a permanent ex-boyfriend and appear happy and relieved. Upon breaking up with you, his uncaring behavior will cause you painful separation anxiety and might even make you blame yourself for putting up with his indecisiveness for so long.

So if your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you and you don’t know what that means for you, keep in mind that things aren’t looking good for your relationship. You’re probably both at fault to some degree, but unless your boyfriend changes the way he feels about you, perceives you, and reacts to you, he’s eventually going to leave permanently.

He’s going to run out of patience and commitment, realize there’s no hope for the relationship, and separate from you for a very long time (possibly forever). If you still love your boyfriend and there’s something you can do to prevent a permanent breakup, I strongly recommend that you change your behavior immediately.

Ask your boyfriend what you can do to grow and improve your shortcomings and start working on yourself. When you’ve improved yourself and fixed the issues that your boyfriend wanted you to fix all this time, he technically shouldn’t have any more reasons for leaving. He should see that the problems are gone (or became less severe)—and have a much more caring attitude toward you.

He should turn back into the person you want him to be.

But if your boyfriend developed resentments and isn’t willing or capable of letting go of the past, then your boyfriend may not be able to process his anger and frustration and see your worth no matter how much you improve yourself.

Your boyfriend may stay as he is emotionally and soon break up with you for good.

The topic of this article is “My boyfriend keeps breaking up with me.” In this post, we’ll discuss why your boyfriend keeps leaving and coming back and what to do about it so that he either stays or leaves.

Why does my boyfriend keep breaking up with me?

When your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you, you need to understand that you aren’t dealing with a regular breakup. You’re dealing with a breakup that keeps recurring for the same unresolved reasons.

For reasons that you, your boyfriend, or both aren’t paying attention to. Instead of working on them as a couple or individually, you’re neglecting them and causing them to damage the relationship.

Because the relationship has been taking a beating for a while, your boyfriend has developed certain negative thinking and behavioral patterns as well as unhealthy opinions of you. He’s gotten tired of the way the relationship makes him feel and has trouble appreciating you and remembering why he fell in love with you in the first place.

There are just too many negative associations coursing through his veins that prevent him from being grateful and expressing gratitude.

This is why he keeps running out of patience and respect, gets upset with you, and then breaks up with you. The guy just doesn’t know how to maintain his relationship when emotions run high, so he does the only thing he can that makes him feel better.

He walks away from you, hurts you, and feels a bit better for a while.

A guy like this likely won’t keep up this unhealthy pattern of breaking up and running back to you forever. When he disconnects from you completely and finds his own strength (something internal or external to distract himself with), he’s most likely going to leave forever.

He’s going to forget about you and try his luck with someone else.

You may want to keep this in mind so that you don’t think that your boyfriend keeps coming back because he loves you and can’t live without you. It would be extremely naive to think that. It’s much healthier and safer for you to think that the guy is breaking up with you because he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions and associations. He gets choked by them, so he leaves to process them and comes back after he’s resolved them.

It wouldn’t be a problem if he stayed with you and said he needs a little bit of time to himself to distance himself from the problem and process his emotions. That would be a healthy way of dealing with intrusive thoughts and unwanted emotions such as anger.

But instead, your boyfriend is constantly breaking up with you which means that he’s associating a lot of bad emotions with you. He’s losing respect for you because he finds you responsible for the way he feels. And that’s just not good enough for you and the relationship.

It’s bad because uncontrolled thoughts and behavior almost always lead to a loss of interest and attraction. They cause a person (male or female) to cross a point of no return and break up with his partner. That’s when the dumper feels relieved and doesn’t think about getting back with his ex anymore.

In his mind, it’s over because he blames his ex for all the unhappiness and pain he went through during the relationship.

I want you to be aware of this so that you know that bad relationships don’t last forever. Most of them actually end with a very painful heartbreak. Remember this so that you know what to expect if things don’t improve soon.

Below, you can find 6 reasons why your boyfriend keeps breaking up with you.

Why does he break up and come back?

If your boyfriend keeps ending your relationship during arguments and disagreements and comes back days later, your boyfriend is doing that because he wants power and control. He wants you to know that he’s in control of the relationship and that you should behave in ways he wants you to behave.

If you don’t behave according to his wishes, he uses your care and commitment against you, hurts you, and manipulates you into telling him you value him and want to be with him.

A guy who does this is oftentimes extremely insecure. He doesn’t know how to communicate his wants and needs effectively, so he instinctually resorts to below-the-belt tricks. By doing so, he goes for maximum pain and uses that pain to fuel his excessive need for power, control, and of course, validation.

If your boyfriend isn’t hungry for control, however, then it’s possible that he’s coming back because he has no one better to love and be loved by. It’s possible that he tried dating others and failed and always ran back to you because you were happy to get back with him.

If that’s the case, you may want to think about whether your boyfriend truly loves you. His love for you may not be love at all. It could be something between friendship and less than friendship. You better keep your guards up around him because chances are that he’s going to keep doubting you and ultimately leave for good.

Furthermore, some guys also come back because they’re anxious, depressed, or scared of being alone. Such guys tend to come back and love their partner for as long as they have problems and need a shoulder to lean on. But when they resolve their problems and regain self-esteem or happiness, they quickly lose appreciation for their partner and break up again.

They just don’t have anything holding them to their partner because they come back for the wrong reasons (to patch their wounds and obtain recognition).

You can tell a guy’s come back for himself if he’s brokenhearted, low on energy, and talks mainly about things that concern him. A guy who’s only interested in himself is going to have moments when he appears distracted, withdrawn, and easily agitated.

So pay attention to his emotional health and the willingness to regain your trust—and try not to get used by him.

What to do if my boyfriend keeps breaking up with me and coming back?

When you’re dealing with a guy who comes and goes as he pleases, you need to keep in mind that the guy likely won’t realize he’s being unfair to you and treat you better. One day, he’ll probably just disappear into thin air and make you wonder why he left and where he went.

That’s why the best course of action is to prevent this guy from doing what he’s doing. You need to reject him next time he comes back so that he sees what rejection feels like and realizes your worth.

You may have a lot of love for this guy (or a lack of self-love), but if you don’t respect yourself and reject him, you can’t expect him to respect you either.

This guy is always going to do what you allow him to do because that’s what people who haven’t developed themselves do. They abuse others’ low self-esteem. So don’t allow him to keep using you for his selfish benefits. Show him that you respect yourself instead—and that you’re not going to let him take you for granted.

There’s always a chance that stopping your ex from being with you is going to end your relationship forever, but you have to keep in mind that if your ex doesn’t get hurt by your rejection and just walks away that it’s because he doesn’t really want to be with you.

He just wants to get something from you and leave once he’s gotten it.

So don’t give this guy what he’s asking for. You’ve done that before and it didn’t work. Now you have to be strong and reject the guy so he can emotionally comprehend your worth and think about his behavior.

What if I already took back a guy who keeps breaking up with me?

In case you already accepted your ex back, then you don’t have to wait until he breaks up with you again. That would be a huge waste of time and emotions. Instead, just talk to the guy about his behavior in the least threatening way possible and see what he thinks about it.

If he cares about you and understands that he has issues, he’ll be open to suggestions and willing to work on himself. He won’t just ignore your thoughts and feelings because you’ll matter to him.

If he doesn’t care about you, however, then this guy probably won’t show much interest in improving himself and making you happy. He won’t feel the need to because the relationship won’t be important to him. He’ll have different goals in mind and will do whatever it takes to reach them.

My advice is to not stay with a guy who doesn’t show concern for your well-being and remorse for his behavior. I think you should break up with him because his lack of remorse, concern, and effort indicates that he hasn’t learned his lesson yet and that he likely won’t for a very long time.

Probably not until he’s suffered, reflected on his ways of thinking, and learned to value you and respect you.

Always judge a guy by his actions because his actions will tell you everything. They’ll tell you what a guy thinks and feels, what his plans are, and how successful a relationship with him will be.

His behavior tells you everything, it’s a crystal ball. You just have to observe it meticulously.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.