Is He Thinking About Me During No Contact?

Is he thinking about you during no contact?

He certainly is. You were a big part of his life, so he can’t just erase you from his memory and never think about you again. It’s impossible for him not to think about you because you’d spent months or even years of time with him.

You were there for him when he needed you and made him feel loved and respected. The more love, attraction, memories, and emotions you experienced in the relationship together as a couple, the more he got used to you and the more he thinks about you during no contact when he’s alone and has time to think.

Even though he’s emotionally detached and glad the relationship is over, you still cross his mind from time to time. It may not be as often as he crosses your mind because you’re hurt and want him back, but he still ponders about you and wonders what you’re up to. The extent to which he thinks about you depends on how fresh the breakup is, how he perceives you, how busy he is, and how dependent he is on external validation for happiness.

External validation means that he relies on things outside of his body for happiness. This includes relationships, friendships, alcohol, addictions, jobs, finances, etc.

The reason why he’s thinking about you if the breakup just occurred is that you’re still on his subconscious mind. He’s used to having you around, so despite him enjoying space and freedom, he still feels like something or someone’s missing.

That someone is you because his life has suddenly changed and demands that he takes care of things on his own.

Breakups alone also cause guys to think about you. They’re highly emotional experiences that trigger undesired emotions such as guilt, concern, and fear of how the dumpee will respond to the breakup. The stronger these emotions are, the more reasons the dumper has to think about the dumpee and breadcrumb him or her.

So if you’ve started no contact and wonder “Is my ex thinking about me during no contact,” rest assured that your ex hasn’t forgotten about you. He may not be reaching out and talking to you, but that’s because he needs time to himself to process the breakup and enjoy it in ways that feel natural to him.

Don’t reach out to him because you think or know he’s having fun and feel that he doesn’t care about you. He probably doesn’t care about you (at least not romantically), but that’s why the breakup occurred. He lost feelings, so you should leave him alone otherwise he could associate (more) negative thoughts with you and make things much worse for you when you see him act cold and mean.

Today’s topic is for dumpees who wonder if their ex is thinking about them during no contact. We’ll go into detail about why your ex is thinking about you and also mention some things that could make him think about you in a better light.

Is he thinking about me during no contact?

Before we go any further, we must clarify what “thinking about you” means. If you just got broken up with/started no contact and you’re hoping that your ex is already indulging in enjoyable recollection of past events, you need to understand that you’re pinning too much hope on no contact. You’re very eager to reconcile and feel loved again, so you want no contact to affect your ex strongly and immediately.

But that probably won’t happen.

Right now, your ex isn’t thinking about how great a partner you were and how he wished things didn’t end in heartbreak. Your ex isn’t regretting his decisions because he’s enjoying post-breakup relief and space and is thankful that you’re keeping your distance and letting him be.

Sometimes (although quite rarely) exes do wish that the relationship didn’t end the way it did, but that’s only because they’re depressed and blame themselves for destroying the relationship. They think they have a tendency to mess things up and that something’s wrong with them.

But, unfortunately, even depressed/self-blaming people still want to go through with the breakup because the relationship drained their energy and made them feel they weren’t able to fulfill their exes’ expectations and keep up with them.

So whatever your ex’s reason for leaving is, don’t expect no contact to make your ex miss you and want you back the moment you start following the rules of no contact. Don’t expect it to work 2, 5, or even 10 months later either because no contact doesn’t trigger romantic feelings in your ex.

It’s experiences, failures, discoveries, and reflections that do that. They are the things that make dumpers come running back as they allow dumpers to crave what they used to get from you. And what they used to get from you is love, security, respect, emotional/financial stability, children, and peace.

But that’s a topic for another time.

Today, we’re discussing if a guy you dated or almost dated is thinking about you during no contact. The short answer is that he is occasionally. He’s thinking about what you’re up to and (if he’s a decent person) wondering how you’re coping with the breakup/rejection.

There are two reasons he might not necessarily care much about how you’re doing.

The first reason is that he may be tired from the prolonged relationship and that he needs time to focus on his own happiness. And secondly, he may not be mature and compassionate. Not all guys are sympathetic and empathetic (capable of understanding other people’s emotions and difficulties). That’s why they don’t concern themselves with their exes’ health and well-being and just focus on being happy.

Some dumpers even blame their exes for the way they feel. Such exes, of course, don’t care much. They tend to start caring and feeling guilty much later after they’ve processed the breakup and realized that they should have been kinder and more patient with their exes.

But whether they’re patient or not is irrelevant. The important thing you need to understand is that you haven’t been forgotten and that the guy is thinking about you during no contact. You just don’t know that he is because you’re in no contact and have no idea what’s going on with him internally and externally.

All you know is that he’s going through the stages of a breakup for the dumper and that he’ll take his sweet time to process everything he needs to process. When he goes through the most important stages, that’s when he could decide to check up on you.

He’ll probably reach out to relieve guilt, shame, and anxiety or to see how you’re doing and if you can help him pass time.

Here are 5 reasons why your ex is thinking about you during no contact.

How can I tell if he’s thinking about me during no contact?

If you’re following the indefinite no contact rule and you’re doing it religiously, you won’t know whether he’s thinking about you and what he’s thinking and feeling in no contact. But the good thing about it is that you won’t have to know. Soon, you’ll stop caring about your ex’s life and focus entirely on yourself instead.

That’s when you’ll discover that no contact is not just about your ex. It’s also about you because it allows you to overcome separation anxiety, increase self-esteem, and help you detach from your ex and get your happy self back.

To recover from the breakup, you’ll have to trust the effectiveness of no contact and remain patient long enough for no contact to heal your wounds and let you lose hope. It could take some time to heal completely, of course, but that’s the way healing works. Healing is a taxing process that requires a lot of willpower and faith.

But while you’re recovering and still very much in love with your ex, rest assured that your ex is thinking about you during no contact. You can tell he’s thinking about you simply because he’s a human being. Humans are incapable of cutting off the past and pretending that whatever happened didn’t happen.

They can try to pretend, but internally, they still remember their past vividly and think about it once in a while. Especially if their lives aren’t going well and they’re doubting their decisions. That’s when they also become sentimental and wonder if their ex is doing any better than them.

The hardest day of no contact is, of course, day one. But the longer you commit to no contact and the fewer breakup mistakes you make, the more you’ll heal and the better your ex will feel about you (the more your ex will want to talk to you).

No contact is essentially a waiting game. Most of no contact consists of distracting yourself, controlling your emotions, and working on improving your shortcomings.

Do it the right way and you’ll use the breakup as a stepping stone to becoming the best version of yourself. Waste it and you’ll likely get involved with people similar to your ex and get hurt again.

So make use of this time by caring about yourself rather than your ex. Your ex is already taking care of himself now and doesn’t need you to do that too. He needs you to focus on yourself so you can be happy and also so he can respect you.

Your job as a dumpee is to understand that your value as a person doesn’t depend on whether your ex is thinking about you and wanting to be with you. It depends on how you think of yourself and what you do to improve your understanding of who you are and what your worth is.

If you let your worth be determined by romantic relationships, the kinds of people you hang out with, material possessions, and how much money you earn, you’re going to suffer immensely when you lose those things. So learn to value yourself for the person you are and try not to let external matters affect your self-esteem.

Things that will make him think about you more during no contact

If you’re thinking of dating someone else just to make your ex jealous, you can forget about it right away. Jealousy tricks won’t work because your ex has lost feelings and attraction for you. He wants to spend time on his own away from you and doesn’t care if you’re with someone else or not.

Rubbing a new relationship in your ex’s face in person or by posting about it on social media is just going to annoy your ex because he’s in a very sensitive state of mind. He still remembers how you made him feel in the past because he associates negative emotions with you and now instantly feels the way he did in the past whenever you ask for attention and show off.

So don’t do anything that wouldn’t impress a person who’s fed up with you and needs to stay away from you to feel better. Instead, show that you’re not a threat to him and that your happiness doesn’t revolve around him or other people.

Do this by staying single, detaching from him, and doing things that matter to you and make you into the person you are. By all means, talk to other people and expand your social circle, but don’t try to improve your ex’s opinion of you by hinting that you’re sleeping with other men and having the time of your life without your ex.

Your ex won’t like that. Most dumpers don’t because they:

1. Don’t want to see reminders of their ex.
2. Don’t want to see their ex pretending to be happy.
3. And don’t want their ex to try to hurt their ego and self-esteem.

If you’re going to post things on social media, post as much as you used to post before (or a bit less if you posted a lot) —and post things your friends and family would be proud of. It can be anything work-related, personal achievements, nice deeds, and proof that you’re moving on with your life and learning more about yourself.

If you can’t share your improvements online or with people close to your ex, then don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter because you’re still waiting for your ex to become curious about you and want to speak with you. You’re waiting for your ex to process the breakup and reach out because that’s when your ex will be ready to talk and also see you in a better light.

So stay in no contact, focus on your happiness and emotional independence, and wait for your ex to change his mind about you. If he changes his mind before you get over him, you can get back with him. But if he waits for you to detach and discover your worth, then it probably won’t matter whether he wants you back or not. You’ll be okay either way because his validation will stop mattering to you.

Are you wondering if someone is thinking about you in no contact? Are you worried that he’ll move on and forget about you? Let us know what’s on your mind below the article. We’ll get back to you soon.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.