How To Make A Narcissist Regret Losing You?

Narcissists are extremely opinionated and stubborn people. They’re emotion-driven and unwilling to change their beliefs no matter how polite and right people are. They’re constantly under the impression that their views and emotions are right and that others need to respect them and think the same way as them.

We could say that they don’t handle differences of opinion very well. The only opinion allowed is theirs, which is why it’s either their way or the highway. You’ll likely witness them throw a tantrum and ridicule you when you disagree or do something they don’t want you to do.

That’s why you shouldn’t try to change their perception of you by force. Forcing them to see things differently and regret losing you isn’t going to work because they’ll take complete control of the situation and punish you when you lower your pride, apologize, and ask them to sympathize with you.

Some narcissists will immediately point out your mistakes and flaws and laugh in your face whereas others will coldheartedly ignore you and make you feel unworthy of their time and attention. Every narcissist is slightly different, but all in all, you can expect a malicious reaction from the narcissist.

You can expect the narcissist to reject and object to what you say and hit you where you live.

Narcissists are master manipulators and know what hurts you the most. Discovering people’s weaknesses and using them to their advantage is their forte. It’s their means of protecting themselves when they run out of sensible things to say and do.

So whatever you do, don’t expect a narc to play fair. Most of them are not afraid to sink low. They believe the world is out to get them and that the best defense is a good offense. That’s why in an argument, breakup, or any difficult situation, they strike first – way before anyone can deliver the first blow.

In this world, they consider themselves victims and bringers of justice. Reasoning with them and telling them they don’t have the power to play God and deliver karma is a waste of time. No matter how much sense you make, in the end, they always reason emotionally and do what they want to do.

It’s their opinions and feelings before anyone else’s.

So before you do anything that brings a vicious response out of a narcissist, keep in mind that a true narcissist feeds on power. A narcissist uses the power he or she steals from people to make himself or herself feel victimized. And once a narcissist feels victimized, he or she does everything to justify his or her behavior.

A narcissist could do many hurtful things. Here are just some of them.

• Pick fights with you
• Call you names
• Abuse you physically, emotionally, and financially
• Sue you
• Rub a new relationship in your face
• Run a smear campaign against you
• Try to get you fired
• Laugh when you’re hurt and put you down
• Refuse to return your things and enjoy watching you want them back

The more attention, adoration, respect, and power a narcissist gets, the more superior a narc feels to you. And when a narc feels that he or she is better than you, he or she will play dirty, try to hurt you immensely, and find immense joy in hurting you.

Seeing that certain words and actions affect you negatively will be a feast for a narcissist’s eyes and ears.

He or she won’t be able to get enough of it because once you get on a narc’s bad side, he or she will take every chance he or she gets to get back at you for everything you did wrong and could have done better. You shouldn’t expect a narc to get even and stop there.

A narcissist will make sure you suffer twice or thrice as much as him/her. He or she will do that to have the last laugh.

If you’re in love with a narcissist, you need to know that a narcissist can’t be tamed with niceness and perseverance. A narcissist won’t relax when you relax and propose a truce. He or she will bury the hatchet when he or she wants to bury it.

That will probably happen when you stop feeding his or her ego and have nothing else to give to the narc.

Typically, you can expect a narc to stop hurting you:

• Some time after you’ve stopped interacting and empowering the narc
• When the narc feels you’ve suffered enough
• Or when he or she gets busy with something or someone else

In today’s post, we discuss how to make a narcissist regret losing you.

Is your ex a narcissist?

Before we talk about making a narcissist ex regret losing you, we need to talk about whether your ex even is a narcissist. Dumpees like to brand their exes as narcissists to feel better about their ex dumping them and acting like they don’t exist.

But this doesn’t mean their ex is a narcissist. Their ex could be a bitter, unsympathetic, and undeveloped individual who takes relationships for granted and treats people poorly.

A narcissist is someone completely void of empathy and responsibility. He or she feels entitled to people’s time, belongings, or money and finds it very difficult to maintain romantic relationships and friendships.

Whenever there’s a misunderstanding or an issue, it’s always someone else’s fault.

They’re egocentric and ego-driven, so they don’t show accountability and fix issues when they arise. They not only lack the skills to resolve difficulties, but they expect others to fix everything and make it up to them. Their sense of superiority simply doesn’t allow them to lower their pride and admit fault and express remorse.

Such people are by definition narcissists. They are highly emotional/reactive creatures who live a life of envy, misery, pain, and destruction.

Now that you’ve heard my definition of a narcissist, would you say your ex is a narcissist? Did he or she only or mostly take from your relationship and refuse/fail to give much in return?

It’s possible your ex isn’t a full-blown narc, but merely has some narcissistic traits.

Here are some typical traits/habits associated with narcissists:

• Lack of empathy, boundaries, and responsibility
• Superiority and entitlement
• Hunger for attention and praise
• Self-admiration and self-fixation
• Impulsivity
• Flaunting
• Unrealistic expectations
• Difficulties expressing themselves efficiently, bonding, and maintaining relationships

It’s important to understand whether your ex was a full-blown narc, a person with narcissistic traits, or just someone who did you dirty. Understanding this will tell you if you should hold your ex accountable or if you were partly responsible for making your ex feel a certain way (not for making your ex treat you poorly).

Your healing will speed up significantly when you understand why your ex behaved the way he or she did. So brand your ex realistically and work on your flaws and mistakes as well. You want to grow from this ordeal, right?

If you do, focus on healing, rebuilding self-esteem, and becoming the best version of yourself.

Should I make a narcissist regret losing me?

If you’ve identified your ex as a narcissist and want to make the narc regret losing you, the first question you should ask yourself is why you want to make a narcissist regret losing you. What do you hope to get out of seeing a narcissist regret losing you and want you back?

Are you hoping it would stroke your ego and make you feel important? If that’s the case, wouldn’t you want to feel validated for the wrong reasons just like your ex did when you were a couple?

Running after validation wouldn’t make you a narcissist because you’d want it for different reasons in contrast to your ex (healing vs ego), but what’s the point in making your ex regret losing you when you don’t think your ex is a good match for you?

You may want the suffering to stop and your self-esteem to recover, but you have to think rationally here. The reason your ex wounded you this badly is probably because your relationship had tons of ups and downs and suffered from abuse of power.

It created unhealthy attachments and made you think your ex was more important than he or she actually was.

You probably already see your ex as a person who isn’t worthy of your time and commitment. But the emotional part of you doesn’t quite agree with it yet. It still years for your ex’s approval, apology, forgiveness, or explanation.

That doesn’t mean that you should get them from your ex. A narcissist or any ex unwilling to communicate and give you closure is a hindrance to your well-being. It not only deters your healing and self-acceptance but also slows down your self-improvement, which is the most effective in the first few months of the breakup.

You shouldn’t give a narcissist the privilege to play with your heart and control your thoughts. Despite being attached to him or her, you should strive to heal from the discard without his or her help. It takes strength to do that, but strong decisions will make you stronger.

Waiting and relying on your ex to feel better, on the other hand, will make you weaker and highly dependent on your ex for months to come.

So think about whether it’s even worth trying to make your narcissist ex regret leaving you. After some deliberation, you’ll probably realize that an ego boost would indeed feel good as it’d tell you that you weren’t as bad a partner as your ex made you feel.

But other than that, you’ll learn it wouldn’t help you grow and forget about your ex. The moment you get validated, you’ll probably stop working on yourself and perhaps even get pulled back into a relationship with your ex. That would obviously be a bad idea as you’d sign up for more agony and uncertainty.

How to make a narcissist regret losing you?

If you insist on learning how to make a narcissist regret losing you, you need to know that talking to your ex probably won’t make your ex see your worth and regret dumping you. Talking, explaining, and begging will prove the opposite, which is that you need your ex for validation and healing and that you can’t let go and detach.

Making your ex jealous likely won’t have the desired effect either. A narcissist will likely lose his or her marbles and attack you for prioritizing other people and appearing happy. That could significantly destroy his or her remaining respect for you and lower the chances of regretting the breakup.

You need to remember that a narcissist who cares about what you think of him or her can’t handle feeling worthless and forgotten. The narc needs to feel valued, wanted, and respected to remain in control of the breakup. If he or she doesn’t feel important, the narcissist gets his or her ego bruised and could react impulsively and destructively.

Of course, an attempt at jealousy could also not bother the narcissist. Let’s not forget that narcs are emotionally detached and that some of them go from one person to the next and never look back. They don’t care about what happens to their ex and what their ex thinks about them because they get plenty of attention elsewhere.

That means they’re happy as long as they have admirers and go through the infatuation phase with them.

I want you to understand that making a narcissist regret losing you is not about what you say and do. It’s about preserving your value, improving yourself, reaching your goals, and waiting for your ex to fail miserably in some important way.

When that happens, your ex (a narc or not) could check up on you and see if you can help him or her cope with the issue at hand.

You need to focus on yourself and do the things that make you happy. It’s the lack of interest in your ex that could eventually make your ex curious about you when life gives your ex lemons.

Don’t act on emotions and try to attract your ex ahead of time. Anything that shows you want or need to communicate with your ex will further empower your ex and make your ex want to be with you even less.

Every time you go on the initiative, your ex will see that you need him or her more than he or she needs you. And that will make you look desperate and much less desirable and valuable.

So if you want to know how to make a narcissist regret losing you, completely remove your presence and refuse to respond to your ex’s silence or provocations. A narcissist must see that you’ve lost interest and regained power and meaning in life.

That’s the only way a narcissist will take an interest in what you have to offer (power and self-respect) and feel a need to check up on you and talk to you.

Simply put, a narcissist needs to feel unimportant to want to feel important. His or her self-importance must plummet without your help before he or she can come back to resupply.

Here are my tips on how to make a narcissist regret leaving you.

On the other hand, if you dumped a narcissist and want the narcissist to regret taking you for granted and losing you, then know that your ex likely already regrets losing you. Rejection and a shattered ego hurt your ex very badly and make your ex want to be with you.

You don’t need to do anything at this point. You don’t need to play with your ex’s hurt feelings. The breakup caused more than enough pain and suffering already.

Your ex will now have to live with regrets and self-improve. If your ex doesn’t improve from this ordeal, then your ex will repeat the same mistakes with other people and be unhappy. Relationships determine how happy people are in life.

And since narcissists are bad at them, you can expect your narcissistic ex to live a very miserable life. Nature will make sure of it as your ex will continue to get hit by karma. You don’t need to take revenge on your ex and prove you’re happier without him or her.

You just need to move on.

Forget about making your ex regret losing you

Your narcissistic ex is set for failure with or without your involvement, so there’s no need to burden your conscience. Keep it clear instead by understanding that your ex’s life isn’t going to get any easier. Narcissists have a victim mentality, so they don’t learn much if at all from their failed relationships.

They prefer to play the blame game and expect others to change in ways that better their life.

So what does that tell you?

It tells you that you don’t need to hurt your pitiful ex. It’s unnecessary as your ex is already failing and going to keep failing. Hurting your ex on purpose wouldn’t make you look any better than your ex at all. So take the high road and prove to yourself and your ex that you won’t let anyone bring you down to their level.

I know it can be tempting to hurt your ex back, but if you do that, you’ll most likely make your ex retaliate in a similar or worse fashion and start a war you can’t win.

Narcissists are fueled by negativity and have more experience in playing nasty than you. Don’t fight them on their turf or they’ll ruin your reputation and exhaust you mentally.

Did you learn how to make a narcissist regret losing you? What do you think the best way to make your ex envy you is? Let us know in the comments below.

And if you want to talk about narcissism and your ex with us privately, click here to sign up for coaching.