Getting Back With An Ex After They Dated Someone Else

If you’re thinking of getting back with an ex after they dated someone else, you shouldn’t worry too much about the physical aspect of your ex’s latest relationship. You should be more worried about your ex’s and his/her partner’s emotional connection as well as the plans they had together.

This is because the plans they looked forward to indicate how serious they were about being with each other and how much you meant to your ex during the time they spent together. The reason why your importance to your ex plays a big role in deciding whether you should get back with an ex after they dated someone else is that it shows how thoughtful your ex is as a person.

It proves how developed your ex is and how he or she thought of you and treated you when you were alone and no longer your ex’s favorite person. People show who they are when they need you the least. That’s when they show their true colors and treat you the way they treat random, unimportant people.

If your ex broke up with you and didn’t care how the breakup affected you, you should be very careful about your ex. You should keep in mind that your ex doesn’t care about other people’s feelings very much and that if you let your ex back into your heart that your ex could make the same mistake again.

Your ex could once again take you for granted and leave you to chase the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Sure, sometimes people mature up and change their thinking and behavioral patterns. But generally speaking, they usually don’t grow humility, empathy, and morals. These things require a desire to change and some serious self-reflection.

Most of the time, adults change only when bad things happen to them. That’s because they learn that they don’t want to treat others the way they were treated and that they don’t want to experience that kind of pain again. They just want to mature up and distance themselves from people and behaviors that used to get them in trouble.

That’s what maturity is. It entails improving thoughts, perceptions, and behaviors for the sake of avoiding difficulties, conflict, and unwanted emotions.

I’m telling you this so you don’t get back with an ex just because you can. Before you get back, you need to remember how your ex treated you and what your ex thought of the history you had together. If your ex ignored you, called you names, and started dating someone else shortly after breaking up, you can be certain that your ex hasn’t changed much.

People who monkey-branch from one relationship to the next tend to focus on distraction and emotional/sexual gratification. They don’t care about improving themselves. They don’t care about that because they tend to blame their ex for the end of their relationship.

Sometimes dumpers realize their ex’s worth months or years later. But they usually do that only if they fail to find happiness on their own or with someone else. I’m not saying you should hold grudges and not get back with your ex simply because your ex completely lost interest in you and abandoned you.

I’m saying you need to be aware of the fact that your ex took you for granted, broke a promise (commitment to the relationship), and hasn’t focused on self-growth, but rather on moving forward with life and having fun.

If that means nothing to you, you’re likely in pain and don’t respect yourself much right now. You’re too hurt to care about your ex’s wrongdoings and just want your ex to make you feel better. That’s understandable. But give it a few months and your separation anxiety will wane.

That’s when your perception of your ex will change (become more realistic) and help you focus on yourself. You might not even want your ex back anymore. Many dumpees don’t. The moment they learn their worth, they make it clear that deserve better and that they must keep moving forward.

You see, the reason why dumpees reject dumpers (usually after a year or more) is that they detach. They see that their ex undervalued them and left them to fend for themselves. And because they were left alone to deal with the breakup blues, they know their ex must deal with his or her anxiety alone as well when he or she wants them back.

This article is for people who are contemplating getting back with an ex after their ex dated someone else.

Getting back with an ex after they dated someone else – what do you need to know?

There are a few things you must learn before you accept your ex back. For starters, you must learn whether your ex wants you back because he feels sorry for his recent failure(s) or because he’s actually learned your worth.

Sometimes spotting the difference can be difficult because the dumper only appears to be regretful. He cries, promises to change, and even shows proof that he’s done with the previous partner. He doesn’t mention that he’s hurting and in great need of affection and reassurance.

It’s up to you to figure out why he’s come back by saying that you have some important questions to ask.

Questions like:

• Why did you break up with me?
• Why did you come back?
• What went wrong in your relationship?
• How come I’m only hearing from you now?
• What did you learn?
• What are you going to do now?
• If you were me, would you take yourself back after what you’ve done?

It’s extremely important that you learn whether your ex has made any changes at all. If he’s still the same person as he was throughout the relationship, he may not have what it takes to grow with you. His commitment to you may not be strong enough to stay with you once he recovers from the grief, anxiety, depression, shame, or guilt that he’s currently dealing with.

He could leave the moment he starts feeling better and sees that he came back not because of love but because of pain. And that would make you feel used and betrayed once again.

So make sure that the man or woman who comes back after dating someone else wants you for who you are and not just because your ex can get money, sex, or some kind of benefit from you. If your ex truly loves you, he or she will be more than happy to prove his or her commitment to the relationship.

Your ex will do that by:

• letting you take charge
• listening to your requests and suggestions
• showing changes
• cutting ties with his/her previous partner and any people you don’t like
• giving you the password to his/her phone/social media if necessary
• thanking you for trusting him/her
• investing in you fully and consistently

A person who wants you back for the right reasons will not be cold, mean, angry, indecisive, and resistant to your suggestions. He or she will go above and beyond to meet your expectations, wishes, and needs and try to redeem himself or herself.

That’s why you’ll notice whether your ex wants you for you probably in less than a week. You’ll just need to observe how your ex communicates with you, how eager your ex is to work with you, and how scared he or she is to lose you.

Always remember that a person who loves you will have a connection with you. A connection that he or she will be afraid of losing.

Obviously, the intensity and the quality of your relationship with your ex should also be considered. The longer, your relationship was, the more likely it is that you’ll be tempted to make an emotional decision when it comes to accepting your ex back. The same is true for the quality of the relationship.

Some people think that healthy relationships are hard to separate from, but that’s just an illusion. Unhealthy, abusive, imbalanced relationships are much more difficult because they create unhealthy bonds and codependence. They convince people that they need their partner or they’re going to suffer immensely.

I can’t decide for you whether you should get back with an ex who had dated and possibly loved someone else. That’s your decision to make. I’d just like to encourage you to understand that your ex was focused on moving on and that you need to evaluate whether your ex has improved from the breakup experience and if the benefits outweigh the risks.

Here are my tips you can follow if you’re thinking about getting back with an ex after they dated someone else.

Should you take an ex back after they left you for someone else?

If your ex left you for someone else, you have to understand that your ex took you for granted and cheated on you. He or she betrayed you because someone else made your ex feel wanted and appeared to be shinier than you. At least in the short term.

When your ex actually got to know this person, your ex realized that he or she was living in a fairy tale and that fairy tales are fabricated stories far from reality. They are something people create to escape reality because they aren’t properly equipped to handle temptations life throws at them.

Many people find temptations hard to resist. Especially when their relationship is falling apart and they have no willpower and energy left to save it. That’s when they give in to them and try to justify their actions by saying that they deserve to be happy with someone who understands them and supports them.

This means that taking back a cheater is very dangerous. Not only is there a decent chance that your ex is going to cheat again when more temptations arise, but your ex is likely going to hurt you again and put you through the same breakup experience.

I don’t want to say that a cheater will always be a cheater, but if the cheater doesn’t take an oath to be a better person, you shouldn’t expect a cheater to change for the better. You should expect him or her to remain the same behavior-wise.

So be careful about getting back with an ex who dumped you for someone else. Make sure to consider all the dangers of reuniting with an ex as well as the struggles you could face.

If you don’t know what you could face, here are just a few examples:

• fear of getting dumped again
• actually getting dumped again
• power imbalance
• separation anxiety
• old patterns repeating themselves (relationship mentality, behavior, lies, poor communication…)
• you or your ex falling out of love
• getting even more attached to your ex and to the idea of wanting to be in a relationship
• getting pulled back on your ex’s level of maturity and not being able to develop yourself and become fully independent

Getting back with an ex after they dated someone else can be painful. But it can be even more painful when your ex leaves you for someone else because cheating takes time to get over. It takes a lot of time, strength, and cooperation from the cheater so that you can learn to trust the cheater again and set the bar high.

If you don’t set new rules and standards, your relationship would merely continue from where it left off. This means that the two of you would once again take each other for granted and leave when the relationship faces issues.

So if you’re serious about getting back with an ex after they dated someone else, keep in mind that there are some risks involved. You’ll have to learn how to navigate risk and uncertainty and remain united so that your relationship becomes stronger and better than ever before.

How to get back with an ex after they dated someone else?

To get back with an ex after your ex dated someone else, two things have to happen.

1. Your ex has to stop talking to the person he or she dated.
2. Your ex has to tell you that he or she wants you back.

That’s when you’ll finally get your lost power back and have a chance to be with your ex. You won’t be able to (and shouldn’t try to) reconcile sooner. Especially not if your ex is still dating someone and not caring much about you because that’s only going to make things worse.

So if you’re trying to reconcile with an ex who dated someone and broke up with that person, don’t start messaging your ex. It’s not your job to guide your ex back into a relationship with you. Even if it was your job, you won’t be able to do it because your ex won’t be interested in you.

Your ex will be interested in you only when your ex makes an effort to apologize and says or shows that he or she wants you back.

Until that happens, you must stay out of your ex’s way. You must be strong and leave your ex alone even if your ex keeps going on dates all the time.

If your ex matures up, has an epiphany, and realizes that you were the best of all the people he or she dated, your ex will come running back. You can be sure of it. So let the universe take care of your ex while you focus on healing and detachment.

Let us know what you think about getting back with an ex after they dated someone else. Do you think love can flourish again or do you think your ex is damaged goods and not worth getting back with?

And finally, if you’re looking for 1-on-1 coaching and want our help, check out our coaching packages.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.