Updated on July 16, 2025
Forced breakups because of parents are some of the most emotionally challenging experiences that many people face across different cultures and generations. When parents disapprove of a relationship, whether because of cultural, religious, educational, financial, or personal reasons, they tend to pressure their child to end the relationship on their terms, even if that’s the last thing their child wants.
They don’t consider their child’s emotional investment, feelings, and the future he or she has envisioned with the new romantic partner.
Such parents are convinced that the person their son or daughter is seeing isn’t a good romantic match for their child and that their child must break up and eventually find a more compatible person. This puts immense pressure on their child and often shoves a wedge between their child and his or her love interest. The couple finds it incredibly difficult to navigate the relationship their parents disapprove of because they’re forced to keep their relationship secret and/or hide their feelings and actions.
Many times, they break up because the relationship becomes emotionally exhausting and causes them to fall out of love.
If your parents forced a breakup on you, you’re in a difficult situation, especially if you’re super close to your parents, still live with your parents, or depend on them financially. In these cases, your parents have power over you and immense influence on you. If you don’t do what they say and choose to stay with your partner despite them telling you to break up, they might make your life difficult by withdrawing certain benefits or support.
They might even kick you out, cut you off, and make you choose between them and your partner. That would obviously put you in a very difficult situation, as no one wants to choose between people who gave them life and a person who gives their life companionship, excitement, and romantic purpose.
Unfortunately, manipulation, threats, or even physical aggression are common, especially in cultures where parents have a final say. In those cultures, it can be extremely challenging to convince headstrong parents to give your partner a chance and slowly change your parents’ perception of him or her. When parents decide they dislike your partner and don’t feel ashamed to tell you that, they’ve already made up their mind. They’ve decided that you’re not a good fit and that you must break up at once.
They aren’t open to discussing things and slowly coming back around. Due to their personality and beliefs, they expect you to avoid resisting their decision and let go of your partner or potential partner.
If you don’t let go of him or her, they’ll likely escalate things further and force you to break up.
A forced breakup because of parents is a truly complex situation. On one hand, you want to please your parents and your partner, but on the other, you have no control over it. Your parents don’t give you much room to maneuver and make decisions for yourself.
Your parents should never meddle with your relationships unless your relationships are unhealthy and need to end for everyone’s sake. They should let you date (of course, at an appropriate age) and let you learn what kind of partner works and doesn’t work for you. No one has the right to tell you that you shouldn’t date someone you like. If you’re attracted to the wrong person, you need to realize it yourself. You must date that person and learn valuable lessons from it.
Your parents don’t know you well enough to truly understand the kind of people you’re attracted to and want to be with. They only see certain aspects of your partner’s overall value. Since they don’t understand your romantic expectations, they need to encourage you to get to know some people and mature through experience. Telling you not to date people THEY dislike, probably without even giving them a chance, is beyond disrespectful. They’re your parents, so if anyone should support you unconditionally, it’s them.
It’s the least they could do for your romantic life. If they can’t support you, they should at least not make your dating difficult. They should step out of your way and avoid judging your romantic partners.
I imagine your parents have such a tight bond with you that they assumed they had the right to tell you what’s right for you and what isn’t—especially if it came at the expense of their own. They chose to prioritize their convictions over your happiness and plans. That means they consider themselves in charge even of your romantic decisions, and that they’ll continue to force breakups on you if your partners don’t meet their expectations.
As long as they think they have a final say, your relationships will be at least partially controlled by them. This might change once you step out of their sphere of influence and control.
If you’re going through a breakup forced by parents, you’re unfortunately caught in a situation beyond your control. It feels like you’re being pulled in two directions—between your love for your partner and your loyalty to your family. You can either make yourself and your partner happy or your parents. Whoever you prioritize in the end, it’s important that the decision reflects your values and not just external pressure.
Either way, expect your decision to be painful and come with consequences.
I can’t tell you who to choose or why because it depends on your unique situation, values, and long-term priorities. If your parents seem open to talking about your chosen partner, perhaps you can talk to them when they’re calm and collected. Tell them that you love them and value their opinion, but that your romantic decisions are yours to make. Convey to them that they and your partner matter to you and that you don’t want to choose one or the other.
You want to organize a meetup and prove to them that your partner can add value to you as well as to them.
Clearly, your parents are worried that your partner won’t make them happy. Due to their beliefs and/or unhealthy perceptions, they’re convinced they’ll be unhappy because of your decision to date the person in question. You may be able to change their perception by having your partner do something to like them. I’m not saying you should bribe them or trick them, but if you show them that your partner has things in common with them and wants to get to know them better, they might not be so quick to judge him or her.
It’s just an idea, but it might be worth giving it a try.
If you do nothing, you’ll be forced to break up with your partner or forced not to get back together if you already broke up. Whether you decide to talk to your parents and dissuade them from forcing you to abandon your relationship or handle their disapproval passively is up to you. But if I were in your shoes and I really loved my partner, I’d talk to my parents and set some boundaries. I wouldn’t want them to make important decisions about my life, such as what I study, where I live, and who I date.
I live in the West, so it’s hard for me to imagine my parents dictating who I can or can’t be with. My culture and family have always encouraged me to choose my own partners and dicover our compatibilities.
If you’re young, live in a place where your parents still provide for you, or have an especially close, but often controlling relationship with your parents, it can be incredibly hard to go against their wishes. Their opinions carry a lot of weight in your life, not just emotionally but also practically. Disobeying them might mean risking financial support, emotional stability, or a place to stay. In such situations, choosing your own path can feel like a betrayal, even when you know deep down you’re not asking for much.
Controlling parents often leave their children feeling paralyzed when it comes to making their own decisions. Over time, they damage their kids’ self-trust and independence. Instead of developing confidence through trial and error, their children grow up fearing failure and seeking approval for even the most personal choices.
In relationships, this can be especially damaging. Love requires autonomy, courage, and a willingness to take emotional risks. If those traits are stifled early on, it becomes difficult to stand up for themselves and their partner when their relationship is at risk.
In today’s post, we discuss what to do when you’re forced to break up because of parents, guardians, or other parental figures.
Forced breakup because of parents
Breakups forced by parents are especially painful because they take away your sense of choice and control. They force you to break up with someone you have a connection with and see yourself staying with long-term. Because you’re emotionally attached and have romantic expectations tied to that person, you experience a loss of hope, separation anxiety, and all the painful consequences that come with a breakup.
You have days when you remember the good times and miss your ex like crazy, and days when you try to justify the breakup and make sense of what went wrong. Your mind flips between longing and rationalizing, trying to protect you from the pain of something you didn’t fully choose.
If you’ve found yourself in a breakup forced by your parents, you’re dealing with a unique kind of pain—one that blends heartbreak with powerlessness. It makes you want to either win your parents’ approval or become someone who no longer needs it. If you’re not in a position to be fully independent, you’re going to struggle because you’ll be afraid of opposing your parents and disappointing them. You’ll feel tempted to do what they say just to avoid arguing with them.
Now, if you’ve built a family with the person you love, the decision becomes a no-brainer. You must always choose your spouse and children over your parents’ judgment. You shouldn’t leave your partner and make things difficult for the kids. Your partner and children are your new priority—and they should be treated that way.
But if you’re still young (let’s say 16 – 21), then your parents might have a final say. This, of course, depends on your cultural and religious background as well as the kind of relationship you have with your parents.
Your parents are the ones making all the important decisions in your life because you’re still so young and may not know what’s best for you yet. Perhaps in that case, it’s best to listen to them and focus on things they want you to focus on. They may not be okay with you dating anyone, not just your current partner. Maybe they want you to finish school or other responsibilities before you start dating. I don’t know what the logic behind their reasoning is, but if you’re not standing on your own two feet yet, it makes sense why they feel the need to tell you what’s best for you.
This is especially true if they always told you what to do and not to do.
Many parents around the world tell their kids who they should and shouldn’t date. While some do so out of genuine concern, others project their own fears, prejudices, or unfulfilled dreams onto their children. In cultures where family honor or tradition holds significant weight, this control can be especially intense. It can feel suffocatingly controlling, as if your personal choices are constantly being monitored and judged.
Because of their incessant need for control, many couples get tired of being disapproved of an choose their parents in the end. Some even start to despise their partners due to the pain their parents make them feel.
Controlling parents often overlook love and compatibility. They don’t see that their son or daughter truly loves his or her partner and wants to be in a serious commitment with that person. Despite what their child craves and needs, they stay set on their decision and expect their child to do what they say. This gives them control over their child’s life and makes them his or her child’s top priority.
Some parents get jealous of the attention they’re missing out on. In many cases, moms feel ignored or replaced, so they create exaggerated concerns about why the new partner isn’t right for their child. They’re not looking out for their child’s best interest, but their own because they’re scared of finding their own purpose in life.
Needless to say, they act like they’re in a relationship with their child and feel scared of losing him or her to someone else. Such parents are usually separated and have very little social interaction in their lives (feel lonely). Or, they’re too close to their child and fear losing control over him or her (possessiveness). They’re afraid of change and what may happen when their child fully grows up.
If your parents forced a breakup on you despite your desire to stay in the relationship, they expressed dissatisfaction with your timing, your choice of partner, or the fact that you were emotionally distancing yourself from them. If you’re old enough to make your own decisions, they judged your partner based on their own biases, fears, or expectations. They may have disapproved of your partner’s background, career, religion, personality, family, lifestyle, vices, or even something as superficial as appearance.
Sometimes they’re just worried you’ll get hurt or make the wrong choice. Other times, it’s more about control, pride, or thinking they know what’s best for you—whether you agree or not.
If they’re just worried you’ll get hurt, they’ll probably change their mind when you assure them you can handle the worst. But if they’re prideful, stubborn, and determined they’re right and you’re wrong, then you likely won’t change their mind no matter how politely you explain things. One of the hardest things in life is changing people’s deeprooted beliefs.
Especially when those beliefs are backed by anger, resentment, disgust, and other strong negative emotions.
That said, here’s what makes breakups forced by parents so difficult.
My parents want me to break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend
In some countries, it’s common for parents to approve or disapprove of their child’s dating choices, so trying to change that tradition might not be realistic or fair. It may be better to accept your fate and simply do what your parents want. Tell them you don’t agree with their decision but that you respect it nonetheless. It’s better not to oppose their beliefs, especially if you’re relying on them for basic human needs such as food, shelter, and clothes.
However, if you live on your own, take care of your own needs, and come from a culture where you’re free to make your own romantic decisions, then your choices deserve to be respected. You must be brave and tell your parents you’ve developed a unique bond with your partner—and that they’ll have to respect it whether they like it or not. If they want to reassess things, you can talk about the things that bother them and look for a solution if there is one. But if they insist on not wanting you to be with your partner, then you can decrease the number of times you see your parents, see them without your partner, or not see them at all.
The last option is especially difficult because we’re talking about people who raised you. But sometimes even people closest to us make unreasonable, selfish demands that serve them more than they serve us. When that happens, it may be appropriate to distance ourselves from them and justify it by telling ourselves that we deserve romantic happiness, just like them, and that it’s a fundamental human need.
If your parents aren’t happy that you’re happy, it’s hard to imagine them appreciating your connection with your partner. They don’t know or care how you feel, so explaining it to them won’t change anything. It probably would have changed it by now if it could have.
If you haven’t talked to them about your happiness, your compatibility with your partner, and your ability to handle the diifficulties that come from being in a relationship, tell them what they want to hear. But if you tried it already and failed, it may not leave you any other option but to decide whether to listen to your parents’ opinion or your feelings.
Just know that whoever you choose in the end, there will be consequences. Choosing your parents may give you a sense of loyalty, but it will also leave you feeling powerless, guilty, anxious, and heartbroken. On the other hand, choosing your partner could create tension or distance, or perhaps even cause you to stop talking.
If you stay with your partner despite your parents’ disapproval, chances are it will affect your relationship and eventually trigger a breakup. When parents disapprove of their child’s relationship, they hurt their child and cause their child to associate stress with their partner. When a lot of stress has piled up, he or she often begins to wonder if pain will disappear when he or she initiates the breakup. Such thoughts often lead to a loss of feelings and a breakup.
This is a serious issue, so don’t sweep it under the rug and think your parents will eventually accept your partner. Without some major changes in their perspective or life circumstances, they’re unlikely to let go of their negative views and accept your partner into the family. It might take them years to come around—if they ever do. Things are too uncertain for you to keep hoping and waiting. It’s not good for you and your partner’s well-being to be in a relationship with disapproving parents.
If you decide to stay together despite that, make plans on what to do when/if your parents kick you out, stop supporting you, or pressure you with threats or ultimatums. If you don’t have the answer for it and lack the willpower to persevere, it may be best to end things now, especially if you know how persistent your parents can be.
Winning people’s recognition won’t be easy
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you probably already know that chasing someone’s recognition is one of the most degrading things you can put yourself through. Chasing, begging, and walking on eggshells places your self-worth in someone else’s hands and makes you feel like you have to earn somethin as basic as respect and acceptance. The more you try to prove yourself, the more you fail and the more powerless and unimportant you feel.
Slowly, you become afraid of rejection, shape yourself into someone you think they want you to be, and lose your dignity.
The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes. You deserve very little credit for being what you are.
Dale carnegie
Everyone deserves a fair chance based on their internal qualities. People should be respected for who they are, not the external fortunes they possess. Sure, having a stable job is important, but that alone doesn’t define a person’s true value. At least not to the right people. The right people will value you for the person you are and your ability to take care of them/their child.
They’ll see past your exterior, including your job title, income, background, or appearance and instead, focus on who you are at your core and recognize kindness, emotional intelligence, loyalty, and how you treat others. Loving/accepting people value connection over status and substance over surface. You won’t need to impress them because just being yourself will be enough.
I realized this way too late—after my relationship ended. If I realized it sooner, I would have never gotten into a relationship, knowing my partner’s parents didn’t like me.
Just as you deserve limited credit for who you are at your core, so do your and your partner’s parents. They became who they are largely because of the society they grew up in, the way they were raised, their mindset, and countless other factors—many of which were outside their control.
People usually form an opinion of someone within seconds. They quickly assess whether the person is visually appealing, observe his or her body language, and notice how he or she speaks. Changing this opinion isn’t easy. It takes not just time, but also an open mind. Parents can change their opinion of their child’s dating interest by lowering their expcations and understanding that their child is capable of making important decisions on his or her own.
My partner’s parents want us to break up
If your partner’s parents dislike you and insist that you should break up, the situation can be even more difficult than if your own parents were pushing for the breakup. When your partner is pressured to leave you, you have even less control over what happens. You can only hope that your partner loves you, convinces his or her parents that you’re a worthy partner, or chooses you over them. It’s much more personal because you know that even if you stay together despite their disaproval, your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s parents will continue to disapprove of you and want you gone.
Whether you stay together or break up, you’ll end up paying the price—simply because your partner’s parents disapprove of you. It’s unfair that you’ll suffer at the hands of people who shouldn’t be involved in your relationship.
I’ve been in a relationship where my girlfriend’s parents disapproved of me, so I know firsthand that it’s anything but fun. I remember having to hide every time her parents video called or came to visit. I never fully understood why they didn’t like me (I suspect it might have been my background), but what I do know is that it made the entire experience stressful and disheartening. Instead of talking and bonding with her parents, I worried about whether they would ever change their opinion about me.
That relationship didn’t work out for a number of reasons, but after the breakup, I made a promise to myself, which is that I’ll only date people whose family genuinely approves of me. I don’t need their validation, but I do need my partner to be surrounded by supportive people who approve of our relationship. I don’t want opposing friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or family members to add stress to my relationships.
Relationships are difficult enough as they are. When parents get involved and demand things, they seldom end well.
So ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship where your partner’s parents dislike you. Do you want to hide, pretend you’re friends, or worry about what parents think about you? You may be in love and attached, but feelings won’t fix your messy situation. They will worsen it because they’ll prevent you from thinking rationally.
Think long and hard about being with a person whose parents dislike you. If you acted strangely or inconsiderately, you can probably change their mind by apologizing and telling or showing them you’ve learned their lesson. But if they’ve formed a negative opinion of you basically for no real reason, then it’s unlikely that they’ll slowly see you differently, no matter how hard you try.
When people dislike you, they tend to stick to their opinion, especially when there’s more than one of them reinforcing it.
How to deal with a forced breakup because of parents?
Getting your parents to like your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t be easy. Whether you succeed depends largely on how open-minded your parents are and how skilled you are at communicating and winning people over. If you can get them to sit down and open their hearts to you, they may see that you truly care about your partner and want to do whatever it takes to stay together.
If explaining to them and showing them that you love your partner with all your heart doesn’t convince your parents to give your relationship a chance, you can try to include your partner in their life and encourage them to bond. It won’t be easy for them to interact, but if they get to know one another better, they may be able to see that they have more things in common than they initially thought.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend should also try to apologize for upsetting them. Sometimes an apology can lower parents’ defenses and change their minds.
The problem you’re likely to face is that your parents won’t agree to see your partner, let alone talk to him or her. They’ll insist that they have nothing to say to your partner and that you must do what they say. In that case, you should give up on changing their mind in the short term. They won’t come around because they’re not the kind of people you can reason with. When they decide they don’t like someone, they don’t like him or her, period.
You should let them believe what they want and make your own decision:
- Either continue the relationship without their approval or knowledge—and risk losing their support.
- Or break up with your partner.
Are your parents forcing you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend? What are you going to do if they don’t approve? Comment below.
And if you’re looking for help with disapproving parents, reach out to us by subscribing to coaching.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I’m nearly 21 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. I had lied about meeting him and my parents found out, they disapproved of him instantly especially because he was a different background than me. My parents focused on the stereotypes of his culture and never properly sat down to talk with him or get to know him. This made me want to hide my relationship which caused more tension between my parents and I. My mother would constantly talk to me about it and argue every time I went out with him, we eventually broke up after 6 months and then quickly got back together. We were secretly dating for months, it was hard but we made it work for us, however, my mother found out and gave me an ultimatum of him of them and we broke up. I have so much fear surrounding my parents, I love him and he is ready to give me the world, but the idea of my parents never accepting him and never having a happy life with both my partner and my parents kills me, since family is such a big thing in my culture. It hurts so much knowing how much i’ve actually hurt him, I just wish it didn’t end like this.
Hi Sarah.
It’s extremely difficult when the family gets involved. Family members tend to cause problems for the couple and oftentimes even push their son or daughter to dislike or hate his or her partner. I don’t think you should keep hiding forever, Sarah. You either want your parents to accept your boyfriend or let go of him and find someone they’ll welcome into the family.
Their opinion about him likely won’t change. I don’t think they’ll respect your opinion even if you wait 5 years.
Sincerely,
Zan
I’m 23 years old from a south Asian country and I dated my bf (26) for 2 years. He’s from a different county and naturally my parents didn’t approve of him because of that and the fact that he’s from a different religion. He was the best man I’ve ever met and our relationship was the happiest 2 years of my life. I’m got into medical school 4000+km away from our current situation. This plus Unsupporting parents have forced me to break up with him before I leave. We both were ready to get married and spend our lives together because the whole relationship was so easy and natural. It’s so painful and I don’t know how to cope without him.
I’m 27 and my bf is 27. I’m Hispanic and he is American (white) we been 7 months together , He’s mom is a counselor and he come from a wealthy family. However , she only met me once and she had tried so much to make him break up with me, we been kind leaving together and we are both completely independent. She blocks me from his phone, she made us canceled a Jamaica trip because she thinks because I’m Latina will kill him, she set up a date for him without he wanting it, she gets mad if a post pictures of myself even if there not inappropriate. she thinks is disrectpetfull if we go out and kiss. He is kinda scared because he docent want to ruin there relationship, but he does trully love me, but is just kinda complicated. I love him a lot but i’m felling overwhelmed by the situation. He is going to try to talk to her again to set boundaries.
Hi.
Your boyfriend’s mom is going to be hard to convince. I don’t want to stereotype, but people her age and contempt are hard to persuade.
Your boyfriend will have to stand up for you and tell his mom to stay out of his relationship. This will probably create tension between them, but it’s necessary if he wants you in his life.
Best regards,
Zan
Feelings are terrible. I have no one to share, found his blog so venting it here. I am a 26 year old woman with stable income. My boyfriend was 27 years in the same occupation with good income. 3 years of relationship, when parents were invited to meeting, my parents diapproved of the relation because some statements which were said by my boyfriends’ parents. They found it insulting though nothing direct was said.
When my boyfriend came to settle things, he lost his temper, that became the sole reason for the disapproval of relationship. Repeated efforts were done. But it failed. Like why?
Things have become bitter between us too. While all we had dreamt was to spend our life together doing good things.
I am clueless whose fault it is and why things went wrong.
I gave in. I quit.
Hi Ferishta.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Parents sometimes put “unnecessary” pressure on the relationship by imposing their thoughts and beliefs.
You and your boyfriend will both have to sternly tell your parents not to get involved if you want to give your relationship a fair chance.
Changing their opinion will be difficult, but you may be able to get them to stay out of it. It depends on the influence they have on your lives.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thanks for this soothing information, I am 37 and my fiance is 25, her parents – dad, rejected our marriage proposal but with no clear reason given to us. We have been together for 2 years, and when we decided to make our relation legal, that is when our love crumbled to pieces.
My girl’s dad is a soldier. I first approached her mother and informed her of our arrangements to get married, her mother accepted and she told me she would be giving me a reply after consulting from the girls father, because the two were not living together.
After consulting the father, he said he will be calling me and tell me his response, 2 months passed on without hearing anything from the girls father. And access to the girl was cut off from me because her father took her to the army barracks to leave with her, 2 days after my proposal to marry her.
The girl made an attempt to escape from the army barracks and her father beat her severely to the point of getting admitted to the hospital. After 1 week, the girl phoned me, and told me that, for the sake of my life, we should end this relationship, because her father was eager to do something nasty to me.
Right now I have too much hate for the father and mother
My mom doesn’t even wants me to date at all cos she believed dat am gonna lose my virginity. It’s been Soo hard for me ion understand my mum she doesn’t understand me. Very heart broken wen she decided to stop supporting me financially all because she caught me dating.😭😭
Why do writers have to be so narrow minded and shallow. Especially when you have written about the point I need to make. If your child is involved with someone who will ultimately destroy their lives yes you as a parent are obligated to do all you can to prevent that. We as parents don’t sign up to have all our love care worry and sacrifices obliterated by some jerk coming along with an agenda. My daughter was in love with a convicted felon then a narcissist. But you dont write about those possibilities which should never be overlooked. Caring doting loving parents don’t deserve the pergatory I am my husband are in because we tried to defend the amazing life our daughter was on track to have and is now destroyed because of predators that she was ignorant of.
Hi, well this article was refreshing and liked how it tackled both side of the coin.i was in the same situation. I am 30 and my ex was 31.my parents dint approve of him for many different reason different culture, he is still in uni and has another 2.5yrs to go,, financial status,, and many more.
They did convince me and we broke up. But I tell myself maybe it’s for the best.We were together for an 1yr.
I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 20. Technically we do not consider ourselves together because of my family. I come from a Muslim and Black background and my father was a Lieutenant Commander in the military. The guy I want to be with is currently 20 and enlisted in the Marines. He’s such an amazing guy and he makes me feel beautiful and see my worth and we both fill in the pieces of each other that the other is missing. I met him when I first started college through mutual friends and we’ve known each other for almost a year now. He’s so perfect for me but my parents refuse to let me be with him because of the fact that he is 1. enlisted and 2. comes from a different socioeconomic status and race than me. It seems so unfair that they can’t allow me to figure out what it is that I want in a person. This isn’t the first, second, or even third time they’ve broken up a relationship of mine before even meeting the person and I’ve become so resentful of them. They think by trying to end my love with him it will bring me closer to them and what they want for me but in reality it is just pushing me away from them. I want nothing but the free will to decide what I want/who I want as my lifelong partner and I only wish they could understand where I’m coming from.
My boyfriend of 6 months (he’s turning 18 tomorrow and I’m 17) was forced to break up with me by his parents because they didn’t think I was right for him and because I’m Catholic (he’s just Christian) and as far as I know we still think we’ll be able to get back together one day but now is not the time because as long as he lives in their house, he’s forbidden from dating me. Is there still hope?
I’m 25 and he’s 28. We’re gay couple and dating for 15 months. Things got serious and he wanted our relationship to be real without hiding. He out on his parents and told about our relationship. He’s so close with his family and their validation is really important to him. Unfortunately, his parents can’t accept that their son had a partner. His family is very traditional and think that out love is immoral. His parents want us to breakup and advised him that engaging in same sex relationship is abomination and mortal sin against God. Out of respect for his family that he dearly loved, he broke up with men and respect his decision. And now, I’m left devastated. Although I don’t have any anger towards his family because I know they’re just protecting their son.
Im 15 (probably a little too young) and my gf is the same age , right now were sophmores in high school. Weve been dating for a year, my mother is really controlling and toxic and its been messing with mental health and my relationship. Me and my girlfriend are very much in love with each other, whenever we argue we talk about it after and learn from it and get stronger, we always talk about the future and what we want to do in life and we love spending time with each other, were practically inseparable. Me and my gf are going through the same situation and its been really really hard for the both of us. When i asked her out i imeadietly told my parents ,but i didn’t get the reaction i was hoping for. My mother was upset and was crying , and my step dad was annoyed. My mother kept saying i was too young and said I needed to break up with her but i said no of course. This really hurt because i expected them to be supportive of my decision. As we were dating my mother met my gf and her mother, they exchanged numbers and it led to some problems. My mother would text her from time to time telling her mom that she didnt like us dating, and her mom didnt like it.That went on for a while and my mother just got more toxic and controlling , it caused me to have really bad anxiety and deppresson, this led to a scuicide attempt and a stay at a mental hospital .I still deal with depression and anxiety because of this and because of my mothers toxicity. Then in early july we got into our worst argument and we both said things we didnt mean so she cut off all communication between me and my gf , and sent me away. Im back home now and text her through insta on my ps4 using its Internet browser. My mother took my phone so i cant get help and gets mad every time i bring up my gf, she also threatened to send me away for good if i ever talk to her again , she blames my depression on my gf and thinks were only dating for sex. My gf’s family loved me a lot and it felt special because my family isnt too close , i really need advice or help , me and my gf just want things to go back to normal :((
Bro…..Just focus on career and explain your feelings to her family.
This is the exact condition with me….I m so shocked on being so relatable to uh….I too don’t know what to do….either to support our love or go with my parents decision for break up…
call the police
I’m 20 and he is 24. We cared,loved, understood,respected,listened and was there to support each other, we were a very good team even though we were different. He broke up with me yesterday since his family (Christian evangelical) did not approve of my faith (agnostic) ,mum’s faith(Buddhism,dad’s faith (agnostic), the fact I have not got a uni degree, my career to become a Personal Trainer(my ex is focusing as a Lawyer), the fact my parents are divorced and so on. They believe that if me and him were to get married our family would clash and his parents did not accept me for who I was. He parents did not want to see me after the first meeting ,disrespected my background which my ex did stick up for me and I explained to him that I wasn’t happy with how they judged me. In the end he said he didn’t want to upset his parents , they never let him and his siblings do what they love and always chose what they thought was ‘best’ for them. I could understand my bf was in the hardest position as he was in-between but he gave in to his family, I do not blame him but what I do believe is that if your child is capable of thinking of what’s good and what not then they should let them choose instead of pressuring, controlling,guilt tripping and all those things that should not be used. I told him to choose what makes him happy because parents want to see their children happy but with his parents I guess their’happiness’ is different to others. I hate to think this but sometimes if he really wanted to be with me he would have chosen me, at the same time he wants his parents to be happy so the choice is hard as he wants both but cannot grip onto it. Right now I am accepting my feelings, to try move on, remember what I have instead of what I don’t have, focus on myself and when the time comes that I am ready to trial and error to find that person I want in my life. I thought we would both be able to get through as I saw my ex as strong and optimistic like me but it did not turn out that way. For everyone who is experiencing a forced break up because of parents remind yourself that it happened for a reason and more opportunities will open for you. Just do you and make yourself happy 🙂 there’s so much in life to encounter
@samantha I feel you, i am 15 and my ex is 20 . We really love each other but he broke up because his father threatened him that he will abandon his mother and him if he will continue to date me. My bf really loves his mother but he lobes me too , i know he is really afraid and he once mentioned about suicide , i think that he needs me very much right now but he is not picking up my calls as he is afraid, i want to reach out to him and tell him that i am there for him and even his mother in their familie’s hard time , He dosent realise that he is abandoning me . to be honest i think of his parents as my own parents and i was planning on proposing him with a promise ring in march 2021. I dont know how to reach out to the person i truly love and with whom ,together, we had planned our future. * cries herself to sleep every night *
Hi….
I read ur thoughts…. I’m in the same position, whatever u said is directly implying on us. I’m 24 years.. he is 28 years… We met at work place for the first time. When he proposed I informed my mother, he is from another state and we have different language and all…. After my mom told let’s see, I have no objection, ur dad also might accept it. I got little strength even though my parents are from village, they worry more about society and people than their children, I got committed to relationship, only because I felt I will be happy with him for rest of my life, k got good one like that. I never mentioned him as my boyfriend, I always told he is my husband. He gave hopes like his parents won’t be against to it. He also told his mom, she also accepted completely. and he told he will convince my father. It’s been 2 and half years. I told my father 8 months back. He is like sometime ok, and sometimes not ok. His concerns are communication and region. Not caste or religion. Even though he accepted to talk with him for my happiness and told him to let their parents talk about it. His dad agreed before and talked with me 3 – 4 times tn video call. But when my dad was almost agreed to the relationship, his father went against to it. Saying u r already 28, u r elder son, I’m getting retired this year, u should marry in this year, and take care of ur brother’s post graduation after medecine. Ande he told he doesn’t have any problem with the girl(me), but his one and only concern is communication with my parents (as he think he is going to leave with my parents). He is still begging his dad to accept, we will be happy and all but he is not ready to listen. His dad told he is never going to accept. I asked my boyfriend to let’s stay as single with parents until they accept… But my boyfriend is like he can’t prolong it, since he is elder son and have responsibility. I I have not given up on u but if parents won’t agree, they they will be the reason for this breakup not me… And he wants me to get married to a better guy than him. Even though he hasn’t give up and asking his parents, but when he told he can’t wait for me, I don’t understand it…. How elder’s son responsibility affecting our relation and he is staying single…. Even many people as elder at home didn’t marry and took care of their parents and siblings…..
Please help me what I have to do…..
Im 19 years old and my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a half. something happened where i had to go to the hospital and my parents went to his house and told him to stay away from us. he has helped me so much and we planned to do a lot of things together that would benefit the both of us. my mom took my phone read thru all of my messages and came into my room and started yelling at me. i cant trust her with anything and shes mad that i never tell her anything. she was trying to convince me that he cheated on me and she always talks behind our backs. my dad wont give me my phone or car keys back until i cut him out of my life completely. him and i are in so much pain and we love each other so much. he wants me to move out with him but im not financially ready but i also want to leave my house. i deal with so much stress and anxiety and my boyfriend has always helped me.
You obviously are young and hold bitterness towards your parents. One thing you did not cover though is when parents disapprove because a boyfriend is emotionally abusive to their daughter. When he controls her every move, cuts her off from friends she has had forever, restricts her time with family , and makes all her decisions. This is when someone needs to step in for safety sake because that’s not him loving her. Parents usually have their child’s best interest at heart. They almost always want the best for their child. It’s bombastic of you to assume parents ask children to break up for selfish gains.
I’m 33 years and I have been dating a guy from 2018 …he came to seek permission and after fell sick was diagnosed with stage1 throat cancer automatically my mom started hating him and said he will eventually die and apart Fri. That he is poor and the social levels are different ,my mom told me to cut off communication and distance myself from him that he is just using me to get finance’s and also he will die, she has influenced my whole family against him and I opted to keep the relationship a secret. This year my boyfriend was diagnosed cancer free and wants to marry me I’m in a dilemma because my mom knows that I had broken up with him.
I love him and I love my family to
But i don’t know what to do because everyone including my friends have no faith
I’m 17 and currently in the most stressful situation when it comes down to who I am dating. My mom was never the most supportive of interracial dating and that made things hard for my current relationship. Since December 28th of 2019 I had been talking to this guy and eventually got into a relationship with him around the middle of January. This lasted until May 22 when my mom found out about it and took my phone and forced me to cut off all ties with him. She text him the day it happened and was fortunately very polite but told him he and I couldn’t be together due to “my focuse on school”. I tried to explain to her that he was an amazing person and wanted to meet her but she refused all those possibilities and still has my phone. I don’t know what to do because my heart is in such a hard place and I feel so much weight in my chest. He helped me become a better person and emotionally met the standards I had set for a guy. I just can’t seem to let this go. Personally I am a strong believer in Christ and I’ve prayed that the situation be healed. I feel that our relationship has potential and I feel right about being with this person. How am I supposed to go about this situation?
if you love him – you will NEVER, NEVER leave him, otherwise it’s not love. Everything happens for a reason. When you both go through this – you will be unstoppable. My advice to you and your boyfriend – stick together, wherever it takes.
Hi….
I’m 24 years.. he is 28 years… We met at work place for the first time. When he proposed I informed my mother, he is from another state and we have different language and all…. After my mom told let’s see, I have no objection, ur dad also might accept it. I got little strength even though my parents are from village, they worry more about society and people than their children, I got committed to relationship, only because I felt I will be happy with him for rest of my life, k got good one like that. I never mentioned him as my boyfriend, I always told he is my husband. He gave hopes like his parents won’t be against to it. He also told his mom, she also accepted completely. and he told he will convince my father. It’s been 2 and half years. I told my father 8 months back. He is like sometime ok, and sometimes not ok. His concerns are communication and region. Not caste or religion. Even though he accepted to talk with him for my happiness and told him to let their parents talk about it. His dad agreed before and talked with me 3 – 4 times tn video call. But when my dad was almost agreed to the relationship, his father went against to it. Saying u r already 28, u r elder son, I’m getting retired this year, u should marry in this year, and take care of ur brother’s post graduation after medecine. Ande he told he doesn’t have any problem with the girl(me), but his one and only concern is communication with my parents (as he think he is going to leave with my parents). He is still begging his dad to accept, we will be happy and all but he is not ready to listen. His dad told he is never going to accept. I asked my boyfriend to let’s stay as single with parents until they accept… But my boyfriend is like he can’t prolong it, since he is elder son and have responsibility. I I have not given up on u but if parents won’t agree, they they will be the reason for this breakup not me… And he wants me to get married to a better guy than him. Even though he hasn’t give up and asking his parents, but when he told he can’t wait for me, I don’t understand it…. How elder’s son responsibility affecting our relation and he is staying single…. Even many people as elder at home didn’t marry and took care of their parents and siblings…..
Please help me what I have to do…..
I’m probably a little too young for this but I just wanna say something. I’m 16 and I’m dating this guy who is a couple months younger than me. We have been together for 6 months now and me and him genuinely like each other. When my parents first found out about my relationship, it was a really tough time for the both of us. I’m Vietnamese and my family is very strict. They were also disappointed with the fact that I hid it from them for almost 2 months. They wanted us to stay just friends because they think “we’re too young.” Me and my boyfriend have been through a lot of problems in the relationship that were meant to tear us apart but we actually came out stronger and learned to love and appreciate each other a lot more because we both learned that no matter what, we will be there for each other. He is also Vietnamese like me but his parents are fine with it. Just recently, my parents got mad at me for talking to him so much that I sometimes forget about responsibilities I have (which I admit is really dumb of me and I’m trying to learn from it). They have a conversation with me and I cried and they got mad at me for crying because they thought I was acting like I’m 25 and about to get married. They don’t really seem to understand how me and my partner really feel for each other and I really want to tell them how we really do feel, but I’m not very good with words so I don’t know what to say and keep quiet. They have nothing against my boyfriend and think he is a good guy but I just wish there was some way I can get them to understand.
I 100% agree with your opinion. Nonethless, my learnings from personal experience is, I should’ve known how my parents are. Perhaps if I kept my head down and guarded my heart, I would not have been in such an unbearable situation. I pray the future is brighter.