Dreaming About Your Ex Sleeping With Someone Else

If you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else, you’re likely dreaming about your worst fears. You’re afraid that the person you love will find someone else, sleep with him or her, and invalidate your feelings and investment as an ex-partner.

Basically, you’re scared that your ex will be intimate with someone else, cross the point of no return, and like the new person more than you. Your brain is trying to warn you that your ex’s new romantic or sexual relationship would go against your wishes and that it could be dangerous for you.

If your ex were to sleep with someone else, you’d feel threatened and unsure of yourself. You’d compare yourself to your ex’s new partner, wonder what he or she has that you don’t, and experience a lot of pain due to the fact that someone else has gotten so close to your ex.

If you had one dream about your ex sleeping with someone else, your dream is quite normal (especially if the breakup happened not too long ago). Ex-dreams of any kind indicate that you’re still obsessed with your ex and need more time to disconnect from him or her.

You’re not ready to let go of your ex and see your ex happy with someone else.

You want your ex to work on relationship goals with you and be happy with you. When you were a couple, your ex seemed content. Things weren’t perfect, but they were stable and comfortable. Now that your ex is gone, though, you feel uncertain and anxious. You wonder why things ended the way they did and what you could have done to prevent the breakup.

Every day without your ex seems like a wasted, unfulfilled day. You’d rather do nothing with your ex all day than do something alone and be miserable without your ex from morning till evening. This is because your ex’s acceptance gives you a feeling of reassurance, which eases your separation anxiety and fear of being replaced and forgotten.

The thought of getting back together doesn’t give you everything you need, but it does temporarily conceal reality and give you hope. Hope feels reassuring because it tells you there’s a chance of getting what you truly desire (your ex). The chance may not be high, but it could happen, provided things go the way you want them to.

So if you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else, bear in mind that you’re having these dreams due to unmet expectations (desires) and insecurities (fears). You want to be with your ex and don’t want your ex to meet the love of his or her life. You still consider your ex a person you could make the relationship work with and be happy with.

You can’t or rather, don’t want to imagine someone other than you getting your ex’s benefits. You especially don’t want that if you worked hard to help your ex become the person he or she is today. If you helped your ex financially, emotionally, psychologically, or physically, you feel like you’ve gone above and beyond for your ex.

You’d invested your heart and soul into your ex and gotten used to being with your ex. The last thing you want is for some random person to take your spot, pick up “your work,” and sleep with your ex. If someone new were to be with your ex both physically and emotionally, all your hard work would go to waste.

You’d get hurt because you’d lose months or years of investment and take the replacement personally. It’d be hard not to think of the person who comes after you as your competition.

While you have feelings for your ex, expect to analyze your ex’s new partners or potential partners and compare them to you.

Expect to compare their looks, education, work, interests, vices, maturity, and lifestyle. You’ll do this consciously or subconsciously because you’ll want to come out on top and impress your ex.

In this post, we’ll discuss why you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else. We’ll also analyze what your dream or dreams could mean and what you should do about them.

Why am I dreaming about my ex sleeping with someone else?

Dreams about your ex sleeping with someone else are perfectly normal. They mean that you haven’t fully processed the breakup yet and that you probably still want your ex back. If you don’t want your ex back, then you remember how you felt when your ex left you. You remember how weak, insecure, anxious, hopeless, and rejected you felt and that you were terrified of your ex finding someone else and sleeping with him or her.

You may not actively think about it, but your brain hasn’t forgotten the trauma it suffered as a result of the breakup. Deep inside, it fears another rejection/monkey-branching situation. It’s trying to remind you that although you’ve survived the breakup, it’d be very inconvenient to undergo another similar experience.

Another negative experience could trigger old traumas and make life very difficult for you.

So if the breakup is fresh, you’re probably dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else because that’s what you’d least like to see. Consider it a nightmare caused by the rejection and anxiety you feel daily as a result of your ex. Due to overwhelming pain and unmanifested cravings, you have dreams about your ex. These dreams probably cause you a ton of anxiety and make you overanalyze their meaning.

Fortunately, their meaning is very straightforward. You’re having these dreams because you feel abandoned and threatened by your ex’s (potential) new partner. You don’t want to lose your ex to someone else and be the only one who has to deal with pain and start from scratch. You want your ex to be unhappy like you so that you both want to get back together, not just you.

If you had just one dream about your ex sleeping with someone else, you probably have nothing to worry about. One or two dreams can be considered normal because they indicate pain and a desire to fix things. Multiple dreams, however, show obsession and prove that you’re still in the early stages of a breakup and that it will take a while longer to get your ex out of your system.

Sometimes dumpees have dreams about their ex randomly. They’re over or almost over their ex but have multiple dreams about their ex in a row. Some dream about their ex kissing them and having sex with them whereas others dream about their ex returning and wanting them back.

Random dreams have nothing to do with remaining romantic feelings. They’re either completely random or triggered by things that remind dumpees of their ex. Things like songs, places, food, words, and gestures. All of these cause reminders of the past and make dumpees dream of their ex even years after the breakup.

I sometimes dream about my ex as well. I don’t dream about her having sex with another person, but she does get pretty close to sleeping with me. Normally, I choose my partner and reject her. If I were to analyze the dreams, I wouldn’t find any reasonable explanations behind them because I’m over her.

But I do still remember the way she treated me and the pain she caused me after the breakup. That pain is hard to forget.

So if you’re wondering why you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else, it could be because your ex caused you a lot of pain and suffering. He or she made it hard for you to love yourself, so you’re indirectly both remembering and avoiding those moments. You’re afraid that you’ll suffer that badly again and need months to recover.

Most people dream about their ex once in a while. They don’t always remember it and don’t necessarily dream about their ex sleeping with someone else, but they do have other crazy dreams they can’t explain. Some are even happily married but still dream about their ex. They don’t understand why they’re having dreams about their ex because there is nothing to understand.

Their ex was a serious part of their life for a while, so they dream about their ex simply because they were attached and in love with their ex. They had romantic feelings and plans to stay with their ex when their ex pulled the rug out from under them. Such dumpees had to accept the breakup the hard way and relearn to love themselves.

Because their ex dumped them out of the blue, they got obsessed with their ex and dreamed about him or her from time to time. They couldn’t get their ex out of their head no matter how hard they tried, so they had to accept that it would take some time to recover.

Recovery times vary from person to person.

But most people stop dreaming about their ex when they stop obsessing over their ex. This means they sleep better and have more pleasant dreams when they detox from their ex, get busy, and enjoy their own company. They might still dream about their ex and their other fears occasionally, but not as often as they did right after the breakup.

Recurring ex-dreams tend to cease when dumpees come to terms with the breakup and stop caring about their ex dating someone else. They don’t have many or any more dreams because they’ve overcome their fears and found better things and people to think and dream about.

So don’t worry too much if you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else. As soon as you detach from your ex, your ex-dreams will lose their reasons to occur.

Having said that, here’s why you’re dreaming about your ex sleeping with other people.

Bear in mind that you’re perfectly healthy. Whether the breakup happened a week, a month, a year, or a decade ago, occasional dreams about ex-partners are to be expected. You’ll have dreams about your exes (especially exes who dumped you) once in a while.

The exes who made the biggest impact on you emotionally will pop into your dreams much more than the exes you’ve dumped and haven’t thought about in ages. Unwanted and repetitive dreams typically require obsessive thought patterns and unprocessed emotions. They give dreams a reason to occur and the fuel to recur.

Can I do anything to stop dreaming about my ex?

Absolutely! You can do a lot to stop dreaming about your ex. However, you first have to understand that your thoughts and emotions may be responsible for your recurring ex-dreams. If you just got dumped and you’re thinking about your ex 24/7, you probably can’t do much to not think about your ex because you first need to process the breakup.

But if you’re stalking your ex, talking to your ex, and making all the breakup mistakes in the book, then you can’t blame the breakup for your problems. You can and should blame your unwillingness to follow the rules of no contact.

To rectify the problem, you must immediately commence no contact and create some distance between you and your ex. You must get rid of your ex so that you can get used to not talking with your ex. You won’t detach immediately, but you will start regaining your lost power and feeling better.

And when you feel better, you’ll probably have fewer negative emotions that trigger unwanted ex-dreams.

So don’t expect to get over your ex and stop dreaming about your ex if you don’t stop what you’re doing and get your ex out of your life. Expect your dreams to keep coming back and confusing you.

If you’re not talking to your ex or doing anything wrong, then you’ll have to get busy with your life. Find things and people to occupy your mind with. This can be new and old friends, hobbies, work, and anything you like or liked to do before the breakup. The best way to regain control of your thoughts, emotions, and life after the breakup is to replace your ex with new, interesting people and things.

You don’t have to date if you’re not ready for it but do talk to some people and get your confidence back up. When you’re over your ex, you should date someone else. That person will eventually overshadow your ex both in dreams and the real world.

Also, stop analyzing dreams, looking for explanations about them online, and forcing yourself to keep thinking about them. Dreams are just dreams. Most of them are random and mean nothing other than that you might be obsessed with something or someone. If you’re obsessed, you have to stop being obsessed.

Do that by brushing the dreams off and forgetting about them. Tell yourself they don’t matter and that your life goes on no matter what you dream about. The less importance you give them, the quicker you’ll stop thinking about them and forget about them altogether.

Thoughts are energy. When you stop generating energy because of your ex, you’ll have more energy to spend elsewhere (on more productive matters).

So stop dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else by refusing to give your dreams any significant meaning. Consider them healthy, but random occurrences that will wane or disappear with time. That will likely happen when you become okay with having them and get over your ex.

Are you dreaming about your ex sleeping with someone else? Why do you think you’re having these dreams? Comment below and let us know.

And if you’d like to chat with us about your ex-related dreams, check out our coaching options and get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.