Does He Miss Me As Much As I Miss Him?

“Does he miss me, will he miss me in no contact, how long before he misses me” are all common questions broken-hearted dumpees wish to know answers to.

Or at least they think they do.

The truth is that you as a dumpee, don’t want to know the truth because as you know—the truth always hurts. It doesn’t help you move on, nor does it help you lose hope any quicker.

If anything, knowing the answer (whether positive or negative) only makes your suffering worse. It either gives you a ton of false hope or shatters your self-esteem further, making your recovery harder than it needs to be. That’s why there’s really no point in knowing whether your ex misses you.

I’m aware of that fact that if your ex missed you, you would likely feel validated and worthy of your ex’s love. It would fill you up with optimism and make you think that it’s still possible for your broken relationship to work.

Your ex’s recognition would tell you that your relationship wasn’t a lie and that you matter to him as a person.

In other words, it would give you an ego boost.

So if you’re still curious and insist on finding out whether your ex misses you, this is the article for you.

Does my ex miss me as much as I miss him?

First of all, no dumper ever misses his dumpee as much as the dumpee misses him. This is a given and there’s no arguing with that.

The main reason why you miss your ex more than he misses you is because of the breakup itself.

The separation which for the lack of better words—messes you up so much, it leaves you devastated beyond the point of rational comprehension.

It leaves you so wounded you can’t tell up from down as if you’ve got the worst case of vertigo imaginable.

Due to the breakup, emotional and physical pain convince you that you miss your ex like crazy and need him back for your happiness. It’s a truly horrible feeling and ironically, drugs have the same effect.

As for your ex, he isn’t experiencing the dumpee’s syndrome from the loss of the relationship so he isn’t as negatively affected as you are.

It was his choice to end the relationship after all so your ex just can’t miss you as much as you’d like him to. And just to make things worse, you can’t deliberately make him miss you through acts of love either.

You see, when a person detaches from his partner, he loses attraction, care, love, and often—even respect for that person. So if you consider that for a second, you will understand why your ex doesn’t miss you after the breakup.

It’s impossible for him to miss you because he wants to get away from you. This is especially true if your breakup just occurred and your ex is still under the influence of the dumper’s syndrome.

My ex doesn’t miss me at all!

As a dumpee, you lack the power to influence your ex directly. So the most you can do is hope that your ex develops the kind of mentality where he becomes aware of your amazing traits.

Even though your ex may not miss you right now, it won’t necessarily stay that way forever. It really depends on what’s going on with your ex in his life. If he’s busy with other people and various activities, then he likely won’t miss you until the newness of his life turns into a boring routine.

Once your ex’s new friends get old and your ex makes his way out of the relief and elation stage, he will without a doubt become receptive again.

This means that he could miss you provided his life doesn’t go as he had planned.

And since it usually doesn’t or it turns boring eventually, all you have to do is wait until your ex gets to the third stage of the grass is greener syndrome.

Signs my ex misses me

It’s not easy to tell that your ex misses you as long as you’re in no contact—healing and recovering from the breakup.

You actually shouldn’t be looking for signs that your ex misses you because it quite frankly doesn’t matter. Not until he actually misses you enough to come back.

But if you’re still looking for hope to latch on to, here are some possible signs:

• frequent texting and calling
• apologizing profusely
• comparing you to his new partner/old life
• online and offline stalking
• actually saying he misses you

These are just a few signs that your ex misses you. But most of the time, you won’t know any of this is happening in the background.

If your ex misses you, he will likely just silently miss you without your awareness.

That’s why I said it’s pointless to know whether he actually misses you because you won’t be reaching out to him. He will.

Will my ex miss me in no contact?

Indefinite no contact is your best option when it comes to getting your ex to realize your worth—and essentially, make him miss you. There is truly no better way for your ex to miss you than to let your absence do its work.

Things your ex will miss about you:

• your personality

Things your ex won’t miss about you.

Apart from your bad personality traits, exes don’t miss the things you did for them frequently. Or if they do, it’s not enough for them to come back because of them. At least not soon after the breakup.

These things include:

• cooking
• cleaning
• shopping
• helping them out
• various skills and techniques
• babysitting their kids
• your history
• joint hobbies and activities
• your pets

Your ex initially won’t miss these things when his new partner doesn’t provide them. He could, however, miss them later on when he doesn’t get along with his partner and starts comparing his partner with you.

But the point I’m trying to make is that these things won’t be the incentive for getting back together. Your personality will be. And if it’s not your personality that attracts your ex back, it’s his broken ego and low self-esteem.

How to make my ex miss me?

Please don’t think there’s something you must personally do to make your ex miss you. All you “have to do” is remain in no contact and work on becoming the best version of yourself. Do this mainly for yourself to guarantee a smooth recovery as well as for your successful future relationships.

The more you invest in yourself right now, the better your relationships will be once you heal from heartbreak. That’s why you shouldn’t underestimate the power of no contact after the breakup.

Take this valuable time seriously as it could be the deciding factor in getting your ex to miss you and ultimately, want you back.

Here’s how you inadvertently make your ex miss you in the long-run.

A while back, we’ve conducted a survey and learned that 90% of dumpees will hear from their exes again. Most of them will get contacted by their exes within the first 6 months of no contact, and chances are, you will too.

Once your ex experiences the aforementioned grass is greener syndrome: GIGS, your ex will reach out to you. And if you’re lucky, he might even tell you he misses you.

But until that happens, you don’t beg, cry, or talk to your ex. You must instead diligently obey the rules of no contact—which every dumpee should strictly adhere to.

Learn these rules, memorize them and make them your second nature because they should be used on anyone who doesn’t respect you.

Your ex needs a push

Have you ever noticed that you miss your ex more when something bad happens to you?

If you did, that’s because you immediately thought back to the day when you felt safe and secure.

The same goes for your empowered ex. In order for him to miss you, your ex has to go through something painful.

Here’s when your ex could miss you:

• after a failed rebound relationship
• when he’s having trouble in his new relationship
• because of failed exams
• after a breakup
• after a rejection
• death in family
• due to nightmares

There are obviously a million more reasons why your ex would miss you, but the truth is that something bad needs to happen to him first.

Expecting he will wake up one day and miss you is absurd. Theoretically, he could have a nightmare with you in it, but that likely won’t occur unless he’s already regretful, doubtful or miserable.

Breakups happen for a reason and nightmares usually do as well. Anxiety and depression are the two most common reasons why nightmares occur in adults.

If you’re experiencing nightmares or you’re curious about this topic, you can read more about them on WebMD.

How long before my ex misses me?

It’s impossible to say how long it will take before your ex misses you and contacts you. We can, however, say that the 30-day no contact rule is a hoax – a fairy tale.

Expecting a person to miss you in a pre-set amount of days is silly as every person is different. Waiting 30, 45, 60, 90, or 365 days and contacting your ex before he’s ready is ridiculous and detrimental to your health. That’s why you should never reach out to your ex and follow any type of no contact rule other than the indefinite no contact rule.

It’s important to note that dumpers aren’t dumpees. They don’t feel what dumpees do and never will.

Here’s how long it takes dumpers to miss their dumpees and reach out.

For your ex to miss you, the following conditions must be met in his life.

Your ex needs to:

1. Get his hopes up about his life.
2. Process the breakup.
3. Get his hopes destroyed.
4. Become receptive and nostalgic.
5. Experience negative emotions.
6. Look for ways to soothe anxiety

Dumpers that miss their dumpees

Since we’ve previously discussed that dumpers often reach out in no contact, we can also say that certain types of dumpers miss their exes more than others.

It goes without saying that the worst self-esteem the dumper has, the sooner he will “miss his ex” and reach out.

This is true because a person who doesn’t value himself very much usually looks for validation and support in others.

So if your ex has self-esteem issues, low confidence, or is bad at dating others, he’s going to get to the 5th stage of a breakup for the dumper much quicker.

And as we’d mentioned before, you can’t speed up this process as it doesn’t involve you. It solely depends on what your ex is thinking, feeling, and doing with his life so leave him completely alone.

If you don’t, you could unintentionally give him the moral support he needs to deal with his difficulties in life and self-sabotage your chances.

Does your ex miss you as much as you miss him? Has your ex given you any signs that he misses you? Let me know in the comments section below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.