Boyfriend Ditched Me On My Birthday And It Hurts!

If your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday and hurt you very badly, the first thing you should do is talk to your boyfriend and ask him where he went. Don’t interrogate him or accuse him of things, of course, but do ask him some basic questions.

Questions like, “Where were you on my birthday” and “What did you do?”

You don’t have to be this blunt, but your boyfriend’s response (the reason for ditching you and the tone of his voice) should help you determine whether your boyfriend cares about you, cares about himself, or cares about someone else.

If he says that there was an emergency and that he had to leave without notice, I encourage you to do a little digging. See if his story checks out and if he ditched you because he needed to (not wanted to).

If you discover that there really was an emergency, put your birthday celebration on hold for a while and provide sympathy if needed. Be there for your boyfriend and/or his loved ones.

But if he straight-up lies to you and says that he wasn’t feeling well or that he saw a friend, your boyfriend may have actually been somewhere else or with someone else.

He may have been with another girl – maybe with his ex.

In this case, you should try to find out where your boyfriend was or who he was with so that you can ease your worries and get to the bottom of things. You don’t want to keep questioning your self-worth and wondering if he cheated on you or did something just as bad.

Once you politely ask for answers, your boyfriend should be transparent and apologetic about his disappearance. He should willingly tell you where he went, who he was with, and what he was doing.

You shouldn’t even have to ask him to explain himself because if he cares about you, he should feel remorseful enough to apologize on his own.

It’s your special day and he should care about it.

Once he’s told you his reason for ditching you, you need to take appropriate action. You either need to forgive your boyfriend and encourage him to express himself better/treat you better or break up with him.

It’s your decision to make. But whatever you decide, make sure it’s for the best in the long run.

In this post, we’ll talk about what to do if your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday.

My boyfriend ditched me on my birthday

If your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday and doesn’t have a good alibi, you need to understand that your boyfriend doesn’t value you as much as you’d like him to value you.

He cares about himself or the people he’d spent his day with way more because they have a relaxing effect on him and allow him to stay in his comfort zone.

So even if your boyfriend just stayed home and watched tv shows all day, the truth is that he prioritized other things because he deemed them to be more important or less emotionally draining than you.

He perceived spending your birthday with you as something unnecessary, so he chose to spend your special day without you.

This is why you must think about whether staying with a guy like this is what’s best for you. You may think that it is if the guy regularly starves you for recognition and makes you feel insignificant, but that’s just your anxious brain looking for security to latch on to.

The truth is that you deserve much better. You deserve a person who will want to spend your birthday with you—and not someone who will ditch you to go who knows where.

Men may have been able to get away with disrespectful behavior back in the day, but this is no longer the case in modern societies. Today, men and women are equals and strive for balance and harmony.

Well, at least those who are taught from a young age to treat people with respect.

Why did my boyfriend ditch me on my birthday?

If your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday for anything other than a birthday present or some kind of emergency, your boyfriend probably won’t remain your boyfriend for long.

He’ll probably leave you soon because the way he treats you goes hand in hand with the way he sees you and feels about you. In simpler terms, his feelings for you are highly volatile and may completely disappear at the first sign of trouble.

Probably when he feels pressured, smothered, victimized, or tired.

You have to understand that immature/self-centered men tend to misperceive people. They believe that someone else is always at fault/responsible for the way they feel, but in reality, it’s them who have a poor understanding of themselves and others.

The reason I’m telling you this is because your boyfriend felt uneasy on your birthday. He felt that he had to give you more energy than he was capable of giving, so he chose not to give any energy at all.

It’s unlikely, but it’s possible he did this because he wanted to avoid arguments. In that case, his prudence caused more issues than it solved.

The picture below should explain why your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday.

It’d be hard for me to say exactly why your boyfriend ditched you on your birthday because there are hundreds if not thousands of possible reasons why he ditched you.

But I’d like to make things simple for you and say that he didn’t care. At least not enough to “sacrifice” his time and emotions for you. Honestly, a guy who loves you shouldn’t even have to sacrifice anything.

He should be happy and proud to spend quality time with you.

I know that relationships aren’t guys’ forte and that guys have things to do and places to be, but birthdays, anniversaries, and special days are meant for couples to celebrate and appreciate each other.

There are only a few of these days in a year, so it shouldn’t be that hard to try a little harder a few times a year.

Besides, it’s ethically wrong for a person to ditch his partner or break up with her when she’s looking forward to celebrating her existence.

I feel stupid for even pointing this out, but I suppose some people need to educate themselves on how to be more self-aware and kinder to their partners.

They especially need to learn that they aren’t single anymore and that they have a moral obligation to provide respect and security.

He ditched me and he’s sorry

Before making any big decisions, you should always talk to your partner to see if there was some kind of misunderstanding.

These things do happen from time to time—so you don’t want to jump the gun and break up with someone who’s always been good to you. You first want to learn what kind of agreement the guy thought he had with you.

To confirm if there was some kind of misunderstanding, ask for clarity and listen to your boyfriend’s side of the story. If he says he didn’t mean to ditch you because he thought you were going to be busy on your birthday or something along those lines, he could be telling the truth.

He could genuinely be sorry for ditching you and may even be eager to make it up to you.

My advice is to listen to what he has to say and make up your mind after.

He ditched me on my birthday to see someone else

I’ve heard stories where guys ditched their girlfriends to see their ex-girlfriends. Needless to say, such guys don’t deserve their girlfriends’ love and care.

All they deserve is a one-way ticket out of the relationship.

It sucks, but the best advice I can give you if your boyfriend ditched you to see his ex is to find someone better. Find a person who doesn’t hide things from you and ditch you on your birthday.

Although people can change and grow within, guys who do things like this rarely do. They’re usually too stubborn to admit that their behavior is disrespectful and that they need to improve themselves.

Should you give a guy who left you alone on your birthday another chance?

If my girlfriend ditched me on my birthday to be somewhere else, I wouldn’t give her another chance. I wouldn’t want to because I consider a person who ditches me on a date, birthday, or special occasion extremely rude.

I consider her disrespectful and unworthy of my emotional investment.

I actually broke up with a girl once because she ditched me to talk to some other guy. She was sorry afterward but it wasn’t the first time she behaved that way.

Long story short, we were at a public bonfire event in her town—and it was supposed to be just the two of us. We got a couple of drinks, watched the fire, talked, and everything seemed fine.

But then she saw her co-worker (a person she sees every day) and told me she’d be right back.

10 minutes go by and she’s not back.

20 minutes go by and she’s still talking to him.

30 minutes, and still nothing.

I didn’t mind my own company because I enjoy being by myself. But I was beginning to think that she forgot about me. I drove to her town to spend the evening with her—and she didn’t seem to care very much about that.

It was at that point that I decided that she doesn’t care that I’m waiting all by myself. If she cared about me and respected me, she would have shown it. And if she had something really important to discuss with the guy she ditched me for, she could have come back, apologized, and asked for more time.

But, she didn’t.

There were a few other things that bothered me about her—and I’m not going to talk about them today, but her absence essentially allowed my mind to roam freely.

It helped me remember those negative traits of hers and created self-protective negative emotions.

I believe she finally showed up 50 minutes later and said something like, “Did it take me long?” That’s when I told her that it did and that I’d like to go back to her place to collect my car keys.

The moral of this story is that waiting for people is not an issue. Anyone can wait—and most people do. The issue is that some people are inconsiderate of others’ time, effort, and feelings and that they think they can do what they want.

Such people have a “me mentality” and are difficult to work with in a romantic relationship.

What about you? Did your partner ever ditch you on your birthday or on any other occasion? How did you react? I’d like to hear what you have to say, so comment below.

And also, if you’re looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance, click here to see our coaching plans.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.