I’m Scared My Ex Will Find Someone Else

Don’t be scared that your ex will find someone else during no contact.

I know it hurts when you imagine your ex dating someone else soon after the breakup, but you need to know that your ex will likely date the first person who shows an interest in your ex.

This is especially true if your ex has just come out of a long-term relationship with you and appears extremely angry at you despite him or her dumping you.

Please understand that mean ex-partner behavior is completely “normal” as most self-unaware people prefer to point fingers instead of thinking twice about their emotions and actions.

Such dumpers blame other people for feeling the way they do and accuse them of disrespect and annoying behavior.

If that’s what’s happening to you, you can tell your ex is over you—as your ex would likely still care about his or her image if your ex wanted to impress you.

So if you’re afraid your ex will find someone new and date that person, this article will provide you with some information and help you ease your anxiety.

I’m scared my ex will find someone else

If you’re scared your ex will date someone else and forget about you, you need to remind yourself that your ex likely won’t realize your worth without exploring his or her options first.

Your ex must first get back on the dating field, date a few people and compare them to you. And if he or she likes them, your ex will probably become their boyfriend or girlfriend and go through the 6 stages of a rebound relationship with them.

That’s why you shouldn’t try to stop your ex from moving on and dating someone new.

As a free person, your ex has the right to do what he or she wishes.

This includes drinking and partying, going out a lot, meeting new people, and even dating.

Your ex can do all these crazy things and more—and as much as it sucks you can’t do anything to stop it.

Just how your ex or anyone else for that matter can’t control your life, you can’t control your ex’s. If you try to, you will likely get blocked the moment you do.

To avoid this, let your ex date someone new while you focus inwardly and do your best not to break no contact.

By doing so, you will find yourself regaining your personal power and control and might even realize that your ex isn’t worth your anxiety.

So start going through the 5 stages of no contact for the dumpee and deal with your grieving process so that you can find your happiness within yourself again.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Why shouldn’t you be afraid if your ex finds someone else?

You shouldn’t be scared of your ex’s new partner. Especially not when your own health is at risk.

Always remember that nobody in this world has the right to hurt you regardless of what their title, status, or relationship with you is.

They can’t do it no matter how much you owe them for their services, money, or kindness.

The past is in the past, and repaying people with your pain and suffering is not an option.

So don’t give anyone you know or don’t know the power to have complete control over your happiness.

Don’t give it to that person no matter how close you used to be with him or her or how much he or she has done for you in the past.

People do things for each other out of selfless kindness and care.

And if they ever stop feeling positively toward you, you need to understand that something has changed within them. Their loyalty, respect, dedication, gratitude, something—anything has changed, and it’s not your job to find out why and how.

As a human being with high moral values, you’re responsible to apologize for your mistakes empathically only once.

As for your ex’s negative emotions toward you, it’s the last of your concerns.

You have your own problems to worry about while your ex has his or hers.

Don’t try to make your ex’s problems your own or give your ex-partner your problems.

If you do, chances are that he or she won’t share his or her difficulties with you or care enough about yours.

So keep these things separate as you’re no longer a couple who shares the weight of each other’s emotions.

Don’t worry, stress or obsess!

Do your best to accept your ex’s change of heart as something that happened for a reason. It was meant to happen and now that it did, worrying about it is the last thing that will help you deal with the breakup.

If anything, it will only make things worse!

Stress and anxiety will likely take years away from your life in the long run. So really think twice about how much of your healthy body and mind you’re willing to sacrifice for somebody who cares so little.

Whether you agree or not, the truth is that your ex isn’t one bit worried about who you’re going to date.

And you shouldn’t be either.

He or she is likely looking forward to dating someone new right away even if your ex told you that he or she “just wants to be single for a while.”

Very, very few dumpers break up and go “fix themselves” immediately after the breakup.

What they instead do is go out a lot and get involved with someone new relatively quickly.

That’s how you can be certain your ex broke up with you because he or she associated negative feelings with you.

Or perhaps your ex was genuinely depressed and broke up with you when he or she was unhappy. But that still doesn’t change the fact that your ex developed negative beliefs about you.

Your ex was probably unhappy with himself or herself first and became even more unhappy with you around.

So at the very least, acknowledge your ex’s decision for separation to be at least 50% your ex’s fault.

I can’t stop thinking about my ex’s new partner

It hurts when your ex starts dating someone new quickly after the breakup.

It’s completely disrespectful and unfair to you as a dumpee.

As a result of such treachery, you may think that your relationship never mattered to your ex and that he or she was using you.

But that’s not true.

Your ex most likely loved you when things were working out for him or her. But the moment your ex no longer felt the same way about you, he or she left you behind.

Dumpers are people too

Since your ex detached from you over a long period of time, your ex could quickly monkey-branch onto the next person and temporarily forget about you.

It didn’t even hurt your ex because your ex never stopped feeling loved.

And I wish we could say the same about you.

Your ex’s immoral behavior can quickly make you obsess over your ex’s new partner and make it incredibly painful for you for several months.

But the moment you realize that your ex is dating someone else due to the lack of security and emotional strength, everything will make sense to you. You will instantly understand that your ex is not who you think he or she is.

You may have had your ex figured out since you’ve spent x number of years together, but your ex probably never showed you his or her true weaknesses.

People in general hate showing us their vulnerabilities because they think it will make us lose respect for them.

It comes across as cowardly and shows how little respect they have for themselves, let alone us.

Because they don’t respect themselves enough, they coincidentally cause us unease, fear, and anxiety and make us doubt our own worth.

Needless to say, they are not the kind of people we want to spend our lives with.

They are the people we probably need to stay away from as they possess the power to hurt us with their lack of care.

Such people can use our caring and sympathy against us and pulverize us in a brutal, dishonest way.

That’s why we need to find people who have similar levels of wisdom, emotional intelligence, and who are on the same wavelength as us.

What can I do if I’m afraid my ex will meet someone else

Whenever you’re dealing with something or someone you care about, you will naturally worry.

That’s why I’d like you to memorize one of the best tips I can possibly give you and make your ordeal easier for yourself. It truly helped me so I hope it helps you as well.

If you’re afraid your ex will meet someone else, ask yourself the following questions.

1. What’s the worst that can happen? Will my existence cease to exist? How can it possibly affect my relationship with myself now and in the future?
2. Will worrying about my ex dating someone else solve anything? Are my ex’s deeds even in my control?
3. How are my ex’s actions affecting me? Am I sacrificing my own health for my ex’s happiness?

These questions have helped me battle my stress not just after my breakup—but in life in general. So write them down and communicate with yourself as silly as that sounds.

I’d rather you think that asking yourself questions is ridiculous than to suffer in uncontrollable pain and not do anything about it.

So get serious and do it for your own well-being.

If you’re scared of your ex dating, avoid finding out!

First of all, crying, begging, and complaining to your ex that he or she is being disrespectful is actually disrespectful.

Your ex can’t and won’t tolerate your depressing behavior because your ex is in no mindset to talk to you, let alone argue with you.

He or she will probably dismiss you and ignore you when you try to reason with him or her.

So instead of finding out how much it hurts when your ex ignores you and shuts you out for the second time, protect your self-esteem.

Show your ex that you’re confident enough to respect yourself as well as him or her and go indefinite no contact immediately.

In doing so, you will probably avoid finding out about your ex dating someone else and will instead stay focused fully on yourself.

You will heal at a healthy rate while your ex processes the breakup at his or her rate as well.

Remember that you should never stop your healing process and interrupt your ex’s process of negative emotions.

You should instead do quite the opposite.

Encourage your recovery and allow your ex the freedom that he or she so badly craves.

Only then will both of you meet the requirements to be happy on your own.

You won’t always care

If you’re afraid your ex will meet someone else during no contact, know that your fear will eventually wane.

It will disappear completely whether you like it or not.

How much you care depends on:

• the time since the breakup
• how serious you are about your no contact

The longer you stay away from your ex, the less you will care. And that’s exactly what the power of no contact is all about.

It helps you get through the 3 painful stages of no contact much quicker than it otherwise would.

So give yourself the kind of self-love that you deserve and focus on your internal happiness.

Healing takes time

Think of your breakup pain as a process every dumpee has to go through and remember that the time it takes to get over your ex really depends on what you put your attention on.

If it’s on your ex and you keep obsessing over him or her, you’re probably looking at at least a year of time to get over him or her.

On the other hand, if you focus on yourself and your healing, it will probably take you around 8 months to get over your ex.

Maybe even less if you set high goals and strive towards personal improvement.

But nonetheless, no matter what you do or don’t do after the breakup, the fear of your ex seeing someone new is not permanent.

Realistically speaking, even if you don’t do anything in your free time, your brain will let go of your ex and replace him or her with more recent memories.

It will just take a lot longer than if you get really busy and focus on getting over your ex.

Stay strong!

Are you scared your ex will find someone else during no contact? Post a comment below this article.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.