Girlfriend Crying After A Breakup

Don’t get confused by your dumper girlfriend’s post-breakup crying. If she’s crying, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s regretful and wants you back. It most likely means that she’s in pain because she feels guilty for leaving and hurting you. She respects you as her ex and cares about you (isn’t a bad person), so she wishes she didn’t have to complicate your life the way she did.

If she could avoid hurting you and hindering your life, she’d do it in a heartbeat. But because she couldn’t and wanted to prioritize her emotions and happiness, she broke up with you and chose to stay broken up. The breakup provided her with a sense of freedom and enabled her to enjoy life on her terms.

The main reason she’s crying is because she doesn’t want to be the bad person who is solely responsible for the breakup. She wants to believe that she had no choice but to leave and that she hasn’t ruined your life as much as her instincts tell her she did.

Therefore, her tears are an indication of an internal battle. She’s fighting her guilty conscience and trying to ease her pain. The purpose of crying is self-soothing. People cry to make themselves feel better rather than to go back on their choices and be with the person they abandoned.

If your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend had an epiphany and rediscovered her love for you, she’d have taken a more active approach. She’d have communicated her feelings strongly and done everything in her power to reconcile and feel secure. She wouldn’t just cry and do nothing.

Regretful exes don’t waste their time and wait for their ex to move on (with someone else). They take action and do their best to fix what they broke before it’s too late. If they merely cry, apologize, or call themselves stupid, they do that because they have a problem with themselves. Either they feel guilty, scared, or uncertain or they’re depressed and want their ex to help them love themselves.

Whatever the case may be with your girlfriend, tears alone don’t show that she regrets dumping you and wishes she could get another chance with you. If she cries during the breakup or shortly after, it’s probably related to her conscience.

But if she cries months after the breakup, then she probably isn’t happy with the things that are happening to her. It could be that he’s going through tough times and that she still considers you a reliable friend to vent to and rely on.

Some dumpers cry to their dumpee after the breakup when something bad happens to them.

Something like:

• a loss of a friend or family member
• failing an exam
• experiencing a rejection or a breakup
• struggling to pay bills
• feeling unaccomplished
• lacking self-confidence
• or when they experience something unpredictable and stressful and need to open up to someone

Their ex is usually the first person they run to. He or she used to be close to them and reliable throughout the relationship, so they contact their ex and try to get what they need from their ex. If they need support, they ask for support. And if they need to vent, they vent. They do what they need to feel calm and carry on with their life without any problems or stressors.

Dumpers can be extremely selfish after the breakup. They may be in pain and tears, but so is their abandoned ex. Their ex experienced a heart-shattering separation and as a result, looks for support and hope in the things their ex says and does. If their ex contacts them and talks about random things, they feel confused and anxious.

And if their ex expresses difficult emotions, they feel like their ex isn’t happy and that their ex may want them back if they play their cards right.

Either way, they feel hopeful about their ex coming back and investing in them, so they let their ex string them along.

If your ex-girlfriend is crying after a breakup, you must learn why she’s crying. Is it because she feels bad for leaving and wants forgiveness or is it because something unexpected and difficult happened to her that shocked her? You need to understand her reasons for crying so that you don’t get your hopes up before she wants you back, overanalyze her words and actions, and put your life on hold for her.

As long as she’s your ex, she’s not worth setting your goals and happiness aside for. She must be given space and shown that you won’t chase her and try to change her mind.

Remember that you’re a dumpee and that you can’t wait for someone who isn’t waiting for you. It doesn’t matter if she got brainwashed by friends or family into thinking poorly of you. Regardless of why the breakup happened, your ex made her decision. She decided to break her commitment and look for better opportunities elsewhere.

Whether she finds better or different opportunities outside of the relationship with you doesn’t matter. Your happiness has nothing to do with hers anymore. If you get your hopes up after seeing her cry, you could get friend-zoned and strung along for months or years. You could dedicate your life to helping your ex instead of helping yourself and those who deserve you.

Lack of self-focus and bad priorities in life could keep you obsessed with your ex and obstruct your path to happiness and independence.

So as tempting as it may be, try not to think that your ex-girlfriend realized your worth and wants you back. It’s better for your health and well-being to assume that she’s having a hard time dealing with guilt or some other emotion or problem. She likely wants your forgiveness, validation, or support rather than your love and commitment.

In this post, we discuss why your girlfriend is crying after the breakup and how you should handle it whether you want your ex back or not. We’ll also talk about what you should do if your dumpee ex is crying.

Why is my girlfriend crying after breaking up?

Exes cry for various reasons. During the breakup and shortly after (for a few days after the breakup), they tend to cry because they feel bad for hurting their ex and discarding months or years of commitment and investment. They know they’re terminating the relationship because of their own problems and feelings and that their and their ex’s life will never be the same again.

Their decision to leave will have consequences they’ll have to accept and learn to live with. They understand it may be challenging to live with them, so they get sad, nostalgic, and scared and engage in self-soothing behavior.

Typical self-soothing post-breakup behavior involves:

• breadcrumbing
• apologizing
• offering friendship
• asking for help
• crying, hugging, kissing, or even sleeping with the dumpee

Dumpers say and do all kinds of things to feel better after the breakup. Those who feel guilty interact with their ex whereas those who don’t avoid their ex like the plague.

They:

• drink and party
• spread rumors and talk badly about their ex
• delete their ex from social media
• go on vacations
• go on Tinder
• date other people
• and appear elated and relieved

They blame their ex for their problems and unhappiness and refuse to reflect on the breakup. They reflect, look for solutions, and perhaps even improve months or years later when they face problems and realize they’re not as important as they thought they were. That’s when they question their decisions and feelings and consider returning to their ex for validation and security.

I suppose crying isn’t a bad sign because it shows that your ex is capable of reflection and sympathy. It shows she doesn’t feel victimized like some dumpers do and that she doesn’t see the need to punish you and hurt you. She’s already dissatisfied with the way she broke the bad news to you or the fact that she wounded you.

An ex who cries after directly or indirectly inflicting pain has decent moral principles and values even though she may not always follow them. She respects you as a person and understands that you’re not better than her, nor better off than her. You’re both equals who are starting from scratch.

Sure, she doesn’t have to deal with separation anxiety and depression (most dumpers don’t), but at least she doesn’t show off online and pretend how happy she is since she let go of you.

So if your girlfriend is crying after the breakup and you’re trying to learn what that means, know that it most likely has something to do with her conscience and her way of processing guilt, shame, or nostalgia. Your girlfriend regrets causing you pain (not breaking up with you) and is trying to accept her decisions and move on with a clear conscience.

To do that, she needs to see that you don’t despise her, that you forgive her, or that she can forgive herself.

Mind you, she doesn’t need your forgiveness to leave the past behind and enjoy her life. If you give her a hard time, she’ll get hurt and soon change her opinion of you. When that happens, she’ll laser-focus on your shortcomings and hold you responsible for her suffering. That’s when she’ll switch on you and stop sympathizing with you.

So don’t guilt-trip her and expect her to come running back. She may be crying, but that doesn’t mean she’ll let you accuse her of being a bad partner. If you hurt her and try to force her to come back. she’ll stop crying and get angry for making her post-breakup life difficult.

Chances are she’ll block you.

Having said that, here’s why your ex-girlfriend is crying after the breakup.

What should I do if my girlfriend is crying after the breakup?

First of all, if your girlfriend is crying after the breakup, she’s no longer your girlfriend. She’s your ex-girlfriend who should understand how you feel and put your feelings before hers. If she doesn’t prioritize your feelings, cries hysterically, and hogs the spotlight, she could prevent you from talking about difficult (but important) subjects and emotions and deny you closure.

Her crying could make you feel like you can’t express yourself properly (because your ex is suffering) and get the closure you need.

If she cries shortly after the breakup, you might get emotional too and cry as well. Crying could help you ease your anxiety and make you think the breakup had nothing to do with you. If you think your ex left because of stress and depression rather than because your ex associated negative thoughts and feelings with you, you could get your hopes up and wait for your ex to deal with her problems.

In other words, you could think your ex will come back to you when she stops feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed.

Although some dumpers come back after feeling better, most dumpers don’t. Happiness doesn’t make them return because they think they’re happier than they were when they were with their ex. They tend to return if they fail to find happiness and internal peace.

What if my dumpee girlfriend cries after the breakup?

If the person you left is crying after the breakup, you have a moral responsibility to help her. Explain why you left, answer her questions (hundreds of times if necessary), and comfort her. She needs to see that you respect her and care about her even if you don’t love her.

It may not fulfill her romantic needs, but at least she’ll feel cared for.

As a dumper, you could find it incredibly difficult to embrace her emotions and help her emotionally, but you need to understand that it’s harder for her to deal with the breakup than it is for you to empathize and support her. She has separation anxiety and various issues to deal with on top of rejection. Don’t make her healing more difficult by ignoring her and disrespecting her.

She won’t need your care forever. If you help her when she’s sad and anxious, she’ll soon recover and see that she has to distance herself from you and find her own strength. The better you support her emotionally when she’s down, the quicker she’ll recover, stop crying, and leave you alone.

Try not to get overwhelmed by her tears. I know it can be hard to continue to interact with her and support her after the breakup. You probably expected to be free and focus on yourself after the breakup. But if you want to do the right thing, you must be there for her when she needs you and stay away from her when she doesn’t.

That’s how she’ll detach and learn to rely on herself and others for healing.

Is your girlfriend crying after the breakup and making you wonder what it could mean? What do you think it means? Comment below and let us know.

And if you wish to talk to us directly about your ex’s tears or any behavior you’d like to understand better, visit our coaching page to get in touch.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.