Did your ex post a picture on Instagram and you’re wondering if you should like it? If you’re in a dilemma about it, know that it’s because you want to show you have nothing against your ex and that you like and support what he or she has posted.
You want to show that you selflessly care about your ex even though you’re trying to get closer to your ex and get validated by your ex. Your actions, therefore, have a secret agenda. They hope to obtain some sort of response that would make your ex reach out and communicate with you as before.
Before you like your ex’s picture, you need to understand that liking, commenting, and following on Instagram and other social media platforms all count as a breach of no contact. They may be minor breaches of the no contact rules, but they nonetheless interact with your ex and force your ex to think and feel whatever your ex wants to.
If your ex hasn’t improved his perception of you yet, your ex will likely feel strange and not want you to follow up with texts and calls. That’s because every interaction with you (direct or indirect) will remind your ex that you’re still around and that you won’t go down without a fight. You’ll probably have to be shown the door and pushed through it as well, which will reduce your ex’s interest in you and make it less likely for your ex to converse with you.
Your ex probably won’t reach out to tell you to stop liking his or her pictures, but that doesn’t mean that your ex is okay with it. Your ex will probably prefer not to communicate over telling you to stop doing something.
Sure, not all dumpers dislike their ex liking their pictures, but most dumpers certainly don’t like it. This is especially true if they’re dating someone else because in that case, they have to explain to their new partner why their ex is still interacting with them.
I know that liking pictures and comments seems like a harmless gesture, but it can be quite risky considering that the dumper isn’t talking to you and may be dating someone else already. Imagine how trapped you would feel if your (pesky) ex messaged you when you just broke up with him/her and feel relieved, possibly infatuated with someone else.
You wouldn’t want your ex breathing down your neck either.
So what do you do if your ex posts a picture on Instagram?
You don’t do anything that would show you acknowledge and like your ex’s picture. You ignore it and make sure to mute or unfollow your ex so that you don’t analyze your ex’s future posts. Your ex must have all the space in the world to breathe. And you can give your ex that space by starting no contact and staying in it until you’ve healed or until your ex has reached out.
No contact is indefinite which means that any interactions with your ex before your ex has processed the breakup will smother and annoy your ex. It’s much safer for you to focus on healing and let your ex come to you.
Your ex will do that when he or she is ready and wants to. You don’t need to keep liking your ex’s pictures to let your ex know you’re still a viable backup option. Your ex needn’t know that. He or she needs to see that you’re gone so that your ex can wonder what you’re doing, how you feel about him/her, and regain respect for you as quickly as possible.
So if you’re trying to figure out if you should like your ex’s picture on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or anywhere online, I strongly suggest not to do it. Instead of liking it, remind yourself that doing so won’t make things better and that it will likely just make your ex feel worse if your ex is still in the first two stages of a breakup for the dumper.
Today’s article will talk about whether you should like your ex’s picture on Instagram.
Should I like my ex’s picture on Instagram?
The quick answer is no.
You shouldn’t like your ex’s picture on Instagram whether your ex:
- likes your pictures (breadcrumbs you)
- posts a picture with you in it
- texts you from time to time
- broke up with you months ago
- seems like he or she is inviting you to like and comment on the picture
The time after the breakup isn’t meant for you to like your ex’s pictures and posts. Doing so will make you stay glued to your ex and dependent on positive responses. You must instead respect your ex’s need for space and stay away from your ex both physically and online.
Space is something your ex needs otherwise you could see a very unhappy ex. You could see your ex react in extremely impulsive ways that hurt you and crush your reconciliation hope faster than you’re emotionally capable of losing it.
Even if your ex doesn’t need space, you still shouldn’t reach out to your ex because your ex asked for this and doesn’t deserve friendship soon after the breakup. Your ex deserves nothing but politeness and respect. Especially when you run into your ex.
So don’t like anything your ex posts on Instagram. Don’t like pictures, videos, quotes, memes, updates, or anything your ex posts for his or her followers. Your ex will find you more attractive if you focus entirely on yourself and remain mysterious for as long as possible.
That’s because mystery creates curiosity and makes your ex wonder what you think and feel about him or her. Of course, your ex won’t get very curious if he or she is immature and resentful, but your ex might start thinking about you more later once your ex has dealt with personal issues and negative breakup emotions.
If you still have feelings for your ex and don’t want to destroy your chances of getting back with your ex in the future, you should probably focus on yourself and your loved ones rather than your ex. That way, you won’t scare your ex off and delay the time it takes for your ex to contact you and engage in conversation with you.
With that said, here’s why you shouldn’t like your ex’s picture on Instagram.
There are no benefits to liking your ex’s Instagram pictures and statuses. Not a single one. It just makes it easier for your ex to breadcrumb you and confuse you, which is the opposite of what you want. I presume you want to heal and also increase the odds of your ex coming back.
And you can do that by avoiding breakup mistakes and investing in yourself. Always remember that your ex needs to stop thinking or fearing that you’ll try to get back together. As long as your ex thinks there’s even a small chance that you’ll back him or her into a corner, your ex won’t redevelop feelings for you nor want you back as a friend.
Your ex will avoid you like the plague.
That means you must be mindful of your ex’s decision to not communicate and like other people’s pictures instead. That’s how you can show that you’re moving on and letting go of someone who doesn’t love you.
Your job as a dumpee isn’t to get closer to your ex, but quite the opposite, actually. You must stay away from your ex so that your ex can realize the things he or she is supposed to realize. Lessons are learned from experience and failure. If your ex doesn’t have enough space to explore the world, your ex won’t miss you and wonder about you when your ex feels sad, bored, anxious, or lonely.
Should I ever like my ex’s pictures on Instagram?
You can like your ex’s pictures under 3 different conditions.
- You’re over your ex and don’t care what your ex thinks of you.
- You’re certain your ex still respects you and appreciates your likes
- And you’re certain your ex and his/her new partner are okay with you liking their pictures (it’s no longer just about your ex).
Whether you should engage with your ex on social media depends on your and your ex’s emotional states, your ex’s new partner’s consent, and what you want from your ex. If you want friendship and your ex wants the same, by all means like your ex’s posts and comment on them, too. That’s what friends do, right?
But if someone (anyone) is not ready or okay with you dangling on, let go of your ex immediately. Don’t view and like your ex’s pictures or you could make things difficult for all parties involved.
You must remember your ex is no longer someone you can freely interact with. Your ex stopped being that person when he or she broke up with you, so you must now work on reducing your attachment to your ex and find better people to spend time with. They will be your mental escape and help you process your lingering feelings for your ex.
It might take a while, but if you stay in control of your emotions and remain determined to leave your ex alone, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t detach from your ex and attach to more available people.
What if my ex likes my picture? Is it okay to like my ex’s picture back?
Technically, liking your ex’s picture back won’t annoy your ex, but it will give your ex the green light to flood you with meaningless messages, which will give you false hope. False hope will then keep you waiting for your ex to make a move and delay your healing process.
So even though liking your ex’s picture or pictures won’t cause any harm to your ex, there’s no point in doing something that makes you obsessed with your ex. Your goal should be to detach, not to keep watching your ex’s every move.
You’ll realize that when you pull away and stop watching what your ex does that you feel much better as you have less hope and encounter fewer emotional setbacks.
Initially, dumpees are looking for hope because hope keeps them from breaking down. But as they detach and regain strength and self-esteem, they realize that they don’t need hope anymore and that they can forgive and forget their ex. They simply don’t need their ex back because they enjoy their life again.
Thanks for reading through the post. I hope you enjoyed it. Let us know in the comments below what you think about liking the dumper’s picture on Instagram and other social platforms.
And finally, I’d like to announce the two winners of this week’s coaching. They were randomly selected live on Discord earlier today. Congrats to Nour and Martine. I’ve messaged you on the Ko-fi site. Feel free to respond there or send me an email. You can find my email on the MOS coaching page.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
Hi Zan I need your help I’ve done No Contact to a T broke up respectfully accepted then went No Contact ..but ex has started liking my posts and my stories so after 2 weeks after she liked a pxiture of my new dog I liked a pic of her new cat ..have I destroyed all chances ????
Hi John.
You haven’t destroyed anything. You merely liked a picture of hers. Make sure to unfollow her and not interact with her from now on.
Kind regards,
Zan
I never liked his pics after NC plus it’s not my job as you said in your reply :))
Always good new articles
Hi Linda.
It’s best to leave the dumper alone in every way possible. This includes social media.
Best,
Zan
Hi Zan,
Would you be able to elaborate on “it will likely just make your ex feel worse if your ex is still in the first two stages of a breakup for the dumper”? This statement could be of extremely high interest to dumpees, especially fresh ones, who can choose to interpret it favorably.
Does this mean that, if the dumper has entered the third stage and the dumpee has waited long enough for this stage, the dumpee can then initiate some kind of contact without so much fear of pushing the dumper away or smothering him?
This seems to support the the idea proposed by other coaches that, beyond a certain stage in no contact, it is safer for the dumpee to give it a try and there is “not much to lose”. This is because the dumper is unlikely to be in a persistently sensitive or annoyed state beyond the second dumper stage.
Thanks,
CA
Hi AC.
I’d love to elaborate on the above-mentioned statement. If your ex still desires space, liking the picture will be a disaster as she’ll feel that you’re still around and watch everything she does. But if you like her picture when she feels neutral about you, she probably won’t feel trapped. Not unless she became resentful and completely destroyed her perception of you. It’s hard to know what stage she’s in. That’s why it’s best not to engage with her and focus on healing instead.
So no, the dumpee shouldn’t initiate contact. It’s not his job, nor is it within his power to change the dumper’s feelings and decisions. It is indeed safer to reach out later because you won’t get super devastated, but you’ll still feel rejected as your ex broke your heart and affected your self-esteem. Reaching out won’t change anything, AC.
Sincerely,
Zan