How Long Do Affairs Last After They Are Discovered?

Generally speaking, affairs can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. Their longevity usually depends on how fulfilling they are, how good cheaters are at hiding them, and how observant cheaters’ partners are.

If cheaters’ partners are very observant and they care about their partners very much, they tend to detect changes in their partners’ behavior, presence, and looks—and as a result, suspect that something significant has changed.

Something that has a high probability of hurting them and making their lives miserable.

This is why cheaters’ partners often anxiously investigate their partners’ unusual behavior without their partner’s awareness and oftentimes within weeks or months, discover that their partners are having an affair.

If they don’t find anything, however (let’s say because they work late every day), then affairs can last for a very long time. They can go on for years – until cheaters become sloppy or tired of hiding their affairs and decide to commit to the person who makes them the happiest.

We should mention that some cheaters feel guilty for betraying their partners and causing damage to their family and others don’t seem to care very much. Whether they care or not essentially comes down to their moral values.

The more they care about their improper behavior and their partner’s well-being, the sooner they stop living double lives and confess their wrongdoings.

However, when affairs are discovered the hard way (cheaters’ partners finding out on their own), one of two things typically occur:

• Cheaters either apologize sincerely and ask for another chance.
• Or they get angry with their partners for exposing their secret and decide to focus fully on their affairs.

More often than not, people who are having an affair feel stronger emotions for their affair than they do for their partner, so they take a leap to their affair as soon as they get caught having an affair.

They do this because they have strong beliefs that their partner is responsible for their affair and that they deserve to be happy with someone who loves them and desires them.

According to Wikipedia, an affair can be sexual, romantic, or passionate and can occur physically in person or online.

The question we’ll be trying to answer in this post is “How long do affairs last after they are discovered.”

How long do affairs last after they are discovered?

How long affairs last after they are discovered depends on the cheaters’ intentions. If their plan is to feel emotionally and sexually fulfilled by someone new, affairs can last a very long time.

They can go on for months and after 6 months, turn into an ordinary relationship.

This is because 6 months or so into an affair, affair couples get familiarized with each other intimately and subconsciously determine if their affair is worth pursuing or not.

If they discern that it is worth pursuing, affair couples tend to fall deeper in love with each other and stay in love just like ordinary couples who get through the infatuation phase.

Stages of a new relationship are not any different for cheaters than they are for ordinary relationships.

The only difference between affairs and other relationships is that affairs start on cheating terms.

And the terms on which relationships start, tend not to matter very much because many men and women in love just don’t care how they got together with their partner as long as they’re emotionally and sexually content.

If at any point during the affair relationship couples realize that they aren’t working out, though, the above-mentioned 6-month mark could be the time when such couples decide that they aren’t a good match and go separate ways.

The 6-month mark is, of course, not some mysterious time for affairs to end. It’s just a time when people stop feeling infatuated with each other and start encountering personality incompatibilities and various issues.

It’s a time when couples usually make it or break it.

The reason affairs fail is, therefore, very straightforward. They fail because people rush into them and get emotionally and sexually involved with someone before they learn how that person handles stressors, difficulties, and disagreements.

Once they find out (usually the hard way), they normally start to doubt their affair, and as a consequence, race through the remaining stages of a rebound relationship.

Why do some affairs last for years and others fail so quickly?

Some affairs last for years because some cheaters develop romantic feelings for their affairs. The trouble they go through to be in a relationship with their affair essentially strengthens both parties’ feelings and brings them closer.

It makes them appreciate each other because they become addicted to constant highs and lows and become partners in crime who go through a challenging experience together.

But this doesn’t mean that affair relationships are easy to manage. They usually aren’t because people in affairs tend to have:

• underdeveloped qualities and poor values
• personal issues from the past that they ignored/refused to work on
• new issues that they failed to foresee or acknowledge before they got into an affair
• feelings of guilt and shame

As for the short-term affairs that last only a few weeks, they’re a lot different from long-term affairs. They lack the emotional attachment factor, so they exist mainly for entertainment and sexual purposes.

They also remain a secret.

Do affairs continue after discovery?

Some affairs continue after they are discovered and others end on the spot. Again, this really depends on whether the cheater has developed feelings for his or her affair.

If there are romantic/passionate feelings involved, the affair usually continues to exist and grow stronger despite its discovery. This is because the cheater has established a bond with the affair person (and unknowingly) wishes to transform his or her affair into the primary relationship.

The cheater may not admit this (especially if the affair is new and strictly occurring on an emotional – non-sexual level), but the affair makes the cheater feel happier than his/her long-term relationship.

The affair is new and interesting and the long-term relationship is not, which is why the cheater oftentimes secretly keeps talking to his/her affair after the discovery and continues to spend time together.

As a result of frequent communication, the cheater stays emotionally connected to his/her affair and over time, becomes even more dependent on the affair for love and recognition.

Do long-term affairs mean love?

Long-term affairs are not just affairs.

They are relationships that are based on love and appreciation.

I know this may be hard to hear if your partner is having an affair, but the truth is that long-term affairs can work out. In fact, their chances of success are just as high as any ordinary relationship (which is around 60%).

40% of all couples break up or end up divorce.

This means that you shouldn’t deceive yourself and try to convince yourself that long-term affairs are meaningless rebounds. They are not rebounds because rebound relationships don’t last very long.

Certainly not much longer than half a year.

So try your hardest to let go of any remaining reconciliation hope and focus on friends, activities, and things that you can control. By doing so, you will stop wondering whether long-term affairs mean love and if exes come back when affairs end.

How do long-term affairs end?

Long-term affars end like most relationships.

Due to misunderstandings, incompatibilities, and a lack of personal development, affairs tend to end with one final disagreement.

Someone (usually the more detached person) gets tired of arguing, disagreeing, or investing in the relationship, develops negative associations for his/her affair, and abandons the relationship in order to heal from its negativity.

This happens because the person with less patience and understanding starts thinking of his/her affair partner in a negative light and looks for reasons why a relationship is not good enough.

Some affairs also end peacefully and amicably. But this is usually the case where both detached parties are emotionally mature and want the best for each other.

What happens when affairs end?

When affairs end, ex-affair couples usually cease all communication. They enter a period of no contact and stay away from each other to process the separation.

If during their time away from each other, they discern that their partners before their affairs were good for them, they oftentimes contact those people and breadcrumb them.

They tell them they miss them or think about them—and could even apologize for hurting them.

If they’re extremely hurt, lonely, depressed, or nostalgic, they could also consider patching their wounds by getting back with them.

This, of course, depends on whether their ex-partners can help them with their problems and if they’re worth another try.

If they are worth another try, both parties must be willing to forgive each other and do their best to correct their shortcomings so that they can get over the affair and start anew with no hard feelings.

But before you get your hopes up, it’s important for you to understand that many exes don’t come back after an affair. They have a difficult time disassociating negativity from other people, so they tend to run away from problems. hold grudges, and avoid confrontations.

Do you know anyone who had an affair? How long did his/her affair last? Let us know by commenting below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.