Is My Ex Trying To Get My Attention On Social Media?

Some young and immature dumpers try to get their exes’ attention on social media by posting things that make their exes jealous and envious. They do this to convey to them that they don’t care about them and that they’re finally happy (even though their actions prove otherwise).

The truth though is that immature dumpers who cause pain to exes actually enjoy inflicting pain. They love it because the thought of possessing the strength to hurt their ex empowers them and reassures them that they’re in control of their ex’s life.

Such immature and emotionally-driven dumpers seek control and power over their ex because they lack self-awareness and good moral values. Because of this, they tend to react to issues that life throws at them instead of dealing with them in an ethical manner.

Everything we’ve discussed up to this point applies to angry, vengeful, and extremely emotional dumpers who feel wronged and mistreated by their ex.

Self-aware dumpers who have their emotions in check, on the other hand, don’t seek balance and control. They understand why the breakup occurred and usually possess more respect for their ex as a result.

That’s why they normally experience a variety of mixed (positive and negative) emotions after the breakup.

The most common emotions dumpers with the ability to see things from their ex-partner’s point of view experience are guilt, sadness, nostalgia, and every now and then even regret.

These emotions sometimes overwhelm them and induce them to share their sentiments on social media with their friends, family, strangers, and even their ex.

By sharing their feelings online, they essentially grab their ex’s and others’ attention and soothe their righteous beliefs.

Bear in mind that dumpers who express themselves online don’t want to get their ex’ attention to get back together and live a happy-ever-after life. That’s almost never the case.

They usually want their ex’s attention to alleviate their guilty conscience and move on without any regrets and bad feelings.

Dumpers just don’t need to fall out of love to move on because they fall out of love prior to the breakup. What dumpers with self-awareness need is to accept that they’ve tried to make their relationship work but that they’ve failed and that it’s not entirely their fault.

If they don’t acknowledge this on their own and feel bad for their actions, they usually try to get their ex’s attention on social media and post sad, depressing quotes and pictures.

They do this to let their ex, others, and themselves know that they feel bad for breaking their ex’s heart and that they wish they wouldn’t have to make their ex and themselves suffer.

If you’re still thinking to yourself, “Is my ex trying to get my attention on social media,” read on. We’ll go in more detail about exes’ social media posts and help you determine whether your ex is trying to get your attention.

Is my ex trying to get my attention on social media?

Now that you know that your ex could be trying to get your attention on social media to 1) gain control of the breakup or 2) to alleviate his or her guilt, let’s now discuss whether your ex is actually trying to get your attention.

A good way to differentiate the need for control from guilt (pain) is to look at the kind of posts your ex makes.

Discern whether the posts your ex makes are directly related to you (your name, title (ex-bf/ex-gf), location (your house city, village, etc) or if they’re merely about romantic relationships and your ex’s current feelings about them.

If it’s the latter – about your ex’s emotions and relationships in general, you need to know that your ex isn’t sending you secret messages because he or she regrets breaking up with you and wants to get back with you.

A lot of dumpees who want their ex back hope that this is the case, but unfortunately, it almost never is.

The separation may have triggered a sorrowful response in your ex, but you need to understand that unless your ex talks about you specifically, your ex’s actions on social media aren’t aimed at you.

They aren’t meant for you to analyze either.

Sad, happy, depressed, relieved relationship or breakup quotes are for your ex’s peace of mind and his or her post-breakup healing. Your ex also got affected in some negative ways because of the breakup and now needs time and support from friends and loved ones to recover from the termination of the relationship.

Of course, your dumper ex isn’t suffering from separation anxiety because dumpers almost never do, but your ex (provided that he has a conscience) could nonetheless feel pain and sadness because of his or her poor choices and unpremeditated actions.

That’s why you mustn’t interpret social media relationship and breakup posts as direct invitations for you to save your ex from misery and lead him or her back into a relationship with you.

If your ex wanted you to do that, your ex would have mustered up the courage, reached out, and talked about getting back together.

Pain, sorrow, depression, and regret would have forced your ex to do so.

But since your ex isn’t feeling the kind of separation pain that you’re feeling, your ex, unfortunately, doesn’t feel the need nor the desire to get close to you again.

Your ex most likely wants to stop feeling guilty for hurting you and wants to adapt to a life without you as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Here are 6 signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media.

Why is my ex trying to get my attention on social media?

If your ex tries to get your attention on social media, your ex could do that for the following reasons.

1. Your ex wants his or her social media followers to sympathize/see that your ex is happy.
2. Your ex wants you to see his or her posts so that you know he/she is sorry for hurting you. It’s also possible that your ex wants to talk to you (be friends with you) but is afraid how you’ll respond to a reach out.
3. If your ex’s posts are malicious, your ex feels angry and wants to hurt you to feel better about himself/herself. Your ex could try to hurt you by flaunting a new relationship on social media and by doing so, try to get a reaction out of you.
4. Your ex feels miserable and regrets breaking up with you. If that’s the case, unhappiness will compel your ex to reach out to you sooner than later. All you have to do is wait.

These are the only reasons why your ex would try to get your attention on social media. As you can tell, it’s feasible that your ex isn’t posting for you, but rather for himself and his or her friends, family, or acquaintances.

No matter whom your ex’s posts are intended for, know that the posts don’t really mean anything to you as a dumpee. All you need to know about them is that your ex feels positive, negative, or mixed emotions and that your ex is expressing himself or herself to feel more vigorous.

Is my ex trying to get my attention on social media by flaunting new boyfriend/girlfriend?

Many dumpees wonder whether their ex is trying to make them jealous by posting pictures of their new girlfriend or boyfriend on Facebook, Instagram, or anywhere on social media.

If you’re one of those dumpees, the truth is that most dumpers don’t flaunt their new relationship online. At least not to their ex-partners. Most dumpers usually post pictures and profess their love on social media because they feel that their new partner is their savior and that he or she can give them what they want.

I know this is the worst thing you want to hear if you’ve just seen your ex openly and shamelessly flaunt someone new on social media, but you need to know that your ex is doing that because your ex doesn’t know how his or her actions affect you.

All your ex knows that he or she is ready to date someone new and that there’s no time to waste.

This is why your ex thinks that you’re emotionally detached much like your ex and that you can handle seeing your ex with someone else.

As a dumpee, you need to go through the 5 stages of a breakup for the dumpee and process the breakup, Your ex, on the other hand, doesn’t go through these stages because your ex doesn’t need to pick up the pieces of his or her crushed self-esteem and start anew.

Your ex can just carry on and use the new-found relief from the end of the relationship to feel sorry for himself or herself and date someone new right away.

That’s why you need to understand that dumpees and dumpers think and feel completely different thoughts and emotions. Dumpees wonder if their ex thinks about them and worry that their ex’s new partner is better than them whereas dumpers who post pictures of their new partner focus on their new partner and try their best to make their new relationship work.

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Is my ex trying to get my attention on social media by flaunting his/her new partner,” my advice to you is to look at the kind of comments and posts your ex is making.

If your ex seems to be comparing his or her new partner to you, refers to you in direct or mean ways, or if the breakup just occurred and your ex posts many affectionate pictures right away, your ex is probably the vengeful type.

He or she thinks of himself/herself as the victim and wants to get back at you for the way you’d made him or her feel throughout the relationship.

However, if it’s been months and your ex just started posting pictures online with his or her new boyfriend or girlfriend, then your ex is probably not trying to make you jealous.

Your ex is probably just infatuated with this new person and wants to show the world that they belong together.

Should I make my ex jealous back?

Whatever you do, don’t try to fight fire with fire and make your ex jealous just because you’re jealous. Not only is engaging in post-breakup war with an ex completely pointless, but it also won’t affect your ex.

As you may know, your ex is fully or mainly detached and won’t feel the way you feel. Your ex is your ex because he or she had fallen out of love with you and doesn’t care whether you date someone new or stay single.

So don’t try to make your ex jealous by dating someone new and hope that your ex will give you some kind of reassuring “I care about your response.” It likely won’t happen.

What will happen is that your ex will either ignore your jealousy attempt or worse yet, retaliate in ways that hurt you even more.

What to do when your ex tries to make you jealous on social media?

Whether it’s obvious that your ex is trying to make you jealous or your ex unintentionally makes you jealous, the best thing you can do for yourself, your ex, and your loved ones is to mute or unfollow your ex as quickly as possible.

You don’t need to block your ex and disappear completely, but do hide, delete, or unlink your ex’s account from yours.

This way, you’ll push your ex out of sight and minimize the number of emotional setbacks you’ll encounter on your detoxification journey.

Of course, distancing from your ex won’t instantaneously take your reconciliation hope away, but honestly, it’s still a lot better than staying friends with your ex.

Staying close to your ex would only keep your breakup wounds open and prevent you from moving forward with your life. It would make you depend on your ex for recognition.

So get rid of all reminders of your ex and take your ex’s ability to hurt you away. The sooner you do this the quicker you’ll find your lost strength and independence.

Is your ex trying to get your attention on social media? How is your ex doing that? Post your thoughts below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.