Will He Come Back When The Timing Is Right?

If you’re wondering whether a guy you like will come back when the timing is right, you have to understand that the timing has always been right. Your ex-boyfriend has had many chances to work on himself as well as the relationship, but he chose to focus on other things instead.

By distracting himself, he neglected important relationship matters and unknowingly guided the relationship to its demise.

The only time men and women truly break up with their partner because the timing isn’t right is when they aren’t emotionally ready for a new relationship – when they rush into a new relationship right after their previous heartbreaking experience.

For such dumpers, the timing indeed isn’t right because they aren’t emotionally ready for a commitment yet. They’re still dealing with the consequences of their failed relationship or some other stressor that requires their full attention.

When a guy in a relationship says that the timing isn’t right, he usually means that he isn’t willing to fight for the relationship anymore. He lost the patience and willpower and therefore, wants to focus on himself, his friends, family members, and possibly even other women.

However, when a single guy says the timing isn’t right, he typically means that he hasn’t processed his recent relationship and/or that he is dealing with important matters such as illness, death in the family, or other things that matter to him a lot.

Sometimes, people mean what they say. They truly feel that they can’t be with someone because the timing isn’t right. But from what I see, I’m strongly convinced that many dumpers use this line as an excuse to break up with their partner.

They tell their partner that they met at the wrong time and that they might get back together in the future.

I’ve probably worked with a dozen dumpees this year whose exes used this excuse and I can tell you that the timing had nothing to do with dumpers’ feelings for their ex. The only thing that caused them to leave their loyal partner was their inadequate commitment to their partner and the inability to handle their stressors efficiently.

But because they didn’t want to hurt their ex-partner, they said that the timing wasn’t right and gave their ex false hope.

This, in turn, made dumpees wait for their exes to come back to their senses when they could have spent their valuable time detaching and improving themselves.

Needless to say, it’s unfair of dumpers to use this breakup excuse because that’s all it is – an excuse. It doesn’t give the dumpee the information he or she deserves to heal and move on.

In this post, we’ll talk about whether a guy you like will come back when the timing is right.

Will he come back when the timing is right?

If you’re wondering, “Will he come back when the timing is right,” I encourage you to examine your ex’s attitude at the very end of the relationship. Was he kind and patient with you or did he feel smothered like most dumpers and used the wrong timing as an excuse for you to pack your things and leave him alone?

Call me naive, but I think that in relationships, there are no such things as wrong timings. There are only times when couples must trust each other with internal and external stressors, join hands, and persevere through all and any issues.

Excuses like physical distance, ill parents, kids, stressful work, school, and money issues are merely excuses and have nothing to do with guys’ love for their partner. I know all these things can be emotionally and physically exhausting, but a healthy, mature person doesn’t push his partner away at the first sign of trouble. He values her and leans on her for support.

Relationships are about standing beside our partners through thick and thin.

This is why I like to think that waiting for the right time to be with someone is a complete waste of time. If we care about someone, we have to give it our best and make the time right ourselves. Our efforts and maturity determine the success of the relationship and not the problems we run into with our partner.

Problems and stressors are a part of everyone’s life. Even the wealthiest, most powerful men and women have them. It’s how we perceive difficulties and react to them that determines whether our relationship with our partner can work long-term.

The same can be said for luck. Some people think others live more fulfilling lives than them because of sheer luck. Perhaps this is true when they compare themselves to those who won the lottery or inherited a successful business. Such people indeed worked very little for their prosperity.

But to most people, this doesn’t happen. Most of us create our own destinies with the gold mines between our ears.

As Seneca, a Roman philosopher said, “Luck is what happens when preparedness meets opportunity.”

In order to be fortunate, we must make the best use of all opportunities. We must deal with bad moments properly and get the most out of the good ones.

That’s why even if your ex comes back “when the timing is right,” your ex will have a lot of work to do. He’ll have to realize that he has a bad habit of leaving when things get tough and that he must sharpen up his mental attitude if he wants to have a long-lasting relationship with you.

As for whether your ex-boyfriend will come back after he’s figured his things out, it really depends. It depends on whether his circumstances, his perceptions of you, and his feelings will improve.

His circumstances will probably eventually improve, but for him to come back, he has to encounter new issues and think about you for so long that he starts to miss your absence and crave your love, care, and support again.

In all honesty, a guy who leaves you because he thinks the timing is wrong has a lot to learn about himself. He has to engage in introspection, meaning that it could take him a long time before he discerns your worth. That’s why waiting for him to figure out what he wants is probably not a good idea.

You have your life to live. And you should live it to the fullest with or without your ex. I suggest you lean on your family and friends for support because they are the ones who accept you for who you are.

Here are 5 things that need to improve for your ex to come back when the timing is right.

The timing isn’t everything

Yes, couples must be on the same path and at the same point in life. They must want the same things from the relationship.

But this is something couples need to talk about early on when the relationship is still new. They need to discuss if they want children, how many children, where they want to live, how they want to live, what they want to do for a living, what goals they have, whether their families approve, and if they love each other and are willing to stay with each other despite certain differences, disagreements, and disadvantages.

Once they’ve agreed to the terms and conditions of the relationship, there is no going back. They have to communicate properly, grow together, and make sure that they both have similar goals and values. No two people are alike, of course, but they don’t need to be because unique qualities and characteristics make them attracted to each other.

To simplify things, couples just need one thing. They have to want to be in a relationship. And they have to want it with similar enthusiasm. When there’s a will, everything else falls in place on its own.

Love is simple when couples are ready for it and want it (not need it).

But if it’s that simple, then why don’t people stay in love? Why do so many couples go separate ways and despise each other after the breakup?

Most of the time, it’s because their thoughts, wants, perceptions, and expectations differ too much from each others’. They perceive love differently (often less strongly), so they feel disrespected, neglected, or even smothered.

Here’s an example. If a person doesn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship because he values physical intimacy over emotional intimacy, that person obviously isn’t in sync with his partner. This person has different cravings, caused by different ways of thinking and isn’t ready to invest in the relationship as much as his partner.

He basically values the benefits of the relationship over his partner’s qualities. It’s a crude way of pointing this out, but it’s true. A guy who sees value in his relationship only when he can benefit from it physically doesn’t value his partner.

He cares mostly about his emotional and sexual needs—and will do what it takes to fulfill them with his partner or with someone else.

It goes without saying that a guy like this should be honest from the start and say, “I’m looking for a short-term relationship because I’m going to leave this place soon.” Or if he doesn’t know that he’s going to relocate, he should discuss these matters with his girlfriend before things get serious. His girlfriend deserves to know how his brain works.

We all know that people are seldom this upfront with their partner. They are infatuated with their boyfriend or girlfriend, so they don’t always talk about things that may or may not happen. They usually just enjoy their relationship and deal with issues as they go.

Such people don’t always have what it takes to be in a long-distance relationship. They tend to put a high priority on being physically close to their partner, so they make an excuse and say that the timing isn’t right. What they actually mean is that they aren’t ready to commit to someone they see infrequently because they’d rather see someone else frequently.

Physically-fulfilled dumpers, however, tend to face different struggles. They feel unhappy or trapped in the relationship and crave alone time. They think that they’ll be happier without their partner.

Oftentimes, this shift in mentality occurs when they meet someone new. They feel more attracted to someone else, so they come up with an excuse that puts the blame on them, alleviates their guilt, and allows them to make a clean transition from one relationship to the next.

I’ve seen this happen many times. Most dumpees don’t even know that their ex monkey-branched and started dating someone new. Not until months later, anyway. They sincerely believe that their ex isn’t ready for a relationship, so they wait for their ex to become ready even though their ex is dating someone else already.

There are some genuine guys out there who get involved with a new woman and realize that they aren’t capable of investing emotions in their new relationship yet. But such guys don’t say this to their partner after years of being with her. They usually tell their girlfriend the truth a few months into dating.

I want you to keep this in mind so that you can tell the difference between a genuine person and a person who makes guilt-alleviating excuses.

What to do when he says the timing isn’t right?

If your ex-boyfriend said that the timing isn’t right, you have to learn the ugly truth which is that your ex either isn’t ready to be with you or isn’t willing to be with you. There are no other possibilities. For some reason, you make it more difficult for your ex to focus on things he wants to focus on.

And that’s why there’s only one thing left for you to do.

Accept the breakup graciously and concentrate on recovering from the rejection. Don’t ask your ex what he needs for the timing to be right. Don’t profess your feelings and say you’ll wait for him forever either. As difficult as it may be, depict confidence and self-esteem and wish your ex well.

Doing so will give your ex space to breathe and you an opportunity to detach.

And don’t be afraid to say you’ll be needing some time to yourself. It’s no longer about your ex’s needs, so state what you need to be happy. Your ex knows what he needs (or who he doesn’t need), so create your own rules and make sure your ex understands them clearly.

He’ll need to follow them so he won’t keep reaching out and making it difficult for you to disconnect from him. Your ex needs to know that the end of the romantic relationship means the end of everything, including friendship. So convey to him that it’s over and that you won’t be waiting for him to come back.

If you leave him alone and give him the impression that you’re moving on, he’ll respect you more than if you bother him day after day and show no signs of moving on.

Remember that whenever you feel tempted to contact your ex. Write it down if you have to. Do whatever it takes to understand that your ex needs to deal with his issues and that you can’t be there to help him.

Will he come back if I leave him alone and wait?

If your ex truly left because the timing wasn’t right, rest assured that your ex will remember you and come back after he’s fixed his issues. He won’t let you go because you mean too much to him.

But if your ex used the wrong timing as an excuse to have fun with other people, then forget it. Your ex used the oldest trick in the book to get you off his back.

Whatever you do, don’t stalk your ex on social media, or even worse, go to his home or workplace. Turning into a stalked won’t help you get an advantage in getting back with your ex, but it will overload your brain with unnecessary information and make you analyze your ex like crazy.

You might even dream about your ex and feel that your ex is thinking about you and wants you back.

My advice is to start accepting that your ex may never come back. It’s hard, I know, but accepting the outcome will help you heal whereas watching your ex’s every move will hurt you and stop you from finding your own happiness.

What do you think? Do guys come back when the timing is right? Post your thoughts below. I’d like to hear what you think.

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