Will He Come Back After No Contact?

If you’re thinking about whether your ex will come back after no contact, the first thing you need to know is that you’re not supposed to reach out to your ex after a certain number of days. The one who’s supposed to reach out is your ex.

He was the one who dumped you, so naturally, he must be the one to contact you and express regret.

If you’re the one who reaches out and does all the work, no contact will have been in vain. That’s because your ex will see that you still pine over him and that you haven’t accepted the breakup and moved on.

Always remember that the point of no contact is for your ex to see that you’re no longer in love with him and that you have no romantic expectations of him. A lack of expectations tells your ex that you’re emotionally independent and that talking to you won’t jeopardize his safety and well-being.

No contact is the fastest and most successful way for your ex to redevelop respect and feelings and want to be in a romantic relationship with you. But for no contact to have the desired effect, your ex must engage in self-reflection and reach out on his own.

He must be mentally and emotionally capable of realizing your value and wanting your value for himself.

It’s hard to say if your ex will come back after no contact because many dumpers have no intention to reconcile after no contact. Many dumpers reach out just to hurt, confuse, and annoy their ex. This may not be their intention, but because they feel guilty or curious, they break no contact and string their ex along for selfish reasons.

Dumpers are kings of breadcrumbing. Weeks or months into the breakup, they often contact their ex to get something from their ex. Most of the time, it’s forgiveness, information, or advice.

This means they put themselves before their ex and help themselves at the expense of their ex.

If you don’t want that to happen to you, you need to understand that your ex might not come back after no contact. Your ex might come back later, but you probably won’t want your ex back when that happens.

You’ll probably have fully detached and found someone more compatible and reliable to invest in and plan your future with.

The end of no contact for your ex doesn’t necessarily imply the end of no contact for you. If your interests don’t align, you need to go back to no contact and wait until they do or until your anxiety and feelings disappear.

So don’t put all your hope on no contact and wait for your ex to come back the moment he reaches out. Most dumpees will tell you that the dumper doesn’t always reach out to get back together. Usually, the dumper breaks no contact and unintentionally confuses you because he doesn’t understand what you need.

He doesn’t take the time to understand your feelings and desires, so he takes the liberty of telling you unimportant things and asks you hope-giving questions that make you feel cared for.

Sadly, a typical dumper doesn’t care about you in ways you want to be cared about. He just wants what’s best for his moving on. If he wanted the best for you, he wouldn’t send you breadcrumbs and make the breakup difficult for you.

He’d stay away from you and let you heal.

In today’s post, we answer the question, “Will he come back after no contact?” We also mention some things you can do to preserve your worth and increase the chances of your ex feeling positive emotions for you.

Will he come back after no contact?

I don’t have a crystal ball to predict whether your ex will come back after no contact. No one can tell you this unless your ex is currently seeking your attention and validation, expressing regret, professing love, and badly trying to make plans with you.

The thing with dumpers is that you usually can’t tell they want you back until they actually want you back. Dumpers live happily until something goes wrong, hurts them, changes their mind about you, and makes them want love from you.

That’s when they contact you and try to meet up with you right away.

Dumpers typically don’t slowly transition from friendship to relationship. Most of the time, they go from no contact straight back to a relationship. No contact and the problems they face make them forget their problems with their ex and drive them to reconcile with their ex and feel secure.

By getting back with their ex, they can heal from personal failure and feel supported and valued as people. They can basically stop suffering and start feeling better.

So bear in mind that your ex will come back after no contact only if things go awry for him and force him to reflect and realize that he was happier when he was with you. If that happens, he’ll come running back like greased lightning and probably shower you with compliments and promises.

You need to focus on yourself until then and keep your hopes low so you don’t get strung along and disappointed.

All in all, whether your ex comes back after no contact depends on two people; you and your ex.

It depends on you because if you make silly breakup mistakes such as posting depressing things online, trash-talking your ex, and staying dependent on your ex, your ex won’t find you attractive. He’ll consider you desperate and odd and feel that you’re a lost cause.

Other than avoiding breakup mistakes, what you do after the breakup honestly isn’t that important. As long as you don’t annoy your ex and portray yourself as a desperate ex, you won’t damage your ex’s perception of you.

The truth is, most of the reconciliation depends on your ex, particularly on your ex’s mentality and ability to let go of hurt feelings and admit fault. Your ex needs to be self-aware, forgiving, and willing to change the way he sees you.

Not only that, but something must trigger your ex’s old feelings and cravings for you. Probably something that disorientates your ex and makes your ex question his worth.

If your ex doesn’t suffer, your ex probably won’t miss you romantically. He might miss the friendship and the things you did for your ex, but your ex won’t need you back as a partner and become afraid of losing you permanently.

To want you for himself, your ex needs to discern your worth.

He could do that with reflection, but reflection typically doesn’t happen for months. It happens when things don’t go according to plan because that’s when the dumper gets hurt and is forced to lower his ego and pride.

Don’t expect your ex to come back after no contact the moment he reaches out. Try to keep your expectations low and remember that your ex is much more likely to just check up on you, assuage guilt, and leave once he feels satisfied.

Most dumpers do that because they don’t reach out for love and reconciliation purposes.

The picture below depicts 5 conditions that determine if your ex will come back after no contact.

It’s hard to predict what your ex will do after no contact even if your ex has a tendency to get in trouble and run back to exes. Your ex might decide to go back to some other ex or give a completely new person a try.

And even if your ex chooses you and comes back, your ex might not stay for long. Some dumpers come back entirely for themselves and leave again when their ex gives them what they need.

So be careful what you wish for. If your ex reaches out and/or gets back with you, that’s not the end of the journey for you. It’s the beginning of an adventure that will require you to rebuild trust and love. You’ll have to learn to trust your ex whereas your ex will have to love you and stay in love with you.

For a while, things will probably be uncertain. But I suppose you’ll worry about that when your ex actually wants you back. For now, focus on improving your flaws and getting used to an independent life.

What if he doesn’t come back after no contact?

If your ex doesn’t come back after no contact, rest assured that you’ll be fine without your ex. You might not like it at first, but when you get yourself back, you won’t let the breakup affect you anymore.

You’ll know that your life doesn’t revolve around your ex and that you can’t put it on hold just because your ex doesn’t want to be with you and might eventually come back.

You need to accept that things might be over forever because when you do, you’ll be able to let go of hope and stop stressing about whether no contact will work on your ex and if your ex will come back.

So try not to worry too much about what will happen if he doesn’t come back after no contact. The things you worry about today, you won’t worry about in the future.

When you’re detached and happy with where you got and who you are, you’ll have better things to obsess about. Your ex won’t interest you that much anymore because you’ll be in control of your body and mind again.

Therefore, your job right now is to regain control and happiness. Once you have that, you’ll look back and wonder why you even cared so much about your ex wanting you back. You’ll realize you could have spent your time in better ways and with better people.

In the meantime, get busy and fall back in love with yourself. You need to be okay with how things are otherwise you could stay dependent on your ex and overwhelm your ex even if your ex comes back.

You must remember that your ex won’t find you attractive if you say or show you need him to function properly. Your ex will probably find you weak and treat you worse because of it.

As a dumpee, you must understand that the breakup is your ex’s loss. Your ex is losing out on a great person and has to find someone new because of it.

You need to convince yourself that you have a lot to offer to relationships and that your ex isn’t the only person who can make you happy. When you do, you’ll stop wasting your time waiting for someone who doesn’t deserve a spot in your heart.

Your ex gave his spot away when he left you, so your ex must see that you know your worth and that you won’t chase him.

That’s the only way he’ll consider coming back if life gives him lemons and makes him want your understanding and affection.

Are you wondering if a guy will come back after no contact? How long have you been in no contact? Share your breakup story in the comments below—and we’ll get back to you.

Or conversely, if you’d like to go into detail about your relationship and breakup, visit our coaching page and sign up for a session with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.