Why Do Guys Stop Texting And Then Start Again?

The most common reason why guys stop texting and then start again is that they lose interest in a woman. They find something or someone else to entertain them, and when things go south with their new plans, return to the women they had put on the back burner.

I wish I could defend guys and say they’re busy with something important, but the truth is that they usually don’t have a legit excuse for ditching a woman. If they’re busy and care, they immediately apologize afterward (or beforehand), tell the woman what they’ve been busy with, and make plans to talk to her and/or see her soon.

They don’t just stop texting her for weeks and then start texting again all of a sudden like nothing happened. That’s not what guys who are interested in you do.

When you mean something to a guy, the guy will update you about his life—and not just shut you out and force you to wonder where he is and what he’s doing. The guy will make sure that you understand what he’s going through and make it up to you with promises or apologies.

So don’t think that it’s normal for guys to stop texting and then start again. If anything, it’s abnormal because it proves that they were busy with something and that they didn’t think you deserved to know about it.

They thought it didn’t concern you and by doing so, indirectly told you that you aren’t on the same page with them.

Some guys (and women as well) also like to play power games with each other. They pretend to be busy and unavailable with important things in life with the intention to attract the other person more. Of course, such games are unnecessary as they come from a place of low self-esteem and deflated ego and intend to manipulate the other person by hurting him/her and artificially increasing his or her desire for validation.

Simply put, push-pull games are a waste of time. If a person likes you and you like him, there’s no need to play with his feelings and self-esteem. On the contrary, you should care about his feelings and well-being and make sure he likes you because you’re nice to him, not because you’re mean and uncaring on purpose.

I get it, people don’t want to come across as extremely available and clingy. No one wants to be that person who has the time to reply instantaneously. But if you are that person (which many people are), that’s okay. It’s a sign that you could use a few more hobbies, interests, or friends.

There’s no shame in admitting it. Not everyone’s completely occupied all the time every day.

So if a guy merely pretends to have a lot going on in his life and keeps pushing you away deliberately by not responding to you, you have to consider the possibility that he may be trying to manipulate you.

He may feel insecure inside and could be trying to constantly obtain approval in unhealthy manners. This means that if you eventually become a couple that your relationship will likely have power balance issues.

The guy will crave power and validation—and he’ll crave it in a way that may not vibe with you and contribute to the growth of the relationship.

We all feel a bit insecure from time to time, but in my opinion, you should be wary of guys who feel extremely insecure. Such guys probably have the least going on in their lives and likely won’t feel ashamed for distorting your opinion of them and treating you badly.

On the contrary, they’ll feel good about themselves because they’ll boost their egos.

The topic of today’s post is why do guys stop texting and then start again. We’ve already mentioned that they could be playing power games and have other women in line, but we haven’t yet mentioned that guys could also be dealing with something private they don’t want to share or that they could be emotionally unavailable.

Why do guys stop texting and then start again?

Let’s start with the most obvious reason that women suspect and fear the most – other women. When perfectly healthy guys stop texting, this normally happens because they get bored and lose interest.

They don’t lose interest because a woman overpursues or because she’s not good enough but because another woman enters the picture. The new woman is new, different, and exciting, so she piques the guy’s interest and makes him forget about the previous woman.

This tends to happen to a lot of women. Things are going great, possibly getting a bit more serious, but then the guy meets someone else and gets the grass is greener syndrome. He starts to wonder, “What if I’m rushing things? What if this new person is better than the other woman and if I’m making a mistake?”

Such self-doubts often activate a guy’s fear of commitment, so he ends up not committing to anyone. He just keeps exploring other options because he wants to make sure he finds the best possible woman for him.

A commitment phobic doesn’t believe that relationships require work. He thinks that he must find the best person for him from the start and not have to put in much effort later.

He basically wants the perfect product. And he’s prepared to keep shopping until he finds it. Needless to say, he never does because a perfect woman doesn’t exist. She is merely a product of his imagination.

The reason why guys later start texting women they’ve stopped responding to is that they run out of options. They thought some other woman was better, but she proved not to be, so they run back to their previous woman and allow themselves to be entertained by her.

Such guys don’t always stay in touch with the woman they return to. If they don’t discover her worth, they tend to use her for boredom, sex, and validation until they meet someone new and repeat the whole process.

Guys can be sneaky that way. They don’t always realize or care that they’re stringing a woman along and hurting her for their selfish benefits. That’s why they use her (text her) when they need her and discard her (stop texting her) when they don’t need her.

Another reason why guys stop texting for a day or two and then start again is that they wish to be in control. They want to know that the woman they’re interested in is more interested in them than they are in her, so they wait for the woman to make the first move.

Guys like this are afraid of scaring the woman away and would rather have a woman come to them than they to a woman. Some guys have trust issues or have been needy and clingy in the past, so they don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. They want the girl or woman they like to prove she likes them first because when she does, they know it’s safe enough for them to stop hiding their feelings and give more.

Guys can be more cowardly and sly than women think. Some guys even believe it’s women’s job to initially do the chasing and that it’s healthy. They think that the more submissive person (or gender) should give up power and control.

But I think that they’re just afraid. Afraid of getting rejected and having their egos crushed.

So if a guy you know plays mind games and likes to be in charge, keep in mind that this person is willing to play dirty just to impress you. He’s an insecure man who’s afraid to show his emotions and come on too strong too early.

How he acts now is a preview of how he’ll act in a relationship with you if it gets to that.

You must also consider the possibility that a guy who stops texting you and starts again later may not like you much. He may see you as someone he can spend time with but not as a person he can establish an emotional connection with.

You need to be rational and realistic about this so that you don’t get too attached to him and allow him to friend zone you.

What to do when a guy stops texting and starts again?

First of all, when a guy stops texting you, you must also stop texting him. It doesn’t matter if he’s got a family emergency or if he’s not that into you. If he stopped paying attention to you, responding, or initiating, he wants to deal with whatever he’s dealing with on his own.

He doesn’t want to communicate anymore because communication doesn’t make him happy. It probably pressures, annoys, or angers him and makes him even less excited to chat with you.

So even if the guy’s dealing with something stressful like death in the family, don’t think that you need to force yourself into his life. Most guys don’t want emotional support when they’re going through difficult times. They want time to themselves because that’s how they’ve been taught or self-taught to deal with undesirable emotions.

You must remember that no matter how busy guys are or how difficult the situation they’re going through is that guys show what they feel about you through actions.

If they speak to you and they’re consistent at it, they show that they’re capable of handling their emotions and willing to talk to you about them.

But if they don’t speak to you, if they treat you poorly, if they communicate ineffectively, or if they aren’t consistent at what they do, they, unfortunately, aren’t into you as much as you’d like them to be.

They’re more interested in themselves and will continue to prove that to you throughout the course of the relationship.

My advice about a guy who’s stopped texting you is to let him go right away. Don’t ask him anything, just keep cool. But when he comes back and wants your attention again, promptly ask him where he’s been.

Ask him why he took so long to respond and see what he says in his defense. If he likes you, this question won’t scare him away. It might pump his ego a bit because he’ll see that his absence affected you emotionally, but it will also tell him that what he did wasn’t right and that he needs to put his best foot forward.

You shouldn’t just instantly forgive guys who ditched you to do who knows what. You should first make sure that they’ve come back for the right reasons and that they’re eager to invest in you and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

If a guy ditches you because he isn’t emotionally ready for a new relationship yet, that’s understanding. He tried to rush things and realized he’s not able to reciprocate your feelings and give you what you want yet.

That’s okay. He has the right to take the time to heal and/or deal with his past.

But what he doesn’t have the right to do is to not communicate his issues/reasons for cutting you out of his life This kind of behavior isn’t self-caring but self-centered and rude as it proves that the guy lacks communication skills and moral values.

Whatever the guy’s reason for pulling away is, it’s not the pulling away that’s the issue. It’s the way he does it and the nonchalant manner in which he tries to crawl back into your life afterward.

Remember that you shouldn’t do anything to stop a guy from leaving. You should even open the door for him to allow him to leave faster.

But when he returns and pretends that nothing happened, you shouldn’t just let him back in without any questions. You need to stand up for yourself and tell him that you don’t mind him leaving but that he should at least have informed you about his reasons for leaving.

This will keep his ego in check and let him know that you’re not happy with his behavior. You may not know this person on a deeper level yet, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t point out his lack of care and proper communication. If someone ghosts you or disappears at a snail speed, you deserve to know what went wrong so that you can stop waiting for him and improve the things about yourself that need improving.

Why do you think guys stop texting and then start again after a while? Do you think it’s because they get hurt and realize they’d made a mistake or because they get bored and need someone to talk to? I’d like to know what you think. Post your comment below the post.

And if you’re having trouble with a disappearing guy and want our help with him, visit our coaching page to subscribe to 1-on-1 coaching.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.