When Your Ex Seems Happy On Social Media

Are you wondering what it means and what to do when your ex seems happy on social media?

Before you take your ex’s happiness personally and do something you might regret, you need to know that the majority of dumpers feel elated after the breakup. They’re so glad the relationship ended that they feel liberated and excited to be single again.

The relationship wasn’t working for them (working the way they wanted it to work), so they feel a renewed sense of freedom and a strong desire to express their freedom.

Some dumpers go out a lot, talk to new people, update their wardrobe, drink, and party discreetly, whereas the least self-aware dumpers post their new-found happiness on social media and make their ex feel that he or she has been holding them back from having fun and reaching their full potential.

Because they act so happy and free-minded, they give the impression that their ex doesn’t matter to them and that they’ve found better people or things to entertain themselves with. This badly harms the dumpee’s self-esteem, crushes the dumpee’s hope for reconciliation, and hinders the dumpee from regaining personal power and letting go of the dumper.

Sadly, the happier the dumper appears on social media and the more fun he or she appears to have, the more dangerous it is for the dumpee as the dumpee gets hurt and despises seeing the dumper turn into an elated person he or she doesn’t know and approve of.

When the dumper acts impulsively, irresponsibly, mean, or differently, the dumpee’s innocent/idealistic image of his or her ex begins to crack. This is the dumpee’s first glimpse of the dumper’s relieved personality and capabilities.

The dumpee never got to see the dumper act that way because the dumper never had a chance to behave that way. As long as the dumper loved the dumpee, there was no drive and need to behave erratically. The dumper had respect and love for the dumpee and actually wanted to protect the dumpee’s heart as well as his or her own image.

Maintaining his or her image and protecting the dumpee was a priority as it allowed the dumper to continue to receive love. The purpose of love was to provide happiness, security, and a sense of belonging.

After the breakup, that changed instantly. The dumper no longer cared about preserving his or her image and impressing the dumpee. All the dumper wanted was to be free and let loose.

By letting loose, the dumper could act on post-breakup emotions such as relief and elation and for the first time in a while, not worry about the dumpee’s problems.

Every dumper behaves differently after the breakup. But because most dumpers feel relieved and/or infatuated with someone else, they appear to have changed into completely different/unrecognizable people. They give off uncaring and strange vibes and make dumpees wonder if they were not interesting or fun enough for their ex.

Dumpee’s self-esteem is at an all-time low, so they wonder if they made things boring for their ex.

From what I know, boredom isn’t the reason dumpers leave. It’s an excuse they make to justify their neglect and self-neglect.

So if you see your ex happy and having fun on social media, don’t let your insecurities brainwash you into thinking you weren’t fun enough. Your job in the relationship wasn’t to entertain your ex and give him or her purpose and direction in life.

Your ex was responsible for engaging in fulfilling hobbies and ensuring a healthy social life. If your ex is running wild now that the breakup happened, your ex is merely acting on his or her post-breakup emotions.

The emotions your ex feels are strong but temporary. They will last only for as long as your ex is in the phase of feeling excited and exploring new things. Once these powerful emotions disappear, you can expect your ex to revert to his or her usual self. In other words, your ex will stop posting super-happy pictures on social media.

If you’re looking for guidance on what to do when your ex seems happy on social media, this is the article for you.

When your ex seems happy on social media

If your ex seems happy on social media and your ex’s happiness is killing you, you need to understand that your ex is feeling and doing what most dumpers feel and do. Your ex is responding to breakup emotions by participating in activities that distract your ex and make your ex happy.

And the things that make your ex happy hurt you because you aren’t used to seeing them. You have certain expectations of your ex you expected your ex to fulfill.

Because your ex didn’t, you feel that your ex is outgrowing himself or herself and becoming a better and more fun person for someone else. The thought that your ex is evolving and slipping away from you is breaking your heart as you never expected your ex to act this way, let alone leave you.

You thought that at the very least, your ex would have a hard time separating from you and rebuilding his or her life.

One thing you’re forgetting, though, is that dumpers seldom have problems moving on and enjoying their post-breakup life. For the most part, they’re excited to be free and independent and eager to get back into the dating pool.

Their goal is to regain the identity they combined with their ex. They want to feel in control to the point where they can decide what they do and who they spend time with.

At the end of the relationship, they felt they needed to compromise too much and sacrifice their happiness for their ex.

That’s why the breakup makes them feel so calm and encourages them to do what THEY want. And what they want is to stay away from the dumpee and do whatever it takes to stay relieved, happy, and excited.

Dumpers want to keep the momentum going and not worry about their ex’s wants, needs, and feelings.

For that reason, dumpers are often regarded as inconsiderate and selfish. They don’t show much or any care for the dumpee because they think it’s acceptable and a must for them to do anything it takes to be happy.

Often, “anything” includes:

• focusing on their social life
• signing up for dating apps
• spreading rumors about their ex
• presenting themselves as victims
• ignoring their ex and their ex’s feelings
• posting happy quotes, statements, and pictures on social media

Dumpers are emotionally exhausted from the relationship and want to be left alone to do things that make them happy and give them energy. They don’t want to be reminded of their ex and do things that make it look like they’re still in a relationship with their ex.

The time for relationship habits and behaviors has ended. After the breakup, it’s time for them to disassociate from the dumpee, present themselves as free individuals, and do what feels right in the moment.

Dumpers don’t worry about the future unless they broke up with their ex due to their ex not wanting children and/or taking the relationship to the next level.

So if your ex seems happy on social media and you don’t know why, it’s not because you couldn’t make your ex happy. It’s because your ex held unhealthy emotions inside for so long that your ex now feels relieved and excited to share his or her relief with others.

Don’t think your ex is competing with you and trying to make you envious or jealous. Unless your ex is immature and vengeful, your ex isn’t doing that. Your ex probably just lacks the self-awareness and emotional intelligence necessary for understanding how happy social media posts make you feel.

If your ex doesn’t understand that, your ex can’t put himself or herself in your shoes. That means your ex’s empathy levels are too low to do the right thing (not post things) and avoid hurting you. Because your ex can’t and won’t be mindful of your feelings, you have no choice but to take control of the situation.

You can do that not by telling your ex to be respectful but to unfollow your ex, delete your ex, deactivate your profile, or delete your profile. What you do is entirely up to you. Just make sure to do it quickly so you don’t keep watching your ex looking so happy.

Your ex’s happiness, friends, and/or dating partner will only hinder your happiness and delay your healing. I can’t think of a single reason why keeping your ex that close to you could help you. Sure, it gives you a bit of control over a situation you feel powerless about.

But control can be regained in healthier ways – by focusing on yourself and people who want you and accept you. These things will empower you whereas your ex will take your power away. Especially if you reach out to your ex and fail at making your ex love you.

The point is, you don’t need to know what your ex is posting and how your ex is feeling. That’s unnecessary and counterproductive as it causes you unnecessary stress and unease. You need to understand that your ex has power over you and that he or she can directly or indirectly make you miserable.

If you allow yourself to see what your ex posts, you could suffer immensely when you learn that your ex is having fun, dating other people, and not thinking about getting back with you.

With that said, here are my tips on what to do when your ex seems happy on social media.

When you learn your ex is happy and not thinking about you as much as you’d like, you need to find a way to distract yourself. Find something to do (preferably with other people) so you can get unhealthy thoughts out of your head.

You need to avoid reminders of your ex and focus on enjoying your life. That’s the recipe for getting over a breakup.

What does it mean when the dumpee seems happy on social media?

Unless the dumpee has detached, it’s unlikely that the dumpee’s social media posts are what they appear to be. Dumpees go through excruciating separation anxiety and pain. They suffer immensely and feel lost for at least a few months.

If during those few months, you noticed your dumpee ex looking happy, your ex is probably trying to put on a brave face. Your ex is trying to look happy in order to captivate you and get back into a relationship with you.

Some dumpees even try to make their ex jealous by dating someone new. They don’t understand that their ex has lost feelings and that he or she won’t get jealous or jealous enough to want them back. A little bit of jealousy does not make the dumper forget all the issues and let go of resentment.

Needless to say, dumpees should not resort to cheap manipulation tactics as mature dumpers see right through them. They should instead work on themselves, rebuild their self-esteem, and find their purpose in life.

Once they’ve accomplished that, they’ll be as prepared as they can be for a romantic relationship with their ex or with someone else.

Those dumpees who try to make their ex envious soon after the breakup and too directly tend to annoy their ex, lose their ex’s respect, and decrease the odds of their ex wanting to be with them. Their ex just doesn’t take the bait because their ex gets irritated and needs space.

I suggest that you let your ex post whatever he or she wants, regardless of whether your ex is a dumper or a dumper. If your ex is a dumper, your ex will stop posting overly happy pictures in a couple of months or so.

And if your ex is a dumpee, your ex will give up on trying to impress you and win you back when he or she loses hope and recovers emotionally.

Did you learn what it means and what you must do when your ex seems happy on social media? Do you have any suggestions? Let us know in the comments section below and we’ll get back to you shortly.

However, if you’d like to talk about your ex’s social media happiness sooner and in detail, sign up for a coaching session here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.