Are you asking yourself “how long before your ex comes back?” To give you an honest answer, your ex will most likely come back in your life when you stop obsessing about him or her. When you prioritize yourself and the ones who care about you, your ex may once again want to be a part of your life.
When will my ex come back?
Time-wise, more often than not, your ex will come around when you have completely disconnected and moved on. She will usually be back when you no longer want her. When your ex comes looking for attention and validation, you will be able to walk away (provided you became a better version of yourself).
Your ex will probably come back when he or she realizes that the new life isn’t as amazing as he or she first imagined. This could be when your ex has trouble in his or her life or when your ex breaks up with his or her new partner.
If I had to guess, I would say it can take anywhere from a few months to over a year, provided you are in indefinite no contact.
Hopefully, you won’t care about your ex by then and you will have stopped asking yourself questions about your ex and the time it takes for him or her to come back.
I would suggest that you start dating again as soon as it’s possible for you so that you stop obsessing over your ex and shift your focus to an “abundant mentality.”
I reiterate, exes come back when you are completely fine on your own and content without them.
So don’t beg anyone to stay in your life! Instead, when your partner breaks up with you, accept his or her decision and walk away with pride.
Tell your ex that you are walking out of his or her life and stick to your words no matter what. Your ex has disrespected you by breaking things off with you. Do not disrespect yourself by begging your ex to reconsider.
When you walk away with your head held high, you send a clear message to your ex that you respect yourself more than he or she thinks.
So show your ex that.
Happiness = attraction
When your ex gets the idea that you need him less than he or she needs you, your ex could suffer a blow to the ego.
That’s why you must let your ex see you living your life to the fullest, dating others and moving on.
If anything is going to bring your ex back, it’s when you show your ex that you have what it takes to be happy on your own.
So find your self-worth again and fall in love with yourself once more. If you do this correctly, you will have improved your self-worth and self-esteem.
You will also recognize your good traits and see how you can positively contribute to any romantic relationship. When you begin to put yourself first, your value is going to skyrocket, and you will become a lot more attractive in the process.
When you stay away from your ex for a long time and give him or her absolutely nothing, your ex will start to wonder how you managed to do it.
So don’t respond to any provocations your ex may throw your way and stay on your path to recovery. Always give your ex less than he or she gives you and coincidentally, prevent his/her ego from inflating.
You must remember that you need to make your ex want you back the right way. So don’t use any devious tricks or play jealousy games to capture your ex’s attention.
When, how, and why your ex reaches out, depends on:
- how you behaved post-breakup. (Avoid being angry, depressed, needy, or vengeful)
- the seriousness of the relationship. (How long was it? Did you have kids? Did you live together or were you married? How passionate was the relationship?)
- how much your ex truly valued you in the relationship
It will come as a surprise
Exes always seem to send messages out of the blue. I can almost guarantee you that you will be preoccupied with your own tasks at hand when you receive a message from your ex.
And when that happens, you might not even care much about your ex anymore. It’s hard to believe this to be the case if you are fresh out of a relationship. So give it some time to detach and you will see for yourself.
Don’t be afraid to let go of hope. Eventually, you will no longer be dependent on your ex for your happiness, and ultimately, that’s what you should be going for.
When you are free of unhealthy attachments is when you can begin to attract your ex again. But if you contact your ex any time before that, you will surely fail because of inauthenticity, neediness, and other mistakes that ruin your value.
The best advice I can give you is to believe in your worth because there is no other person like you out there. The fact that you are here reading this article means you are ready to take actions and avoid post-breakup mistakes.
This is your chance to grow, so don’t stop evolving!
Has your ex come back? When do you think he or she will come back? Share your thoughts below.
Hey,
So he broke up with me a few days ago, and a few days before that his great grandfather had past away and he said he needed a break. He has done this in the past, ran because he was scared of his feelings. He broke up with me in a text and when I finally responded to his double text, he admitted that he went about it the wrong way, and even admitted that he was immature. I want to believe that he will come back because he always has in the past, but I do not know what to do at this point. We were together for over 2 years, and made plans to live with each other an eventually get married. In fact, he was looking at apartments online with me 3 days before he said he wanted a break. I kind of feel like I pushed him into the break, which I know I shouldn’t be blaming myself, but it is still a thought in my mind. I thought maybe his emotions were high because of the death and that he’s come back in a few week, but I’m not sure what to think at this point. I removed him from all social media and text is the only contact he has had from me, even though it’s been sparse.
Okay I don’t know if you’ll reply but i have a question, so after dating 9 months he left me, okay? He said he loved me while going but he feels like we’ve reached a dead end. Okay i made a mistake by pleading once and contacting him giving him back his gifts because One week after the breakup he followed his first ex that dumped him in really bad way. She didn’t follow him back but he started sending anonymous message of how she’s pretty etc. Liking her photos etc. He even contacted her once about a month later after our breakup but she told him she doesn’t even want him and blocked him. He still haven’t unfollowed her nor stopped liking her pics and so and probably still trying. And i knew that he’s been dreaming of her for a while that’s why he contacted her. Will he be back? Why is he even still trying for someone who hurt him once and hurt him again yet he’s trying and forgot all about me?
Hey Zan, great article. I’m curious to if 6 1/2 months later after she broke up with me, is she still missing me and is my indefinite no contact definetely having an effect on her? i remember you said it’d be impossible for her to feel nothing, dispite posting pictures and all of that nonsense… the fear of loss and anxiety is still there right?
That’s aswell as always being on her mind(you can’t just block it out) especially if your love was real and after 1.5 years together and you did things nobody else would. I’d just like your input and to hear what you have to say..
Also another thing, i still have her on snapchat, whatsapp, insta… i’ve never read her stories but a few months into the breakup she turned off her “last seen” on whatsapp, i know she still checks mine, even though i can’t see hers.
I want to know if it’s a wise decision to turn mine off, or keep it on… so she can still check because she knows it’s on. Do i continue giving her absolutely nothing? or will she interpret this as i’m doing it because of her or moved on etc and that will help her solidify her decision?
i’ll look forward to reading your reply and hopefully i’ll feel better about my no contact, sometimes – well alot of the times, it’s extremely difficult not hearing anything from her either, help me out.
Thanks.
Hey Secret Squirrel. Thanks for the comment.
Your indefinite no contact does many things in your case scenario:
1)It shows you don’t “need” her to live your life
2)Prevents you from making any mistakes
3)Helps regain your power back slowly
4)Gives her the time to wait for her to be ready on her own terms for her to reach out
5)Helps your learn from your mistakes and incorporate new belief systems
6)The fear of loss will kick in when she realizes you were good to her/life treats her roughly/new guy fails
…
Don’t assume she is doing things on social media for you. It could be for whatever reason, so don’t overanalyze. It shouldn’t matter what she is doing anyway. Don’t change what you are doing, so keep going. The last thing you want to do is empower her even more by letting her know her actions still have an effect on you. Instead, appear indifferent and try to focus on yourself. Get busy, and I mean really busy.
The fact that you are still thinking about her and what you should do half a year later, shows you haven’t found your own happiness yet.
If/when you get back together with her, I strongly advise you to do a few things first, in order to for the relationship to be stable:
– Love yourself first and always
– Get super busy in your life to get your mind off
– Incorporate anxiety-relieving techniques, such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing…
– Identify and examine the mistakes on your part and what you could have done differently (don’t overthink)
– Go from Secret Squirrel to Super Squirrel. Become a person she would regret dumping (a better version of yourself)
– Date others and get your self-esteem back
When you’ve done all of those things and a few more, you will not be emotionally dependent on your ex any more. That doesn’t mean you won’t get back together just because you no longer feel like you need her. She will find you attractive again when you are not crawling on all fours after her when she contacts you.
Confidence will take you far, my friend.
You can talk to me, whenever you feel like the anxiety is getting worse.
Kind regards,
Zan