The Psychology Of Blocking An Ex

Most dumpees feel tempted to block an ex and feel better about being dumped. We want to show our ex we don’t agree with his or her decisions and actions and wish to stand up for what we believe in. We want our ex to notice our strength and face the consequences of abandoning us.

Blocking is an escalation to unresolved breakup problems. It doesn’t resolve anything; it just gives us a fake feeling of control. Blocking is one of the only ways left to punish the dumper and make him or her pay for breaking our ego and causing us pain. Pride, anger, and need for vengeance urge us to get back at the dumper and make him or her see that we feel in control of the breakup (even though we don’t).

Blocking sends the message that we’re done and that we’re ready to move on.

Although a young, foolish, and manipulative dumper might get scared of losing the dumpee after getting blocked, a detached, determined, and exhausted dumper will not. He or she will think of blocking as an immature gesture and lose even more respect for the impulsive dumpee.

For those of you who want your ex back, you need to understand that blocking does not make the dumper regret leaving and want to try harder to make the relationship work. On the contrary, it shows the dumper that you’re angry and disappointed with his or her behavior and that you don’t want to talk and get back together.

Hence, blocking an ex has a positive and a negative effect. The positive effect is that it blocks your ex out of sight and mind. It prevents you from stalking your ex and seeing reminders of your ex that set you back emotionally.

As for the negative effect of blocking an ex, it makes reconciliation much more difficult. Blocking implies that you can’t or don’t want to communicate anymore, which deters the dumper from feeling respected and wanting to get back together. It’s hard to approach someone who resents you and blocks your phone number and social accounts.

Sometimes blocking an ex is essential for the dumpee’s health and well-being. It’s essential when the dumper is verbally or physically abusive, manipulative, and unwilling to cease contact. Such an ex needs to be blocked urgently to avoid his or her threats and guarantee your own safety. The dumper may not like getting blocked, but that’s okay because your safety and happiness come first.

If you can get rid of an aggressive ex-partner and regain control of your life, you need to do what you want rather than what your ex wants. I encourage all dumpees (and dumpers) who receive threats or disrespectful texts or calls to block their ex. Do so after explaining it’s okay to be angry but that saying mean things is not acceptable and that you’ll resort to blocking the next time this happens.

The psychology of blocking an ex is very straightforward. Blocking teaches your ex that (unhealthy) communication is off the table and that your priorities have changed. You no longer wish to stay in touch with your ex because talking causes old issues to resurface and makes you feel trapped and uncomfortable.

Every person has the right not to communicate with an ex. But I think that most people should think things through and clarify why they’re unwilling to communicate. They should keep in mind that people develop feelings and expectations and that they should let them down gently rather than abruptly.

They should be empathetic but frank with their ex and say it so their ex understands their reasons and changes his or her behavior if necessary. If possible, they should warn their ex about blocking beforehand and say that they’ll have no choice but to block unless he or she stops interacting with them (and saying mean or rude things).

Before we block someone we don’t like, we should consider his or her actions and feelings (even if that person hasn’t considered ours – this is maturity in a nutshell). If we dumped our ex and our ex feels hurt and keeps reaching out for emotional support and validation, blocking him or he would be a terrible idea.

Even if the dumpee occasionally triggers our anger, resentment, and need for space, we shouldn’t block the dumpee on impulse and make the dumpee fend for him/herself.

We should consider the dumpee’s feelings and remember that our blocking behavior will hurt the dumpee’s self-esteem and recovery process. The dumpee may no longer be with us, but he or she is still “our problem.” We caused the problem, so we’re responsible for minimizing the dumpee’s pain and suffering.

It’s the least we could do for someone we lost feelings for and got rid of. It may not excite you to help an ex you left, but if you can’t help, at least don’t make things worse. Don’t block unless your or your loved ones’ safety is in jeopardy. If you or someone you know feels threatened by your ex, you should probably involve the authorities.

However, if you’re a dumpee, things are a bit different. Blocking likely won’t affect your ex’s sense of self-worth and cause your ex to spiral into depression. But it will anger your ex or make your ex see that you’re angry and bitter. This depends on whether your ex feels victimized. If your ex blames you for the breakup, your ex will think that he or she should have been the one to block you after everything you’ve done.

If your ex has doubts about breaking up with you and thinks about getting back together, blocking will likely eliminate his or her doubts and make him or her avoid looking for ways to get unblocked and re-establish communication. Blocking your ex might not be the wisest thing to do if you did something wrong for which you got broken up with.

That will probably reduce or destroy your chances of getting back together with your ex. Consider blocking your ex if your ex disrespects or threatens you or if you’ve given up on your ex and want to recover without interruptions.

In today’s post, we’ll talk about the psychology of blocking an ex after the breakup. We assume most people reading this are dumpees, so we’ll write from their perspective.

The psychology of blocking an ex

If you’re thinking of blocking your ex to get another chance with your ex, know that blocking is extremely unlikely to bring back your ex’s feelings, open your ex’s eyes, and force your ex to show up at your place and beg for forgiveness. Blocking will probably annoy your ex and confirm your ex’s reasons for leaving. He or she will consider it your retribution for getting dumped and seeing him or her happy.

Of course, how your ex interprets blocking depends on your ex. If your ex thinks blocking is disrespectful and expects you to handle the breakup confidently, he or she will get irritated and feel tempted to do something to hurt you back.

Don’t block your ex just to hurt your ex and make your ex care about you. If your ex doesn’t love you anymore, blocking will drive a wedge between you and your ex and further complicate the reconciliation process. It will make your ex see that you lack maturity, morals, and self-control and that dumping you was necessary for his or her health and happiness.

You may feel abandoned and hurt and super eager to tell your ex not to mess with you, but you don’t need to take it out on your ex. If you’re in pain, talk to friends, spend time with family, exercise, journal your feelings, and see a therapist. Just don’t block your ex when you’re furious because you’ll probably regret it later.

When you cool off and realize you want your ex back very badly, you’ll wish you hadn’t blocked your ex and shown that you lost control over your emotions. Many dumpees regret blocking their ex as soon as they accept the rejection and start thinking more rationally.

I don’t want you to block your ex in the heat of the moment. Don’t do it unless your ex does something offensive or disrespectful and leaves you with no choice but to protect yourself and your loved ones.

If you lost respect for your ex, you can block your ex. Just don’t let it be in response to something your ex has done. Something like a breakup, posting a happy picture on social media, going on with someone else, or sending you a breadcrumb. Blocking may feel empowering, but it won’t contribute to self-growth. Not if you block your ex when emotions run high.

Block your ex to avoid long-term damage rather than negative feelings in the present moment. For current pain and inconvenience, rely on stress-coping techniques instead.

If you don’t want to see your ex on social media, you can always unfollow or delete your ex. Many social platforms have the option to hide your ex’s posts and stories. But if you don’t have the strength or ability not to check your ex’s social profile, then you have a decision to make. Ask yourself if you’re okay with lowering the chances of reconciliation and not getting back together with your ex.

If you’re okay with it, you can block your ex and be done with your ex. You won’t check up on your ex any longer, find things you’re not supposed to find, and feel anxious because of it. Blocking your ex won’t be the end of your post-breakup suffering, but it will help avoid unnecessary triggers and pain.

As you can see, blocking an ex is a complex psychological decision that can benefit your health by keeping your ex out of your head and ensuring the fastest recovery (unless you block on impulse and still want your ex back). It can’t, however, make you get over your ex instantly and encourage your ex to come back.

An ex will come back soon after being blocked only if he or she broke up with you intending to make you change your behaviors. If that’s the case, you don’t need to block. You just need to work on yourself and wait for your ex to reach out and ask for another chance.

Having said that, here’s how the psychology of blocking an ex works on a dumper ex.

How will blocking affect my ex?

It’s had to say how blocking will impact your ex’s thoughts, feelings, and decisions because it depends on your ex’s personality, mentality, attachment, coping mechanisms, self-esteem, fears, and post-breakup expectations.

If your ex has no plans about getting back together or talking to you as a friend, your ex probably won’t be affected. He or she might be surprised, but other than that, your ex won’t get hurt to the point of running back to you and apologizing for leaving you.

The psychology behind blocking an ex doesn’t have that kind of power. It can’t make your ex do something he or she doesn’t feel and want to do. It can only bring out his or her insecurities, fears, and repressed anger.

If you’re counting on a detached ex to get scared and take you back, you’re hoping for the impossible. You’re expecting your ex to still have romantic feelings for you and want you back.

What you’re forgetting is that your ex left you because he or she lost feelings and faith in the relationship. Due to an emotional separation, your ex decided to let go of everything you’d built together and went his or her separate way.

Don’t block your ex, hoping your ex will realize your worth and come back. Block only if you can’t stop checking up on your ex and receiving updates on your ex’s life that hinder your healing. Block also if your ex won’t stop reaching out, bothering you, and messing with your healing, happiness, and growth. Your ex shouldn’t be allowed to reach out whenever he or she pleases.

Your ex should be aware of your post-breakup boundaries and respect them at all times.

So never ignore or block an ex to bring a reaction out of your ex. Your ex probably won’t give you the reaction you crave and expect. He or she will either ignore you or take his or her anger out on you. Things will get out of control and waste your energy and time.

You have to understand that the blocking button on social media exists for you, not your ex. It’s meant for you to keep unwanted reminders away and avoid unpleasant setbacks. It’s not there to manipulate your ex’s feelings and get your ex to care about you.

All you need to know about blocking an ex is that it could help you feel better if your ex asks for attention (wants you back) or oversteps your boundaries. It could also complicate your life if you regret blocking your ex when you start missing your ex and questioning your decision to block.

If your ex isn’t contacting you and bothering you, it may be better not to block your ex. You’ll experience fewer doubts and heal quicker. But if your ex is breadcrumbing you, threatening you, disrespecting your need to heal, and if you think you’ll let go of your ex quicker by blocking your ex, then block your ex. Make sure to keep your ex blocked so that your ex doesn’t mess with your brain.

I hope you’ve learned a thing or two about the psychology of blocking an ex. Share your views on this topic below.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.