Sleeping With My Ex-boyfriend Who Has A Girlfriend

Recently, I discovered that lots of women are sleeping with their ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend. Some women are in it just for sex and don’t want their ex back, but most of them still have feelings for their ex and hope that their ex-boyfriend will get back with them.

They want their ex to see their worth and fall back in love with them even though their ex is dating someone else already.

What such women don’t know is that they’re playing a very dangerous game. They’re putting themselves before their ex’s new girlfriend with the intention to confuse their ex-boyfriend and make him fall back in love with them.

Although there’s a chance that they’ll be successful at persuading their ex, there’s also a big chance that they won’t. For their ex to choose them, they would not only have to appear confident and self-reliant, but they would also have to wait for their ex’s new relationship to end.

They’d have to allow themselves to be strung along until something goes wrong in their ex’s new relationship. That’s when their ex might get hurt from the devastating end of the relationship, choose them, and give them one more chance.

So if you’re still sleeping with an ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend, keep in mind that it doesn’t matter how good you are in bed. As long as your ex is dating someone new, he’s most likely going to keep getting closer to the new girl or woman and eventually push you away.

He’s going to do that because he’ll develop a bond with the new person and become eager to take his new relationship to the next level.

If he doesn’t push you away, however, then you need to understand that the guy doesn’t yet know what he wants and who to pick. He just wants the best of both worlds—and doesn’t care that he’s being unfair to you and his girlfriend.

It’d be wise of you not to keep sleeping with your ex-boyfriend or you and the new woman could both end up even more attached and disappointed.

In this post, we’ll discuss what sleeping with an ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend does to you, your ex, and your ex’s new girlfriend. You probably don’t care about the new person very much because you want your ex to be with you, but you should still know that talking to your ex-boyfriend and sleeping with him while he’s in a relationship with a new woman is unfair to her.

Sleeping with my ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend

If you’re sleeping with your ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend, you’re essentially tugging at your ex’s sleeve while his girlfriend is tugging at the other end. You’re both pulling your ex toward yourselves without realizing that your ex is the last person you should fight for.

He’s someone who doesn’t deserve either of you and shouldn’t even be dating until he’s figured himself out.

And that’s because he’s giving you the biggest red flags he can give you. The red flags are telling you that he isn’t hurting and stringing along only one person (you), but that he’s dragging his new girlfriend into this mess as well.

He’s being completely irresponsible and doesn’t think that you and his new girlfriend deserve commitment and respect.

He just likes receiving female attention because it tells him that he’s in the center of the attention and that he can take his time to choose a woman who makes him feel the greatest.

Normally, there is nothing wrong with a guy carefully choosing a person to commit to as everyone has the right to choose a life partner. But you have to remember that this isn’t one of those normal cases where a guy likes two women at once and needs more time to decide who to be with. This guy is literally stringing two emotionally invested women along for his selfish gains.

He’s doing that because he’s underdeveloped and doesn’t understand why you’re both clinging to him like he’s a one in a million type of guy. He just knows that you love him, which further increases his ego, hinders his self-growth, and destroys the necessity to make a quick decision about who to be with.

If he were mature, he wouldn’t take forever to decide because he’d know it’s morally wrong and disrespectful to both of you. But because he doesn’t care about the principles of right or wrong and has no idea how his self-centered behavior hurts you, he adores the validation he receives and continues to talk and sleep with both of you.

He’s doing it even though he’s giving you and his girlfriend tons of false hope, fear, and anxiety.

So if you’re sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend, bear in mind that you’re his backup plan. You’re the woman he’ll fall back on if he gets dumped or does the dumping himself.

Why is he sleeping with me when he has a girlfriend?

There are numerous reasons as to why your ex-boyfriend is sleeping with you when he has a girlfriend. Most dumpees think it’s because their ex still has feelings for them, but this is seldom the case. Usually, dumpers have sex with their ex because of familiarity and sexual attraction.

The emotional attraction may be gone, but friendship, as well as sexual attraction and needs that come with it, remain. That’s why dumpers (usually guys) continue to sleep with their dumpees and act as if they’re close to them.

The truth though is that they aren’t emotionally close to them at all. It only seems that way because the sex is great and intimacy is still present. More often than not, dumpees realize they’re being used for sex the hard way when their ex stops taking their calls and starts dating someone else.

Another reason why your ex-boyfriend is sleeping with you is that your ex is still deciding what to do with you. The connection with his new girlfriend isn’t that great or developed yet, so he’s holding on to you just in case his relationship fails.

He’d rather be with someone than with no one.

It’s also possible that something’s wrong with your ex’s new relationship. Your ex and his girlfriend might be arguing or facing a lot of difficulties, so it’s possible that he calls you and has sex with you to distract himself from all the stress and negativity that he’s dealing with.

Perhaps the picture below will explain why a guy wants to sleep with you when he has a girlfriend.

Should I sleep with my ex-boyfriend if I want him back?

If you want your ex-boyfriend back, you have to remember that your ex has decided to be with his new girlfriend and that he wants to get to know that woman on a deep emotional level. He wants to know what she’s like and whether it’s possible to build a future with her.

And this is something you can’t interfere with. If you try to push your ex to commit to you when he’s thrilled to be with his new girlfriend and doubts your ability to make him happy, I guarantee that he’s not going to choose you. He’s going to choose the new woman because she doesn’t pressure him into being with him.

She probably doesn’t even know that the guy is two-timing her. She’s just enjoying the get-to-know-each-other phase and is letting things unfold naturally.

You, on the other hand, aren’t doing that. You’ve lost your romantic worth a while ago and turned into a backup plan – into someone your ex talks to and sleeps with when his girlfriend isn’t around.

So if you’re thinking of sleeping with your ex to get him back, bear in mind that your prompts or demands for attention, sex, or commitment are only going to make matters worse. They’re going to tell your ex that you want to be with him very badly and that it’s safer for him to commit to his new girlfriend because she doesn’t put pressure on him. She accepts him the way he is.

At least for now.

Whether you want your ex to choose you or not, you shouldn’t sleep with him anymore. It may please your ex sexually and turn you into a backup plan (a person your ex can contact if things go awry), but it doesn’t make your ex respect you and love you any more. It does the opposite because your ex knows that you’re always available to him.

Your ex will redevelop feelings for you only if his new relationship experiences difficulties and he sees that you respect yourself.

What if your ex starts sleeping with you months later?

If your ex has been with his girlfriend for a while now and then suddenly started to sleep with you, you have a sign that their relationship isn’t going to last much longer. It’s most likely going to break because respect in their relationship is nearly gone.

They just need to encounter one or two more incompatibility issues that will drive a wedge between them and separate them for good.

Whether you sleep with your ex or not, therefore, isn’t going to change the status of their relationship. You must remember that your ex didn’t start sleeping with you because you’re the best person he could sleep with. He started sleeping with you because his new relationship went through the infatuation phase and encountered enormous incompatibility issues.

In simpler terms, your ex remembered that he used to be close with you emotionally and sexually and decided to have sex with you because he wasn’t getting emotionally and sexually fulfilled in his relationship.

As a woman who wants her ex back, you don’t need to keep having sex with your ex now that their relationship is struggling. Instead, you should politely reject the invitation and patiently wait for them to break up for good. If you mean anything to your ex, you can be certain that your ex will contact you for more than just sex when they part ways.

Should I feel guilty for sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend?

First of all, a guy who’s sleeping with you when he’s still in a committed relationship is a cheater—and you’re supporting his cheating. You’re allowing him (not forcing him) to betray his new girlfriend, and you should probably feel guilty for that. You’re not respecting his girlfriend and neither is he.

You’re both still close to each other and aren’t processing the separation by ceasing communication for a while. For some reason, you’re pretending to be friends and getting in the way of each other’s moving-on process.

Although your ex-boyfriend is directly involved in this chaotic situation and has a responsibility to be loyal to his girlfriend, you need to know that you’re also morally responsible for doing the right thing. You’re well aware of the fact that he’s with someone new and that you should give their relationship space to branch out.

You should especially let them be if one of you still has feelings for each other because that makes it hard for your ex to focus on his new relationship.

Whatever the case may be, I strongly encourage you not to associate with a guy who has a girlfriend, a fiance, or a wife. You wouldn’t want the same to happen to you if you were dating someone you loved and cared about. You’d want the guy’s ex to accept that the relationship is over and expect her to give your relationship room to blossom.

Always remember that your ex and his new girlfriend must decide their own fate—and that meddling with their business is disrespectful to all parties, including yourself.

If your ex is cheating on his girlfriend with you, his relationship likely won’t succeed

I’d like to conclude this article by saying that your ex’s relationship likely won’t survive infidelity and the issues that result from it.

If your ex isn’t ready to fix his mistakes and adapt, the guy will most likely develop a “whatever happens-happens” mentality and because of it, force his girlfriend to express discontent for his lack of investment, affection, planning, or commitment. That’s when he’ll probably realize that they aren’t on the same page and that they are better off as friends or maybe even strangers.

Of course, there’s always a chance that your ex will learn from his cheating and grow as a person, but most cheaters, unfortunately, don’t regret their cheating enough to learn from their immoral behavior. They learn and improve only when they’re threatened with a breakup or something that affects their happiness and self-esteem.

So whatever happens, don’t think that your ex will have a fairy-tale-like relationship with someone he cheated on. Unless he undergoes a painful personal transformation, he won’t improve much if at all. He’ll probably stay the same and keep his cheating tendencies.

Are you sleeping with your ex-boyfriend who has a girlfriend? Are you hoping that your ex will choose you and be with you? Post your comment below.

Or alternatively, if you need help choosing the right course of action, go to our coaching page—and maybe we can help.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.