8 Reasons Why Your Ex Texts You After The Breakup

The reasons why your ex texts you after the breakup are of internal origin.

They have nothing to do with you and the person you were throughout the relationship with your ex—nor do they have anything to do with how you behave after the breakup.

As much as you’d like your ex to text you because of your amazing qualities, know that it likely won’t happen for a while.

It won’t happen for as long as your ex’s mentality and his or her perception of you remains the same.

Your ex first has to do one of the following:

1. Naturally process the breakup over a long period of time.
2. Voluntarily engage in some soul-searching activities.
3. Be forced to think about you due to some unpredictable situation.

When your ex texts you after the breakup, there’s a reason why your ex does it.

We can say that it has something to do with your ex’s post-breakup thoughts and emotions—which are either rational or intuitive.

These internal processes essentially reflect your ex’s mentality as well as his or her emotional state—and signify that something’s going on within your ex.

Something that is causing your ex to look for answers to his or her inquisitions.

So if you’re interested in learning about the reasons why your ex texts you (often out of the blue), this article will provide you with some insight.

1)Fear and anxiety

Your ex can communicate with you via texts, calls, videos, or even letters.

But no matter what channel of communication your ex chooses, something usually causes the dumper to contact the dumpee.

And that something is often fear and anxiety.

Painful emotions are very frequently incentivizing people to act and react.

They are the root of all evil and the cause of everything nice as they help or force people to behave in a certain way.

As for your ex, he or she is premised on the same idea.

When something happens to your ex and your ex becomes extremely anxious, he or she could think of you with a tinge of nostalgia and react to the separation.

Your ex could then instinctually text you and expect you to soothe his or her anxiety.

He or she wouldn’t just want to talk to you casually when he or she is feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. Your ex would absolutely need you to help him or her recover from whatever is causing him or her pain.

In other words, your ex would text you to make himself or herself feel better and steal your strength for his or her own benefit.

So whenever your ex appears anxious, regretful, and full of anxiety, your ex is likely having doubts and is afraid of moving on without you.

2)Guilt

Dumpers often send breadcrumbs and unintentionally mess with their dumpee’ heads.

They reach out for themselves when they feel guilty for dumping their dumpee and for behaving badly after the breakup.

So in a way, we can say that they contact the dumpees to check up on their emotional well-being.

But what they don’t realize is that their texts and calls are actually hurting their dumpee more than if they just stayed quiet and focused on themselves.

They don’t understand that breakups are harder for the dumpees than it is for them.

So until they change sides and experience what the breakup feels like on the receiving end, the 3 painful stages of no contact are something they don’t comprehend.

They instead think that the dumpee’s emotional state is a mirror of what they feel.

Unless, of course, the dumpee proves them otherwise by resorting to begging and pleading and making various post-breakup mistakes.

That’s why it’s necessary for you as a dumpee to portray strength and independence to stop your ex from ruining his or her image of you.

3)Familiarity

Some dumpers stay in contact with their dumpee out of familiarity.

They are basically so used to having the dumpee in their lives that they need their dumpee for happiness and support.

This is especially common in cases where the ex-couple’s romantic relationship was long-term and the couple spent the majority of their time with each other.

So if your ex continues talking to you like nothing happened, you’ve got one of the signs your ex might eventually come back.

That’s because he or she is still emotionally connected to you and finds you somewhat valuable.

4)Boredom and assistance

Although boredom isn’t one of the more common reasons why your ex texts you, it still deserves to be on this list.

Sometimes, the more independent and emotionally strong dumpers don’t reach out via text due to their emotions per se, but rather because of their thoughts.

So even though they very, very rarely contact their dumpees for little to no reason, they sometimes still do.

And when they do, it’s usually because they want or need something from their dumpee.

This can be anything from helping them out with their math homework to cleaning their car and taking care of their “other needs.”

5)Emotional difficulties

One of the better reasons why your ex texts you out of the blue could be that your ex is suffering from emotional difficulties.

Emotional difficulties can be anything that an ex-partner finds difficult to cope with.

Anything at all.

When your ex is struggling to keep himself or herself together, you will likely hear things such as, “I miss you” and similar hope-instilling messages.

Your ex could even text you when he or she is drunk and finds it difficult to control himself or herself.

Or perhaps your ex will text you when your ex is struggling with his or her new relationship and is desperate to connect with someone on a deeper emotional level.

So whatever you do, don’t fall for your ex’s “I miss yous” and “I still love yous.”

You know that your ex doesn’t miss you because of the person you are but rather because of the things that are happening to your ex.

Your ex basically misses your support and his or her life prior to the breakup.

Please understand that if your ex wanted you back after he or she has seen the good in you, your ex would hint it or openly say that he or she wants you back.

Your ex would take the initiative to act on emotions and make the job easier for you by laying his or her cards on the table.

So if your ex is struggling with emotional difficulties, let your ex deal with them himself or herself while you focus on yours.

The time will come when your ex either tells you that he or she wants you back or shows you that you’re not wanted.

6)To incite a reaction

One of the worst and less common reasons why your ex texts you after the breakup is to incite a reaction out of you.

This reaction can be:

• positive
• negative
• angry
• jealous
• envious

But whatever reaction your ex expects from you, he or she wants it for his or her own reasons.

Your ex could want:

• a positive reaction to alleviate guilt
• a negative response to confirm that breaking up with you was a good idea
• angry feedback to fight with you and feel stronger
• a jealous answer to validate his or her existence
• an envious reply to compete with you and see that you’re not doing better than him or her

So if your ex is immature and you have a feeling that your ex wants you to react to him or her, don’t do it.

Your ex is basically trying to make you act on instinct and use you for his o her own empowerment.

7)Friendship and karma

Some dumpers hate being regarded as the bad guys—the people who did the ugly deed.

That’s why they stay in touch and pretend that the breakup doesn’t bother them one bit.

They are basically so afraid of their ex’s bad judgment as well as others that they stay in touch and text on a regular basis.

But the moment their ex forgives them and they complete their mission of replenishing their karma, they immediately show their real intentions and pull back.

They stop texting their ex and maybe even start dating someone else—because, in their heads, they believe they did what they had to in order to “do the right thing.”

When the realization hits them, they no longer have to show respect and pretend to like the dumpee.

They can just run for the mountains like they’ve been meaning to since the beginning of the breakup.

So if your ex appears pretentious and you can’t find the reasons why your ex texts you, your ex could want friendship with you so that he or she can improve his or her bad conscience.

8)Unfinished business

The last reason why your ex texts you could be to discuss finances, mortgages, debts, kids, or anything you still have to discuss with your ex.

Your ex could even text you to get back at you for the mistakes you’ve made in the relationship with him or her.

So no matter what unfinished business your ex still has with you, there is something still binding your ex to you.

Something that your ex wants to get over with as quickly as possible.

When your ex says what he or she has to say, it’s possible that you won’t hear from your ex for a while.

Your ex will disappear and you won’t look for reasons why your ex texts you anymore.

You’ll instead wonder why he or she isn’t texting you instead.

Did you enjoy reading about the reasons why your ex texts you? Can you think of any better ones? Comment below and let me know.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.