My Ex Broke Up With Me Because Of Religious Differences

In my opinion, a religious differences breakup is the second most difficult type of breakup when it comes to reconnecting with an ex. The only breakup more difficult than a breakup caused by religion is when parents intervene and force couples to break up.

Such couples have it the worst because third parties put pressure on them and oftentimes cause them to grow cold, distant, or angry with each other.

If you broke up because of religious differences and you want to get back with your ex, know that the reason you broke up isn’t because of the differences themselves. All couples have differences.

It’s what attracts them to each other.

The reason you broke up is because of the deep-rooted beliefs towards religion and the expectations that you, your ex, or both have of each other. We’re talking about the assumptions that one must be more like the other.

These kinds of fixed beliefs and expectations leave very little room for individuality and personal growth and tend to cause power struggles in a relationship. They demand certain ways of thinking and behaving regardless of what the other person thinks, feels, and wants.

That’s why a religious difference breakup may be more complex and difficult than you think. I’d say it’s on par with the cultural difference breakup and other breakups caused by disagreements and arguments.

A religious difference breakup is no joke.

All breakups are difficult, of course, but this one’s unique in its own way because it makes you wonder if you should have abandoned some of your fundamental beliefs to fit your ex’s description of a suitable partner.

If abandoning your beliefs is what you think you should have done, let me tell you something very important. You should always be flexible and open-minded around your partner and be willing to compromise and adapt.

But you should never go to the extreme and sacrifice your own beliefs and happiness to appease your partner.

In a relationship, both people need to work hard to meet each other halfway. It may not always be easy, but compromise is necessary for every relationship.

It’s what strengthens a relationship and gives it direction.

A lack of compromise or one-sided demands and arguments, on the other hand, weaken it and cause one person to gain control over the other.

This unevenly distributes power in a relationship—and for the lack of better words, leaves the weaker link at the mercy of the stronger one.

As a person who got broken up with because of religious differences, you have to understand that religion is a conviction, often a taboo. It’s an emotional anchor that most people develop in their early childhood.

What does this mean?

It means that your ex’s opinion about religion has been formed and reinforced by a variety of positive and negative emotions. Most of the emotions that were anchored deep into your ex’s subconscious were created by your ex’s parents a long, long time ago when your ex was still a child.

That was when your ex formed his or her belief system, communication styles, attachment styles, fears, phobias, and so on.

The point I’m trying to make is that your ex’s beliefs have been with your ex for a very long time and that they most likely aren’t going anywhere. At least not until your ex deliberately or indeliberately finds a way to break the old patterns and starts to see things differently.

The chances of your ex breaking these patterns, unfortunately, aren’t very high. In fact, they are not high at all because your ex has most likely formed unhealthy opinions of you on top of that.

Your ex has detached from you and associated negative emotions to you because you don’t meet his or her relationship requirements.

In today’s article, we’ll talk about breaking up because of religion. We’ll talk about religious differences and what you should do if you got broken up with because of religion.

What’s a religious breakup?

A religious breakup is a breakup caused by c0nflicting beliefs and behaviors. It’s a breakup that occurs gradually just like any other breakup.

The only difference between a regular breakup and a religious breakup is that a religious breakup usually occurs much, much sooner.

Every religious breakup transpires at a different time, of course, but generally speaking, most of them end between 3-12 months.

When they occur really depends on the dumper’s patience and self-control. This means that if the dumper is somewhat patient, self-aware, and in control of his or her emotions, the dumper can prolong the breakup or in some cases, even avoid it.

But if the dumper lacks awareness and isn’t willing to compromise, then it goes without saying that the relationship can’t last very long.

Sooner than later, the dumper gets overwhelmed with the religious differences and starts to despise the dumpee’s mentality and demeanor. That’s when the dumper obtains all the power in the relationship and distances himself or herself from the unhealthy perception of the dumpee.

A religious breakup basically occurs when couples get out of the infatuation phase and show their true colors.

Breaking up with someone you love because of religion

Breaking up with someone you love is never easy. But when you’re breaking up because of religion or other incompatibility reasons, things can become even more difficult.

Not only do you and your partner think and behave differently, but you also refuse to compromise or lack the ability to compromise. This means that fundamentally, you’re two different people who aren’t able to accept each other’s religious differences and preferences.

Instead of cooperating and learning to live with each other’s conflicting beliefs, you disapprove of each other’s opinions and associate negative feelings toward those beliefs.

Maybe it wasn’t you who rejected your ex’s differences (especially if your ex had all the power in the relationship), but the person who left still convinced himself or herself that the relationship won’t work and that the best thing to do is to break up and meet someone more compatible.

I hate using the word “compatible” when it comes to religious breakups because many people think that compatibility is something people magically develop or are born with. But, in reality, compatibility is created with self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-investment.

I’d say that over 80% of compatibility is created by the work a person does on himself or herself prior to getting in a relationship. The other 20% is the compatibility a couple works on together.

In a religious breakup, the majority of incompatibilities consist of:

• different or high expectations
• poor relationship knowledge
• a lack of patience and self-control
• a lack of emotional strength to express wants and needs without attaching negativity to the other person
• the inability to accept the person as he or she is

This is why it doesn’t matter if you had a lot in common with your ex and if some of your core principles such as integrity, respect, trust, loyalty were the same. Fundamentally, beliefs-wise, you’re both different from each other—and will remain different until something or someone influential changes those beliefs.

Nobody knows when/if that will ever happen because beliefs don’t change on their own.

But if they do change, they’ll probably change when your ex:

1. Becomes self-aware.
2. Feels the want or need to change.
3. Actually starts changing.

More often than not, personal change requires a strong emotional incentive. An incentive strong enough to make the dumper reflect on his or her beliefs and choices.

It just so happens that the strongest emotional incentives are created by negative, painful, and shocking events. This means that your best bet at getting back together after a religious difference breakup is to wait for your ex to experience an emotional setback.

You’ve probably noticed that some exes come running back to their ex despite getting involved with other people. They come back despite trash-talking and insulting their ex.

This happens because such dumpers undergo something extremely painful and through pain and suffering, discard the negative image they’ve painted of their ex.

How to get back with your ex after a religious breakup?

The reason a religious difference breakup is so difficult is that multiple things (all of which are out of your control) need to change.

The first thing that needs to change is your ex’s interpretation of religion. Your ex needs to become open-minded and take his or her religion a bit less fervently.

I’m not saying your ex needs to abolish all of his/her beliefs and change completely. That probably won’t ever happen.

But your ex does have to educate himself or himself on interfaith relationships and relationships where couples get along despite religious differences and disagreements.

Secondly, your ex must also become more accepting of people who don’t believe in the same things as your ex. Your ex must realize that people who have different opinions about religion aren’t bad people.

They’re just people who have grown up with different “teachers.”

Lastly, your ex needs to change his or her perception of you (the way your ex thinks of you and feels about you). This is absolutely necessary or your ex will never develop respect for you and fall back in love with you.

Your ex will just keep moving on and look for someone with similar religious beliefs.

So if your ex chose religion over love and you want to know how to get back with your ex, try to understand that the reconciliation is out of your control. You can’t control your ex interpretation of religion, acceptance of religious differences, and perception of you.

All you can do is agree with the breakup and give your ex space and time to reflect on the relationship.

If your ex does reflect and decides to lower his or her expectations of you, your ex will reach out to you and let you know. Your ex will do everything in his or her power to get back in touch with you and see if the relationship can be restored.

But if your ex doesn’t grow and improve and continues to think that you’re not right for him/her, then that’s okay too.

By following the indefinite no contact rule and leaving your ex alone, you’ll be able to get over your ex and eventually find someone much more accepting of you.

Here are a few simple tips on what to do when you break up because of religion.

Is there no other way to compromise religion after a breakup?

If your ex left you because he or she was unhappy with your religion, religious beliefs, or a lack of religion, it’s too late to compromise about anything. You could have compromised throughout the relationship when you had power and were respected as an equal.

But now that you got broken up with, you no longer have a say.

You can’t reason with your ex because if you try, you’ll disrespect your ex’s premeditated decision and anger your ex.

For that reason, it’s much better that you start no contact or stay in no contact if you’ve already started it.

I (nor any other person on this planet) can’t tell you if your ex will change his or her mind about you during no contact, but I can tell you that leaving your ex alone is the best thing you can do.

It’s best for your space-deprived ex and best for your broken heart. Give no contact a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

I suggest that you start with a 30-day no contact rule and get through the storm. But when the 30 days are up, extend the no contact indefinitely and try your hardest to let go of hope.

Letting go of a person who doesn’t fight for love is always the right choice. Remember that when you’re wondering if you should hold on to your ex or move on.

I hope this article has helped you understand the magnitude of a breakup caused by religion. If it did, comment below and let me know what you think.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.