Let Him Come To You After A Breakup

Let him come to you after a breakup. This is the mantra of many broken-hearted dumpees who are struggling after the breakup.

Who can blame them when their dumpers act irrational, impulsive, and completely disrespectful?

My guess is no one, and that’s why I sympathize with the dumpees wholeheartedly. As a matter of fact, I completely agree with the “let him come to you after a breakup” concept—as it’s the best method for reconciliation.

Dumpees are at a huge disadvantage when their exes abandon them. They have anxiety, fears, self-esteem difficulties, emotional setbacks, and many other issues to deal with.

That’s why they shouldn’t chase after their ex, hoping the dumper will see the good in them. They shouldn’t even talk to the dumpers and give them the significance they don’t deserve.

Dumpees should instead practice self-love and seek professional help if they need to. Furthermore, they should do everything that promotes their recovery and let their ex come to them if that’s what they want.

But under no circumstances should they attempt to reason with their ex and talk their way back into a relationship. They shouldn’t ever attempt to reconcile until they are okay with another rejection.

It might take some people half a year and others 2 or 3 years to reach this state of detachment. It really depends on how much work they’ve done on themselves.

And the same goes for you.

If you’re thinking of breaking no contact and sweet talk your ex into getting back together with you, think twice. You will likely only end up reopening your wounds and push your ex away for good.

So instead of doing that, avoid failure by letting him come to you after the breakup. It’s the best approach you can possibly take.

In this article, we’ll discuss why you should let your ex come to you and not vice versa.

Let him come to you after a breakup

Many dumpees are, unfortunately, forced to adopt a more reliable set of beliefs only after they’ve tried begging and pleading and other self-degrading deeds.

They basically realize they’ve exhausted all options and that they must now let their ex come to them.

It’s saddening that some dumpees annoy their dumpers for so long, they end up forcing their exes to act on impulse. And when they do, dumpers then block their dumpees and hurt them a lot.

If that’s what’s happened to you, don’t despair! The no contact rule can work twice or thrice even if you displayed some poor qualities.

But don’t become overly dependent on it. Keep your head up and remember to immediately get back on track with your post-breakup reconciliation plan. This implies that no matter how much you messed up, miss your ex and want him back, you must let him come to you after a breakup.

It may seem difficult if you’re doing no contact with kids involved. But in reality, limited contact is very similar to regular contact. It merely means that you should avoid pointless conversations and give your ex the freedom he wants.

In doing so, you will allow your ex to think about what he’s done and decide whether he wants you back.

But for him to come to a realization, your ex needs a lot of time to deal with his life without you in it.

So no matter what your story is, no contact is essential when it comes to letting him come to you. If you don’t follow this rule, your ex likely won’t learn to appreciate you.

He will instead think of you the way he did on the day of the breakup. Or maybe even worse.

If you don’t let him come to you after a breakup…

When you don’t let your ex come to you after a breakup, you could face your worst nightmare.

Your eagerness to connect with your ex could cause a ton of problems for you.

It could:

• make your ex unbelievably angry
• lower your significance in your ex’s eyes
• increase your ex’s ego
• enable your ex to use you and move on with ease
• destroy your confidence and self-esteem
• create trust issues
• lower your chances of your ex coming back in the future

These are the reasons why it may be in your best interest to avoid empowering your ex.

Not only that. Letting your ex come to you after a breakup will also prevent your ex from hurting you and allow you to recover.

It’s a win-win for you.

So do what it takes to assure your own safety and let your ex come to you after the breakup.

Reasons to let him come to you after a breakup

There are many reasons why you should let your ex come to you after a breakup. You probably just don’t see them right now because you’re in tremendous pain.

If you are, you need to look at your breakup objectively and discern that your ex isn’t worthy of your attention right now.

Your ex chose to leave, after all, so the best thing for you to do is to distance yourself and exude confidence. It’s your best and only option.

You don’t need to compete with your ex and engage in some kind of silly post-breakup war. Doing so would only show you’re taking your ex head-on.

That’s why all you should do is display high levels of self-esteem and show your ex you’re fine on your own.

You must do this even if you feel dead inside.

And if you’re not ready to do that yet and you’re looking for more reasons to let him come to you after a breakup, here they are.

Will he miss you if you let him come to you on his own terms?

The best way to make anyone miss you is to let him or her experience life without you. It’s the best formula for making anyone miss you—regardless of their association with you.

The only thing they need to miss you is space, time, and a human heart to care enough. Add that’s it.

So make use of the push-pull technique and your ex may come to you without you forcing him.

Moreover, leave him completely alone and he will have everything he needs to miss you. He’ll have space, privacy, friends, hobbies, activities, and his own life to look forward to.

I know it may seem odd that your ex needs to focus on himself to be able to miss you, but it’s true.

Strangely, the human mind prohibits us from admiring that which is in our daily lives. We sort of take for granted anything that’s given to us on a silver platter.

And the same goes for your ex. He couldn’t, can’t, and won’t appreciate you as long he has you within his arm’s reach.

So distance yourself and let him come to you when he’s ready.

The best way to do this is to distract yourself

There’s no better way to let your ex come to you after a breakup than to get incredibly active and forget that he left.

Just how your ex is taking care of his own emotional needs, you need to take care of yours. This means you must get busy and start enjoying your own hobbies even if it seems difficult right now.

When you do, you will no longer wait and hope your ex will come back to you. You will instead focus on that which truly matters; you and your life.

As a result, you will no longer concern yourself with questions, such as “How do I let him come to me after a breakup.” You simply won’t care as much as you used to and will quite frankly have better things to worry about.

And that’s why you must focus on recovering from the breakup. Your time on this planet is incredibly precious, after all.

So if your main priority is to get back with your ex, you need to stop obsessing first. Once you do, you should try to find the reasons behind the breakup and ruminate about them for a while.

Every breakup happens for a reason—and yours did too. That’s why you need to improve your shortcomings so that you don’t repeat your mistakes.

It’s one of the best ways to become happy with yourself even if your ex doesn’t come back. Maybe you will have improved so much you won’t even want your ex back.

Whatever happens, the truth is that letting your ex come to you after your breakup becomes a lot easier when you’re happy with yourself.

So work on improving your internal happiness.

Let him come to you no matter how long it takes!

Whether it takes months or years for your ex to come back to you, you need to wait patiently. There’s no rushing the process as you really can’t force your ex to develop feelings for you.

He has to first go out there, maybe date a few people—and then discern whether you’re a “worthy” partner.

It’s just the way breakups are. Dumpers need a strong incentive to come back. And them exploring the world without you often forces them to have an epiphany.

So allow your ex to do what he wants while you do what you want. Take this part seriously.

While you “wait” patiently, get rid of your ex’s gifts and reminders to make the anticipation easier for you.

I guarantee nothing feels better than losing the hope that your ex will return. I would describe the feeling as breaking free from something that’s been torturing you for many months.

So gather your courage and start enjoying your life again. Forget about how long it’s been since your breakup. Counting days will only keep you hooked.

This is especially true if you expect your ex to come back by a certain date, such as after 30 days of no contact.

So make it a priority to detach from your ex first—so that no matter what happens, you won’t be disappointed with the outcome.

Do this for yourself as it’s the least you deserve.

What if your ex wants you back? Should you let him come back to you?

We’ve talked about what you must do when your ex wants you back before. That’s why we will only mention the key points this time.

Basically, whether it’s been 1, 2, 3, or 6 months after the breakup, you should never let your ex stroll back into a relationship with you.

If you do, your ex probably won’t feel the attraction that he should feel toward you.

You must understand that your ex needs to feel as if you will dump him if he’s not serious about you. It’s a part of the attraction process.

I know it sounds manipulative, but your ex needs a bit of anxiety to be able to connect to you again.

And the only way for him to feel anxious is if you show him you’re not playing around.

You can do this by telling him what you want and need from him. Once you do, you need to stick to your word no matter what.

Only then will your ex feel the weight of your words and feel as if he’s being evaluated.

Under no circumstance should your ex think that you will always accept him back.

If he does, he could struggle to connect with you again and might leave shortly after.

Did you let him come to you after the breakup? Are you thinking of following the indefinite no contact rule? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.