Is My Ex Over Me Or Just Angry?

There’s an easy way to tell if your ex is over you or just angry. All you have to do is give your ex a few days to cool off and speak with you on his or her terms. If your ex reaches out, apologizes for being angry/saying mean things, wants to compromise, and resumes the relationship, your ex was just angry.

He or she felt victimized because of something you said or did and needed some time to stop seeing red and admit his or her mistakes.

But if your ex is over you, then your ex certainly won’t process the breakup in a matter of days. Your ex will need weeks or months of time before he or she contacts you and has a normal (likely non-romantic) conversation with you. You shouldn’t expect someone who is over you to talk to you unless that person wants companionship or relationship benefits such as sex.

Keep in mind that if your ex wants friendship, your ex won’t get close to you emotionally. He or she will talk about non-relationship matters, reject your invitations to see you in person, and act distant. Your ex will do everything to slow down the pace of your new friendship because your ex won’t be ready for an ordinary friendship that quickly.

Especially not if your ex sees that you have expectations of the relationship and that you’re still emotionally dependent on him or her.

So if you’re wondering if your ex is over you or angry, bear in mind that anger passes very quickly. It exists only for as long as your ex is hurt because anger is a self-defense mechanism that empowers your ex. There’s no need for it to continue existing after your ex has calmed down and returned to his or her normal self.

If your ex is over you, however, then your ex is probably resentful. He or she holds on to the negative memories of you and likes it because it helps your ex stay in control of the breakup and minimizes your chances of causing your ex pain.

Not all dumpers resent their exes, of course, but most dumpers do consider their exes to be responsible for the breakup. They feel their ex wasn’t good enough and that there’s a better-suited person for them out there.

This article will explain if your ex is over you or just angry.

How to tell if your ex is over you or just angry?

One way to tell your ex is angry and might return to you in a while is if your ex is still speaking with you and talking about the relationship. Discussions related to the relationship indicate that your ex still has feelings for you and is willing to talk things out with you.

Of course, this depends on how your ex is talking to you. If your ex is constantly blaming you and asking for space, your ex is probably just bitter and defensive. He or she feels overwhelmed with negative emotions and perceptions that won’t go away easily.

But if your ex is talking about the relationship objectively and isn’t blaming you for everything you did wrong throughout the relationship, then your ex is likely just looking for understanding and sympathy and will calm down and return to the relationship if you both lower your pride and communicate efficiently.

Sometimes it might be difficult to tell if your ex is angry or resentful, but here’s a tip that might help you. If your ex reached out to you (not the other way around) and then got frustrated because no resolution was found, your ex is or was likely just angry. Your ex was hoping to see you change your beliefs and feel your love and compassion.

People with resentments tend not to reach out to start fights. They prefer to stay away from their exes and focus on things that make them feel good. Only extremely immature dumpers pick fights because they don’t understand their emotions and value people.

Another way to tell that your ex is resentful is to pay attention to the kinds of things your ex is saying about you. if your ex is saying nasty things about you to your friends and family and has no intention of stopping, your ex is more than just venting.

Venting would be when your ex posts a few relationship quotes on Facebook and expresses his or her relationship expectations. While it’s true that an ex who’s over you could also post things on social media out of spite, it’s also true that he or she would probably do it only for a short while (for a day or two max).

The dumper wouldn’t have a reason to keep posting relationship matters because he or she would be over the breakup before the breakup was even initiated. Online, angry dumpers tend to look for understanding and care whereas dumpers who are over you don’t need to see that you care.

They want the opposite of that, which is to end the relationship permanently and see that their ex has accepted the breakup.

If you don’t accept the breakup and give them time to self-prioritize, you’ll pressure them and bring a bad reaction out of time. A reaction that will hurt your vulnerable heart and perhaps even affect your self-esteem.

So now that your ex has broken up with you and doesn’t seem to care about you, don’t obsess over the breakup too much. If your ex is merely angry, your ex’s anger will subside in a matter of days and force him or her to reach out for validation purposes (even if your ex is stubborn). But if your ex fell out of love and is over you, then your ex probably won’t reach out to you.

Your ex will instead continue to focus on his or her wants and needs and let you do the same.

With that being said, here are 5 ways to tell your ex is just angry.

If your ex is over you, however, then your ex is going to:

• bring up the past (things you did a long time ago)
• give sharp remarks
• get angry when you reach out
• use breakup excuses
• give hundreds of reasons why the relationship can’t work instead of a single one that it can
• avoid you like the plague
• lie to you
• appear elated
• talk to other people and date them

What to do if your ex is over you?

Whether your ex is over you or just angry, you need to give your ex time to enjoy his or her life after the breakup. You need to pull away otherwise your ex is going to find you extremely annoying and repulsive. Your ex may even do something cruel and make the reconciliation many times more difficult.

Since you still have feelings for your ex and want your ex back, you need to understand that resisting the breakup and refusing to give your ex space is not the right thing to do. Your ex is already angry and unhappy with your behavior or who you are as a person, so staying in denial and acting on impulse won’t fix that.

It’s only going to complicate things and ruin whatever respect your ex has left for you. This means you’ll have to be strong and let your ex come to you. You’ll have to let the universe take care of your ex because that way, you’ll be able to avoid making typical breakup mistakes dumpees make and make yourself look more appealing.

If you handle the breakup without begging, your ex won’t come running back right away of course, but you will increase your chances of getting back with your ex as you’ll give your ex what your ex needs to enjoy the post-breakup relief and elation.

You have to understand that dumpers (exes who leave) need to come back on their own initiative. They’ll never respect you and feel love for you if you run after them and try to crawl back into a relationship with them. To come back, they’ll have to see that you’re not chasing and that you respect yourself above everything else.

So if you want another chance with your ex now that your ex has run out of patience, focus on yourself rather than your ex. Do the things you like and spend time with people who want you in their lives because such things will prove you’re handling the breakup maturely and that your life will go on with or without your ex.

From now on, it’s about your self-esteem and self-respect. You mustn’t show interest in your ex anymore because interest shows you need your ex to feel validated and that your ex is one of the most important people to you.

And that’s not something your ex wants to see. You may think that loyalty and self-pity make your ex feel good, but they don’t. They just smother your ex and kill your ex’s chances of redeveloping feelings for you later down the road.

What if my ex keeps reaching out and blaming me?

If your ex is blaming you for the breakup and being angry with you, your ex is holding grudges and taking his or her frustrations out on you. You don’t need to (and shouldn’t) tolerate such behavior because it’s not going to make your ex see your worth and help you get back together.

Most angry dumpers who reach out to dumpees feel victimized and don’t want to fix anything. They just want to express themselves and disappear aferwards.

That’s why it may be better for you to ask your ex to be respectful and to communicate with you only when your ex is calm and when he or she has important things to share with you.

Your ex may not like that, but if you express yourself respectfully, your ex shouldn’t feel so threatened that your ex feels the need to get back at you.

So don’t just tolerate bitter behavior and hope that your ex will forgive you and love you.

People who use, abuse, and control others with anger don’t respect people. They just do what’s best for them because it gives them power and boosts their ego. When they have enough power, they tend to stop looking for it, get bored, and find someone else to bother.

You don’t want to be the person your ex bothers. You want to let your ex deal with personal issues on his or her own. And the best way to do that is to ask your ex to stop reaching out (not just being angry with you).

Do you think your ex is over you or just angry. Let us know in the comments section below.

And if you’re looking for breakup coaching, take a look at our coaching services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Learn more about me or get in touch today.