I Ran Into My Ex And He Ignored Me

It’s quite common for dumpers to ignore their ex in public. Many dumpers feel uncomfortable and don’t know what to say, so they walk past their ex and pretend not to see their ex. They make themselves look busy and distracted and hope their ex doesn’t walk up to them and start a conversation.

Of course, not all dumpers ignore their exes. But those who feel bad for dumping their ex and those who haven’t spoken to their ex in a while tend to associate negative beliefs and feelings with their ex and enjoy their space and quiet.

They think life has gotten better since they left their ex and focused entirely on themselves because they were able to accomplish their goals and not worry about their ex’s wants and needs.

Dumpers are scared of conversing with their ex because they think their ex could say or do something they don’t want and aren’t ready for. Something like inviting them out and putting them in an uncomfortable situation. They’re afraid of confrontation and conversation, so they do everything in their power to avoid chatting.

In public, they look down or away, swipe back and forth on their phone, search through their handbag, clean their glasses, or do anything that keeps them busy while they’re walking away from their ex. This lowers their approach anxiety caused by overthinking and allows them to feel relieved once they get away from their ex.

We need to mention that avoidant dumpers feel anxious when they run into their ex. They fear that something out of their comfort zone may occur to them and make them lose control. To deal with anxiety, they often choose not to deal with it at all.

Running away from it feels easier than confronting their fears. That’s why they ignore their ex when their ex locks eyes with them and says hello. To their ex, they appear super rude even though they’re just cowards who don’t know what to say and do.

They’re scared of talking to a person they left, hurt, and possibly even replaced with someone else.

They’d prefer not to be reminded of their selfish behavior and relive the feelings of guilt and shame. If possible, they’d rather avoid speaking to their ex and act like their ex doesn’t exist. This keeps their problems in the past and lets them focus on the present.

So if you ran into your ex and he ignored you, know that your ex is scared of confronting his fears. He chose to deal with his unwanted feelings simply by ignoring them and hoping they go away. Eventually, they did go away (because he ran away from you).

But they’ll likely reappear the next time he sees you. This means he’ll keep running away until he’s stopped feeling repulsed or angry and stopped thinking you could hurt him or make him uncomfortable. 

Both men and women ignore their exes. Some do it publicly and some online or via phone. Ignoring hasn’t been invented this century. It’s been happening since forever. The only difference is that before the rise of technology, people had fewer ways to get ignored.

They could only ignore letters or run into each other in person and get ignored in person.

Anyway, if an ex ignores you, it could be because you have certain expectations of him or because he thinks you have expectations. Either way, he feels trapped and thinks the safest thing to do is to ignore the problem and make it go away.

He deals with uncomfortable and unwanted feelings by reacting to them rather than doing what’s necessary to resolve them.

In this post, we discuss why your ex ignored you when you ran into him and what you should do when you see your ex.

Why does my ex ignore me when I run into him?

Your ex ignores you for a very simple reason. He doesn’t feel comfortable and ready to talk to you. He doesn’t even want to say hi and then go about his day because there’s a risk that his greeting would be misinterpreted and seen as a desire to talk and be friends.

The guy doesn’t want to get into a situation where you could ask for a favor or ask him out and be forced to reject you. One rejection was hard enough for him (conscience-wise), so he doesn’t want to do it again. He wants to avoid it by keeping his physical distance from you and continuing to wait things out.

The thought of speaking to you frightens him and triggers his avoidant tendencies. It shows who he is as a person and how he deals with situations he isn’t mature enough to handle. Currently, he doesn’t have the mental strength and moral values to greet you and acknowledge your presence.

A guy who ignores you when you run into him doesn’t have the willpower and skills to deal with difficult thoughts and emotions. He lacks control over that part of his life, so he hides from unwanted emotions and hopes that you don’t run after him.

If you stop him by force and talk to him, he probably won’t ignore you, but he won’t be too happy to talk to you. He might smile and open up a lot, but he likely won’t stay in touch afterward. As soon as you part ways, he’ll go back to his unreceptive self and ignore you the next time he sees you.

So if you want to know why your ex ignores you in person, bear in mind that it’s got something to do with his perception of you. The guy has a negative view of you and the relationship and fears that talking to you would bring out his repressed emotions.

His lack of emotional maturity and ability to deal with pressure don’t let him respond in conversation-friendly ways. They actually show his true personality and bring out his worst traits. Sadly, his worst traits include treating you like a nobody and pretending he doesn’t see you.

Your ex’s traits reveal that your ex has cut off the past and doesn’t even want to say hello. A hello from him would show that he’s capable of conversing and give the impression that he might want to be friends.

And that’s a risk he’s not willing to take. 

Friendship with you would pressure the guy and make him focus on you when all he wants is to focus on himself. His life after the breakup has been very relaxing. He’s been feeling free and relieved and probably engaged in new and old hobbies.

Talking to you could stop his happiness streak and force him to reflect on his behavior and actions. It could make him feel guilty for enjoying his life while you’ve been struggling to find joy in simple things. 

Remember that your ex avoids you like the plague because that’s who he is inside, not who you are. Due to fears of confrontation and the unknown, he made a split decision to act busy and keep you at a safe distance.

He didn’t ignore you because you’re a bad person but because he lacked the courage to look you in the eyes and acknowledge that he hurt you and that you may still want something from him.

The guy prefers to take the easiest, most risk-free roads in life. Sadly, these roads are often immoral and prevent him from growing as an individual. They make him stay afraid of the people he disappointed by cutting them out of his life. 

I wouldn’t expect someone like that to change. Dumpers who are scared of saying hello to their ex tend to listen to their fears more than their version of morals and desires to improve. They change only when they identify their avoidant tendencies and feel a strong need to break their unhealthy patterns.

But for that to happen, they need a really good reason to stop being cowards. Usually, they need someone to reject them and tell them they’ve been avoiding confrontations and emotionally challenging situations.  

That sometimes forces them to think about their behaviors and makes them do something about them.

With that said, here’s why your ex ignored you when he ran into you.

You need to understand that an ex who avoids you after running into you has no intention of engaging in (productive) conversation and getting back together. The dumper is perfectly comfortable with the way things are and is and is going to stay comfortable and away from you for a while.

It may be for weeks or months, maybe even forever. It’s impossible to predict because it depends on your ex’s way of processing difficult emotions and the lessons he learns in the future.

If he doesn’t see anything wrong with his behavior when he cools off and regains emotional control, he’ll keep avoiding you and other exes. He’ll justify his behavior by pointing out others’ faults and the way they make him feel.

He’ll do everything he can to avoid admitting that his behavior is directly related to his personality and emotional immaturity. 

You can tell that an avoidant person like that is going to keep thinking of himself as a victim and that it will take him a very long time to reflect and grow. Your opinion of him will probably change by the time he slides back into your DMs and tries to make things right.

What to do when you run into your ex?

When you run into your ex, you should first examine your ex’s interest in conversing with you. If your ex looks away, pretends to be busy, talks to someone else, and completely disregards your presence, you shouldn’t try to speak to your ex.

You should view your ex as a disinterested person who lacks the courage and/or interest to say hello. Instead of confronting your ex about his ignoring behavior, you should understand that your ex’s opinion of you remains unchanged and that talking to him won’t change a thing.

It will just make him more anxious, afraid, and disinterested. 

So don’t do anything drastic if you notice that your ex isn’t interested in catching up. Remember that your ex feels similarly to how he felt when he broke up with you and that it’s in your best interest to leave him alone and self-prioritize.  

Your ex’s eyes tell you a lot about his interest in speaking. So pay attention to what he’s paying attention to. If he notices you and looks like he wants to have a few quick words with you, he’ll probably approach you right away.

He won’t ignore you because he’ll want to see how you’re doing and feeling.

On the other hand, if he has no interest in talking to you, he’ll continue to avoid eye contact and look at people or things that distract him while you’re trying to approach him. That will tell you that he isn’t ready to talk or capable of talking and that he should be avoided.

As long as he’s scared of talking or feels uncomfortable, you should stay away from him and protect your heart otherwise his lack of interest and care could make you feel rejected and unworthy of love.

What if your ex doesn’t notice you?

If your ex doesn’t see you approaching him, then you have a decision to make. If you’re on speaking/good terms with your ex, you can casually say hi and keep moving.

But if you haven’t heard from your ex since the breakup/in ages or your ex seems to be dating someone else already, then it may be better for your health and well-being not to greet your ex and engage in conversation.

Greet and/or talk to your ex for a brief moment only when your ex holds eye contact and seems interested in talking. That’s when you can have a quick surface-level chat with your ex. Just make sure to avoid talking about topics and asking questions that make you learn things you’re not ready for.

All in all, assess your ex’s interest and your ability to converse with a person who broke up with you and destroyed your self-esteem. If you don’t feel ready to talk, you don’t have to. Your top priority is to heal and get your life back on track.

Always remember that you won’t impress your ex and make your ex want to be with you just by saying hello.

Did you run into your ex and get ignored? Share your experiences and views in the comments section below the post.

And if you want to talk to us about the reasons your ex ignored you, reach out to us via our private coaching service.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.