How To Tell Your Ex To Stop Texting You Nicely?

If you’re tired of texting your ex and you’re wondering how to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely, know that there’s a “simple” way to do that.

“All you have to do” is send your ex a text message that doesn’t hurt, depress, disrespect, dehumanize, anger, annoy, frustrate, infuriate or bring a bad reaction out of your ex.

Sounds simple, right?

Well, probably not…

Every person perceives rejections and deals with stressors differently. Some people take things personally and get hurt easily while others are emotionally stronger and more understanding.

Since you don’t know how your “please stop texting me” text will affect your ex, it’s always best to go with the option that gets you the results you want and avoids making you look bad.

That option is to reason with your ex just a tiny bit (not too much or it could make you pushover) and get the job done as quickly and as efficiently as possible.

Your happiness is on the line and always comes first, which is why telling your ex to stop texting you is necessary.

It’s especially necessary if you’re the dumpee (the person who got dumped) and suffer an emotional setback every time your ex reaches out.

You should only put you ex first if he or she is suffering and needs help getting over the breakup.

In this post, we’ll discuss how to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely by dividing the content into two parts. The first part is intended for dumpees and the second part, for dumpers.

How to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely – DUMPEE

If you’re a dumpee and you want your ex to stop texting you, you luckily don’t need to concern yourself about hurting your ex. You also needn’t fear that your ex will take revenge on you or do something to make the breakup very difficult for you.

Since your ex is the dumper, two things are as clear as day:

1. Your ex isn’t crying in bed because of the separation.
2. He or she doesn’t need you in his or her life as much as you do or did.

Your ex may want to stay in touch to friend zone you for breadcrumbing purposes, but other than that, your ex certainly doesn’t need you and won’t suffer from separation anxiety and post-breakup fears if you decide to cease all communication.

Your ex can’t suffer because he or she had detached from you long before the breakup.

But on the other hand, your ex could perceive your friendship refusal/abandonment in a negative way and feel sad, angry, or offended—and impulsively react to the rejection in whichever way he or she usually does.

Depending on how you convey information to your ex, how emotionally mature your ex is, and how your ex perceives it, starting no contact with your ex can be easy, difficult, or somewhere in between.

The level of difficulty depends on your ex’s perception and how you handle it.

For example, if you tell your ex to buzz off, your strong message could cause your ex to feel threatened. It could make your ex despise you and as a result, significantly lower your chances of having any kind of relationship with your ex in the future.

Even though you may not ever want your ex to ever be your friend or partner again, you should at the very least avoid stepping on your ex’s ego and triggering his or her self-defense mechanism.

You should do it for your ex as well as your own peace of mind.

So choose a kind, peaceful, and rational approach that doesn’t give your ex the impression that you’re attacking him or her. Follow the rules of no contact and do the right thing.

Here are a few rules to follow if you’re thinking of telling your ex to stop texting you.

Examples of how to tell your ex to stop contacting you nicely

If you’re certain you want your ex to stop talking to you, it’s time you wait for your ex to reach out to you and respond with one of the following responses. Feel free to change them a bit to make them suit your personality.

• Hi (ex). I know that you want to stay friends and keep in touch, but I just can’t do that right now. I’ve been trying very hard to focus on myself and learn from our relationship so that I make smarter decisions in my next relationship and life in general. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t reach out anymore so that I can continue on my path of self-discovery. If I change my mind about friendship in the future and you still want to be friends when that happens, maybe we can try to work something out. I wish you all the best. (This response is ideal for dumpees who have made big mistakes in the relationship and want their ex back).
• Hi (ex). I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while but I didn’t know how to start because I thought it would hurt you. I hope it doesn’t and that you don’t take it the wrong way, but I think it’s best that we don’t communicate for a while. I think we should both reflect on our relationship and the mistakes we’ve made so that we can learn from this ordeal and grow individually. Maybe we can be friends one day, but definitely not right now. Please reach out to me only in case of an emergency. (This assertive response is good for dumpees who have just started to receive breadcrumbs).
• Hi. It’s been nearly [x months] since we broke up and we still haven’t solved our differences. Do you think it’s possible for us to get some space from each other and see if we can be cordial to each other? I think we should stop communicating for at least a few months before we can be friends. Are you okay with that? I really think it will help us a lot, (name). (Use this approach if you and your ex keep arguing or if you haven’t solved your differences).
• Hi. I don’t want to be rude, but could you please stop reaching out to me. I’m trying very hard to leave the past behind me and look forward to new opportunities. I can’t do that if you keep talking to me because it reminds me of the past. Please reach out only if it’s urgent. (This breadcrumb response is ideal for dumpees who want their ex back and/or whose ex is insecure, or unsure about the breakup. It usually does one of two things: 1) makes the dumper anxious and forces him or her to come back or 2) tells the dumper that he or she needs to stop sending the dumpee vague, meaningless breadcrumbs and leave the dumpee alone.

How to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely – DUMPER

If you’re the dumper whose breakup occurred just a few months ago and you’re wondering how to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely, the first thing you need to understand is that your ex is texting you because he or she is under a lot of stress and anxiety.

Your ex is going through the most painful experience of his or her life and needs a lot of patience and understanding to pull through the breakup. I don’t know exactly how much sympathy and attention your ex needs because every person copes with stress differently.

But if your ex can’t stop messaging you and is begging you to talk to him or her, I encourage you not to block your ex or get angry with him or her.

Instead of doing something impulsive that would hurt your ex even more, simply put up with your ex’s behavior for a week or two. I can almost guarantee that your ex’s behavior will improve significantly over that time.

It probably won’t be the way you want it to be because breakups take time, but you’ll definitely notice some positive changes in your ex’s healing.

Keep in mind that breakups devastate many dumpees to the point where they can’t eat or sleep and perform their daily tasks. Some even need therapy to get their happy selves back.

Once you rationally as well as emotionally comprehend everything written in this chapter, get ready to learn how to respond to your dumpee ex calmly and compassionately.

Examples of how to tell your dumpee ex to stop contacting you nicely

There are two ways to respond to your ex.

The first way is meant for dumpees who are reaching out to you because they’re struggling with the breakup. As for the second one, it’s designed for dumpees who have accepted and healed from the breakup a while ago but haven’t stopped contacting you.

2 ways to tell your anxious ex to be strong without you:

• Hi (ex). I can’t even imagine how much my actions have hurt you. I wish I could take your pain away from you or at least share it with you. Please feel free to reach out whenever you’re struggling and I’ll gladly talk to you. (Use this approach if your breakup is fresh and your ex is still hurting from the separation).
• Hi. I feel so bad for putting you through this. Please don’t think that you’re a bad person. I just didn’t see a better way to deal with the negativity (or something troubling you) in our relationship. I’m here for you if you’re hurting and need an ear to listen. I wish you all the best. Stay healthy. (This is another compassionate approach you can use to help your ex regain his or her strength and independence).

If it’s been a while since you and your ex broke up and your dumpee ex insists on being friends, then there are a few kind ways to tell your ex to stop bothering you as well:

• Hi. I’ve noticed that you’ve been trying to be friends with me for the past x months. I really appreciate that. But, unfortunately, this isn’t something I can do at this moment. As you (probably) know, I’ve been working hard on reinventing myself ever since the breakup. I’m afraid that if we stay in touch and start talking again that I’ll fall back into my old routines and hurt you (again). I hope that you understand.
• Hi (name). I can’t stay friends with you because I’d like to move forward with my life. It’s nothing personal. I just think it’s best for us to go separate ways and fully process the breakup.
• Hi. I’d like to talk to you but I’m with someone new and he/she doesn’t like that I still talk to an ex. Please don’t reach out anymore. Stay safe.
• Hi. I’ve asked you not to contact me a few times now. Please respect my decision. Take care.

What to do if your ex keeps texting you?

If your ex keeps texting you even though you keep asking for space, you, unfortunately, don’t have a choice but to keep reminding your ex why space is important to you.

Do this until your ex takes a hint and leaves you alone.

Keep in mind that hurting your ex is wrong. But so is letting your ex walk all over you. To solve your problem, be firm, yet respectful at the same time. Be aware of your ex’s feelings and control your emotions.

Compassion is still a virtue.

Your ex won’t insist on staying friends with you forever. If he or she is the dumpee, your ex will stop reaching out once he or she has healed.

Your ex will regain self-esteem and self-respect and give up on you completely. It’s only a matter of time.

But if your ex is the dumper and your ex keeps on reaching out to you for no particular reason, then your ex probably isn’t reaching out to you because you make your ex anxious.

Something unrelated to you is making your ex anxious and causing him or her to rely on you for emotional support and validation. In that case, you have nothing to worry about.

Keep on sending your ex the replies suggested in this article and your ex will leave you alone forever sooner than later. Your ex just needs to find someone or something else to lean on.

Do you now understand how to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely? Do you have any questions or concerns? Post your comments below.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.