How To Go No Contact With Someone You Love?

If you were in a relationship with someone you loved and you’re no longer getting what you want or need from that person, it’s only natural to go no contact. You must immediately cease contact with your ex and guarantee the fastest and smoothest recovery for yourself.

Going no contact is no rocket science, but you must do it in a respectful and determined way. This doesn’t mean you must send your ex letters and explain why you don’t want to be friends. Explanations are likely to confuse your ex and cause unnecessary problems. It’s much better to just start no contact and tell your ex you want space when or if your ex reaches out.

If you haven’t heard from your ex in a while, your ex may not reach out at all. That would make starting no contact much easier for you. It would save you the effort of telling your ex you’re not ready for friendship and that you no longer want to communicate.

Most dumpees start no contact because their reachouts aren’t getting them the results they want. Their ex either ignores them or responds late with disinterest or anger. Such dumpees start no contact to avoid pestering their ex and raise their value in their ex’s eyes.

Other dumpees go no contact to stop their ex from messing with their head. They’re tired of being close to their ex, but not close enough to make their ex want to be with them. They have no choice but to start no contact and cut their ex off by force.

Regardless of which group of dumpees you belong to, you probably can’t interact with your ex when you still have feelings for your ex. You can’t see your ex happy and talk about seeing other people. The thought of your ex moving on without you scares you and gives you anxiety.

It reopens your wounds and makes you want your ex back more. You shouldn’t live like that. The only reasonable solution is to get some physical and emotional space from your ex and live in peace. In other words, do no contact.

Prove to yourself and the world that you can do what’s best for you even though you’re attached to your ex and unhappy with the breakup. Show that you want to recover mentally and emotionally and be the cheerful person you used to be.

Do this by overcoming your emotions and need to connect with your ex. As much as you want to stay close to your ex and prevent your ex from drifting further away, you can’t do that with willpower alone.

Your ex has to want it too. And until he or she does, you owe it to yourself and those who want the best for you to keep your ex away from you. You must get rid of your ex and create a life independent of your ex.

The sooner you do this, the sooner you can expect to feel better and move on with your life.

So if you want to know how to go no contact with someone you love, bear in mind that the less you think about it the better. Instead of overthinking and wondering what to say and not to say, simply consider no contact the solution to your suffering and start no contact immediately.

If you still talk to your ex every day, you can reach out yourself and tell your ex you need space to focus on yourself. And if you don’t talk very often or at all, you can simply start no contact without a word.

Your ex will probably appreciate it and give the broken relationship the space it needs to breathe and function independently.

Whether you’re thinking about doing no contact to reattract your ex or become rational and get over your ex, no contact is the way to go. Don’t settle for friendship with someone who can’t give you what you want. Friendships are for friends. And exes aren’t friends. They’re ex-lovers with feelings, expectations, and certain perceptions.

Dumpees think highly of their ex whereas dumpers usually think negatively. As long as they think and feel differently, they shouldn’t be anywhere near each other. They should be learning why the breakup happened and working on themselves individually.

When they detach and heal, they can be friends if they want to. It’s not recommended, of course, because friendship can bring back the dumpee’s repressed feelings and hopes for reconciliation.

It can also aggravate the dumper and bring out the worst in him or her.

It’s better for both parties to do no contact and let no contact help them process the separation. When they get the space they need, they can get a better view of the relationship and act accordingly.

Today, we talk about how to go no contact with someone you love and what you should do to make no contact successful.

How to go no contact with someone you love?

Going no contact with a former partner is very straightforward. It’s a simple but difficult process that requires the determination to heal and stay away from the dumper. It requires you to avoid the temptation to act on your emotions and reach out whenever you start having doubts.

Starting no contact is the easy part. Staying in it, on the other hand, is much harder. You can expect to have bad days when you feel anxious and want to break no contact.

Occasionally, you’ll feel tempted to ignore the rules of no contact and check up on your ex online, scroll through old conversations, look at pictures of your ex, and ask your mutual friends for updates on your ex.

You’ll want to know what your ex is doing and increase your hope and self-love. Unfortunately, your ex is the last thing you need to heal from heartbreak and feel better. When you make breakup mistakes, you’ll remind yourself of what you lost and feel worse as a result.

You won’t just feel worse, but you’ll also stay obsessed with your ex. That’s not how you should do no contact. The point of no contact is to wean off your ex and regain your purpose and strength.

You can accomplish this by staying true to the rules of no contact and avoiding thoughts and behaviors that make you doubt and break no contact. This means no checking up on your ex and learning things about your ex that you’re not ready to learn.

To avoid getting hurt and delaying your recovery, you should throw away photos of your ex, delete old conversations and your ex’s number, avoid places your ex frequents, return your ex’s stuff, and sort out things that tie you to your ex (kids, mortgage, living arrangements, shared items, etc.)

If you remove your ex from your life early, you’ll have a smaller chance of regressing emotionally and feeling tempted to contact your ex. So if you want to know how to start no contact with an ex who broke up with you, don’t think too much about what approach to choose.

Your ex already showed you he or she didn’t want to be with you, so you don’t have to worry about how your ex will take the news that you don’t want to stay in touch. You have every right to end the “friendship” permanently and let yourself heal once and for all.

Your ex will probably understand it. Most dumpers do because they need space themselves and want their ex to recover from the breakup. They know the breakup affected their ex deeply and that their ex deserves someone who loves them. Someone who shares their vision and reciprocates their feelings.

That’s why they often tell their ex they want him or her to find someone who makes him or her happy. They also want someone who fulfills them, so they show their ex what they want or don’t want.

Anyway, dumpees should start no contact as soon as they get broken up with. I know that it’s hard and that begging for another chance feels better, but things that feel better usually aren’t.

If you beg or stay in your ex’s life, hoping your ex will notice your worth, you’ll only waste your recovery and self-improvement time.

You’ll stay emotionally hooked on your ex and keep looking over your shoulder for weeks or months to come. Instead of letting go, you’ll keep your hopes up and dream about your ex wanting you back.

I’m not saying your ex won’t come back, but it’s safer for you to assume that he or she won’t. That way, you’ll be expectationless and better prepared to move forward with your life and reattract your ex if an opportunity presents itself.

So if you want to know how to go no contact with someone you love, simply go no contact without thinking. Don’t worry about how your ex thinks and feels. Even if your ex feels super bad for leaving you and wants to keep you around, your interests currently don’t align.

You want a romantic relationship whereas your ex wants friendship.

You can just start no contact and see if your ex responds to it. If you stayed close after the breakup, your ex will at some point likely reach out. He or she will try to figure out why you went silent and if you found something or someone better to get busy with.

That’s when you can tell your ex you’ve decided to focus on yourself and that you don’t want to be friends. Friendship is for people who want the same things from each other. It’s not for exes who want to move on with their life and find happiness without each other.

My advice is to worry more about yourself than the person who left you. Don’t block your ex, but do unfollow or mute your ex. Do what it takes to avoid updates on your ex’s new life.

Make an exception to blocking if you can’t stop stalking your ex’s profiles and getting hurt or if your ex doesn’t leave you alone.

Having said that, here’s how to go no contact with someone you love.

On the other hand, if you’re a dumper, you don’t just want to disappear from your ex. You want to sympathize and empathize with your ex and explain you both need some space to focus on yourselves. Don’t give your ex hope by saying that you might get back together in the future. Your ex will take your word for it and keep waiting for you to change your mind.

Instead, say you’re happy to support him or her when he or she feels anxious and wants answers but that neither of you is ready for friendship. Friendship is possible only when you get some space, see potential in friendship, and understand the dangers of being friends with exes.

How long should no contact be?

One of the most common mistakes dumpees make is thinking that no contact works on a timer. They read or hear optimistic things about no contact and assume their ex needs a pre-set amount of time to come back to his or her senses and want them back.

What such dumpees don’t understand is that their ex needs more than time to return. Time alone doesn’t bring back dumpers’ feelings. When feelings disappear, they need an incentive to fall back in love.

Typically, they need to learn their lessons the hard way and be forced to reflect.

If they receive texts, calls, or letters from their ex before they’ve rediscovered their ex’s romantic worth, they get overwhelmed because they see their ex has put them on a pedestal and learned nothing from the breakup.

In simple words, they consider their ex a hindrance and want more space from their ex.

So forget about the 30-day no contact rule and other limited types of no contact. If you’re giving no contact a try, do it for as long as you have expectations of your ex.

You shouldn’t even think about breaking no contact before you get over your ex or until your ex reaches out and expresses the wish to get back together.

No contact is indefinite. It ends when talking to your ex no longer hurts you and affects your healing. It’s different for every dumpee, but if you had a long-term relationship with your ex or if your relationship ended when you were the most infatuated, you should stay in no contact for more than half a year.

A year will probably go by when you finally feel like yourself again. That’s when you’ll think differently of your ex and might not even want to end no contact. You might realize that your ex has hurt you enough and that you just want to stay happy and not get heartbroken again.

I can’t predict the future, but if you handle the breakup properly and avoid breaking no contact, you probably won’t care about the length of no contact and what you should do to impress your ex. You’ll worry about more important things. Things that guarantee your health and happiness.

For now, just keep in mind that breaking no contact is not an option and that you must stay committed to it whether you want your ex back or yourself back. You can decide what to do about your ex when your ex no longer has power over you and dictates how you think and feel.

Did you learn how to go no contact with someone you love? Share your discoveries and questions below the post.

However, if you want to talk with a breakup coach about no contact or other breakup-related matters, check out our coaching services. We offer several methods of communication.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.