How Does A Narcissist React To No Contact?

A narcissist can react to no contact in a myriad of ways. He can get unaffected, extremely affected, angry, mean, vengeful, depressed, or manipulative and do whatever it takes to resist no contact and get validated. He can be your worst enemy or someone you’ll never hear from again.

For example, if you left him, he can feel like you have too much power and control over him and show you that he doesn’t like being at your mercy. But if he left you, he can either not care the slightest about your feelings or feel that you’re getting away without punishment and that he needs to do something about it.

Something that hurts you and brings a reaction out of you.

A narcissist’s reaction strongly depends on his personality, how strong his feelings are, and how victimized he feels. The more betrayed he feels and the less control he has over his actions, the higher the chances that he’ll react strongly to no contact and try to get back in touch with you for self-validation purposes.

If he’s the angry type, he probably won’t like that you’re suddenly pulling away, so he could act erratic and out of control. He could try to make you feel sorry for going in no contact with him and refuse to accept the breakup and/or separation rules on your terms.

Before you claim that your ex is a narcissist, though you should first find out if your ex really is one. A lot of people react strongly to no contact, but not necessarily because they’re narcissistic. They react strongly because they don’t want to lose their ex and feel like they’re being pushed away and forgotten.

A covert narcissist may have some control over his narcissistic tendencies and may react more morally acceptable to no contact than a regular dumper. But an overt narcissist won’t just respond to no contact peacefully by reaching out and saying a few unharmful words to you.

He will get extremely frustrated with you, call you names, accuse you of things, spread rumors about you, and show you that he’s angry and unhappy.

There’s no telling what he’ll do as narcissists tend to cause more pain than their exes have caused them, but his behavior will likely depend on what side of the breakup he’s on.

If he got abandoned, he will likely react very strongly and badly to it. He will explode at you and make you regret crossing paths with him. But if he did the abandoning himself, then he could just walk away and not look back.

Not every narcissistic dumper reacts in anger and destruction.

Those narcissists who leave their exes typically have no expectations of their exes. They don’t care about their exes and just want to focus on their own things. This is especially true if they left their ex for someone else and enjoy their new life.

So if you’re trying to learn how a narcissist reacts to no contact, don’t always expect a narcissist to lose his marbles when you start no contact. He may not care about no contact if he dumped you and found better things or people to focus on.

This article will explain how a narcissist reacts to no contact. Keep in mind that the post describes male narcissists, but that it applies to female narcs as well.

What does no contact do to a narcissist?

A highly reactive narcissist who thrives on attention and validation could get severely affected by no contact. He could feel that you’re ignoring and punishing him and prepare some kind of vengeful and self-destructive response.

Depending on his maturity, of course, he could play jealousy games with you, pretend he’s finally happy without you, post mean things about you, call you incessantly, threaten you, humiliate you, and look for any kind of reaction that tells him you care and that he has the ability to control your emotions and actions.

A narcissist is an insecure control freak, so he could take the breakup personally and compete with you. It wouldn’t be unusual for him to start dating right away and show off his new partner. A person who likes him would raise his ego and show him that he can date other people and that you’re missing out on a great person like him.

You can expect a true narcissist to go on a quest to prove that he’s above others and that he’s a go-getter who can get anything he wants out of life. Part of the reason he can get things in life is that people mistake his confidence for arrogance. He appears to be intelligent at first, but when people get to know him, they notice that he seems overly confident – arrogant.

That’s when they start butting heads with him and understanding that his ego can’t handle criticism, let alone rejection.

You have to understand that a narcissist will react to no contact in ways that are the most convenient for him. If he’d been dying to break up with you and start a serious relationship with someone else, he’ll be glad that you’ve left him alone because he’ll finally have enough space to focus on his new partner.

But if you’re the one who dumped him and showed him you stopped valuing him, he could get extremely affected by it and refuse to do no contact with you. He could be in too much pain to be rational and leave you to your devices.

So once again, don’t assume that all narcissists will dislike no contact. Only those who had their self-esteem and egos crushed will resist it because they’ll be in too much pain to control themselves and let you go. They’ll try to keep you in their life (control you) and show you they need you more than you’d thought.

No contact, therefore, does bad things to a narcissist who got attached to you and had no intention of breaking up with you. It often brings out the very worst in him as he feels rejected, humiliated, and disrespected. To a narcissist who wants to get rid of you, however, no contact allows him to focus on himself and be happy.

It gives him space and lets him experience his life without you.

Here’s what no contact typically does to a narcissist dumpee and dumper.

How does a narcissist react to no contact?

A narcissist reacts to no contact in ways that are natural to him. He typically doesn’t have good self-control, so if he feels threatened, he projects his insecurities onto his ex-partner and blames her for the way he feels. To his ex, it feels like he’s picking a fight, but in reality, he just feels so unwanted and disrespected that he can’t regain his composure.

He feels too insecure and lacks too much control over his actions to just accept the uncomfortable situation and count his losses. He’s not used to resolving predicaments that way, so he does something extreme and impulsive that shocks people and makes them afraid for their happiness and safety.

It’s not difficult to identify a narcissist because a narcissist will normally burn all bridges with his exes. If he can’t be with them, he’ll make sure to ruin their lives and by doing so, destroy his respect and love for them. His thinking is that if he can’t be with someone or stay in touch with her that no one else should.

That means he could reach out to his exes’ new partners and try to warn them that their ex did them dirty and to be careful. Or he could post his ex’s photos online for revenge and show how little he cares about his actions and behavior.

He could do anything that makes the romantic relationship unfixable and friendship impossible.

Someone with excessive admiration for himself and a sense of pride feels that his behavior is justified and that his ex deserves to suffer for everything she did to him. It’s his belief that his rage is a harmless byproduct of his ex’s behavior and that he should follow his instincts and react in the most destructive ways.

The reason he thinks that way is because he wants to feel important. He wants proof that he can hurt others and make them play his game on his terms. Little does he know that he’s ruining his karma and that he’ll take his anger issues and insecurities into his next relationship.

He won’t change any time soon because a vengeful person feels victimized and thinks that there’s nothing wrong with his behavior. Narcissists think poorly of other people and highly of themselves, so they expect others to bend to their will and admit their flaws.

Oftentimes, they play power games with their partners or ex-partners and hurt them just to feel good about themselves.

Don’t worry about your ex reacting to no contact

If your ex is a narcissist, it doesn’t matter how your ex reacts to no contact. He probably won’t like that you’re moving on because he’ll feel that he’s losing control, but that doesn’t matter. No contact is meant for both of you to heal and improve.

It doesn’t matter what you two went through in the past and how long your relationship was. All of that is in the past, so focus on the present. Focus on things that give meaning to your life and try not to worry about how your ex will react when you go no contact and distance yourself from him.

He might do something nasty but that doesn’t mean you should live in fear and avoid going no contact with him. Even though there’s a chance that no contact will offend him, you must do what’s best for you and him in the long run. You don’t need to sacrifice your happiness for him and take care of his wants and needs because you don’t know if he can take it.

You just have to focus on recovering, improving, and moving on with your life so that you can forget about your ex and find happiness without him. Your ex would have done the same if he was in your shoes and craved alone time.

So try not to spend too much time thinking about your ex, doubting no contact, and feeling sorry for him. If he lacks self-awareness and tends to explode at you and others because of it, you need to be strong and pull away from him.

If he reaches out, tell him why you’ve decided that stopping all communication is what you need. And if he doesn’t say anything, just stay in no contact and heal from his narcissistic abuse. Sooner than later, you’ll stop caring about his reactions and just worry about yours.

Did you learn how a narcissist reacts to no contact? Did you get involved with a narcissist and you’re planning on going no contact with him? Share your thoughts below the post and we’ll get back to you soon.

And if you want to talk about your narcissistic ex with us directly and more quickly, visit our coaching page to learn about our services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.