He Dumped Me But Gets Jealous

Typically, dumpers don’t get jealous after breaking up with their ex. They don’t experience feelings of insecurity, fear, and worry because they feel safer and happier on their own or with someone else. The only times they get scared of their ex moving on quickly or quicker than them is when they have low self-esteem and consider the breakup competition.

In such cases, dumpers get jealous not because they love their ex and want their ex back but because they hate being the last ones to find inner peace and happiness. In their mind, they expected to find someone else to date and feel secure with quicker than the ex they rejected, abandoned, and considered unworthy of their time and affection.

They considered their ex inferior, so they believed their ex would take longer to process the breakup and be less fortunate, happy, and in control of his or her life than them.

When they learn their prediction was wrong, they take their ex’s circumstances and ability to move on personally and exude low confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes they stay silent and feel jealous without anyone’s knowing whereas other times, they contact their ex and ask their ex about his or her newfound happiness and success.

The most insecure and immature dumpers even play jealousy games and try to make their ex feel insecure and react negatively. A negative reaction assures them their ex hasn’t moved on yet and empowers them.

Anyway, a guy who gets jealous after he dumped you repeatedly compares himself to you and doesn’t believe in himself. His crumbling self-esteem doesn’t let anyone (especially you – his ex) do better in life and be happier than him.

If he sees you thrive, he thinks he didn’t leave a void in your chest and that something or someone must have been able to replace him very quickly. He assumes your life is better because of his departure, and doesn’t like it. He expected you to cry and stay miserable, but instead, you picked yourself back up and showed him he wasn’t worth crying over.

This triggered his insecurities and made him want your recognition more than ever.

In relationships, jealousy indicates love and possessiveness, but after the breakup, all it shows is possessiveness and an inability to accept the turn of events. It shows that the dumper wasted his head start and struggled to create the kind of life the dumpee had created despite being dealt a bad hand.

In the dumper’s eyes, the dumpee shouldn’t move on, improve his or her self-esteem, and find happiness and a replacement quicker than the dumper. It shouldn’t happen because the dumper is over the relationship and may even have someone else lined up.

So when an insecure dumper sees that the dumpee is unaffected by the breakup, he can’t help but take his ex’s increase in health, happiness, wealth, or confidence personally and get jealous.

Jealousy shows that he feels inferior and that he doesn’t want to feel that way any longer. He wants to think that his ex was the problem and that his life has gotten better since he left the relationship.

So if he dumped you but gets jealous when your actions show that you’re moving on, bear in mind that your ex is secretly competing with you. Your ex is probably immature and may have an inferiority complex or extremely low self-esteem.

No matter what your ex has, he gets jealous because he feels threatened and expects you to move on and find happiness slower than him.

In this post, we discuss why he dumped you but gets jealous.

Why is my ex jealous when he dumped me?

Jealousy is a feeling of insecurity. Dumpers feel it when they think their ex is doing better than them and realize they can’t beat their ex in the game of moving on.

They shouldn’t care how their ex is doing and should be happy for their ex, but because they’re envious and jealous in nature, they get jealous of a person they used to want the best for and display signs of insecurity.

In simple terms, they feel unhappy with who they are or what they’ve accomplished and show it to their ex and others. They don’t want to reveal how they feel but because their insecurities hurt them and compel them to show their worst colors, they do just that.

They directly complain to their ex and look for their ex’s validation or post positive things about their new life and pretend they’re doing better than their ex.

Most of the time, their ex picks up on what they’re trying to do and considers the dumper weak and manipulative. The realization that their ex is competing with them doesn’t instantly make the dumpee fall out of love, but it does help him or her see things clearly and detach faster.

If your ex is jealous when he dumped you, your ex doesn’t want you to do better than him. He might want you to do okay and be happy, but he doesn’t want you to be happier and more successful.

The moment he checks up on you and sees you’re doing better than he is, his insecurities kick in and tell him to destroy your happiness by force. Force entails any straightforward approach that pushes you down, brings a negative reaction out of you, and makes him look better than you.

Of course, not all exes act on their insecurities. Some just look scared and anxious. They have enough self-control not to give in to emotions and react instinctually. Such exes keep their insecurities to themselves as much as they can. They try not to put their weaknesses on display and make their problems their ex’s problems.

Other (more reactive) exes though, unfollow, delete, or block their ex and look for validation directly or indirectly from their ex. They hope their ex will be affected by their negative behavior and feed their insecurities.

Such dumpees usually don’t care about morality because they think their ex shouldn’t be doing better than them after everything their ex put them through. They think they’ve been victimized by their ex (most insecure dumpers do) and that they have the right to get back at their ex.

Their victim mentality and lack of maturity and humility prevent them from accepting their ex’s happiness and letting their ex do better than them.

That’s why they often get annoyed with their ex and make their ex’s life difficult on purpose. They do their best to disrupt their ex’s happiness (even if momentarily) and feel good about themselves.

The more they want to be in control of the breakup and their emotions and the more they crave validation, the more tempted they feel to play mind games with their ex.

You see, jealous dumpers have a hard time accepting that their ex doesn’t need them and may be doing better than them. Because of that, they take matters into their own hands and try to stop their ex from moving on and being happy.

Sometimes they even go back to their ex. They give the relationship another chance even though they don’t love their ex. Dumpers like that return because they crave their ex’s recognition more than they like their ex.

Needless to say, such relationships end within a few weeks as dumpers tend not to stay patient and loyal when they obtain recognition and stop feeling jealous. As soon as they obtain their ex’s love and validation, they feed their insecurities, heal, and stop obsessing over their ex.

With that said, here’s why he dumped you but gets jealous.

When a dumper guy gets jealous after the breakup but does nothing to reconcile, you need to remember that the dumper doesn’t want you back. He merely feels insecure and wants to stop feeling jealous. He’s prepared to do anything (even play dirty) to ease his insecurities and feel secure within himself.

You could notice your ex attacking you, trying to make you jealous back, controlling your thoughts, feelings and actions, and giving the impression that he’s trying to get back together. The less developed the dumper is, the more immoral and inconsiderate his behavior will be.

What should I do if he dumped me but gets jealous?

If you’re still in touch with your ex despite having no reasons (obligations) to communicate with your ex, you should cut your insecure ex off immediately. By cutting him off, you’ll stop him from messing with your brain and thinking that he’s jealous because he wants you back.

An ex who regrets dumping you won’t just feel jealous. He’ll also feel anxious and desperate to reconcile with you. This means he’ll crave your love and protection and be prepared to do anything to win your trust back. He definitely won’t try to make you jealous and hurt you.

Due to many regrets and a lot of pain, he’ll want you to trust him and believe him that he’s the right person for you.

So don’t think that an ex wants you back just because he displays signs of jealousy. Although jealousy indicates love in a relationship, it tends to indicate competitiveness after the breakup. It shows that the dumper isn’t entirely happy, comfortable, or secure with his life and that he craves external validation.

If you give him the validation he craves, he’ll feel fulfilled and leave you alone. He won’t feel the need to keep talking to you because he’ll get what he needs from you. That doesn’t mean you should reassure him you still love him and that you haven’t moved on.

If you do that, you’ll slow down your recovery process.

So what should you do if he dumped you but gets jealous of your new partner or success in general?

You should do whatever it takes to prevent your ex from breadcrumbing and confusing you.

If your ex appears jealous, remember that he made the decision to leave the relationship and that he’s responsible for his insecurities and discomfort. You have more important and more serious problems to address.

Problems such as separation anxiety and reconciliation hope. Your ex isn’t helping you with them, so you have to help yourself. Do that by distancing yourself from your ex and letting your ex be as jealous as he wants.

If your health, happiness, and romantic or non-romantic success bother him, he’ll have to stop checking up on you or learn to live with it. Either way, he’ll have to leave you alone and let you move on and be happy.

You don’t need to do anything if your ex is jealous. Your only job is to stay away from your ex (or keep your ex away if your ex reaches out) and focus on healing. When you’ve recovered and improved your self-esteem, you’ll stop caring about your ex’s feelings and whether it’s still possible to get back together.

So for now, focus on detaching and regaining your purpose in life. Everything will fall into place on its own if you just take care of yourself.

Did your ex dump you and get jealous? Why do you think your ex feels insecure? Comment below and let us know.

And if you want to talk to us about your ex’s jealousy, sign up for private coaching with us here.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.