The most difficult kind of breakup is when parents don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend.
It’s so difficult because the people who have been with you since the very beginning are sort of expected to be supportive of your romantic life and the decision you make in life. In a way, their validation provides assurance and acceptance while their rejection of your partner does the opposite.
If your parents don’t provide proper validation, love, and care from an early age, you may develop an anxious or an avoidant attachment style.
And if this carries into adulthood, you may suffer from a lack of love and develop your own relationship difficulties that otherwise wouldn’t be present.
Furthermore, if your family tries to force you to break up with your partner, you may find yourself in dilemma choosing between the people who have given you life and your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Forced breakup because of parents
If your parents don’t like your fiancé, fiancée, boyfriend or girlfriend, the situation is often really difficult and frequently—even hopeless. That’s because things may quickly escalate to the point where you have to decide between your family or your partner.
Now, if you have a family of your own already and you’re with the person you love, then the decision is a no-brainer. You will always choose your wife/husband and the kids over your parents’ judgment.
But if you’re still young (let’s say in your 20s), then your parents might have a final say. This, of course, depends on your cultural and religious background as well as the kind of relationship you have with your parents.
If your family is the one making the decisions about who you can date and be with, then, by all means, listen to them. They are the ones who will approve or disapprove of the person you’re seeing so there’s nothing you can do about that.
This kind of parenting regime is quite common in South Asia, but it nevertheless, also exists all around the world.
Moreover, it’s not just the South Asian families who sometimes control the fate of their children’s relationships and marriages. It’s American and European families too.
My parents want me to break up with my boyfriend/girlfriend
In some countries, parents make important relationship decisions so it would be wrong for me to advise you to go against your parents.
The most you can do is to try to reason with them and explain how your boyfriend or girlfriend is right for you and how he or she will contribute to the family.
Provided your partner is truly good for you and doesn’t hurt you or anything like that, then most of the time, families will accept the person you’re dating.
But if they don’t accept him or her, and your partner is actually a good human being, and you’ve been with him or her for a long time, then things could get ugly.
Since disapproving parents usually stand by their decision that you should break up with your partner, relationships like this almost never end well.
Whenever your parents pester you, they put unnecessary stress on the relationship and make your relationship with the person you love unbelievably hard.
The person you’re dating feels extremely unwelcome and probably hates your parents’ rejection and possibly even them. That’s why it’s really difficult for your partner to want to stay around your parents who hate his or her guts. It’s difficult even if your partner loves you to the moon and back.
I personally know how it feels to be rejected by parents because I’ve been there before. It doesn’t feel one bit exciting and I can say that I never want to be in that position again.
In fact, it’s so horrible I’d made the promise to myself that I’d rather be with someone whose family approves of me. In this way, I’d save myself the unnecessary drama and the desperation to win their approval.
Winning parents’ recognition
If you’re a reader of the blog, you likely already know that winning somebody’s recognition is the most degrading thing ever.
Everybody in this world deserves a fair chance based on their internal factors. People should be evaluated for the people they are, not the external fortunes they possess.
Sure, having a job is important when you want to get married and have children, but this alone doesn’t make a person truly valuable. Not to the right people anyway.
For example, you are not going to live your life happily with someone just because he or she is a doctor. On the contrary, you are likely going to get in a thousand arguments with this person because of various different incompatibilities and contradictory points of view.
Disapproving parents that want you to break up usually first see the person’s social and financial status. Everything else is hidden from view as no one but the couple can discern each other’s personalities—which should always be #1.
The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes. You deserve very little credit for being what you are.
Dale carnegie
Just how you deserve very little credit for who you are, so do your parents. They are who they are based on the society they grew up in, the parenting, their own mentality and many other factors that have very little to do with them.
People usually form an opinion of another person in mere seconds. They visually determine if the person is appealing, how his or her body language is and the way they speak. These 3 things we obtain very quickly, hence why the first impression matters so much.
Changing this first impression, however, takes time. If the person said something appalling in the first minute, for example, then we may despise the person so much that we will never give him a chance to redeem himself or herself.
The same can be said for parents that have formed their own beliefs about the person they want you to break up with.
How to get your parents to like your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Getting your parents to like your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard, but not impossibly hard. It really depends on how open your parents are and how well-versed are at persuading people.
Sometimes, you just need to sit them down and explain to them that the person you’re seeing is wife/husband material. You need to show them your commitment to the person and your utter dedication to take the relationship to the new level.
If explaining to them and showing them that you love your partner doesn’t get your parents to like your partner, on the other hand, then nothing will.
It can be difficult to talk to your parents if they are arrogant, ignorant and hard-headed. It can also be difficult to accomplish much when your parents hate your boyfriend or girlfriend for no apparent reason.
Some people are impossible to reason with so even if you try your very best and show them everything they need to see, they could still be against the relationship.
That’s because some people are controlled by a high ego and would rather take a butt-whipping than admit they were wrong.
Parents can also be so stubborn that nothing changes their mind. In such cases, your relationship may be completely hopeless even if you’ve done everything right from beginning to the end.
Some people just can’t be influenced.
Period.
Parents are forcing me to break up
Chances are your parents will never be happy until you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. No matter how much you beg them to be happy for your happiness, it might never happen.
In that case, you have a decision to make.
Sometimes keeping both your parents and your partner is not possible and it’s truly a horrible feeling.
You can either choose to be happy with the person who loves you and wants a relationship with you or to listen to your parents and let your partner go.
Although the middle ground – to keep your parents and your partner sounds like the best option, you may not be able to go down that route when your parents are giving you an ultimatum.
They expect you to do as they say and find someone more to their liking as if it’s them who are going to spend their life by your side.
They are nonetheless, always going to support you, but they won’t wake up next to you and get old with you.
Choosing between your partner and your parents
Casting your parents aside sounds like a horrible idea and most people don’t do it. They will instead argue with their parents for a while and eventually give up on the person they love.
Not only will they give up, but they will completely lose attraction because their parents will have ruined their relationship for them.
They will argue with their parents so much and so often that they will end up believing their parents in the end and might even end up hating their partner.
The dumper often becomes cold and distant as a result of a breakup. And the breakup caused by parents is no different. The dumper could act as if it’s the dumpee’s fault the breakup occurred and may appear very mean and disinterested in his or her (ex) partner.
So if you’re in a position where you need to decide between your partner and your parents, I wish I could help you decide. Unfortunately, all I can do is tell you how I see things.
My humble opinion
It’s not for me to decide for you, but I’d like to share my thoughts on this matter. Please note that my opinion may not apply to all regions of the world as I am from the western part of the globe.
So if parents had been deciding who their children marry in your family for generations and generations, then using my advice would be impossible and likely extremely impolite toward your family. Please keep that in mind.
My personal belief is that parents can be amazing guides as they almost always give good relationship advice. Moreover, I also think that they should always support their children’s romantic decisions as long as their children are content and of mature age.
Their personal experiences and wisdom can often help their children overcome many difficulties and make their lives many times easier.
Just how parents don’t always agree with us, we don’t always agree with them. We may not agree with their taste in music, food, favorite places in the world and other things that are a matter of preference.
But there are some things we should not oppose for the sake of their happiness and at the same time—our own.
We can’t disapprove of their religion, strong beliefs, visual appearance, new partner, choice of friends (unless they are harmful), etc. We must remember that their personal lives are theirs to live.
So just how you shouldn’t oppose your mature parents’ private life, neither should they disapprove of yours. Provided you’re an adult, you are more than capable of making your own decisions, hence why you were given a brain of your own.
If you commit a horrible crime, you will be defending yourself at the court. Your parents can’t serve their time in jail for you.
So if the love you feel toward your partner is genuine, then your parents should never have the power to try to force you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Personally, I think it’s very, very wrong for loving parents to go against their sons and daughters and take their happiness away just because they don’t get along or don’t like their partners.
To me, it seems very selfish and disrespectful toward you as a person who had made the decision to be with the person you love and invested emotionally in him or her.
Such parents are essentially telling you to detach from the person with whom you want to spend your life with and pretend as if he or she never mattered.
Just because they are parents and hold a special place in your heart doesn’t mean they have the right to abuse their power and force you to break up.
They can give you their opinion and tell you why your relationship may not be the healthiest for you. But apart from that, it’s not their concern.
I know I sound very biased and extremely against disapproving parents who want their sons and daughters to break up with their partners.
Perhaps that’s because my parents have always approved of the girls I’ve dated and entrusted me with the decision-making to take care of myself—which I did.
I may not have always chosen the best partners for me, but I had to learn that myself.
It’s as if you buy a box of candies and your parents tell you that the red candies taste bad and that you absolutely can’t have them. They make the assumption that their judgment is absolute and that they really don’t want you to think for yourself.
So even if you tasted the red candy before and you liked it, some parents might still insist that it’s not good because they don’t like it. They simply expect you to respect their dictatorship.
Everybody has their own way of thinking and this is merely my opinion.
The ultimate decision will always be up to you to make.
Are your parents forcing you to break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, fiancée, husband or wife? What are you going to do? Comment below.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
I’m nearly 21 years old and I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. I had lied about meeting him and my parents found out, they disapproved of him instantly especially because he was a different background than me. My parents focused on the stereotypes of his culture and never properly sat down to talk with him or get to know him. This made me want to hide my relationship which caused more tension between my parents and I. My mother would constantly talk to me about it and argue every time I went out with him, we eventually broke up after 6 months and then quickly got back together. We were secretly dating for months, it was hard but we made it work for us, however, my mother found out and gave me an ultimatum of him of them and we broke up. I have so much fear surrounding my parents, I love him and he is ready to give me the world, but the idea of my parents never accepting him and never having a happy life with both my partner and my parents kills me, since family is such a big thing in my culture. It hurts so much knowing how much i’ve actually hurt him, I just wish it didn’t end like this.
Hi Sarah.
It’s extremely difficult when the family gets involved. Family members tend to cause problems for the couple and oftentimes even push their son or daughter to dislike or hate his or her partner. I don’t think you should keep hiding forever, Sarah. You either want your parents to accept your boyfriend or let go of him and find someone they’ll welcome into the family.
Their opinion about him likely won’t change. I don’t think they’ll respect your opinion even if you wait 5 years.
Sincerely,
Zan
I’m 23 years old from a south Asian country and I dated my bf (26) for 2 years. He’s from a different county and naturally my parents didn’t approve of him because of that and the fact that he’s from a different religion. He was the best man I’ve ever met and our relationship was the happiest 2 years of my life. I’m got into medical school 4000+km away from our current situation. This plus Unsupporting parents have forced me to break up with him before I leave. We both were ready to get married and spend our lives together because the whole relationship was so easy and natural. It’s so painful and I don’t know how to cope without him.
I’m 27 and my bf is 27. I’m Hispanic and he is American (white) we been 7 months together , He’s mom is a counselor and he come from a wealthy family. However , she only met me once and she had tried so much to make him break up with me, we been kind leaving together and we are both completely independent. She blocks me from his phone, she made us canceled a Jamaica trip because she thinks because I’m Latina will kill him, she set up a date for him without he wanting it, she gets mad if a post pictures of myself even if there not inappropriate. she thinks is disrectpetfull if we go out and kiss. He is kinda scared because he docent want to ruin there relationship, but he does trully love me, but is just kinda complicated. I love him a lot but i’m felling overwhelmed by the situation. He is going to try to talk to her again to set boundaries.
Hi.
Your boyfriend’s mom is going to be hard to convince. I don’t want to stereotype, but people her age and contempt are hard to persuade.
Your boyfriend will have to stand up for you and tell his mom to stay out of his relationship. This will probably create tension between them, but it’s necessary if he wants you in his life.
Best regards,
Zan
Feelings are terrible. I have no one to share, found his blog so venting it here. I am a 26 year old woman with stable income. My boyfriend was 27 years in the same occupation with good income. 3 years of relationship, when parents were invited to meeting, my parents diapproved of the relation because some statements which were said by my boyfriends’ parents. They found it insulting though nothing direct was said.
When my boyfriend came to settle things, he lost his temper, that became the sole reason for the disapproval of relationship. Repeated efforts were done. But it failed. Like why?
Things have become bitter between us too. While all we had dreamt was to spend our life together doing good things.
I am clueless whose fault it is and why things went wrong.
I gave in. I quit.
Hi Ferishta.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Parents sometimes put “unnecessary” pressure on the relationship by imposing their thoughts and beliefs.
You and your boyfriend will both have to sternly tell your parents not to get involved if you want to give your relationship a fair chance.
Changing their opinion will be difficult, but you may be able to get them to stay out of it. It depends on the influence they have on your lives.
Kind regards,
Zan
Thanks for this soothing information, I am 37 and my fiance is 25, her parents – dad, rejected our marriage proposal but with no clear reason given to us. We have been together for 2 years, and when we decided to make our relation legal, that is when our love crumbled to pieces.
My girl’s dad is a soldier. I first approached her mother and informed her of our arrangements to get married, her mother accepted and she told me she would be giving me a reply after consulting from the girls father, because the two were not living together.
After consulting the father, he said he will be calling me and tell me his response, 2 months passed on without hearing anything from the girls father. And access to the girl was cut off from me because her father took her to the army barracks to leave with her, 2 days after my proposal to marry her.
The girl made an attempt to escape from the army barracks and her father beat her severely to the point of getting admitted to the hospital. After 1 week, the girl phoned me, and told me that, for the sake of my life, we should end this relationship, because her father was eager to do something nasty to me.
Right now I have too much hate for the father and mother
My mom doesn’t even wants me to date at all cos she believed dat am gonna lose my virginity. It’s been Soo hard for me ion understand my mum she doesn’t understand me. Very heart broken wen she decided to stop supporting me financially all because she caught me dating.😭😭
Why do writers have to be so narrow minded and shallow. Especially when you have written about the point I need to make. If your child is involved with someone who will ultimately destroy their lives yes you as a parent are obligated to do all you can to prevent that. We as parents don’t sign up to have all our love care worry and sacrifices obliterated by some jerk coming along with an agenda. My daughter was in love with a convicted felon then a narcissist. But you dont write about those possibilities which should never be overlooked. Caring doting loving parents don’t deserve the pergatory I am my husband are in because we tried to defend the amazing life our daughter was on track to have and is now destroyed because of predators that she was ignorant of.
Hi, well this article was refreshing and liked how it tackled both side of the coin.i was in the same situation. I am 30 and my ex was 31.my parents dint approve of him for many different reason different culture, he is still in uni and has another 2.5yrs to go,, financial status,, and many more.
They did convince me and we broke up. But I tell myself maybe it’s for the best.We were together for an 1yr.
I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 20. Technically we do not consider ourselves together because of my family. I come from a Muslim and Black background and my father was a Lieutenant Commander in the military. The guy I want to be with is currently 20 and enlisted in the Marines. He’s such an amazing guy and he makes me feel beautiful and see my worth and we both fill in the pieces of each other that the other is missing. I met him when I first started college through mutual friends and we’ve known each other for almost a year now. He’s so perfect for me but my parents refuse to let me be with him because of the fact that he is 1. enlisted and 2. comes from a different socioeconomic status and race than me. It seems so unfair that they can’t allow me to figure out what it is that I want in a person. This isn’t the first, second, or even third time they’ve broken up a relationship of mine before even meeting the person and I’ve become so resentful of them. They think by trying to end my love with him it will bring me closer to them and what they want for me but in reality it is just pushing me away from them. I want nothing but the free will to decide what I want/who I want as my lifelong partner and I only wish they could understand where I’m coming from.
My boyfriend of 6 months (he’s turning 18 tomorrow and I’m 17) was forced to break up with me by his parents because they didn’t think I was right for him and because I’m Catholic (he’s just Christian) and as far as I know we still think we’ll be able to get back together one day but now is not the time because as long as he lives in their house, he’s forbidden from dating me. Is there still hope?
I’m 25 and he’s 28. We’re gay couple and dating for 15 months. Things got serious and he wanted our relationship to be real without hiding. He out on his parents and told about our relationship. He’s so close with his family and their validation is really important to him. Unfortunately, his parents can’t accept that their son had a partner. His family is very traditional and think that out love is immoral. His parents want us to breakup and advised him that engaging in same sex relationship is abomination and mortal sin against God. Out of respect for his family that he dearly loved, he broke up with men and respect his decision. And now, I’m left devastated. Although I don’t have any anger towards his family because I know they’re just protecting their son.
Im 15 (probably a little too young) and my gf is the same age , right now were sophmores in high school. Weve been dating for a year, my mother is really controlling and toxic and its been messing with mental health and my relationship. Me and my girlfriend are very much in love with each other, whenever we argue we talk about it after and learn from it and get stronger, we always talk about the future and what we want to do in life and we love spending time with each other, were practically inseparable. Me and my gf are going through the same situation and its been really really hard for the both of us. When i asked her out i imeadietly told my parents ,but i didn’t get the reaction i was hoping for. My mother was upset and was crying , and my step dad was annoyed. My mother kept saying i was too young and said I needed to break up with her but i said no of course. This really hurt because i expected them to be supportive of my decision. As we were dating my mother met my gf and her mother, they exchanged numbers and it led to some problems. My mother would text her from time to time telling her mom that she didnt like us dating, and her mom didnt like it.That went on for a while and my mother just got more toxic and controlling , it caused me to have really bad anxiety and deppresson, this led to a scuicide attempt and a stay at a mental hospital .I still deal with depression and anxiety because of this and because of my mothers toxicity. Then in early july we got into our worst argument and we both said things we didnt mean so she cut off all communication between me and my gf , and sent me away. Im back home now and text her through insta on my ps4 using its Internet browser. My mother took my phone so i cant get help and gets mad every time i bring up my gf, she also threatened to send me away for good if i ever talk to her again , she blames my depression on my gf and thinks were only dating for sex. My gf’s family loved me a lot and it felt special because my family isnt too close , i really need advice or help , me and my gf just want things to go back to normal :((
Bro…..Just focus on career and explain your feelings to her family.
This is the exact condition with me….I m so shocked on being so relatable to uh….I too don’t know what to do….either to support our love or go with my parents decision for break up…
call the police
I’m 20 and he is 24. We cared,loved, understood,respected,listened and was there to support each other, we were a very good team even though we were different. He broke up with me yesterday since his family (Christian evangelical) did not approve of my faith (agnostic) ,mum’s faith(Buddhism,dad’s faith (agnostic), the fact I have not got a uni degree, my career to become a Personal Trainer(my ex is focusing as a Lawyer), the fact my parents are divorced and so on. They believe that if me and him were to get married our family would clash and his parents did not accept me for who I was. He parents did not want to see me after the first meeting ,disrespected my background which my ex did stick up for me and I explained to him that I wasn’t happy with how they judged me. In the end he said he didn’t want to upset his parents , they never let him and his siblings do what they love and always chose what they thought was ‘best’ for them. I could understand my bf was in the hardest position as he was in-between but he gave in to his family, I do not blame him but what I do believe is that if your child is capable of thinking of what’s good and what not then they should let them choose instead of pressuring, controlling,guilt tripping and all those things that should not be used. I told him to choose what makes him happy because parents want to see their children happy but with his parents I guess their’happiness’ is different to others. I hate to think this but sometimes if he really wanted to be with me he would have chosen me, at the same time he wants his parents to be happy so the choice is hard as he wants both but cannot grip onto it. Right now I am accepting my feelings, to try move on, remember what I have instead of what I don’t have, focus on myself and when the time comes that I am ready to trial and error to find that person I want in my life. I thought we would both be able to get through as I saw my ex as strong and optimistic like me but it did not turn out that way. For everyone who is experiencing a forced break up because of parents remind yourself that it happened for a reason and more opportunities will open for you. Just do you and make yourself happy 🙂 there’s so much in life to encounter
@samantha I feel you, i am 15 and my ex is 20 . We really love each other but he broke up because his father threatened him that he will abandon his mother and him if he will continue to date me. My bf really loves his mother but he lobes me too , i know he is really afraid and he once mentioned about suicide , i think that he needs me very much right now but he is not picking up my calls as he is afraid, i want to reach out to him and tell him that i am there for him and even his mother in their familie’s hard time , He dosent realise that he is abandoning me . to be honest i think of his parents as my own parents and i was planning on proposing him with a promise ring in march 2021. I dont know how to reach out to the person i truly love and with whom ,together, we had planned our future. * cries herself to sleep every night *
Hi….
I read ur thoughts…. I’m in the same position, whatever u said is directly implying on us. I’m 24 years.. he is 28 years… We met at work place for the first time. When he proposed I informed my mother, he is from another state and we have different language and all…. After my mom told let’s see, I have no objection, ur dad also might accept it. I got little strength even though my parents are from village, they worry more about society and people than their children, I got committed to relationship, only because I felt I will be happy with him for rest of my life, k got good one like that. I never mentioned him as my boyfriend, I always told he is my husband. He gave hopes like his parents won’t be against to it. He also told his mom, she also accepted completely. and he told he will convince my father. It’s been 2 and half years. I told my father 8 months back. He is like sometime ok, and sometimes not ok. His concerns are communication and region. Not caste or religion. Even though he accepted to talk with him for my happiness and told him to let their parents talk about it. His dad agreed before and talked with me 3 – 4 times tn video call. But when my dad was almost agreed to the relationship, his father went against to it. Saying u r already 28, u r elder son, I’m getting retired this year, u should marry in this year, and take care of ur brother’s post graduation after medecine. Ande he told he doesn’t have any problem with the girl(me), but his one and only concern is communication with my parents (as he think he is going to leave with my parents). He is still begging his dad to accept, we will be happy and all but he is not ready to listen. His dad told he is never going to accept. I asked my boyfriend to let’s stay as single with parents until they accept… But my boyfriend is like he can’t prolong it, since he is elder son and have responsibility. I I have not given up on u but if parents won’t agree, they they will be the reason for this breakup not me… And he wants me to get married to a better guy than him. Even though he hasn’t give up and asking his parents, but when he told he can’t wait for me, I don’t understand it…. How elder’s son responsibility affecting our relation and he is staying single…. Even many people as elder at home didn’t marry and took care of their parents and siblings…..
Please help me what I have to do…..
Im 19 years old and my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a half. something happened where i had to go to the hospital and my parents went to his house and told him to stay away from us. he has helped me so much and we planned to do a lot of things together that would benefit the both of us. my mom took my phone read thru all of my messages and came into my room and started yelling at me. i cant trust her with anything and shes mad that i never tell her anything. she was trying to convince me that he cheated on me and she always talks behind our backs. my dad wont give me my phone or car keys back until i cut him out of my life completely. him and i are in so much pain and we love each other so much. he wants me to move out with him but im not financially ready but i also want to leave my house. i deal with so much stress and anxiety and my boyfriend has always helped me.
You obviously are young and hold bitterness towards your parents. One thing you did not cover though is when parents disapprove because a boyfriend is emotionally abusive to their daughter. When he controls her every move, cuts her off from friends she has had forever, restricts her time with family , and makes all her decisions. This is when someone needs to step in for safety sake because that’s not him loving her. Parents usually have their child’s best interest at heart. They almost always want the best for their child. It’s bombastic of you to assume parents ask children to break up for selfish gains.
I’m 33 years and I have been dating a guy from 2018 …he came to seek permission and after fell sick was diagnosed with stage1 throat cancer automatically my mom started hating him and said he will eventually die and apart Fri. That he is poor and the social levels are different ,my mom told me to cut off communication and distance myself from him that he is just using me to get finance’s and also he will die, she has influenced my whole family against him and I opted to keep the relationship a secret. This year my boyfriend was diagnosed cancer free and wants to marry me I’m in a dilemma because my mom knows that I had broken up with him.
I love him and I love my family to
But i don’t know what to do because everyone including my friends have no faith
I’m 17 and currently in the most stressful situation when it comes down to who I am dating. My mom was never the most supportive of interracial dating and that made things hard for my current relationship. Since December 28th of 2019 I had been talking to this guy and eventually got into a relationship with him around the middle of January. This lasted until May 22 when my mom found out about it and took my phone and forced me to cut off all ties with him. She text him the day it happened and was fortunately very polite but told him he and I couldn’t be together due to “my focuse on school”. I tried to explain to her that he was an amazing person and wanted to meet her but she refused all those possibilities and still has my phone. I don’t know what to do because my heart is in such a hard place and I feel so much weight in my chest. He helped me become a better person and emotionally met the standards I had set for a guy. I just can’t seem to let this go. Personally I am a strong believer in Christ and I’ve prayed that the situation be healed. I feel that our relationship has potential and I feel right about being with this person. How am I supposed to go about this situation?
if you love him – you will NEVER, NEVER leave him, otherwise it’s not love. Everything happens for a reason. When you both go through this – you will be unstoppable. My advice to you and your boyfriend – stick together, wherever it takes.
Hi….
I’m 24 years.. he is 28 years… We met at work place for the first time. When he proposed I informed my mother, he is from another state and we have different language and all…. After my mom told let’s see, I have no objection, ur dad also might accept it. I got little strength even though my parents are from village, they worry more about society and people than their children, I got committed to relationship, only because I felt I will be happy with him for rest of my life, k got good one like that. I never mentioned him as my boyfriend, I always told he is my husband. He gave hopes like his parents won’t be against to it. He also told his mom, she also accepted completely. and he told he will convince my father. It’s been 2 and half years. I told my father 8 months back. He is like sometime ok, and sometimes not ok. His concerns are communication and region. Not caste or religion. Even though he accepted to talk with him for my happiness and told him to let their parents talk about it. His dad agreed before and talked with me 3 – 4 times tn video call. But when my dad was almost agreed to the relationship, his father went against to it. Saying u r already 28, u r elder son, I’m getting retired this year, u should marry in this year, and take care of ur brother’s post graduation after medecine. Ande he told he doesn’t have any problem with the girl(me), but his one and only concern is communication with my parents (as he think he is going to leave with my parents). He is still begging his dad to accept, we will be happy and all but he is not ready to listen. His dad told he is never going to accept. I asked my boyfriend to let’s stay as single with parents until they accept… But my boyfriend is like he can’t prolong it, since he is elder son and have responsibility. I I have not given up on u but if parents won’t agree, they they will be the reason for this breakup not me… And he wants me to get married to a better guy than him. Even though he hasn’t give up and asking his parents, but when he told he can’t wait for me, I don’t understand it…. How elder’s son responsibility affecting our relation and he is staying single…. Even many people as elder at home didn’t marry and took care of their parents and siblings…..
Please help me what I have to do…..
I’m probably a little too young for this but I just wanna say something. I’m 16 and I’m dating this guy who is a couple months younger than me. We have been together for 6 months now and me and him genuinely like each other. When my parents first found out about my relationship, it was a really tough time for the both of us. I’m Vietnamese and my family is very strict. They were also disappointed with the fact that I hid it from them for almost 2 months. They wanted us to stay just friends because they think “we’re too young.” Me and my boyfriend have been through a lot of problems in the relationship that were meant to tear us apart but we actually came out stronger and learned to love and appreciate each other a lot more because we both learned that no matter what, we will be there for each other. He is also Vietnamese like me but his parents are fine with it. Just recently, my parents got mad at me for talking to him so much that I sometimes forget about responsibilities I have (which I admit is really dumb of me and I’m trying to learn from it). They have a conversation with me and I cried and they got mad at me for crying because they thought I was acting like I’m 25 and about to get married. They don’t really seem to understand how me and my partner really feel for each other and I really want to tell them how we really do feel, but I’m not very good with words so I don’t know what to say and keep quiet. They have nothing against my boyfriend and think he is a good guy but I just wish there was some way I can get them to understand.
I 100% agree with your opinion. Nonethless, my learnings from personal experience is, I should’ve known how my parents are. Perhaps if I kept my head down and guarded my heart, I would not have been in such an unbearable situation. I pray the future is brighter.