Does He Still Love Me Even If He Is With Someone Else?

You should always judge people by what they show you, not tell you. Words can be misunderstood and manipulated, but actions cannot. Especially not if they repeat time after time and turn into patterns.

Actions reveal everything you need to know about a person, including how he thinks and feels about you.

If he pays no attention to you, shows no affection, and dates someone else, he obviously isn’t very interested in you. That’s probably an understatement as he’s in love with someone else and has no more space for you in his heart.

The guy can only love one person at a time. And that person is the one he spends the most time with, connects with, and plans his future with.

So no, he doesn’t love you if he’s with someone else. I wish I could say that he does and that he’s looking for ways to grow the connection with you, but his actions show otherwise. They prove he’s given up on the relationship and that he wants to get to know and bond with the other person.

That’s enough evidence to conclude his love for you has disappeared and that he has no desire to get back together.

I’m not saying he can’t ever love you again because dumpers can redevelop love when something goes wrong and hurts them. It’s just that his focus is on someone else right now. He feels empowered by his partner (especially if his relationship is new) and wants his new relationship to succeed.

You shouldn’t try to meddle with his relationship and force him to be with you because it could lead to anger and resentment. Your attempt to reconcile could guilt-trip your ex and suffocate him.

If you force your ex to love you and come back, your ex could not only respond impulsively and hurt you but also associate negative beliefs with you and focus harder on the new partner.

Your desperate behavior could make your ex get rid of any doubts he still had about his new partner and see you as someone who could never make him happy.

If you don’t want that to happen, you must avoid seeing the new person as a competition. Instead of trying to prove you deserve a spot in your ex’s heart, distance yourself from your ex and let them enjoy each other.

That may be precisely the opposite of what you want as you’re afraid of letting go of control and allowing them to get closer, but as a dumpee, you don’t have the right nor the power to break them up. You lost the right and ability to influence your ex with the breakup and must, therefore, give your ex space.

You must focus on yourself and show you’re not going to beg and plead for another chance.

If your ex still loved you, he would be with you, not with someone else. Your ex would wholeheartedly invest in you by:

• making time for you
• apologizing
• expressing gratitude and feelings (love)
• talking about regrets and the future
• asking you lots of questions
• taking you out on dates
• kissing, holding hands, and being intimate

He wouldn’t be looking for other romantic and/or sexual partners. Someone who loves you appreciates you inside out and wants to be your exclusive partner. He’s prepared to settle down and expects you to do the same.

Conversely, someone who doesn’t love you breaks up with you, sleeps with other people, confuses you, strings you along, and tells you things you want to hear. He doesn’t understand or care that his indecisiveness, strange behavior, and post-breakup friendship are destroying your confidence and making you depressed and miserable.

That’s why it’s not very hard to tell if he still loves you when he’s with someone else. All you have to do is ask yourself whether you’re a couple and if he’s doing his best not to hurt you.

Of course, pain is subjective, so we can’t say that someone who hurts you in a relationship doesn’t love you. But since you’re not in an exclusive relationship anymore, it’s evident that he doesn’t mind hurting you. He has already hurt you more than anything by breaking up with you.

He also doesn’t mind you moving on and meeting someone else. That’s all the proof you need that he isn’t trying to keep you for himself and that he doesn’t love you. A guy with genuine love would want to be the only person you think about and commit to.

He wouldn’t risk letting you move on and finding someone else.

In this article, we discuss whether a guy still loves you when he’s with someone else.

Does he still love me even if he is with someone else?

Deep inside, you already know that the guy doesn’t love you if he’s with someone else. He stopped valuing and loving you when he detached from you and left. And to further prove he didn’t love you, he even started dating someone else.

He went completely overboard and left no doubt that he fell out of love with you and in love with someone else.

As complicated as relationships can be, it’s not very hard to tell if someone still loves you. All you have to do is look at the guy’s actions and ask yourself if you’re still together. If you’re not together and the guy is with someone else, his love for you is as gone as it can be.

It’s been replaced with love for his new partner. His new partner is his new favorite person, which is the person he wants to invest in and commit to.

So don’t think that he still loves you even if he is with someone else. He can’t love you and someone else at the same time. Even if he’s still getting to know the new person, his attraction toward this person is much greater than his love for you.

That’s because he stopped seeing your worth and started feeling infatuated with the new person. He became obsessed with her and lost the desire to improve his love for you. This happened because the new person validated him and overloaded his brain with love hormones.

He couldn’t resist the love hormones and didn’t want to. He liked the feeling of being admired by someone new, so he let himself experience the sensation of falling in love.

You couldn’t and can’t stop him from wanting to feel empowered by this person. The guy needs to go through the new relationship stages first and see what his relationship is like. If he thinks it’s not a very good relationship, he’ll leave when the relationship requires him to put more into it than he gets out of it.

He might also come back to you.

I can’t say what his relationship will be like months later when they get to know each other and what he’ll do if things don’t meet his expectations, but I do know that you can’t wait in line for his relationship to end.

Since he’s not interested in being with you today, your only option is to accept the breakup and walk away with your head held high. You need to exude high self-esteem because if you act confident, you’ll feel confident too.

You’ll feel comfortable with who you are and make the best possible impression on your ex.

How you portray yourself is very important. It shows how you view yourself and how you can contribute to people’s lives. The more confident you are, the better you can take care of yourself and others.

So make sure to keep your composure and not bother your ex now that he’s dating someone else.

As difficult as it may be, try to accept that he doesn’t love you anymore and that he doesn’t deserve your love and attention. He deserves nothing but your absence.

Remind yourself that an ex doesn’t love you even if he says he does. He especially doesn’t love you if he’s seeing someone else already and planning his future with her.

His emotions, plans, lack of gratitude, and behavior show he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you anymore and that he won’t love you as long as he perceives you in the way that he does. He’ll stay in love with himself and his new partner.

With that said, here’s why your ex doesn’t love you if he’s with someone else already.

If a guy who leaves you doesn’t love you, then a guy who’s with someone else doesn’t love you times two. His priorities have changed, and so have his feelings and desire to work things out. He’s done talking about the relationship and looking for ways to bond with you.

All the guy wants is space and time to focus on his new connection. His new relationship is his top priority. So remove yourself from his life and let him do what he wants. Let him be in charge and start detaching.

Dumpees still love their ex when they’re with someone else

Dumpees are usually still in love with their ex after the breakup and fantasize about being with their ex. A new relationship doesn’t help them get over their ex. It just helps them distract themselves and feel a bit validated.

The person they actually want to be validated by is their ex as their ex rejected them and made it difficult for them to love themselves. Their ex triggered their fears and insecurities and made himself look more appealing than he was.

Because their dumper ex increased his worth in dumpees’ eyes, he made it extremely difficult for dumpees to successfully move on with the help of someone else. If dumpees try to move on with new romantic partners too quickly, they usually rebound and suffer even more as a result.

They miss their ex more than ever and think they’ll never find love again.

I want you to know that dumpees rebound much more often than dumpers. Dumpees aren’t ready for a new relationship because they need to deal with fear, anxiety, obsession, and attachment. Dumpers, on the other hand, have already dealt with such things.

They stopped loving their ex and can focus on someone else right away if they want to. Many dumpers do just that. They don’t waste any time because they remember they felt smothered and unhappy in their relationship and want to be free and have fun again.

They want to be single so they can feel elated on their own or with other people.

So if you’re expecting your dumper ex to have a difficult time moving on like you, know that dumpees and dumpers go through different post-breakup stages. Dumpers have already stopped feeling attached whereas dumpees haven’t and became more attached due to rejection.

They want their ex to validate them and help them reconcile and/or stop feeling worthless and hurt.

How to deal with your ex moving on with someone else?

One of the toughest things in life is watching the person you love fall in love with someone else. The thought of him expressing love to another person and reaching relationship milestones with her is gut-wrenching beyond belief.

It makes you wonder if your ex ever loved you and if you even knew her.

The shock from the abandonment and replacement makes you question your worth as a person (destroys your self-esteem) and forces you to crave validation, intimacy, and love.

Now that your ex is dating someone else, you need to remember that your ex doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He wants to be with the new person or keep looking for someone to connect with.

Even though your ex might not stay with the new person forever, the truth is he doesn’t want to be with you. And as difficult as the truth is, you need to accept it.

While you’re working on accepting it, you need to figure out why the breakup happened and who’s responsible for it. It can be tempting to take all the blame, but if you do that, you’ll probably plunge into depression and fail to make your ex responsible for his mistakes.

That means you’ll live with tons of regrets and have a hard time rebuilding your self-esteem.

So to get the most out of the breakup, reflect on the breakup and figure out how you contributed to the breakup and what your ex should have done to stay in love. Once you understand that you’re not solely responsible for the breakup, you’ll cut yourself some slack and find it easier to cope with the breakup.

You’ll understand you’re only human and that certain things (such as your ex’s thoughts and maturity) were out of your control.

Because your ex is dating someone else already, you need to avoid stalking and comparing yourself to the new person. Instead of looking for things the new person is better at and putting yourself down, convince yourself that you’re not competing and that your ex is eager to move on and be happy.

Your ex isn’t particularly concerned about your health and well-being. He thinks your emotions are your problem and that he has the right to be happy and move on immediately if he wants to.

Such a person can’t or doesn’t want to put himself in your shoes. He’s self-centered and will remain that way for quite some time.

The best you can do is go no contact and stay away from him. You shouldn’t know what he’s doing and who he’s with as healing requires you to shut your ex out of your life and focus on things and people that make you think positive thoughts and feel positive emotions.

You need to regain control of your life by getting your ex out of your mind as quickly as possible.

So let your ex be with whomever he wants to be and act any way he wants to act. His choices and behavior will show you what he’s like as a person—and aid you in moving on.

Do you think he still loves you even if he is with someone else? What is your definition of love? Share your thoughts in the comments area below and we’ll respond shortly.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.