Does He Miss Me During No Contact?

If you got dumped and went into no contact with your ex, you probably want to know if your ex misses you during no contact. You want to know if no contact is effective and worth staying in for weeks, months, or longer.

As a dumpee, you don’t know what your ex thinks and feels now that you’re not talking, so you’re curious to find out.

I’m here to help you learn more about the dumper’s thoughts and feelings; just keep in mind that you may not get the answers you’re looking for. Your ex probably doesn’t miss you much (or at all) if you just started no contact. He probably feels relieved and elated and wishes you’d left him alone (started no contact) sooner.

The guy doesn’t miss you (especially not romantically) because he’d been craving space for a long time. Now that he finally has it, he’s living in the moment, thinking about his new life rather than the life he left behind. That’s how it is for most dumpers.

They don’t become nostalgic when their ex goes into no contact with them and gives them the break they asked for. Instead, they appreciate the quiet and look forward to a new beginning. They miss their ex (right after the breakup) only when their ex cheated on them or did something that forced them to dump their ex.

Sometimes they also miss their ex when they’re stressed, anxious, or depressed. They become nostalgic and remember the times when their ex helped them with their problems and unwanted emotions.

So if you want to know if your ex misses you during no contact, this mainly depends on your ex’s mental health, predicaments, and reasons for leaving. If your ex left you due to a loss of feelings caused by neglect, recurrent arguments, or resentment, your ex probably doesn’t miss you. He doesn’t have a reason to miss you because your ex is happy with his decision to leave and his newfound freedom.

But if your ex left because of depression and emotional overwhelm, then your ex probably misses you when he encounters problems he used to get your help with. He remembers you used to be there for him and that he lost a partner and a friend at the same time.

Whether your ex misses you during no contact depends on his personality, way of solving problems, self-esteem, what he does after the breakup, and his support system. If he has no one to talk to and spend time with, he could get lonely and compare his social life to life with you. That could make him nostalgic and miss the non-romantic times from the past.

You mustn’t assume all nostalgia is romantic nostalgia. An ex can miss you as a friend as well. He can remember you used to do fun things together and wish he could do fun things again with you.

To miss you as a friend, something must be missing in his life. Something like a good friend and an active social life. It’s unlikely that your ex will miss the friendship when he has a busy social life. He’ll likely miss you when he’s home alone or out drunk, contemplating his actions and feeling guilty.

Some dumpers become super nostalgic when they’re drunk. They start wondering how their ex is doing and regret saying or doing mean and selfish things. That’s when they reach out to their ex, apologize for hurting their ex, share what they’ve been up to, and ask their ex to be friends.

To want a romantic relationship with an ex, they must fail in some important way and think long and hard about their mistakes and feelings. A lonely evening at home or a drunk night out is unlikely to affect them enough to make them regret leaving the relationship.

So keep in mind that no contact can make your ex-boyfriend miss you. It can trigger his bittersweet feelings as soon as he processes the initial stages of a breakup and engages in reflection. He could miss the things he took for granted and lost because of the breakup.

This includes emotional support, company, validation, an active social life, compelling conversations, mutual hobbies, and much more. What he misses depends mainly on what he lost and doesn’t have anymore.

If he lost a friend to talk to whenever he had a bad day at work, he could miss having someone to vent to. If he lost a sexual partner, he could miss sleeping with you and feeling sexually fulfilled. And if he lost financial support, he could miss your reliability.

If you’re talking about romantic missing, however, know that he won’t miss you that way until he actually wants you back. To miss you as a romantic partner, he’d have to have feelings for you and regret dumping you. That means the guy would come back for you when he realizes he needs you to reciprocate his feelings and validate his importance.

He wouldn’t stay away from you if he loved you and wanted to be with you. Pride and stubbornness wouldn’t stop him from admitting he made a mistake and that he wants you back.

In today’s article, we focus on post-breakup nostalgia and discuss whether your ex misses you during no contact.

Does he miss me during no contact?

If you haven’t heard from your ex, his silence speaks for itself. It says that your ex is focusing on himself and that he probably doesn’t miss you or miss you enough to reach out and have a civil conversation. Occasionally, he may feel bad and miss the friendship aspect of the relationship, but when it comes to romance, there is no desire or need to re-experience it.

No contact needs time to work. A few weeks of space are unlikely to change your ex’s mentality and cause him to become sentimental. He’ll need much longer than that to miss you. You’re probably looking at months of no contact, followed by some negative experience that forces him to see things differently.

When he gets in trouble and reflects on his choices and behaviors, he could begin to miss you and wonder about you. If he gets super curious, he might even reach out to you or ask your friends and family for updates on your life. That would imply that he dislikes not knowing what you’re up to and that he has at least some respect for you.

An ex who doesn’t respect you wouldn’t check up on you and talk to you. He’d stay away from you, talk badly about you, or treat you terribly. He’d put himself first and make sure to keep his space from you.

So does he miss you during no contact? This depends on what your ex is doing. If he’s reaching out, sending you pictures, posting nostalgic things on social media, commenting on your posts, and asking others about you, you can be certain that he misses you. He may not miss you as a partner, but he misses spending time with you and knowing what you’re up to.

Keep in mind that an ex could also only be curious about you. If he’s just curious, he’ll reach out only once (or randomly) and ask you random questions that have nothing to do with getting back together. The conversation will feel more like an interrogation than a healthy back-and-forth exchange of words. It will also lack depth and end shortly.

Whether a guy misses you during no contact is hard to tell because some dumpers stay away from their ex even though they miss their ex. They don’t want to contact their ex and give their ex the wrong idea (that they want to get back together), so they stay away from their ex and keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves.

That is probably for the better. If they were to tell their ex things like “I miss you,” their ex could mistake their missing for romantic feelings and get his or her hopes up. The dumpee could give up on staying in no contact and start pursuing the dumper. That would, of course, smother and irritate the dumper and end badly for the dumpee.

Hence, it’s safe to say that your ex doesn’t miss you romantically during no contact. He’s enjoying his freedom and independence and minding his own business. Your ex might also miss you as a friend, but he might not tell you that. Not if he wants to let you heal or thinks it’s too soon and unsafe to reach out.

If the breakup happened recently, your ex probably still feels relieved and wants to keep feeling that way. He wants to stay in control of the breakup and not feel nostalgic and doubtful.

His opinion and feelings could change when he processes negative breakup emotions and sees that things weren’t so bad when he was with you. That’s when he could take a more active approach and talk more positively to or about you.

Having said that, here’s why your ex doesn’t miss you romantically during no contact.

You’re probably doing no contact to make your ex miss you, but keep in mind that your ex won’t miss you romantically until something bad happens and makes him realize he misses you.

He’ll miss you only if he gets dumped, fails a relationship, struggles to love himself, or experiences some kind of problem he lacks the tools, confidence, and will to fix. When he becomes nostalgic and needs you, you’ll know you’re important to him because he’ll seek your forgiveness, invest in you, and ask you for your attention and opinion.

How will I know if he misses me during no contact?

You’ll know he misses you as a friend when he reaches out, asks for friendship, tells you what he’s been up to, asks you questions, and admits to missing you. You won’t sense any anger or resentment in him because he’ll have worked through the negativity he felt before, during, and after the breakup.

When he misses you as just a friend, the conversations will be very surface-level. You’ll talk about some of the things you did together, but mostly about the things happening in the present. Conversations could last minutes or hours, depending on how long it’s been since you spoke and how badly you miss each other.

If you miss each other a lot and have no one or nothing to replace each other with, you could talk a lot every day. Eventually, though, you’ll catch up with each other and feel less enthusiastic to talk and exchange information.

If you don’t want to get friend-zoned by your ex, you shouldn’t talk to your ex as just a friend. As soon as you discover your ex has no feelings for you, you should ask for space and go back to no contact. That will let your ex know you’re not interested in friendship and preserve your worth as a dumpee.

On the other hand, if no contact makes your ex miss you romantically, your ex will take a more direct approach. Your ex will talk about subjects with depth, express feelings and regrets, compliment you, and try to get back with you as quickly as possible. He’ll be in pain and scared of rejection, so he’ll hope that you take him back and fix his problems for him.

An ex who misses your love will do his best to get back with you. He’ll make sure you love him back and that you resume working on the relationship. It won’t take you long to realize that your ex wants you back because your ex will treat you like an equal and expect love and commitment from you.

It doesn’t take a genius to understand that an ex misses you romantically. You just need to remain level-headed and let your ex explain why he reached out and what he expects from you. You can speed up the process by asking your ex why he reached out/told you he missed you.

His response will tell you if he misses you as a friend or a partner or if he has ulterior motives for reaching out. Many dumpers reach out due to boredom, guilt, shame, and curiosity. Such dumpers shouldn’t be entertained and befriended.

They should be told you want to focus on yourself and take your time to process the breakup.

Always remember you don’t need to know whether your ex misses you. If you hear him say he thinks about you and misses you a lot, you could pay attention to him instead of yourself, stop moving on, and feel confused and disappointed when he doesn’t act how you want him to act.

What you want him to say is that he loves you. And he needs to mean it as a partner rather than a friend. Some exes use the word “love” synonymously with “like” and “respect.” They have no idea love is reserved for partners and that it makes dumpees feel falsely validated and strung along.

Are you still wondering if he misses you during no contact? Did your ex do anything to seek your attention and express a desire for friendship or more? Comment below and let us know.

And if you’d like to talk to a breakup expert about your breakup troubles, click here to read more about our coaching services.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.