Do Ex Girlfriends Come Back After Months?

Most ex-girlfriends who come back do so after months. Time away from dumpees gives them enough time to think about whether dumping their exes was the right thing to do. It gives them a chance to compare their new life to the life before and encourages them to figure out if they were happier in the past.

If they were happier, they usually don’t come back. They don’t have a reason to because happiness doesn’t make them think back and reflect. It makes them focus on themselves and stay the way they are. But if they aren’t happy and/or become nostalgic, then distance and time can make them think of exes in a good light and allow them to redevelop romantic feelings and cravings.

The more they think about their exes and convince themselves that what they had was worth their time, the more dumpers want to talk to their exes and obtain their love and validation. Positive ex-thoughts and even ex-dreams increase their longing for connection and make them want to restore that connection.

So yes, ex-girlfriends do come back after months. But this doesn’t mean that all of them do. Only those exes who had a strong connection with their dumpees or those who have the ability to let go of the past and reflect come back. This is because such exes want to once again have a strong emotional bond and feel secure and happy with their exes.

On the other hand, exes who lack an understanding of themselves, those who can’t process the breakup, and those who don’t get hurt typically don’t come back. They tend to develop an emotional wall, keep their exes at a distance, and continue to think poorly of their exes. Doing so justifies their decision for leaving and allows them to move forward without guilt or shame.

It doesn’t matter how many months or years go by. If they can’t find a strong emotional incentive to come back, they don’t return because they don’t reminisce about the past and want to relive it.

They just focus on the present and future and do whatever makes them happy.

Stay aware of that so that you don’t keep waiting for your ex-girlfriend for months and months. Waiting will waste your time. The time that could help you learn about what went wrong, how you can improve, and allow you to detach.

Know that it’s okay to want your ex back, but don’t just focus on your ex coming back and doing nothing with your life. Try to stay busy so you can get something meaningful out of the breakup.

Bear in mind that ex-girlfriends who come back after months normally do so because they rebound or fail with someone so badly that they get hurt and realize they should have stayed with the person whose love and safety they took for granted.

Such exes become anxious and fear that they’ll lose their dumpee forever if they don’t act fast.

This post will answer the question of whether ex-girlfriends come back after months. We’ll talk about the types of exes that come back and what typically changes for exes after months of no contact.

Will my ex-girlfriend come back after months?

First things first, now that you know that only certain ex-girlfriends come back after months, try to let go of hope just a little bit. It’s okay to have some hope because hope gives you the strength to cope with denial, but don’t intentionally look for it.

Instead, try to be realistic. Do that by evaluating whether your ex-girlfriend is the type of person who could eventually come back.

Was she into you from start to finish and had a loving long-lasting relationship with you? Was she capable of talking about negative emotions and processing them in a healthy way? What about her maturity, self-awareness, thinking patterns, and understanding of right and wrong? How developed and responsible was she as a person and willing to admit she was wrong?

These things alone likely won’t be enough for your ex-girlfriend to come back. They’re merely some basic things that could allow her to reflect on the past and trigger her nostalgia when the time is right, aka when life gives her lemons.

Another just as important deciding factor is the quality of your relationship and the strength of your emotional bond. Right after the breakup, dumpers don’t care about the bond they had with their exes. They think they can find something better, so they set out to find it.

They search and look and eventually find someone they think is compatible with them. Depending on how good the new bond is and how well they get along, their new relationship can play a big role in their return. It can make them realize that the new person is much worse than their recent ex and that they were happier, calmer, and more fulfilled in the past.

Unfortunately, this is the most common reason exes come back. Dumpees don’t like it because the thought of their ex being intimate with someone else gives them anxiety, but they need to know that romantic failures can trigger the strongest cravings for emotional understanding and affection.

Romantic failures (especially rejections) can affect their self-esteem and make them want to heal and feel whole again. The easiest and quickest way for them to feel accepted and loved is to go back to someone who knows them on an intimate level and has the highest chance of taking them back.

That someone is the dumpee they’ve rejected.

To see dumpees as worthy individuals, however, dumpers need to avoid destroying their dumpees’ worth. They mustn’t ruin their exes’ reputation, make fun of them, reveal their secrets, or convince themselves their exes are the worst people they know. Negative associations can be extremely difficult to undo.

This is because the breakup creates such strong negative emotions that any negative association is likely to stay deep-rooted within them. It can stay so deep in their subconsciousness that not even pain from their new romantic failure can help them get rid of it. That’s why it’s important for dumpers not to form unhealthy beliefs and perceptions of dumpees.

It’s also just as important for dumpees not to force dumpers to create unhealthy beliefs and perceptions. They need to respect themselves and stay away from their exes otherwise they could make dumpers feel uncomfortable and permanently ruin their image.

All in all, whether ex-girlfriends come back depends on how dumpees present themselves and how capable dumpers are of reflecting when something or someone hurts them and affects their self-esteem. If they’re self-aware, mature, and forgiving, they may not become resentful and could eventually cool off and see their exes’ worth.

To conclude this chapter, here’s when ex-girlfriends come back after months.

Accept that you lack control and let go

If it’s been months and you’re still trying to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you need to understand that there’s nothing you can do that will change the outcome of your story. Resisting the breakup, staying in touch with your ex, and looking for signs your ex will come back months after the breakup will only complicate things as it will make you more attached to your ex than you already are.

It will make you think you’ve got the power to entice your ex-girlfriend back into a relationship with you.

But sadly, this isn’t going to happen. You won’t get your ex back by waiting for the perfect time to strike. All waiting will do is waste the time you could be spending working on yourself and accepting the breakup.

So if you’re hoping that exes come back months after the breakup, know that some do. But even if 99% of them come back, you must still look after yourself and try to let go of hope. Hope is not a good thing as it keeps you in the past and prevents you from finding happiness without your ex.

Right now, you think you need your ex to be happy, but that’s only because you’re experiencing a hormonal imbalance due to separation anxiety.

Once you stop feeling anxious, you’ll see that waiting for your ex to come back was a waste of time and that you could have done so many better things. Things that would have helped you move on and allowed you to be more productive.

Letting go of hope will actually increase the chances of your ex wanting to be with you. This is because you’ll become emotionally independent and happy again and won’t need your ex to validate you. You’ll validate yourself and will look much more attractive to your ex and those around you.

Of course, your ex won’t want you back the moment you start no contact and pull away, but eventually, if your ex meets the conditions mentioned in the previous chapter, your ex will grow her respect for you and perhaps even want to be your friend or partner again.

It depends on what your ex thinks, feels, and wants from you.

While you’re staying in no contact and focusing on yourself, convince yourself that you’re powerless and that you can’t change your ex’s feelings by force, manipulation, or even kindness. Your ex has developed a certain perception of you and must change it of her own accord.

If she doesn’t want to do that, that’s her problem, not yours. She’s not the kind of person who can forget the past and disassociate negativity from it. She prefers to hold grudges or negative opinions because doing so empowers her (gives her strength).

Such an ex-girlfriend isn’t worth waiting for. Even if you messed up badly with her (let’s say you cheated on her), you mustn’t keep trying to fix her problems for her. She won’t let you fix anything because she won’t be open to the idea of letting you get close to her again.

Remember that people have boundaries. When you cross those boundaries, that’s it. You likely won’t get another chance with them. Not unless something goes so badly wrong in their life that they think you’re a better option than the people they got involved with after the breakup.

So do your best to treat your romantic partners well while you’re with them. Every day is a chance for you to prove who you are and how capable you are of adapting and improving. Every day you get to respect the person you’re with and give her love and everything she needs.

Exes come back when you stop caring about them

If you were a good boyfriend, fiancé, or husband and your ex left you (possibly betrayed you), your ex will need to explore other options for a while. She’ll have to go through the breakup stages and see if she can be happier with someone else.

If she is happier or about as happy as she was when she was with you, she won’t come back. There won’t be any need to because she’ll (temporarily) settle for the new guy. The girl or woman will come back only if the new person and the relationship with him are much worse than your relationship with her.

The realization that she downgraded could hurt her a lot and allow nostalgia to impact her rationality. It could make her start thinking of you as a better option and leave the new guy to come back to you. Just keep in mind that it could take more than a few months for that to happen.

Although new couples get through the infatuation stage after months of dating, they don’t always break up right away. They tend to stay together for a while longer because they want the relationship to work. They want to be with each other even though they’re not compatible or ready (developed enough) for the relationship. Such relationships tend to have high highs and low lows and cease to exist when the lows become unbearable.

That’s when people get hurt and start looking for backup options (exes to be with). If you’re lucky, you could be one of those exes. Just make sure you take your ex back for the right reasons – because your ex is good for you and has learned her lessons.

Do you think ex-girlfriends come back after months of being apart? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below the post.

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Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.