Do Ex-girlfriends Come Back After A Rebound Relationship?

Before we talk about whether ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship, we need to clarify what a rebound relationship is. Most dumpees assume that the relationship after a serious relationship is called a rebound and that dumpers can’t succeed with someone new soon after the breakup. But as much as I’d like that to be true, it, unfortunately, isn’t.

A rebound relationship has nothing to do with the length of the previous relationship, the things an ex-couple has created together, and how quickly the dumper rushed into a new relationship. It has everything to do with how attached the dumper is to her ex-boyfriend and how much she loves him. The more respect she has for him and the more she wants to be with him, the higher the chances that she’ll experience an absence of emotional responses when she tries to connect with someone new.

That’s because she won’t be able to form a deep emotional connection and build the foundation of a healthy relationship. She’ll try to but fail because she’ll expect her new boyfriend to be like her ex-boyfriend and feel misunderstood and unhappy as a result.

That’s the definition of a rebound relationship in a nutshell. But another thing that can trigger rebound-like emotions in the dumper is a new unhealthy or incompatible relationship. That kind of relationship can hurt the dumper, make her reflect, force her to compare her new boyfriend to the previous one, allow her to see that her ex-partner was a better option, and make her crave her ex-partner.

So all in all, a person can rebound when she:

• still has feelings for her ex.
• gets involved with someone who isn’t meant for her and realizes her ex was better.

The dumper won’t necessarily rebound just because she monkey-branched into a new relationship. It’s unlikely because she’s tired of the old relationship, developed negative opinions of her ex, and wants to focus on herself. She’ll come back only if she can’t let go of her ex or if her new relationship is much worse than the previous one.

In this post, we’ll answer the question, “Do ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship?” We’ll also discuss why rebound/new couples appear happy and perfect to others.

Do ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship?

If your ex truly is in a rebound relationship (still has feelings for you), your ex will most definitely come back. Not being with you will hurt her too much to not be with you. It will make her yearn for your validation, personality, and presence and cause her to think about you day and night.

Love will drive her to obsess about you and want to be with you right away. That’s why she’ll come back and try to get back with you the moment separation anxiety and the need for connection and reassurance build up. If she truly loves you, she won’t last long without you. The very essence of her being will depend on you for happiness, so she’ll come back very soon (probably within a week).

But if she’s fallen out of love and needs to rediscover your worth and her love for you the hard way – by dating someone else, then it will likely take her a while. It will take her as long as she needs to realize that her new relationship is at a standstill (not worth her time and effort) and that she needs to get back with you before you find another woman and get serious with her.

A rebound relationship, is, therefore, quite complicated and hard to spot. Your ex might tell you that she still cares about you or even loves you, but that doesn’t mean she has feelings for you. It means that she’s worried about your emotional health and that she wants the best for you.

There are only two ways you can tell your ex-girlfriend is in a rebound relationship.

The first dead giveaway is her showing or telling you that she loves you very much and that the new guy is just someone she hangs out with. That would imply that she’s with him only to get something out of him rather than to invest in him.

The second way to tell she’s rebounding is when her new relationship (the relationship that should be going strong) is experiencing a lot of issues – especially personality clashes and breakups. Couples who bicker and break up early on aren’t necessarily struggling to connect emotionally, but they are stuck in a negative downward spiral that gets worse with time.

I haven’t heard of any couples who experienced a lot of issues at the beginning of the relationship and made it past the infatuation stage. Couples with poor beginnings tend to have even poorer endings. They just can’t break their negative/unhealthy patterns, so they break up when their relationship gets old and loses the excitement.

Such relationships may not be perfect examples of rebound relationships, but we could say that rebound couples fail because they expect too much for the level of personal growth they’ve achieved. They rebound and sometimes (not always) run back to their ex-partners for healing, comfort, and affection.

Your ex could too if her new relationship lets her down.

So if you’re wondering, “Do ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship,” know that it depends on whether they still have feelings for their ex-partners and if they’re capable of reflecting after their new relationship goes south. If they can see the value their exes bring to the table and want to add that value to their lives, they come back when they get hurt enough.

Most dumpers feel the need to come back when they’re hurt because going from a good relationship to a worse one can be a hard pill to swallow.

Dumpers leave their partners to find better/stronger romantic opportunities. They aren’t happy to trade a good pair of shoes for worn-out ones. If they downgrade, the reality oftentimes hits them hard and forces them to value and desire what they had before.

But for that to happen, they need to respect their exes and be mature enough to process their negative perceptions of their exes. If they can’t let go of the past, they can’t come back. This is because they continue to view their exes as the people they made them out to be and refuse to give their exes the importance they deserve.

So rest assured that ex-girlfriends just like ex-boyfriends come back after rebound relationships. They realize their exes’ worth because new relationships (especially bad ones) are the best way for dumpers to appreciate their exes. They’re great opportunities for them to see that they had the grass is greener syndrome and that they shouldn’t have left to chase the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

This picture explains why ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship.

When do ex-girlfriends not come back after a rebound relationship?

We’ve discussed when ex-girlfriends come after a rebound relationship, so it’s only fair that we talk about some instances where exes don’t come back even if they fail miserably with someone else.

We’ve already mentioned that they don’t come back if they don’t reflect as reconciliations depend on the dumper’s ability and willingness to reflect. Without reflection, there will be no reconciliation. There will only be an ex who isn’t able to forgive the dumpee and/or improve her perception of him.

Ex-girlfriends also tend not to come back if they’re emotionally unavailable, immature, incapable of growing, and used to branching from one person to the next. Such people chase after external happiness and don’t understand that relationships require a lot of work on commitment.

They need a dedicated mindset and a strong desire to develop a bond and progress in life (marriage, kids, goals, etc.).

That’s why ex-girlfriends with self-centered/immature mentalities, trust issues, commitment phobias, and desires to meet the most perfect person from the start oftentimes don’t come back. They tend to look for the next best person to date and get tired or bored when they get to know someone new who wants a commitment with them.

Of course, they could resolve their issues and start craving something more serious in the future, but that usually doesn’t happen until many years later. It usually takes them years to mature up and understand where they went wrong because that’s how long it takes them to hit a snag and be forced to reflect.

Such exes may contact their exes once they’ve developed a desire to settle down, but they also may not. It’s impossible to predict what someone will discover and want years from now.

The point is that you mustn’t wait for your ex-girlfriend to come back after a rebound relationship. If she’s with someone else, she isn’t thinking about being with you. Her focus is on the new guy and will stay on him unless they experience issues or break up.

That’s when you’ll probably hear from her.

My ex seems so happy with her rebound

If your ex’s “rebound” relationship is new and she appears to be happy, this is because her relationship is new and exciting. They’re going through the limerence stage and don’t see each other’s negative points yet. They’re still focusing on the way they make each other feel and as a result, appear to be on cloud nine.

They probably are on cloud nine. But they won’t stay that elated forever. Soon (in just a few months), they’ll get used to being with each other and return to their pre-relationship selves. That’s when they’ll start encountering stress, disagreements, and issues that will determine the success of their (rebound) relationship.

So don’t worry too much about their happiness right now. They’re happy because that’s how new relationships feel. They make couples go through the 5 stages of a new relationship and help them develop a strong emotional bond. This bond will require a lot more than happy hormones to maintain.

It will require a lot of self-awareness, hard work, maturity, relationship knowledge, the ability to handle negative emotions, perceptions, and temptations, and much more. Don’t judge their relationship based on what you see and hear. Lots of couples portray themselves as perfect couples online and to their friends even though they can barely stand each other at home.

Don’t let your ex’s happiness affect your self-esteem. Don’t take it personally because it’s got nothing to do with how good a partner you were or how good her relationship is. Her happiness is normal and expected as most couples feel elated for a while.

Will my ex come back from a rebound?

I reiterate that if your ex is in a rebound relationship (not in just a new normal relationship), your ex-girlfriend will come back because your ex will realize that she’s made the mistake of her life and that she needs to fix that mistake before it’s too late. It could be too late once you detach and/or find someone else/someone better.

But if your ex is in a new relationship and is happy, your ex probably isn’t having a difficult time connecting with that person. She’s doing just fine emotionally and will have to get to know the guy and learn whether she’s compatible with him.

If she is compatible, she won’t come back just because you were with her for months or years. Dumpers don’t care about the time they’ve spent with their exes. They care about the way they felt towards the end of their relationship. This is the most important thing for them as they form unhealthy opinions and leave because of them.

Therefore, your ex will come back only if she has an epiphany and discovers your worth. And she’ll discover your worth if you go no contact (stay away from her and preserve your worth) and let her relationship hurt or disappoint her.

That could make her come running back for closure and all the things romantic partners crave. If she comes back, you’ll have to make sure she’s come back for the right reasons and that she’s ready to work on herself. But that’s a topic for another day.

Today, you need to learn and emotionally understand that ex-girlfriends indeed come back after a rebound relationship, but that most dumpers don’t have rebound relationships. They have normal relationships because they’re detached and ready to date someone new right away. They’re ready to start serious relationships and invest wholeheartedly in them.

So don’t consider your ex-girlfriend’s new relationship a rebound just because your ex jumped into a new relationship almost right away or right away. The truth is that your ex was ready for a new relationship even before she left you.

She had lost feelings for you and probably wanted something different and more fulfilling. I know this is hard to hear, but you need to hear it so you don’t think that all dumpers’ new relationships fail. The truth is that the chances of their new relationships failing are no bigger than any other relationship.

Not unless they have feelings for their exes, personal issues to resolve, and are incapable of connecting with people.

I hope you’ve learned whether ex-girlfriends come back after a rebound relationship. Let us know what you think about rebounds and space-deprived exes below the post. Feel free to post your story and ask questions too. We’ll get back to you shortly.

And if you think your breakup was unique and want a quicker, more detailed response, check out our coaching packages on this page.