Extremely Bad Breakup Advice For Dumpees

We’ve all been given good and bad breakup advice before. In this article, we will discuss extremely bad breakup advice that you can receive from friends, family, strangers on the internet and even from yourself (your intuition).

1)Your ex will miss you after 30 days

I don’t exactly know where the 30-day no contact rule origins from, but it’s really the worst breakup advice you can be given—whether you want your ex back or move on.

This devious breakup plan can be found all over the internet—especially on Youtube and blogs spreading false information.

Anybody who tells you to reach out to an ex who isn’t in a receptive state of mind is playing with your feelings, your recovery and your ex’s opinion of you.

Thinking you can talk your ex back into a relationship by texting him or her every now and then is false thinking. It’s mission impossible that’s never going to happen.

First of all, contacting your ex before he or she is ready pumps you up with false hope and makes you believe everything will work out in a certain amount of time.

And when your dreams don’t manifest into reality, it crushes them very quickly and painfully.

So if you wish to save face and maximize your chances, follow the indefinite no contact rule.

There is no better way to go about it.

2)Listen to your friends’ and family’s advice

It goes without saying who people who are close to you want the best for you.

It doesn’t, however, mean that they know what the most logical thing to do is.

Just like you, they often follow their gut intuition which includes the knowledge they obtain from movies, books, and social media.

But unfortunately, this information is often badly depicted and quite frankly, has the opposite effect in the real world.

Friends will sometimes give you bad breakup advice that works in relationships and not necessarily in breakups.

You will hear things like, “You’ve gotta talk to her, man! Don’t let her go if you love her!” They will also advise you to show up at your ex-girlfriends doorstep with a bouquet of red roses and beg for a second chance.

Although this is a sweet and innocent gesture while you are in a relationship, it has the opposite of the desired effect in the breakup world.

Your ex-girlfriend will be repelled by your post-breakup efforts and think to herself, “Can’t he just get a hint that it’s over?”

And once you leave her property, she is going to tell everybody on her friends’ list about your pitiful attempt for attention and likely laugh behind your back.

You don’t deserve such disrespect and humiliation. So instead of following your friends’ bad breakup advice, do what the best breakup experts tell you to do.

3)Send a love/acceptance letter

Just how the previous bad breakup advice portrays neediness and insecurities, so does sending out love letters.

Here’s an example of how your ex-girlfriend interprets your “harmless” letter.

Most of the time, exes will interpret your outreach as a way to sneak back into their lives.

Depending on the emotional state they are in and the way they decipher your letter, they could:

• ignore the message altogether
• say that they have received your letter
• update you about their amazing lives
• reply with a “thank you”
• agree to see what they can do and fail to follow up

Whatever they decide to do, it will almost always cultivate bad results.

The reason for that is that the person sending the letter is jumping the gun. He or she usually sends out this letter in a state of depression and weakness and far from “acceptance.”

Similar principles apply to the dumper. Just how the person sending it isn’t ready for bad results, neither is his or her ex.

So when you send out this letter, you, in essence, expect your ex to act in a certain way. If he or she doesn’t react in a positive way, however, you get more pain and misery from another rejection.

That’s why you must avoid pushing your ex away with this bad breakup advice and protect your heart instead.

4)Taking breakup quotes literally

Reading inspirational breakup quotes is one thing, but when you read things, such as “don’t ever stop fighting for what you believe in,” you can expect the worst.

By no means should you not fight for your career, business, a better lifestyle, self-improvement, health and relationships.

You should of course always do your best from the moment you get out of bed to the time you fall asleep.

As Dale Carnegie says in the self-help book called “How To Stop Worrying and Start Living,” live in day-tight compartments.”

This ideology doesn’t, however, apply to breakups. Breakups aren’t relationships—they are breakups.

The difference between the relationship and the breakup is like day and night. One is bright and warm and the other is dark and cold.

To never to give up on what you believe in when the end has already come is the worst breakup advice you can get.

It’s really unfortunate that dumpees are often showered with breakup quotes that aren’t the most convenient for them.

4)Follow your heart to get your ex back

We all know how this cliché works. Following your heart in life is usually a good idea.

It works magnificently when you wish to change professions, go back to school and make some new friends. If you are dubious about making a decision that benefits you in the long run, listening to your heart usually does miracles.

However, when you’re dealing with an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend, following your heart is not your best option.

Far from it.

This bad breakup advice is given to you by your own heart, almost wanting you to self-sabotage your chances.

Just because you “feel” it’s the right thing to do, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is. If you were to follow your heart with your breakup, you’d likely end up under your ex’s window with a banjo and a microphone.

Your heart might tell you to do a grand gesture, but it’s far from the right thing to do.

If your heart tells you to do something desperate, be aware that it’s coming from an anxious place in your heart.

This place of great anxiety is starving for attention from your ex and will tell you to do anything to satisfy its cravings.

Remember that breakups are highly emotional occurrences. If you choose to follow your instincts, you are going to make a lot of post-breakup mistakes.

So instead of following your broken heart, listen to your brain and do what you think is right, not what you feel is best for you.

5)Warn his new girlfriend!

This is one of those self-inspired quests dumpees often participate in after the breakup.

Some dumpees sincerely believe they must protect their ex’s new partner by warning them about their ex.

They feel they need to tell the future victim about everything their ex is capable of and advise him or her to run as fast as he or she can.

But before you do something like that, allow me to explain why playing the cop is a piece of bad advice.

It’s not your job to tell your ex’s new partner how your ex mistreated you, lied to you and cheated on you.

It’s also not your job to warn this person about everything your ex is capable of.

Your ex’s new partner won’t listen to you anyway. He or she will come to a realization on his or her own when they get to know each other.

Depending on your ex’s hiding and pretending skills, it can take up to 6 months to find out about his or her true colors.

Most of the time it takes way less than half a year as people lack the capacity to hide their real personality.

So if you feel inclined to update your ex’s new partner, please be aware that you’re appearing impulsive and vengeful.

Not only are you just confusing your ex’s new partner, but you’re also ruining your karma by lowering yourself on your ex’s level.

6)Make him jealous by sleeping with his best friend

Posting happy pictures of self-improvement and portraying confidence is one thing.

Sleeping with his friends and every man on the block to prove a point, on the other hand, is “a bit” over the top.

Even if you wish to get back at your ex for what he’s done, let karma do its job.

Getting involved with something so harmful is bad for you as well as him. It reduces your value down to an escort level and tells a lot about your vengeful nature.

If you really want to make your ex jealous, become happy with yourself first and the rest will fall in place on its own.

7)Apologize and ask for forgiveness

As you may already know, forgiveness comes from within and not from someone else.

So when you’re advised to apologize to your ex in the most apologetic way, you are only contributing to the breakup.

Right after the breakup, dumpers don’t want to hear any apologies. They have decided it’s time to part ways, so try not to linger around.

You can apologize 100 times to a person for your wrongdoings and he or she still won’t forgive you. Why you might ask?

It comes down to your ex’s ability to forgive and sympathize, as well as his or her understanding of emotions and behavior.

I suppose it takes a really mature and grown individual to go against his or her breakup emotions and react rationally.

So even if your ex is a saint with unbelievable discipline, he or she might accept your apology and proceed with the breakup.

Your ex has decided upon separation days or weeks before the actual breakup after all.

8)Win her back (literally)

Many dumpees’ initial thoughts are to win their ex back.

They imagine their ex being the main price in some luxurious casino and that they must win her back.

They do so by opening their wallets and spend big amounts of money. What they don’t realize is that in doing so, they are playing the lottery.

They think to themselves, “If I can just show my ex I care about her, she will come running back to me.”

You know, while it’s true that she might come back if you buy her a Lambo or a house.

The only problem is that she will leave just as quickly, so don’t go down that route.

Gifts, birthday wishes, presents, flowers, books and concert tickets are worthless when your ex doesn’t wish to spend her time with you.

If you give your ex unwanted things, she will either enjoy your gifts without you or give them to someone else.

That said, instead of worshipping her like a queen, treat yourself to something nice.

Win your own self-respect back by going to the spa, camping, hiking or anything you love doing.

9)Talk to her parents and friends

Reaching out to your ex’s friends and family for support and advice is the worst breakup advice on the planet.

When you ask people in your ex’s social circle to help you convince your ex to come back, the word will come back around to her.

And once it does, she isn’t going to like it. She will likely feel angry at you for “being so weak” and for going behind her back.

Asking your ex’s friends and family to talk your ex into taking you back is just so wrong.

So very, very wrong.

Doing it shows her that you’re obsessing over her and that you refuse to move on.

She will probably get angered and annoyed with you for doing such things and might even lash out.

10)Do something or it’s over forever

The adage “it’s now or never” doesn’t apply to breakups.

Once a romantic relationship has come to an end, crying, kicking and screaming won’t save it.

The breakup entails both the physical and emotional separation. This means that trying to force your way back in is not an option.

When the breakup occurs for any reason at all, it’s over. At least for a while.

You don’t have the power, nor the self-esteem high enough to stand up and fight for the lost relationship.

It doesn’t even matter if you were the one who messed up.

The truth is that your partner gave up on you. An for that reason, it has to be your ex’s idea to “do something” about it.

Your only two goals should be to get over the breakup and strive to become the best version of yourself.

Anything that has to do with your ex is no longer your concern. This includes who your ex dates, talks to and spends time with.

It will be difficult to let go of your ex at first, but as you stay in no contact, you will find that it gets easier every day.

What bad breakup advice have you been given? Leave a comment below this article.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.