If you got blocked and you’re wondering if your ex will ever unblock you, you must know that most dumpers eventually unblock their exes. They may not reach out or reach out the moment they unblock, but they do realize that they no longer feel threatened or uncomfortable and that they should unblock their ex.
Unblocking lets them avoid feeling bad for pushing their ex away by force and hurting their ex. It lets them think of themselves as moral individuals who give their exes a chance to reach out if they really need to. Their unblocking doesn’t mean that they want to talk to their exes. Usually, it means that they had some time to process their reasons for blocking and that they feel safe enough to unblock their exes.
They could still ignore or block their exes if their exes see the unblocking as an opportunity to reach out and bother them with their feelings and expectations.
When or whether your ex unblocks you depends mainly on your ex’s character, beliefs, and ways of dealing with negative thoughts and emotions. If your ex is bad at processing stress and anger and letting go of the past, your ex may not unblock you for a while – if ever. He or she may keep you blocked and focus on other people and things.
It’s hard to predict what someone will do weeks or months after the breakup, but if your ex has a history of blocking and unblocking (especially his/her exes), it may be reasonable to assume that your ex will unblock you when he or she cools off, remembers the good parts of the relationship, and becomes nostalgic.
Your ex may also unblock and contact you when he or she runs into problems and misses having someone supportive to talk to. Pain, anxiety, depression, and other difficult emotions could incentivize your ex to think about you and let go of the negativity he or she associated with your persona.
So keep in mind that your ex could eventually unblock you on his or her own, provided you don’t say or do anything that makes your ex angry, stressed, overwhelmed, guilty, or anything your ex doesn’t want to feel. If you let your ex take care of his or her emotions while taking care of your own, your ex could realize that blocking was unnecessary and that unblocking you would be the moral thing to do.
Such a realization could cause your ex to unblock you and perhaps even reach out and talk for a while.
There’s no telling what your ex will do if he or she no longer feels unsafe or uncomfortable, but it will likely start with unblocking. When your ex unblocks you, your ex will have processed the emotions that made him or her block you and either reach out or not. If your ex reaches out, don’t immediately assume that your ex wants you back.
Many times, exes reach out just to bury the hatchet and settle for friendship. They have no intention of coming back and working on the relationship. That’s why they ignore the past and avoid relationship talks. They talk about their new lives and by doing so, refuse to take accountability for their mistakes and make plans for the future.
If your ex reaches out to talk about anything but the relationship and ways to get back together, you must think of your ex’s reach out as a breadcrumb. Think of it as your ex’s way of getting what he or she wants or needs from you. If your ex needs forgiveness, for example, your ex won’t hang around for long. He or she will unblock you to talk to you and forgive himself or herself for what he or she said or did.
You must be aware of the possibility that your ex might just reach out for him/herself. By keeping that in mind, you can avoid getting your hopes up and strung along. You can stop talking to your ex and resume your healing.
So don’t forget that many if not most dumpers eventually unblock their dumpee. They do it for themselves first to be on good terms with their ex and ease their guilty conscience. They may also want to help their ex, but most of them don’t do it selflessly out of a good heart. They want to gain something or get rid of some problem or unwanted feeling.
When they accomplish that, they typically stop sacrificing their time for their ex and interacting with their ex.
Since you can’t tell with certainty if your ex will ever unblock you, you should keep your hopes low. Remember that unblocking requires a change in thinking and feeling. It requires your ex to have an epiphany and want something from you. This can be forgiveness, friendship, occasional communication, sexual benefits, open lines of communication, validation, or the understanding that you may take him or her back if he or she can’t find everlasting happiness without you.
Reconciliations are essentially backup plans. They’re dumpers’ comfort and convenience – a way to return to a familiar dynamic that used to work or partially work. When they fail to reach their post-breakup expectations, they sometimes run back to their ex and avoid dealing with problems and pain.
If you want your ex back, your best bet is to wait for something unexpected and painful to happen to your ex. Something or someone must disappoint your ex and show your ex that the path he or she is on won’t bring the desired results. When your ex is aware of that, your ex could choose you as a backup option and maybe even make you his or her top priority.
This depends on the lessons he or she learns during your absence.
In this post, we talk about whether your ex will ever unblock you and what you should do to increase the chances of that happening.
Will my ex ever unblock me?
If you’re not over your ex, you probably want your ex to unblock you, contact you, and reduce your separation anxiety. You want your ex to take you back and heal your breakup wounds. While it’s okay to feel the need to talk to your ex, it’s important to understand where this need to converse with your ex comes from.
By rationally understanding your desire to talk, you can reduce your obsession with your ex and feel secure, happy, and accomplished without your ex.
I know it’s hard not to think about your ex, but you don’t need to stop thinking about your ex right away. You just need to accept the breakup and commit to keeping your distance. Distance will help you regain your rationality and see that not talking to your ex is better than talking.
Slowly but surely, you’ll see that communication gives you unnecessary hope and reopens your wounds. It makes you focus on obtaining your ex’s validation instead of relying on yourself for happiness and healing. Hence, I encourage you to consider your ex’s silence a good thing. Silence aka blocking helps your ex do the things he or she wants to do and process negative breakup emotions.
It also prevents you from saying things that make you look weak and desperate.
Time is on your side. The longer your ex stays away from you, the more time your ex has to see things from a clearer perspective and acknowledge your positive traits. When your ex acknowledges the things you did for him or her and the relationship, your ex might unblock you, apologize, and/or ask for another chance.
The future is hard to predict, but that doesn’t mean you should bother your ex’s friends and ask them to talk some sense into your ex. This is your time to go no contact and work on yourself. Commit to improving the things that weren’t working in the relationship and rebuild your self-esteem and passion for life.
Your ex will eventually check up on you. When he or she does, he or she needs to see that you’re not staying still and feeling sorry for yourself. That would reinforce your ex’s beliefs that you’re incapable of changing and making him or her happy.
When your ex asks about you or stalks your social media, your ex needs to see that you’re moving on, enjoying your life, and reaching your goals—as small as your goals may seem. You don’t need to become the next president, but you must demonstrate interest in things that have nothing to do with your ex. That way, your ex will feel less pressured and scared of unblocking and receiving an unwanted response.
If your ex blocked you because you kept begging and pleading or saying mean things, your ex could see that you were highly emotional and that this is no longer the case. But if your ex blocked you seemingly without a reason, then your ex probably thinks that blocking is morally acceptable and necessary for him or her to move on.
Don’t be afraid of not hearing from your ex ever again. Your ex will unblock you if he or she can let go of the past, improve his or her perception of you, and muster the courage to let you close to him or her. When that happens, you may already be over your ex or too busy to notice that your ex unblocked you.
Your ex’s blocking may not bother you anymore due to the improvement of your self-esteem and purpose in life. It bothers you now mainly because you emotionally depend on your ex for self-love and direction and want your ex to mend your broken heart.
While you’re healing and waiting for your ex to unblock you, remember that your ex is indirectly looking for a reason to unblock you. Your ex is enjoying his or her life and trying to live independently. When your ex gets used to his or her new life, processes negative emotions, or experiences problems or things he or she needs help with, your ex will feel tempted to unblock you, check up on you, and reach out.
You need to keep your composure and invest in yourself now that you want to talk to your ex the most so that you don’t overwhelm your ex when your ex finally unblocks you and shows interest in you.
With that in mind, here are some ways to know your ex will likely unblock you one day.
As for direct signs, your ex might unblock you if he or she:
- makes fake social accounts to check your posts and stories
- talks to you indirectly through mutual friends
- left you unblocked on other platforms (blocked you partially)
- blocked you because of something insignificant that a little bit of time and reflection can fix
What should I do when my ex unblocks me?
When your ex unblocks you, don’t reach out and show your ex that you’ve been waiting for him or her to unblock you. As badly as you want to talk to your ex, you can’t talk to your ex on your terms. That won’t make you look confident, but rather insecure and desperate for reconciliation.
Your ex has to reach out to you. And his or her reach out must include an apology, a profession of love, and plans to regain your trust and avoid breaking up. If your ex doesn’t reach out and talk about getting back together, you shouldn’t reach out and talk about it either. You should respect your ex’s need for space and look for ways to get your happy self back.
Once you’ve recovered emotionally, you won’t feel the need to converse with your ex anymore. You won’t crave your ex’s forgiveness and recognition because you’ll be okay with how things are.
So start by working on your happiness and shortcomings. Make sure you’re good on your own, and you won’t make any major breakup mistakes such as contacting your ex and trying to win him or her over with nice words and gestures.
As a dumpee, you should stay in no contact and act as if your ex’s unblocking doesn’t affect you. Your inactions will make your ex see that you’re not as obsessed as you were and that you may be stronger than he or she thought. Such thoughts could cause your ex to become curious enough to reach out.
Of course, the reach-out may not be about getting back together, but it would indicate that your ex has processed negative post-breakup emotions and become at least somewhat open to the idea of chatting. Your ex will likely still need to find a reason to get back with you.
When your ex unblocks you, you must let your ex rediscover your romantic worth. This could take a while (years or longer), so don’t expect your ex to want you back immediately. Your ex might have to date someone else and fail miserably with that person. A painful failure could trigger sentimentality and regret and bring back romantic feelings.
If you try to make your ex feel love for you, you’ll probably fail because you’ll show your ex you need him or her much more than he or she needs you. Your expectations will essentially scare your ex off and make it harder for your ex to trust you and relax around you.
That’s why it’s important to wait for your ex to come to you. Whether you did something wrong and caused the breakup is irrelevant. Your ex must initiate the reconciliation talk to restore the balance of power. When your ex is willing to do that, everything will fall into place on its own. You won’t have to chase your ex and beg for attention and love.
Your ex will turn into the dumpee and let you take the lead.
Do you think your ex will ever unblock you and want you back? When do you think that might happen? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
However, if you have a unique story to share and questions to ask, consider subscribing to personal coaching. At Magnet of Success, we help dumpees get closure, understand breakups, and encourage them to avoid making breakup mistakes.
My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.
