How To Get Revenge On Your Ex Legally?

If you’re considering getting revenge on your ex, it must be because you feel abandoned, hurt, and victimized. You feel that your ex said or did something you didn’t deserve and that you’re now forced to deal with the consequences of his or her actions.

Before you get revenge on your ex, though, you need to understand that revenge isn’t the solution to your problems. Whether it’s legal or illegal, it will show that you get back at people who prioritize themselves and cause you pain.

Revenge will reveal that your self-control is not very good and that your ex can manipulate not only your thoughts and feelings but also your actions.

Instead of appearing strong and emotionally mature, you’ll look reactive, mean, and vengeful and lose even more respect in your ex’s eyes.

In essence, you’ll put your ex in control of your life and let him or her determine your future. That will not be as therapeutic as you think. Revenge won’t give you a break from suffering. Not a long one anyway.

It may feel good for a little while because you’ll feel that your ex suffered and paid for his or her treachery, but it won’t instantly heal your separation anxiety and abandonment pain.

It’s impossible to get over a breakup just by taking revenge on an ex. If it were possible, all vengeful people would do something nasty and be done with their ex. They wouldn’t have to go through months and months of withdrawal pain, false hope, and all kinds of problems.

Sadly, getting revenge on an ex tends to create more problems than it solves.

It:

• turns you into a vengeful person
• picks a fight with your ex
• makes your ex want to retaliate
• shows your ex and the people your ex associates with what you did and are like
• slows down your healing and kills growth
• and prevents your ex from respecting you and coming back

An ex who hurt you doesn’t deserve any more of your time. He or she is your ex (someone who lost feelings and desires to work on the relationship). That’s why getting revenge on your ex would be like getting revenge on a random person.

It would serve no purpose other than feeling powerful and satisfied for a brief moment. This moment would only last a couple of days, followed by regret and questioning of your choices and morality.

The worst part is that you wouldn’t be any better than your ex. You’d stoop down to your ex’s level (or even lower) just to feel even and in control of your life.

The problems retribution creates mid and long-term far outweigh the temporary satisfaction you get from hurting your ex. My advice is to not do things you wouldn’t want your parents or children to know about. You have to be rational and demonstrate emotional self-control.

You’re the only one who can shake off these vengeful thoughts and find alternate ways to heal. It doesn’t make you weak or a pushover to walk away after your ex has hurt you. It makes you look strong (to mature people at least) and shows you respect yourself and care about your image and future more than your ex cares about his/hers.

So if you want to know how to get revenge on your ex legally, know that anything that seeks to worsen your ex’s life is unnecessary and counterproductive. It complicates things for your ex, but not as much as it does for you.

Every time you hurt your ex, you also hurt yourself because you convince yourself you’re the victim and that it’s okay to get revenge on your ex as long as it’s legal. The conviction that you have suffered more than your ex and that you should make your ex suffer in return is damaging your character development as well as your future.

It’s making you regress rather than allowing you to learn and grow. Difficult situations, thoughts, emotions, and temptations define us. If we cave into them, we let them do the same thing to us the next time we encounter them.

This means that if you allow yourself to get revenge on your ex today, you’ll most likely get revenge on your ex or some other ex or person again in the future. You’ll take revenge this time, so it will be much harder to resist the desire for vengeance under similar circumstances in the future.

Consider this a chance to improve your morals and develop resistance to pain and injustice. The better you handle the breakup, the more you’ll grow inwardly and care about people’s negative words and behavior.

You’ll never be completely immune to negativity, but you won’t take things so personally and be that reactive. You’ll realize that fighting with people who are no longer a part of your life is a waste of time as making their life difficult for a day or two doesn’t do anything to make your life better.

So don’t think that it’s somehow your job to teach your ex a painful lesson. You’re not responsible for hurting your ex and making sure your ex doesn’t do the same thing to someone else.

Your job is to heal and eventually find someone who won’t do what your ex did. That will be your legal revenge because you’ll resist temptations to fight back, refuse to give your ex power, learn from your mistakes in choosing the wrong partner, and find happiness with someone else.

You’ll be thankful to your ex for leaving you, turning you into a better person, and helping you improve your life.

After my breakup, I wanted to take revenge on my ex too. I didn’t care if it was legal or not. I just wanted to hurt her so I’d feel better about my problems and pain. At that time, I felt betrayed and humiliated and thought it was okay to project my hurt feelings onto her.

She caused them, so it was only fair that she felt them too.

Fortunately, I had some good people around me who helped me process pain and dissuaded me from acting on impulse. I’m grateful to them even today because if it weren’t for their support, I could have done something I’d have a hard time forgiving myself for.

I don’t want you to do something nasty for a moment of self-empowerment. I don’t want you to have regrets for years or longer. You could blame yourself for hurting your ex and by doing so, prevent yourself from seeing yourself as a changed/good person.

Revenge could make you a prisoner of your thoughts and make you feel guilty for years to come. That would make your ex victorious.

In this post, we talk about how to get revenge on your ex legally. We discuss different revenge tactics and things you should and shouldn’t do if you feel hurt by your ex.

Don’t get revenge on your ex directly

There are only two ways to get revenge on your ex; the direct and the indirect way. The direct way includes doing something that hurts, annoys, or inconveniences your ex. This could be something like slashing your ex’s tires, spreading rumors, throwing your ex’s stuff away, and playing jealousy games.

The indirect way, on the other hand, is the more legal and moral way. It requires no direct meddling with your ex’s life and emotions. All you need to do is focus on your new life and improve your life so much that your ex notices your changes and improvements and wonders about you.

When your ex wonders about the changes you’ve made, your ex could envy you and feel jealous. This, of course, depends on how happy your ex is and what’s going on in your ex’s life.

If your ex is dating someone else and having a great time, your ex probably won’t care about your new life even if you’ve become the happiest, most successful person on the planet.

Your ex will continue to focus on the new person and pay no attention to you. Your ex will notice your changes only when your ex is ready and willing to notice them. This will happen when your ex stops feeling empowered and realizes he or she treated you terribly.

Regardless of what your ex notices and does, this isn’t about your ex. It’s about your wanting to put this behind you and feel better. And you’ll put this behind you not when you’ve hurt your ex but when you’ve turned your life around and stopped craving your ex’s recognition.

That’s when you’ll get revenge on your ex legally and move on once and for all.

You must remember that revenge is for the weak-minded. It’s for those who feel powerless and think they should extort power and validation by force.

Strong people are aware of what’s going on inside them. They know it’s human to experience unwanted emotions and that it’s not right to act on them. Such people ignore temptations to strike back and walk away from those who lost their respect.

All in all, it doesn’t matter if your ex regrets hurting you. You don’t need your ex’s forgiveness. You don’t need to see that your ex is hurting either. All you need is to detach, process the pain, and take your mind off your ex.

How you do that is up to you. Just don’t take revenge. Don’t do it even if you can legally get away with it. Once you’ve calmed down, you’ll think rationally and see that wrongdoings are wrong whether you get punished for them or not.

They’re wrong because they aim to hurt your ex just to feel better about what was done to you.

I know you feel hurt and angry and that you want your ex to suffer after what he or she has done. I know that emotions are all over the place right now and that you probably don’t care much about doing the morally right thing. Your mind is telling you to do something to relieve your pain—and to do it now.

You don’t want to wait and keep hurting.

I get that. I’ve been through it myself. But had I taken revenge (and I could have done many vicious things), I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. I would have chosen the unhealthy way to deal with unfairness and rage and fail to learn how to deal with injustice and difficult emotions.

I’m not saying you should only think about ways you can benefit from this experience. But if you give in to how you feel, you’ll show your ex you got dumped for a reason and regret it later.

If you’re not the type of person who regrets punishing people, then you’ll treat the next person and the person after that the same way. Someone will eventually accept your challenge and stand up to you. And that will be your karma.

So what is revenge? Revenge is getting back at someone who did you dirty. You may be the only one who thinks your ex did you dirty, but it’s essentially payback for causing you pain and not being able to control that pain.

Therefore, revenge is something you do for yourself, not something your ex asks for or forces you to do. You permit yourself to act on difficult emotions and be vengeful. Since you know your ex’s weaknesses, you know exactly what to say or do to cause maximum damage.

It’s your therapy. You wish to cause pain in order to feel better about the pain that was caused to you. It’s an eye for an eye way of thinking. I hope you see why you’re contemplating hurting your ex and why it’s unnecessary and counterproductive.

If you’re not convinced yet, here’s what will happen if you decide to get revenge on your ex legally or illegally.

Although you can probably avoid getting arrested by taking revenge on your ex legally, you won’t get away with it morally and/or behaviorally. You’ll either find it hard to forgive yourself for some time or turn into a person who takes revenge on exes and bring the worst out of them.

How you act now that you’re hurting is extremely important. It will determine the path you choose and where that path takes you. If the path you choose is moral, you’ll have a significantly lower chance of getting yourself into another situation like this.

That’s why I strongly encourage you to focus on the consequences of taking revenge on your ex rather than the short-lasting gratifications. Think of the breakup and its aftereffects as a means of elevating and propelling yourself toward long-lasting happiness and success.

No one’s perfect. But vengeful people are the furthest from it. You don’t have to become known as the person who took revenge on his/her ex. Not when you can be someone who walked away with self-respect and pride and found healthier ways to get revenge on his or her ex.

Those ways are indirect and include leaving your ex completely alone. They let your ex have the last laugh right after the breakup and give you something worthwhile to work on while your ex is enjoying space and doing nothing to evolve.

How to get revenge on your ex legally?

If you want to know how to get revenge on your ex legally, you have to give up on punishing your ex directly. Forget about humiliating, hurting, and making your ex jealous. Your ex won’t care or care about it for very long because your ex doesn’t depend on you emotionally.

Your ex is detached and ready to move on.

You’re the one who needs closure and/or healing. You need to process the separation/ill-treatment and feel a sense of control. Because you don’t and haven’t regained control of your composure yet, you’re thinking about getting revenge on your ex legally – in ways that wouldn’t get you jailed.

The good thing about this is that you’re not thinking about putting your ex and yourself in grave danger. You just wish to make your ex’s post-breakup life a bit more difficult than it seems to be and stop your ex from walking away unscathed.

Despite not having anything sinister planned, you need to keep in mind that revenge is revenge and that you don’t actually want anything bad to happen to your ex or you. You don’t want to suffer, so you also don’t want your ex to suffer.

Vengeance is a sign that you’re hurting and that you don’t want to suffer alone.

It sucks to be the only one who’s hurting, but that’s how breakups are. The dumpee/betrayed person gets to suffer whereas the dumper (the one who leaves) tends to self-prioritize, date other people, and enjoy his or her life.

The dumper gets to suffer later when he or she enters into another relationship and faces the same problems. That’s when the dumper gets paid a visit by karma and suffers indirectly.

If you’re not over your ex by then, you’ll get your revenge and stop craving it.

You can also get revenge on your ex legally by fixing your shortcomings and becoming the best version of yourself. This may not give you the instant satisfaction you crave right now, but it will help you later when you’re over your ex.

It will help you because you’ll outgrow your ex and no longer want what he or she can offer you. Deep inside you’ll know that the breakup happened for a reason and that you can’t go back and have the kind of relationship you had when the relationship was strong.

Not after what your ex has done and the person you’ve become.

I can’t promise you that your ex will envy you and want to be with you more than ever, but if you detach from your ex and work on yourself religiously, you’ll get over your ex, outgrow your ex, and be okay with the way things ended.

That is the best revenge you can ever ask for. Happiness, peace of mind, and success are a million times better than hurting an ex and watching your ex wince in pain. Just give it some time and you’ll be glad you haven’t stayed laser-focused on your ex and hurt your ex intentionally.

To get revenge on your ex legally (indirectly), you have to do many things.

You have to:

• improve your self-esteem
• outgrow yourself and your ex
• leave your ex alone
• get over your ex
• regain your composure
• find new hobbies and friends
• let your ex keep small amounts of money and unimportant personal belongings (it’s not worth the trouble)
• learn new skills
• find your purpose in life

Don’t do anything childish such as subscribing your ex to spam emails, hacking into your ex’s accounts, prank-calling your ex, revealing your ex’s secrets, or telling your ex you’ve met someone better.

Such things will show that you’re obsessed with your ex or in other words, that your ex has power over you and controls how you feel and act.

You mustn’t let your ex have power now that the relationship is over. If anything, you must take your power back and live a joyous life. The happier you are, the quicker you’ll stop wondering how to get revenge on your ex legally and start wondering why you wanted to get revenge on someone who didn’t deserve any more of your time.

Always remember that success and happiness are the best revenge. There’s nothing you can do to hurt your ex that will give you more satisfaction than knowing you’ve put your ex behind you and improved your life so much you think you were crazy for dating your ex.

Did you learn how to get revenge on your ex legally? Do you have any suggestions for those who are thinking about getting back at their ex? Post your thoughts in the comments below.

However, if you’re still set on getting revenge by hurting your ex and would like us to talk some sense into you, sign up for coaching with us.

Zan

My name is Zan and I’m the founder of Magnet of Success. I enjoy writing realistic relationship and breakup articles and helping readers heal and grow. With more than 5 years of experience in the self-improvement, relationship, and breakup sphere, my goal is to provide advice that fosters positivity and success and avoids preventable mistakes and pain. Buy me a coffee, learn more about me, or get in touch today.