How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is Really Over?

How to know that your relationship is ending?

I know it sounds silly, but most people can feel that their relationship is over. They can feel that their partner doesn’t love them anymore and that their partner wants nothing to do with them anymore. Their partner wants to be alone as he or she appears to be having a good time without them.

That is normally a sign that their relationship has ended and that no communication, bonding, begging, apologizing, or guilt-tripping is going to change that. The only thing that could help is the dumper’s own realization that he or she has made a rash decision and that the dumpee is more important than he or she thought.

That kind of epiphany could motivate the person who lost feelings to think and feel differently about the dumpee and try harder.

If you don’t have a feeling in your gut about your boyfriend or girlfriend losing interest in you, there are other ways to tell as well. You can tell the relationship is over by observing your partner’s interest in you, the time your partner spends with you, the energy your partner invests into the relationship, the love and reassurance your partner gives you, and the planning your partner does.

All of these things combined depict what your partner wants, likes, and expects out of the relationship. So pay attention to the direction the relationship is moving in.

If you see that your partner doesn’t prioritize the relationship anymore and doesn’t care about your feelings, your partner is in the relationship just for the sake of being in one. He or she might be resentful, afraid of leaving, or simply so comfortable in the relationship that he or she stays in it despite being unhappy or unfulfilled.

A relationship like that may feel like it’s still ending, but it’s actually ended a very long time ago. Your partner just lacks the determination to initiate the breakup and go through with it. You need to know that if things don’t improve (which they won’t on their own), the relationship is going to keep stagnating and/or getting worse.

Eventually, someone’s going to lose feelings (probably the less attached person) and ask for space to focus on his or her own things and enjoy life without distractions and frustrations.

If you’re worried that the relationship may be over, you’ve probably noticed that your partner hasn’t been himself or herself recently. Your partner has been acting cold, distant, disinterested, or strange and has been spending a lot more time with other people. Behaviors like that indicate that priorities lie elsewhere for your partner and that if you and your partner don’t work on restoring the bond quickly that the relationship will sooner than later fall apart

Most of the time, relationship killers such as stressors, disagreements, temptations to cheat, and the desire to feel loved and understood break couples up as couples can’t get back on track quickly enough. They can try, but if they can’t get rid of their doubts and develop a healthy relationship mentality, they tend to stay unhappy until they see each other as roommates, friends, or friends with benefits, depending on their living situation and the way they perceive each other.

So if you’re wondering how to know when your relationship is over, pay attention to what the connection is like in your relationship. Do you still go out on dates, express gratitude to each other, and look forward to spending quality time together?

Or have relationship dynamics changed and you’re not sure where you stand with your partner?

If you’re not sure where you stand, you’re probably not very important to your partner anymore. You’re someone your partner takes for granted and puts minimum effort in. By doing so, your partner lives a separate life and doesn’t worry much about yours.

This, in turn, gives you anxiety and at the same time hope that things will go back to the way they were.

Today’s post is for people who are trying to figure out how to know when their relationship is over. We’ll talk about people who are still with their partners as well as those who have been broken up with already.

How to know that your relationship is ending?

How do you know when your relationship is really over?

You can tell your relationship is over when someone loses feelings, interest, respect, direction, commitment, and the desire to communicate, express feelings, and grow both individually as well as together as a couple. The relationship may not have ended officially, but you have to understand that very few people leave the relationship on the spot – the moment something starts bothering them.

Sure, some impulsive people do, but most people slowly go through the detachment phases and then pull the trigger. While they’re falling out of love, they frequently tell themselves that they’re not happy and that they deserve to be happy. As a result, they eventually start believing they can do better, so they detach from their partner and reattach to something/someone else or the idea of someone else.

They essentially wait so long that they lose patience with their partner and wait for one final argument, stressor, problem, or some kind of opportunity to leave. That’s when they swiftly leave their partner and more often than not, feel a strong need to stop communicating and keep their ex-partner at a distance for a while. By pulling away, they don’t have to worry about their ex’s needs and expectations.

They can just do what makes them happy. It’s what they’ve been craving for a long time, so they enjoy their freedom and independence and let their ex do the same.

Some people also ghost after a serious relationship as they’re afraid of confrontation and don’t feel the need to be nice to someone who was loyal to them. People like that put themselves before their partner and think they deserve to be happy even if they have to act without forethought and cause a lot of problems for their partner.

In all honesty, insensitive ghosters don’t think about their partner or ex-partner’s feelings. They often feel so victimized that they believe the person they’re ghosting had it coming. Little do they know that they’re ruining their karma and being vengeful.

Feelings of vengefulness, anger, impatience, or contempt that don’t subside quickly indicate that a person hasn’t been managing his or her thoughts and emotions very well. Instead of managing them, he or she has been letting them grow without discipline and by doing so, allowed them to develop into resentments and various unprocessed emotions.

There are many ways to tell your relationship is over. Although most relationships go through ups and downs, the ones that have low lows and high highs tend to be the most unstable. Such couples may love each other, but they’re in serious danger of becoming bitter and splitting up.

They can’t keep ignoring problems and pretending everything’s okay when they keep feeling that their partner doesn’t understand them and care about them. The longer they keep unhealthy feelings inside them and just put up with them instead of doing something about them, the higher the chances that they’ll start feeling bitter.

That being said, the picture below shows 7 ways to know that your relationship is ending.

How do you know when your relationship is over

How do you know your relationship has ended?

If your partner broke up with you, you’re probably in a lot of pain. But no matter how much pain you’re in, you need to interpret the breakup as the end. It’s better for you to think of it that way as someone who leaves you has no intention of coming back (ever).

Even if your ex says the breakup is only temporary and that he or she will give it another go after a few months or so, that’s nothing but a load of boloney. It’s a blatant hope-instilling lie, also known as a breakup excuse.

Dumpers are good at telling them as they’re afraid of being honest and hurting their ex. They’d rather give hope than take hope away because doing so helps them avoid dealing with a situation they’re emotionally unprepared for. Lies and deceit basically help them leave their ex without facing the consequences of their actions.

So when your ex breaks up with you and you’re wondering if the relationship is really over, know that it is. It’s difficult, to hear this if the breakup happened recently, but the painful truth is better than a pleasant lie. You probably heard enough excuses from your ex, so try to come to terms with the fact your ex feels relieved and wants emotional freedom.

Your ex doesn’t want to stay emotionally close to you and probably physically as well.

And that indicates that the relationship has ended and that it may be over for good. Some couples get back together after a while, but that doesn’t mean that their relationship hasn’t ended. Not unless they get back together days after the breakup. That usually means that they had a minor disagreement or some kind of misunderstanding that temporarily split them up.

Such couples almost always break up again and for good, though. Little/multiple breakups create a rift between them and force them to keep losing trust, feelings, and the determination to persevere when things get heated. To stay together after breaking up multiple times, couples (or ex-couples) need to change who they are fundamentally.

They need to self-reflect and commit to perceiving each other differently and behaving better. Only then can they grow out of their old habits and give each other what they’re looking for.

Anyway, you should understand that a relationship is over when the dumper says or shows it’s over. The dumper has no more love for you because he or she likes the way the breakup feels. This means the dumper has to be left alone so that he or she can start processing the breakup without the dumpee dangling around.

If the dumpee doesn’t leave the dumper alone, the dumpee indeliberately puts the dumper into a corner and forces the dumper to get space and respect by any means necessary. Oftentimes “any means necessary” entails unsympathetically pushing the dumpee away and showing him or her that the relationship is over.

When your ex is over you, your ex won’t have much patience left for you. Your ex will let you know in one way or another that you need to keep your distance and respect his or her decision. That’s how your ex will keep the breakup situation under control and make sure to get what he or she wanted out of the breakup.

What to do when you know your relationship is over or when it’s ending?

If your partner is giving up on the relationship or has already broken up with you, you need to keep your eyes peeled and see things rationally (not emotionally). It won’t be easy at first because you’ll be hurt and take the breakup personally, but do your best to look at your relationship/breakup objectively.

You can do this by learning more about breakups and relationships and asking others for healthy opinions. Make sure to tell them both sides of the story otherwise they’ll immediately side with you and give you one-sided advice that may sound like, “Leave him, he’s not good enough for you, get over him.”

Although this could be the advice you’re looking for, it could also not. Especially not if you’re not maintaining your relationship in ways that you should be. If you’re poor at communicating and tend to shut down whenever your partner expresses a problem, you are a part of that problem.

You need to do something about it if there’s still a relationship to work on. You can tell your partner that you’ve started working on your shortcomings and that you’d like him or her to encourage you and work with you.

However, if your partner already broke up with you, then there’s nothing left to discuss and compromise on. There’s a big problem now. And that problem is the way your ex perceives you. Your ex thinks you’re not worth the trouble anymore and that staying away from you gives him or her more joy than keeping you around.

In that case, you must leave your ex alone so that your ex can go through the breakup stages without constant interruptions and reminders of you.

Did you learn how to know that your relationship is really over? What makes/made you know that your relationship was over? Post your thoughts below the article.šŸ™

And if you wish to whether your relationship is over 1-on-1 with us, click here to learn more about our coaching services.

4 thoughts on “How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is Really Over?”

  1. I never had a clue my 5 year relationship was ending with my ex. Absolutely nothing changed we still talk/texted the same frequency, still were always together and still had the same amount of intimacy. She never communicated she fell out of love with me and was thinking about ending it. She held all these feelings in until she blindsided me. When she dumped me she told me she didn’t love me anymore and felt that way for about 5-6 months. How do you do that to someone who loved you more than anything and never neglected or abused her? I do not understand why she couldn’t talk to me so we could at least explore why she was feeling this way and what we could do to fix it. I would have done anything for her.

    She is with someone else no and I believe she was carrying on with this guy for a month or two while she was still with me and that is why she could dump me so easily and without regret. I think she didn’t want to be alone so she tolerated me for those 5-6 months until she found someone else and I cannot believe how a person could do such a thing.

    1. Hi Ed.

      This happened because she didn’t communicate with me. She convinced herself she wasn’t happy and allowed herself to monkey-branch to someone else. You finally got to meet the real side of her. You now know she’s capable of lots of things. Monkey-branching is just one of them.

      Perhaps she’s the kind of woman who doesn’t appreciate love and stability. She may need to be treated poorly to feel the urge to fight for the relationship. Just a wild guess.

      I wish you a swift recovery!
      Zan

  2. You Zan are the best person for relationship/breakup advice. I wish I could find you much earlier, but it is what it is. Better late than not finding out about you at all!!!
    It was after the breakup that I found you, and you gave me some wise advice in one on one help.

    And yes, I saw that my partner wasn’t prioritizing the relationship anymore and did not care about my feelings. But now I got the lesson, and Iā€™m so grateful that I made it with your help

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