7 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is Over

Most relationships start strongly and slowly decrease in intensity over time. This is normal as expected as couples get used to feeling loved and needed and stop feeling the desire to bond and get to know each other. This doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with the relationship and that it will end.

It simply means that the infatuation phase has ended and that the relationship will start to get serious and experience ups and downs. Disagreements are healthy as couples need to express their views and feelings. They need to look for solutions together and compromise.

Compromise helps them respect each other and feel connected and accomplished.

People who don’t express their opinions because they’re scared of hurting or angering their partner agree to everything their partner proposes. They may be kind, giving, and hardworking, but they aren’t necessarily valued for doing all the work and having no opinion of their own.

Their passiveness makes them easily manipulated by the partner with more power and control.

You see, when a person in a relationship gets away with everything he or she says and does, the relationship becomes his or her playground. It kills his or her enthusiasm for mutual understanding and growth and lowers respect and interest in the other person.

If nothing is done about it, the couple will break up when interest plummets to 0.

In a healthy relationship, both parties need to have a 50/50 say and make decisions. They entered a relationship to be equal partners, not to abuse each other and take advantage of each other’s weaknesses. If they aren’t equal in terms of power, there’s a risk that the person with more power will get tired of feeling in charge and take the other person for granted.

He or she could then pursue a person with more self-confidence and assertiveness. 

Oftentimes, people ignore the warning signs that something isn’t right in their relationship. They think their relationship dynamics are perfectly healthy and that everything will be okay. As a result, they make no changes or improvements whatsoever, stay as they are as people and partners, and watch their partner lose interest in them.

When their partner loses interest, he or she doesn’t immediately break up with them. The about-to-become dumper first displays warning signs that the relationship is ending. These warning signs differ for each person.

Some dumpers pull away and try to hide their disinterest and reasons for pulling away whereas others become angry and bitter.

Most dumpers hold unhealthy feelings inside them for so long that they become ticking time bombs. They usually don’t actively work on the things that bother them but merely tolerate them. This ultimately leads to emotional overwhelm, a total loss of feelings, and an immense need to get space from the dumpee.

That’s when the breakup occurs and hits the clueless dumpee.

People often tell me “I didn’t see the breakup coming. My ex kissed me and talked about marriage and kids just before the breakup. He completely switched on me. What changed in such a short amount of time?”

Dumpees don’t know that their ex experienced unwanted thoughts and feelings for days or weeks before the breakup. They only look at the loving things their ex said or did before the breakup and fail to see the bigger picture.

The reason dumpers plan things and talk about important topics just before the breakup is that they look for something to dissuade them from leaving. They hope that an important conversation or a big promise will change their feelings and give them good reasons to stay.

Because it doesn’t, dumpers keep thinking about the things that bother them and look for a way to exit the relationship. They then leave the first chance they get.

So if your relationship isn’t the way it was and you sense that it may end anytime now, bear in mind that you can prepare yourself for what’s to come by understanding the patterns dumpers display when they’re dissatisfied with the relationship.

You can reduce the pain or leave before they do by learning about the warning signs that your relationship is over.

In this post, we’ll show you what these signs are and discuss how to identify them.

1)Your partner has doubts

If your partner is expressing or showing he or she has doubts about you and the relationship, you may as well break up now. His or her doubts won’t improve with time, but rather worsen. They’ll keep increasing until your partner decides he or she can’t take them anymore and walks away from the relationship.

A few doubts here and there are acceptable (especially during an argument). But constant doubts, followed by periods of emotional disconnections and cold behavior are a huge warning sign.

They indicate that your ex’s relationship mentality isn’t very good and that his or her negative thinking patterns will lead to the demise of the relationship.

When a person in a relationship says things like, “I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship,” he or she actually means, “I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. The only thing preventing me from leaving is guilt and attachment.”

When doubts and dissatisfaction increase and attachment and guilt subside, nothing will stop him or her from abandoning the relationship. Not even your tears and pleas. Your words and actions won’t affect your ex because doubts developed defense mechanisms that now prevent him or her from being talked out of breaking up.

Doubts cause pain. The longer a person has them, the more he or she suffers and the stronger beliefs he or she develops. Those beliefs are, of course, negative as they associate pain with their ex. 

Make sure to differentiate between having doubts and being tired or having a bad day. Doubts make a person unreceptive, uncaring, and disinterested and occur from negative perceptions.

On the other hand, a tired person is tired because of something emotionally or physically demanding unrelated to the relationship and returns to his or her normal self after resting.

Doubts typically last much longer than tiredness and may be hidden from you. Your ex may say that he or she is tired when in reality, he or she is tired of you.

So if your partner appears to be into you one day and not into you the next, know that your partner is having doubts about you. He or she is alternating between seeing a future with you and not seeing a future with you.

If this continues (which it likely will unless something big changes), he or she will eventually get tired of hurting and break up with you.

You can avoid trying to resolve your partner’s problems for him, taking his doubts personally, and getting broken up with out of the blue by understanding that doubts are a warning sign your relationship is over or will be over if nothing changes.

A week or more of doubting the relationship shows that your partner is incapable of breaking unhealthy thinking patterns and that he or she has one foot out of the door. 

2)You have a hard time getting along and trusting each other

If you argue intensely and don’t trust each other not to do relationship-damaging things, your relationship will probably keep experiencing difficulties. It will discourage you and your partner from evolving as individuals and partners because your behaviors will bring out the worst in each other.

They will cause you to experience the same issues and drag the relationship down with you.

If someone cheated or ruined trust in the relationship, it will be even harder to break the negative patterns and trust each other. It will be almost impossible because you’ll expect each other to do all the work instead of reflecting on your shortcomings individually. 

When a relationship is unhealthy or not working due to fundamental differences, immaturity, destructive behaviors, different (relationship) goals, and incompatible beliefs, the relationship likely won’t overcome all the issues.

It can’t overcome them because the people operating the relationship aren’t emotionally mature enough to address their issues and make all the necessary improvements in time.

That’s why people must develop themselves and learn to compromise before they get into a relationship. They must understand that a lack of openness and maturity in general will lead to problems, resentment, and ultimately, a breakup.

Not many couples these days tolerate abuse and unhappiness.

They are a lot less patient and have more options than their ancestors. For those reasons, they leave relationships when they see that things aren’t changing no matter how badly they want them to.

3)You broke up multiple times

Another warning sign that your relationship is over is when your relationship breaks multiple times. Multiple breakups are an indication that you’re incapable of making the necessary changes to be on the same page.

The first breakup should have scared you into improving communication and the problems that broke you up. It should have made you more self-aware and mindful of each other.

Because it didn’t, you broke up again (and possibly again). The more breakups you experienced as a couple, the less motivated you now feel to invest in yourselves and each other. If one person did all the dumping, he or she is convinced that the other is the problem and that no changes need to be made on his or her part.

The dumper thinks he or she is the prize and feels undetermined to evolve within.

Regardless of who broke up with whom, relationships with multiple breakups are on a steady decline. They are controlled by two headstrong individuals who aren’t able to work together and outgrow their old selves. 

You can tell that your relationship will end someday if you keep breaking up over and over again. It may not be tomorrow, but one day, the breakup will push the dumper to the breaking point and cause him or her to give up for good.

That will make you extremely anxious and worried for your safety and well-being.

4)There’s a significant power difference

If one person calls all the shots in the relationship, you have a warning sign that the relationship is at risk of breaking up. Something or someone could convince the person with the most power that the relationship isn’t worth the effort and that he or she should be with someone he or she respects and has to work harder to impress.

It doesn’t matter what your background is and what kind of society you’re in. If you make your whole life about your partner and give him or her your personal power, your partner will stop giving it his or her best. He or she will expect you to cook, clean, compromise, and tolerate outbursts and unhealthy behaviors.

Your over-submissiveness will essentially stop your partner and the relationship from evolving because you’ll be the only one maintaining the relationship. You’ll be doing it willingly and make things too easy for your partner.

You need to understand that huge power differences in a relationship often cause dumpers to lose interest and fall out of love. They slowly but surely make them think they can do better and that someone who stands up for himself or herself will make them feel stronger emotions.

If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you have to be self-reliant. You have to be emotionally independent and have goals outside of the relationship. That will show you can handle a potential breakup and enjoy your life without your partner.

In a committed relationship, you should encourage your partner to do chores, pay bills, communicate properly, and contribute to the progression of the relationship. You can’t be the only one who invests time, money, and emotions into the relationship.

That will likely lead to a loss of common purpose and attraction.

You need to figure out why you’re letting your partner take charge of the relationship. If it’s because your partner throws tantrums and causes fights, you’re giving up power out of fear of arguing.

And if you’re doing it because of low self-esteem or strict upbringing, your parents or the people who raised you are responsible for walking on eggshells around your partner.

No matter what or who caused you to let your partner get away with anything, it needs to stop so you can avoid breaking up and be in a relationship that makes you feel respected and needed.

5)Your partner ignores you and your needs

When your partner ignores you and refuses to make time for you, he shows you exactly how he thinks of you and how he deals with unwanted emotions. Your partner proves that ignoring you is an option and that he’ll keep ignoring you when you want something from him that he doesn’t want to do or give.

A person who doesn’t care about your feelings when you ask for attention, support, love, or validation won’t stay with you very long. He or she will brand you as a person of high maintenance and get tired of focusing on your wants and needs.

He or she will probably think you’re selfish, insecure, or demanding and claim you don’t let him or her have a life outside of the relationship. If that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you get into a heated argument and find yourself on the receiving end of the breakup.

So bear in mind that a person who ignores you and your needs doesn’t have your best interests at heart. He or she gets easily overwhelmed and thinks it’s morally acceptable to ignore a person he or she committed to.

If you notice that your partner lacks respect for you and makes you deal with stressors and problems alone, you have one of the best warning signs that the relationship is over.

6)You’re struggling to stay connected 

Another great warning sign that your relationship is over is poor emotional connection or the lack of it. If you haven’t felt connected (in love) with your partner in a while despite giving it your best, something major is probably wrong with the relationship.

You’re not communicating, bonding, understanding each other, or investing in the relationship equally. Something or someone is preventing you from growing together.

Sometimes parents and family interfere with the relationship and force couples to argue, not bond, and disconnect emotionally.

Other times though, couples are fully responsible for neglecting themselves and each other. They make decisions themselves and have no one but themselves to blame for the breakup. Such breakups comprise the majority of relationships.

Most couples disconnect emotionally because they stop watering the relationship. They stop going on dates, being intimate, and complimenting each other—and expect their relationship to thrive on its own or with minimum effort.

Such thinking disconnects them emotionally and allows doubts to arise. If doubts aren’t dealt with quickly and efficiently, they risk falling out of love and in love with someone else.

If you can’t fall back in love despite giving it your best, the relationship has probably run its course. Your partner is with you for security and relationship benefits and will leave when a better opportunity presents itself.

7)You broke up

Relationships end when a breakup happens. Some end only temporarily whereas others end permanently. Regardless of whether your ex broke up with you to change you or to get away from you, you should treat the breakup as a permanent separation.

This will help you keep your reconciliation hope under control and encourage you to detach from your ex.

A breakup shows that the dumper has no more romantic feelings. He or she lost them shortly after associating negative beliefs with your persona and finding better things or people to focus on. This happened way before you received the bad news.

I know it’s hard to accept the breakup, but you must do your best to think of the breakup as the end. Yes, some dumpers leave and return many times (especially those who make impulsive decisions and regret it afterward) but most people don’t.

Those who lose feelings tend not to return any time soon. They stay away from their ex because doing so gives them space and peace of mind. They return only if they can’t find happiness without their ex.

That means they use their ex as a backup plan and try to help themselves feel better.

So there you have it. These are my 7 warning signs that your relationship is over. If you enjoyed reading it, share your thoughts in the comments. I’ll reply as soon as I can.

And if you’re looking for 1-on-1 help with your relationship or breakup, visit the Magnet of Success coaching page and sign up for coaching. I’ll do my best to help.